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Author Topic:   Re-attraction
Lucia23
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posted April 18, 2009 11:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
How do you re-attract someone after they've lost interest?

This is sort of a companion to the "Just Not That Into You" thread...often, people screw things up in the early stages of getting to know someone who's exciting enough to them to make them feel shy and nervous...if that happens, how do you win the person back? Let's do it by the Sun or Moon sign.

EDITED TO CLARIFY: I'm not talking about when you've badly hurt someone, wronged them, or done something horrible. I'm talking about something like being too shy/smitten with them to show them your best side the second time you hang out with them, or coming back after the two of you had a disappointing day together because you were both stressed, or one of you making a small error.

I don't want to debate whether or not it's possible to re-attract someone. If you think it IS, and have some general, broad ideas to experiment with based on their Sun/Moon/Venus sign, please share those ideas!

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Lucia23
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posted April 18, 2009 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
Here's one I have ideas on. Someone please help with Scorpio and Virgo!

Winning back a Sadge:
-Move into a totally exciting other life and give them plenty of space, BUT
-when you do see them, be ecstatically happy and cheerful, not just to see them, but because your life is so philosophically rich and full of adventure
-mention happily--as if nothing ever went wrong between you two--that you're so excited, because you're planning a trip to Peru to trip on ayuasca/you just read a brilliant book on shamanism/you're learning ancient Sanskrit with these wonderful scholars from Mongolia you befriended
-BUT say, "I'm dying to tell you about this--it made me think about you--but I've got to run, we're going hiking in the woods and making a bonfire"

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amowls
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From: Falls Church, VA, USA
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posted April 19, 2009 01:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls     Edit/Delete Message
If we're gonna get general, I'd say Scorpio's the hardest to win back once you've screwed things up. Apparently they hold grudges.

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Lucia23
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posted April 19, 2009 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
But what if it's not a huge screw up with the Scorpio? Let's say you just unknowingly acted in a way that dulled their attraction to you a little. (I can't think of a good example right now...but nothing that violated their heavy-duty Scorpio code of trust or any other big code.) How would you re-spark their sexual and romantic interest and attraction?

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Plutonian Persona
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posted April 19, 2009 01:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Plutonian Persona     Edit/Delete Message
Exactly, you're not winning me back at all. I like Alan Oken's description of the Moon in Scorpio, "as a feeling of security through possessiveness in personal relationships, as well as a drive to control the environment and the ability to sever relationships with great finality"

Lucia: You'd be surprised at the smallest things that will be considered a major screw-up by a Scorpio.

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Kick It
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posted April 19, 2009 01:48 AM           Edit/Delete Message
No real way back with a Scorpio. Unless they have full control! Even then, Unlikely.
Best way is to be genuine cos they can see through crap. The good point is that they are very humane. More "real" than other signs.

Just be genuine. If that fails, unlikely to be back to normal.

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Lucia23
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posted April 19, 2009 01:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
******************************
GAH...speaking of trust, everyone, I had a plan not to write about this guy on LL. Because he likes astrology and might read this site. So I'm editing this out and turning the discussion back to general. Sorry to those who read and responded! I'm wonky, should go to bed.
****************************

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Lucia23
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posted April 19, 2009 01:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
EDITED

Funny, with my 8th house stellium and lotsa Cancer, I am a relationship severer too. When you've lost my attraction, it's gone forever, period, and there is truly nothing you can do. I can really see that with my ex.

Oh well.

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Belage
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posted April 19, 2009 02:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message
That Scorpio guy, where is his moon? Where is his Venus? If he has moon in Pisces he might be willing to forgive and forget. If he has Venus in Libra or Sagg, all may not be lost.

Also, if you have easy/positive Neptune aspects with him, forgiveness should be easy between you.

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Glaucus
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From: Sacramento,California
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posted April 19, 2009 02:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Glaucus     Edit/Delete Message
"Exactly, you're not winning me back at all. I like Alan Oken's description of the Moon in Scorpio, "as a feeling of security through possessiveness in personal relationships, as well as a drive to control the environment and the ability to sever relationships with great finality" "

I agree. Meghann broke up with me April 2nd of last year, and I haven't had any contact from her since.

She has Moon-Saturn in Scorpio conjunct Pluto in Libra in 7th. Her Moon is conjunct Saturn/Pluto midpoint less than 1 degree too.

Her first Saturn Return happens to fall on the day of my 2012 Solar Return.

Her Moon-Saturn conjunct my Sun,and my Moon in Pisces trine that.

Raymond

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Belage
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posted April 19, 2009 02:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message
You still miss her, uh, Raymond?

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Lucia23
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posted April 19, 2009 02:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
Glaucus, but that was a committed relationship, right? The breakup would've been a serious, conscious decision.

