posted January 31, 2009 01:07 PM              

I now have to decide: should we give it another shot, or is it time to part ways?

Would love any outside input on the synastry or composite.

posted January 31, 2009 01:38 PM              

On the other hand it depends on what you want.
My friend also claims to have never been "in love" with her husband or being passionately crazy about him. They started out as friends and their attachment grew to the point they couldn´t imagine living without each other.
So, it has not been the lovey-dovey beginning everyone is dreaming of. Well she didn`t dream of it. ACtually she doesn`t like passion or rose-coloured-glasses too much. She is looking for security, friendship, loyalty, love and partnership, and that is what he is providing her.
They are pretty affectionate with each other, though. And I believe they really love each other, even though not passionately. But it`s what both of them want.

posted January 31, 2009 01:51 PM              

And love grows, but the feeling of being "in" love won`t.
So if it`s not there from the start, you have to ask yourself how important it is to you.

posted January 31, 2009 02:04 PM              

But lust and romance is also a part of a relationship. Of course now there is the difficulty how do we define lust, love, romantic, erotic, sensual attraction... it`s all open to discussion I guess.

posted January 31, 2009 02:16 PM              

I'll explain the situation a little better. We met online in March of last year, met in person in July, got engaged right away because we were so incredibly happy together. Didn't see each other again until September, when he moved across the country to move in with me. (Our first mistake was probably that -- moving in together after only spending a week together in person!)

The first few months were fine, but then we just fell into a rut and became so complacent. There was no spark... a lot of support and mutual respect, but -- at least for me -- no inspiration, no passion, no 'in love' feelings. Even though he says he's in love with me. I feel numb, and cruel for not being able to return his feelings.

posted January 31, 2009 02:28 PM              

I also noticed your Venus is in Aries, maybe it was just too close.
How do you feel if he is not there? Do you miss him?
Can`t you wait for you being with him again?

On a first glance I see that Sun is squaring Saturn in the composite - that could be a strain.

In the synastry there are some aspects that indicate a very soft, gentle, spiritual exchange. Like your Neptune on his Sun, which could also lead to one of you idolizing the other, and not seeing him or her very clearly.

That Karma - Psyche conjunction is one I personally like very much. It`s so spiritual and intuitive and there are deep feelings.

His Mars conjuncts your Pluto, and your Pluto falls into his 5th house, that is a potential hot combination (or could lead to power plays), but probably he feels it more, as it falls into his 5th house.

Nothing falls into your 5th house, the house of romantic feelings, play and being "in love".

What is Eros doing?
His Eros widely opposes your Karma I guess and trines your Moon, also squares your Psyche.
AS far as I see it your Eros has no aspects.
So, I guess he would be more attracted to you than you to him.

BUT you have that Eros-Psyche-square, maybe that could indicate some attraction.

posted January 31, 2009 03:32 PM            

I think what's happening for you right now is the experience of knowing that you would really like to be married to someone with his qualities someday. Write those qualities down for yourself. Then understand that you can have the full on passionate and romantic attraction at the same time. It's not difficult to find.

Yes, the man you hooked up with is a great guy, but that doesn't make him THE ONE. There is no need for you to feel guilty about him moving across the country to start a relationship with you. He will learn to take his time in the future, it's a lesson he NEEDS to learn and you shouldn't deprive him of that lesson. The measurements in your chart comparison are temporary attraction (at least physically) measurements, they aren't lasting for romance or passion. But the friendship measurements can be nice, but those look like you'll irritate each other with those after awhile, too.

Chalk it up to the fact that you're both nice people who aren't romantically compatible anymore. When you're 21 years old, that is MORE THAN OK. I wish you both luck, but you probably won't need it.

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine

posted January 31, 2009 06:14 PM            

It doesn't sound like your heart is in it. That's not a good start.

Engaged means to me set a date to get married. I'm not sure that's what went on here, but I don't think committing yourself to a marriage you aren't sure about is a great idea.

posted January 31, 2009 06:16 PM              

DD wrote:

quote:

---

My friend also claims to have never been "in love" with her husband or being passionately crazy about him. (...) She is looking for security, friendship, loyalty, love and partnership, and that is what he is providing her.

---

My best female friend from the old school-days did the same thing: She married a man, some elven years ago, whom she was not passionately in love with. She married him because he was able to give her a feeling of security and reliability. (Which was extremely important for my friend at that time of her life, because her father had died shortly before, and she felt quite hurt and abandoned by this loss.) Now, about a decade later ... she and her husband have got two kids ... and: She is constantly cheating on him for almost 3 years now - she entered an affair with a male colleague of hers (that man is married too and even has four kids!). She is not happy with that treachery ... still, she says she misses the excitement in her own marriage ... She even caught a physical illness (psychosomatic, probably) because of the bad feelings that come with this treachery ... but she cannot let it be. Her husband doesn't know about it - but their marriage is getting worse and worse....

posted January 31, 2009 09:03 PM            

quote:

---

Chalk it up to the fact that you're both nice people who aren't romantically compatible anymore. When you're 21 years old, that is MORE THAN OK.

---

Yes! And it's more than okay at ANY age! It's okay to be alone, to explore various relationships, to just be friends, and/or to wait for someone you are madly, passionately in love with before creating a life together day be day.

posted January 31, 2009 11:02 PM              

After thinking about it all day, I realized -- my fear is that this is the best I'll ever find, and if we break up for good, some day in the future I'll realize that I actually was in love and just didn't realize it. Isn't that silly? Then I had an epiphany: even if this IS as good as it gets (and I don't think it is), I am not happy with it. I don't feel fulfilled. I would rather be single than maintain this.

I still am curious for any additional input on the synastry. I think the sun/Neptune may have blinded us at first, and all the aspects to his Jupiter from my Venus/Jupiter/Saturn/Uranus added a lot of "feel good" vibes, making us good friends... ditto for my sun in his 11th. We have a mutual sun/Jupiter square (double whammy) that may have encouraged us to plow overconfidently into the idea of marriage.

But oh man, our Mercury opposition Mars double whammy has been acting up lately and THAT is not fun! Not at all!

posted April 27, 2009 09:24 AM              

------------------
•' •.♥♫♫´°°♫ • LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL •.♥.•♫°°´♫♫ ♥ •

•Sun• Cancer
•Moon• Gemini
•Mars• Cancer
•Mercury• Cancer
•Venus• Leo