posted July 08, 2009 09:40 PM         

The mother I has was highly neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. Highly overbearing at times. We never bonded and life was hell with her. Emotional deprivation I guess and one would think a person with a cancer moon would be tight with their mom - not me. I just view what I got for mothering was a huge fat joke really.

posted July 08, 2009 11:21 PM         

I saw my mother as dramatic, boisterous, and with a big temper. She was at the same time attentive, caring, hard-working, spiritual, and could never stay in one place for long. I feel like I've had a good mother, but one who made a lot of bad decisions and put us in harms way because of it. I never once thought she didn't love me.

My moon is in 9th house Cap, oppose my Sun and Mercury in Cancer, square Pluto in Scorpio, sextile Jupiter in Pisces.

My mom is a Sagittarius with Jupiter conjunct her Sun in the 2nd house (not one, but three millionaires proposed to her.. she turned them all down!) and her sun squares her moon and conjuncts her mars. Our moon and venus signs are switched.

I don't want to be a mother because I'm afraid I will be terrible at it. I am not affectionate towards children generally. I'd probably be one of those mothers that indulges their children and fears the dreaded "I hate you!" that can come out of kids mouths. Though I do tend to make children feel physically secure (Cap moon here we go).

posted July 09, 2009 02:10 AM         

For example, I have moon in Sag conjunct Uranus and Jupiter.

My brother's moon is in Libra conjunct Pluto.

My mother was detached and not very 'nurturing', unconventional, and valued education greatly.At the same time she gave me plenty of freedom.

My brother's mother (according to him) is overbearing, controlling and 'terrible', by which he means emotionally explosive and never balanced.

Same woman - two drastically different interpretations of her. She is an Aqua sun cancer moon.

posted July 09, 2009 03:04 AM         

My mother isn't really a bad mother, she just doesn't really..."get it" most of the time. She's very, very loving...but I usually just feel like she isn't very bright. She just doesn't pick up on things too well, even when I tell her point blank. For instance, I haven't eaten pork since I was about 8 years old (I just absolutely hate the taste of all pork products for some reason), but my mother just never remembers no matter how many times I tell her. She's also just very clingy. Whenever I try to make a assert my independence a bit (ie, hang out with friends, read, go to college 700 miles away :P) my mother takes it as a personal attack against her. It makes it very difficult to work toward personal goals with always having to feel guilty about upsetting her with just about everything that I do. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but sometimes I just don't think she understands that I have ambitions outside of my working in a restaurant in my hometown for the rest of my life.

My mother also has a very mild form of schizoaffective disorder.

posted July 09, 2009 05:06 AM         

Your observations are pure brilliance!
In regards to the placements I listed - you are dead on.You are right, our composite charts with our mothers are indispensable, and offer much insight into our relationships with our mothers.

quote:

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"our idiosycratic interactive relationships with our mothers"?

---

I think this describes the interaction well.

I have been attentively following this thread,and you are expanding my mind and opening my eyes to so much when it comes to the female moon placement.

*gets back to listening attentively*

posted July 09, 2009 05:48 AM         

I think the mother/child bond in early years is the most important foundation and grounding for a child. All my kids were allowed to potty train when they wanted to, have no vaccinations and they all know where carrots come from

posted July 09, 2009 09:06 AM         

I find mine to be too conservative (towards me), narcissistic, passive aggressive, possessive even

on the other hand she is very supportive and dare I say did a fine job inputting my values and instructing me on developing my potentials.

posted July 09, 2009 09:52 AM         

I'm an 8th house Capricorn Moon, 0 orb square my Sun & Pluto, more loosely square my Mercury (dissociatively) & Saturn. My mother is an 8th house Aquarius Moon, also square her Sun, inconjunct her Ascendant, trine her Neptune, and 0 orb opposite her Pluto (Leo).

I truly love my mother. She's a secret bad-*ss and endlessly loving in a behind-the-scenes, slightly detatched, "let me provide everything for you and don't you dare thank me" kind of way. She's incredibly intelligent- she has a Masters in Education, and was the first person in her family to ever go to college. She chose to teach in a high-crime/high-risk city here, a job that most people would probably avoid. She LOVES the little bad boys, and really takes a lot of them under her wing. I even dated one of her "bad boys" years later! My mother and I's lives are very entwined that way, in that sometimes I feel that she lives vicariously through me.