I'm talking about when two people are just in the getting-to-know-each-other stages, and do not yet have a committed relationship, but one or both of them is attracted/intrigued and they're spending time together.

Because it's happened to me and MANY of my friends--that we (or the other person) will start to seem less fabulously exciting than at the beginning, without doing anything that's a deal-breaker. Often this happens just as things are starting to get a little more (emotionally) intimate.

So it'd be good to know sign by sign strategies, because sometimes a great thing goes downhill due to a series of misunderstandings. For instance, I know two guys who were into each other, a Gemini and a Cancer. Gemini Guy adored Cancer Guy, but he was busy with something and forgot to show up at Cancer Guy's birthday party. Now, had the roles been reversed, Gemini Guy wouldn't have minded in the slightest. For Cancer Guy, this was like the end of the world. So the next time Gemini Guy talked to him, Cancer Guy was ice cold, and Gemini Guy had no idea why, and by the time Cancer started to miss Gem and decided to tell him what had gone wrong, Gem was blowing him off, etc etc etc etc. They were both sooo into each other, but the little pile-up of slights and confusion got to be too much and they never reconnected.

Or an easier one. Leo Girl is waaay into Taurus guy and vice versa. They have dinner. Taurus guy splits the check down to the penny, getting out a calculator, and insists that they leave (and split) a 15% tip. Leo Girl is horrified, and everything she thought was so great about him (his touch, his soothing sense of humor, his voice, those hands) goes AWAY. Let's say Taurus figures out what went wrong and wants to re-attract her. Sure, he could apologize, but let's say a few tiny things sent her further and further away and made her less interested.

I do think astrology can help us through those bummer scenarios. In my own experience as a Cancer Moon-Saturn/Venus, my insecurities come out just when things are starting to get good, and sometimes I blow it, and I'd like to be able to come back instead. (Also sometimes someone will be into me and I won't realize I feel the same till after he's given up on me returning his interest.)

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Dulce Luna
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posted April 19, 2009 02:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
I think Belage is right, the moon and venus signs might be clue and not so much the sun sign. Also, some synastry aspects garner forgiveness and second chances.

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good girl
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posted April 24, 2009 07:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for good girl     Edit/Delete Message
I have something I want to throw in, about scorpio being impossible to win back...

Yes, while I think that is all true, when they are done with you they are DONE! However let's not forget....

scorpians will go thru HELL AND BACK for someone they love, and they PLAY GAMES, often TESTING YOU to see IF you'll be the one to come back....never take a scorpio and FACE VALUE and think just because they break up it's over. I WOULD ADD that they will actually LOVE YOU MORE if you've split up, had drama and rebuild the relationship because it BONDS you to them (in their eyes)....

I have pluto rising oppositing my 7th, so I know a bit of what I speak of...

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PeaceAngel
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posted April 24, 2009 08:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message
I really don't believe you can win a person back - not from the early stages that will lead to anything long lasting. I mean, if you can't maintain romance and interest in the beginning exciting stages of a relationship, what hope is there for long-term?

Also, I think that if you're going out of your way to win someone over you're compromising yourself and your own truth, as well as possibly manipulating them (by being someone that you may not really be or offering something that you don't have or can't deliver or maintain).

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cristiname
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posted April 24, 2009 01:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cristiname     Edit/Delete Message
actually,
forgiveness and rebirth are also Scorpio's domain. so if anyone is actually capable to start over, that's Scorpio.

but you can't expect it to be easy, after you've hurt someone to death, can you? just because a Scopio can rise from the ashes doesn't mean you're not a killer and you still must pay for your crimes.

you must earn forgiveness; it doesn't come for free. that's all there is to it, really.

except when you prove yourself as a worthless coward and Scorpio will start to see you as a complete waste. then they'll forgive you for their own sake and will move on without you.


------------------
Aqua Asc opp Leo Saturn,7th
Sco Moon,9th-Uranus,8th sextile Cap Sun-Venus, 11th
Sag MC-Neptune-Mercury,10th; Mercury opp Gem Jupiter, 4th
Leo Mars,6th
Lib Pluto,8th-NN,7th

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mblover
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posted April 24, 2009 02:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mblover     Edit/Delete Message
gg, well said.

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Glaucus
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posted April 24, 2009 02:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Glaucus     Edit/Delete Message
I want to throw my 2 cents in

My Sun,Mercury,and Venus are in Scorpio. I am a capable of giving 2nd chances. I can forgive, but I don't forget. I believe that it's always good to remember things in order to learn from them.

My Moon in Pisces squares Neptune,and my Mercury-Venus parallel Neptune.

