posted December 31, 2008 08:04 PM         

quote:

---

I think astrology aspects cannot determine whether the native is going to be a good or a bad person, cruel or kind, stupid or smart; it depends on the person how they are going to respond to the energy of their natal aspects.

---

posted December 31, 2008 11:11 PM           

Sadistic guy:

Fun, non-sadistic, friendly guy:

They are born 5 days apart and share a great number of aspects.

Alvarella - I understand. It's very hurtful to care about the person and realize they have an unrelenting mental problem.
From my own experience, I learnt that you can't help someone who refuses to help him/herself.

That saying ^ is well-known and cliche. But there is a world of difference between hearing it said, and applying it.

It's actually extremely difficult to stop helping someone or *trying to*, in my case. I have my Neptune in the 7th to thank for that! It does get easier as the years go by. I've definitely set boundaries, following that experience.

posted January 01, 2009 04:12 AM           

But I was walking like in a fog. All I understood, clearer and clearer, was that he "punished" me for something that I was not aware of. He just freaked out in being mean, really, really sracastic - switching to "silent treatment" ... then be very (!) clingy again and sort of acting like a martir in a seemingly sweet way - just to be cold as ice again, the next day. All kinds of emotional blackmail, extremely controlling, well, and just plainly: mean, very often.

It took almost a year to finally understand ... what it was that I had done "wrong" all the time. There had been two or three occasions when his jealousy had burst out of him, in plain words ... and finally, I made up the riddle ... and learned that he was so easily hurt ... Gosh! The most sensitive man I ever met! He was jealous on everything! Once he blamed me for wearing a certain pair of shoes, while I was shopping downtown - I came back home at 7pm (early evening!), and this gorgeous, big, handsome man whom I loved more than anything, his face was frozen, he asked me: "Where have you been?", I said: "Oh, just shopping, sorry for being one hour late, look, I brought this for you...". He just looked at me, frozen, and said: "So you're wearing your nice shoes when you go shopping in town, all alone, ha? Whom have you been trying to impress with that?"

I wasn't even AWARE that these shoes had been something special for him. Just ... shoes, you know.

But finally having discovered THAT - it was too late, in a way. I tried to be more careful and tried to really, really show him, that he is the only one I am interested in ... but all was a mess already. I had spread the seed for his mistrust already - unwillingly and unknowingly!!! completely unintentional!!! - ... and that pattern of cruelty on his part would not stop anymore. Sometimes his attempts of being cruel had been so obvious and childish, that I couldn't help to find it ridiculous in a way ... he sensed that, because he had listended to his own words and was aware of the childishness as well. Once he told me, out of the blue: "Did I ever mention that you're not my type of woman at all, by the way?" How can you react on this? I tried to take it easy and just answered with a joke, like: "So, I am lucky that you deal with me at all, right? I love you for that, honey!" and just kissed him. But ... his smile was icecold then, and what was following were another 5-7 days of all kinds of other nastyness. As mentioned before: I could bear 85% of this - because basically I had understood what his problem was and I believed that we could work that out and sometimes i would be able to "soothe his nerves" in a way. Still... the remaining 15% of the attacks ... they have been hurting enough to really ... suck out all the energy of me.

I have recovered from that experience now, it took about 7 months after the break-up to get over that ... failure. Because I had to say goodbye some day, inspite of still loving him. It was just: He was a lover from hell, it was so draining, he was about to destroy me and our whole thing and I was not able to do anything against it.

Since I met this guy, I am even more fascinated about psychology. I've never seen a therapist or anything. But I came to acknowledge now: Sometimes people do need help. Even if you're a down to earth and mature persone (I tried to be with him) ... sometimes it really needs an expert to help somebody and cure his/her rage, which is brooding inside. I wasn't able to do that. I had to let him go.

posted January 01, 2009 11:20 AM         

maybe it's a deficit in one of the prefrontal cortexe's
~ http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1998/04/980410101830.htm ~
or something else ..
~ http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopath.htm ~
~ http://groups.msn.com/PSYCHOPATH ~
~ http://groups.msn.com/PSYCHOPATH/thebully.msnw ~

posted January 01, 2009 03:03 PM         

quote:

---

** .. spitting into the wind?? **
more like throwing up in the face of a typhoon ..

---

CF just tried to point out that nearly identical astro placements can “produce” two wildly different individuals. I have my own solid experience to go by there: my brother was born at the SAME TIME, in the same hospital, as another boy he later became friends with. They are *nothing* alike. They went to the same schools and were buddies, but my brother went on to become an alcoholic and drug-abuser, while the other fella has his own business and is doing very well, materially and socially. What in Astrology could possibly have *caused* two “IDENTICAL” charts to diverge so completely??

Few are listening, so why try…..

posted January 02, 2009 03:36 AM         

The only time I am "sadistic" is when someone has hurt me in an unforgivable manner in which case it would be called revenge. And hell even then I feel a little bad because I know that by being "sadistic" I am being the same as the person that hurt me and that is not who and what I want to be.