My childhood was complicated due to my father. He's struggled all his life with authority and learning disabilities, had drug problems and was abusive. I wonder if they'll be a Father thread- his chart (and our synastry) is really interesting. This caused issues between my mother and I because I was always putting myself in the line of his fire to protect her/defend for her, but she always "chose him" over me. Typical story, I guess.

Now that I'm a mother myself, most of those old wounds are totally healed. She AND my father have both been invaluable to me as a single mom. I think being part of a family means forgiveness wherever possible- something my mother definitely instilled in me.

posted July 09, 2009 02:02 PM         

I also do not want children. I am well aware that people often relive their childhoods with their kids and the LAST thing I want to do is become a clingy, smothering mother. Because as far as I know, that IS the very definition of being a mother and there is no doubt in my mind that I'd act the same way to my very own. I am not doing this to someone else. (Then again, what with the Venus Saturn I probably wouldn't have hope of finding a man before my fertility was gone anyway, so this is probably good.) Femininity is hell to me. This is not to say that I am a "butch" personality, but I definitely fail at cooking, cleaning, wanting babies, and being a real woman.

posted July 09, 2009 03:05 PM         

Lets see..

I am a Pisces Moon in the 2nd or 3rd house depending on house systems. Moon trines Pluto in Scorpio in the 10th house and opposes Mars in Virgo in the 9th house, also it's opposite my Sun in the 8th house.

Now my mom is a Pisces Sun/Capricorn Moon/Aquarius Rising, I know she was born sometime around 4 AM, I lost her exact birth time because I was trying to "erase" her from my life. I know she has a second house stellium. She has this extreme need for security, she only cares about her money, her values, and her materilistic objects..as her daughter I play second fiddle. I am sure her Moon trines Mars, Saturn, and Pluto and conjucts the Asc.

I was suppose to be an abortion but she miscaculated, so I am basically here as a mistake in her eyes as much as annoyance and burden, she had me when she was eighteen.

Also my mom did not have a mother growing up, grandma died in a car accident when my mom was very young and grandpa, my mom's father started doing cocaine, so she never saw much of him..great grandmother was extremely strict and they never had enough money (my mom and her three sisters, all of them very materilistic), my mom's brother (my fave uncle) was adopted by a different family, abused sexually by a mentor..turned out gay and is now shunned, they use to be close but not anymore.

She became an alcoholic, has a strong temper, abusive, neglectful..now she sufferes from seizures can't drive herself or work anymore need people to take care of her but she is extremely paranoid.

The sad thing is there were times when my mom was really fun and funny but it never lasts long, especially when the cash flow was slow...

posted July 09, 2009 10:24 PM         

quote:

---

She is a Pisces moon (opposed to Saturn, on the descendant) and she is constantly needy and clingy. I feel like I am forced to be married to her. Having my own life is like gasping for breath in the pool while someone is trying to drag you down and kill you.

---

posted July 09, 2009 11:23 PM         

I do know that Mom is Scorpio sun, and she MUST have a Leo moon or ascendant, given her vanity & self-assurance (despite repeat failures) that she could wrap any man around her finger (though I'm sure she could've gotten much more of what she wanted if she didn't possess such a sense of superiority & vindictiveness--beauty goes only so far before the utter lack of charm ruins it).

My understanding is that she moved in with Dad just to have a place in Houston where she could pursue a modeling career. And she did until she got pregnant with me. Granny says that she tried marrying the photographer who was also owner (or some such) of the small agency that Mom found work with, and after he dumped her, she married Dad. At least that's how I think it happened, my understanding being what I can infer from things Mom, Dad, and Granny says. (There may be a chance that the photographer is my biological father. Not that I care as even when Mom said good things about him, he sounded like a total jerk to me.)