The strong Neptune energy could also factor into my being a forgiving person.


Ixion is a large kuiper belt object,plutino that is supposed to be about 2nd chances

mine is conjunct my Sun with 5 minutes of arc and trine my Moon with 2'15 orb.

2nd chances theme is definitely true in my life.


Raymond

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Lucia23
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posted April 24, 2009 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I really don't believe you can win a person back - not from the early stages that will lead to anything long lasting. I mean, if you can't maintain romance and interest in the beginning exciting stages of a relationship, what hope is there for long-term?

Lots of times, there are misunderstandings early in a relationship, when two people are still discovering, exploring, and learning to "read" each other. When high levels of attraction, infatuation, and excitement are involved, that can also make people extra fragile and vulnerable to hurt.

Getting past a glitch or moving beyond an early misunderstanding is part of learning about each other...if there are misunderstandings like that, I don't see it as a sign that there's not long-term potential in the relationship. And astrology can be a good tool for pleasing, soothing, or re-inspiring each other after there's been a bump in the road or a setback. I don't see that as manipulative--it's about learning what another person likes and how they work. If your friend's fave ice cream is chocolate and yours isn't, buying her a chocolate ice cream isn't compromising yourself or being manipulative--it's just acknowledging who she is and what she loves.

Then again, I'm not a fatalist. I hate "oh, well, there's nothing you can ever do to change the situation, ever" lines of thinking.

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swirl-kitt
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posted April 24, 2009 03:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for swirl-kitt     Edit/Delete Message
I'm a scorpio too and I'm editing my post Because I thought you wronged the guy or something..

We can't always judge people easily so anyone I don't have a really negative impression about is welcome to invite me over to hang out again, even after perhaps a really boring or awful meet up or date.

It's not that sign specific.. You don't have to take it too personally. People either like you or not sometimes..

It's all about whether he'll be up for it, or in the mood for what you have in mind for.

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Lucia23
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posted April 24, 2009 03:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
BTW, I didn't start this thread just to talk about one person or situation...I wanted to brainstorm, really, about what kinds of things tend to attract, excite, and win over different signs.

Sure, it involves some generalizations, but I like that kind of discussion. Linda Goodman's wonderful classics "Sun Signs" and "Love Signs" offer insight on a sign-by-sign basis.

Edited:

quote:
People either like you or not sometimes.

As an 8th house person, I love to analyze and brainstorm about people's deeper motivations, the reasons WHY they (or I) do or do not feel certain ways--not only when the situation personally connects to me. Lots of my professional research is on deep psychology. And my interest in astrology is about exploring WHY people feel the way they do, and also looking at ways to better understand human behavior based on signs, aspects and planetary influences.


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swirl-kitt
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posted April 24, 2009 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for swirl-kitt     Edit/Delete Message
And, in some cases, I fell in love with people later on during the friendship phase.
There was this one guy who kept flirting/hanging out with me for about 2 months, then suddenly, I had a !! omg, I'm in love with this guy !!
Could this thing really work ?? omg yes, yes of course, why not !! moment.

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Lucia23
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posted April 24, 2009 03:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
Swirl-kitt, as a Scorp, do you need lots of space when you're getting to know someone? Or do you like to be really intense and spend a LOT of time together right off the bat? Or does it depend on the person?

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PeaceAngel
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posted April 25, 2009 03:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message
I don't really understand how people can know each other for a long period and then become attracted later on. For me, there's either sparks or not - from the beginning. I think that sounds very Aries.

quote:
If your friend's fave ice cream is chocolate and yours isn't, buying her a chocolate ice cream isn't compromising yourself or being manipulative--it's just acknowledging who she is and what she loves.

Oh, totally agree. But I think if someone pretends to like chocolate ice cream when they don't, that's manipulating or compromising their truth, and that's what I meant by what I said.

I'm not a fatalist, but I think I am a realist and if things show, especially, from the very beginning that it's not right for you - I don't think that can be ignored. From what I've seen it's often those small things that people are willing to oversee at the beginning of a relationship that are the things that grate over time and put the final nails in the relationship coffin.

For me, attracting the right person by being honest about who I am is more important than doing what is necessary to attract one certain individual.

I'm not in a position to exercise this romantically, being married, but the same practice applies to friendships or any other relationships, for me. That's how I see it and feel about it.

EDIT: Personally, once someone is out with me, that's it - it's final - they will never come back in.

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Coffee
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posted April 25, 2009 03:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Coffee     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I had a
Yes you did and I will quote it!
quote:
!! omg, I'm in love with this guy !!
Could this thing really work ?? omg yes, yes of course, why not !! moment.

I would like to say I have not been there, but I do get you. That brought a smile to my face before I go for my morning snooze.

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