I often wonder what happened (besides astrologically) to make her so negative, and to see people (including me) as objects to manipulate coldly rather than as people. I have a pretty good idea about at least a little of it, but I don't feel comfortable talking about it.

Granny is Aries sun, and either has a Gemini or Aquarius moon (whichever one it's not is her ascendant). She and I remain close to this day, and she's acted as my mother for the first 4 years of my life (until Mom took me back mostly to spite Granny) and during part of Mom's divorcing Dad in my teens. She was very loving & protective of me, and Granny speaks of me in very positive terms to me and everyone else as far as I can tell. At least I see it that way, though some are amazed at the things she's let me do (as a lesser example of why some think otherwise, she got me a skateboard for my 14th b-day and let me skate unsupervised down long, thin country roads which has drunks, idiots, and bored redneck daredevils driving fast over it from time to time, and I often fell and landed in ditches filled with mites, fire ants, yellow jackets, & bull nettles...and the occasional water moccasin, though I lucked out by never landing on or near one of THOSE--at least not while skateboarding).

Oddly, my "unofficial mom" has a Scorpio moon (and many other planets), though a Libran sun. If that's connected to my being Libran on the Scorpio cusp, or my mom being Scorpio, I don't know. But given that she never had children (by willful choice), I have wondered if in the grand scheme of things if somehow I had to be born as I was in order to end up under her roof just before I turned 17 and had my life turned around by her (she also introduced me to books by Linda Goodman, btw).

As for me personally...

I don't know. I'm very good with kids, but I don't have the responsibility for caring for them 24/7. I've taken children to see the Hannah Montana movie several times and it always went well, but it was their parents (as opposed to me) who had to listen to "pop it, lock it, polka dot it," nonstop before & after. I can talk to them about almost anything, they seem to trust me, I'm not shocked by the ruder or vulgar things kids ask or say, nor shocked when they try something like climbing up on my back (even when I'm standing!). One mom told me that her daughter always had nightmares save the nights I babysat her, but she thought I wasn't doing her any good by checking under her bed & closet and letting her keep the door open while she fell asleep. Many agree I have a real talent for children, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'd be a good mom.

posted July 12, 2009 04:29 PM         

Up until very recently I felt very shortchanged and hurt by my parents' attitude towards me, as I was an only child and did not ask for much, but they didn't even bother with things like proper feeding, laundry and clothing when I was growing up - they did the bare minimum, which actually wasn't enough, and I received absolutely no financial or career help from them, not even a contribution to my wedding, whilst my father indulged himself with flash cars and horses, and my mother with wardrobes full of clothes she never wore.

I was definetely a "possession". My mother used to say, whenever I had any success, "Well, it's good to see I'VE done a good job!" However, if the opposite was true, woe betide me! I was my mother's "project" when I was a baby and she taught me to read very early. However, although I was two years younger than the oldest in my class, I was way behind in potty training and social skills, and was rejected for being vegetarian (my parents' views, not mine) and my mother just seemed to be oblivious to that sort of thing, she didn't respond to suggestions from teachers or anyone. She and my father were also psychologically and physically abusive to me - they were control freaks and both my schools picked up on the abuse, because it was obvious to anyone and everyone that there was something going on.

Now, I don't give a sh*t about my parents (as they quite clearly don't give a sh*t about me). I don't get annoyed about what they did or didn't do for me any more, as whatever happened to me pales in comparison to what some other people have been through. I figure they have only about 10-15 years' worth of life left in them (they are both in their late 60s), therefore they're not going to be around forever to be a thorn in my side, so I can't be bothered to argue any more.

Recently I underwent a psychological and spiritual transformation (aided by hypnotic tapes from the fantastic hypnotist Barrie Konicov) that helped me redefine my perspectives, set boundaries and new goals, and probably prevented me from committing suicide. Since I know that my parents are not going to be around for ever, I know that it is not right to expect THEM to still look after me. By the laws of nature, they have done their *stint* of parenting, they are moving towards the twilight of their lives. I think at one point (as my mother has no-one close living near her) my mother did suggest that I move back with her and look after her - I managed a bitchy, smiley, "Haha! No, sor-ry! I don't think I can do that, really!" - and I don't intend to, either!!

I have a very full 6th house (planets in Pisces, Asc in Virgo) but right now I am not expressing that at all, and I don't want to. I never want to be a mother, I don't even want to have a live-in relationship with anyone or be their wife or carer, because I just don't want to have to look after anyone (that's my ambition - to never be in the position where I have to look after anyone - ever! An attitude inherited from my parents? Who knows?) I figure I've done my stint of looking after people - firstly having to listen to all my mum's rubbish about my father and be a substitute parent, and then having to try and prop up my ex-husband! No thanks - I prefer to keep people a bit at arm's length and not get TOO deeply involved - enough to be satisfied, but not to the extent where it becomes a burden. Trying to get my career off the ground has been, up till now, continually punctuated with emotional stuff to do with my family, and I am sick of it. Life from now on is to do with ME and my desires - not co-dependency and continually trying to please other people - I'm not into that any more. For me, my career, building friendships and showing warmth of feeling is most important to me right now and I consider myself very lucky to live where I do, as there are plenty of things to do, places to go and a choice of people to meet.

I don't know what I shall feel when either one of my parents dies - my mum actually said a few months ago she couldn't care if I died. Sure, love you too, Mum! Sending bagfuls of indifference your way as I speak. I don't know why she is like this and frankly I don't care any more. She's not just like this to me, she's indifferent to other people as well. She doesn't like people - she once said "animals give you unconditional love" - yes, because they don't answer back, and can be controlled. She keeps her big Alsatian dog in her tiny kitchen MOST of the day - although she does take it for long walks, I still feel being cooped up in that small kitchen for most of the time can't be good for the animal's soul, and her garden's not that big, either. CRUELTY!!!!! Animals belong OUTSIDE - where they have plenty of space to roam (I don't want animals either, by the way).

In my experience I have observed that Sadge parents do tend to suck - usually deepseated mental problems, issues with control, grandiosity, being overbearing, unfulfillable expectations of children (for example, you only have to look at Beethoven - a wonderful composer but an absolutely hopeless father to his nephew Karl. Or look at Britney Spears!!). They are the absolute WORST parents because they don't really want to be tied down at all and subconsciously see a kid as an encumbrance that gets in the way of their pursuits - they are SO unbelievably arrogant. Aries parents do at least have some sense of responsibility, providing, family and also warmth of feeling which shines through on the subconscious level - it's more in touch with reality, you don't get the feeling of "feeling" with Sadge parents, everything is on the mental plane.

I have a Sadge cousin who is gay and she recently *married* another woman with kids so she could have an instant family as she was lonely. She also needed to form a civil partnership as she wanted IVF and you can't get it in her country without being *married* first. All well and good, you might say, but what about the effect on the KIDS? The other woman's kids apparently fight each other all the time (as they can't take it out on their parents/step-parents) and the little boy was quite obviously embarrassed in the wedding photos, he just wasn't looking into the camera, and apparently he was crying for his father for a very long time, as he was obviously missing a male role model. This is just another example of pure selfishness TYPICAL of the Sadge personality. I'm sorry to say I don't like them very much - all the ones I can think of seem to behave in the most STUPID manner - and GET AWAY with it (although not always - witness Mary Queen of Scots!!)

So yeah, the long and the short of this is that I don't like my mother. She apparently has no terrible aspects in her personal chart, and our composite chart does not look bad either, but we just don't get on - simple as that.

My MC - Gemini (Mother?)
My IC - Sadge (Father?)

Love,

Lyra

posted July 12, 2009 05:14 PM         

my daughter's 12th house moon echoes my pisces one, and it is hemmed into a t-sq with pluto/saturn on one end and venus the other...at the time she was born and for several of her first years, i was caught in a situation where my venusian issues were in conflict with control, limitation and possessiveness, funnily enough her saturn conj her father's asc and her venus his moon, basically the points that generated the (12th house) constrictions on me...so her interpretation describes how i found myself between a rock and a hard place during the breakup/makeup/breakup of my marriage...

i would say that both of us were quite close to our mothers, by the way. i'm just expressing dynamics, not emotions.