posted August 27, 2009 10:53 AM         

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Gah, if you don't want him on the rebound, why did you want him on the bound? I thought it was all so intense, passionate, etc that you guys couldn't do the kind thing (vis a vis his partner) and wait until he had ended, or opened, that other relationship?

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Gah back. Watch your tone, please. You're coming across as a tad judgemental. Perhaps I had a change of heart and decided I needed to make healthier choices. And it was intense and passionate. Still is. I still like him a lot. I would venture to say I was obsessed with him for awhile. I'm not entirely convinced he doesn't have that hold on me still BUT...I backed it up. And someone new came into focus. Kismet? Maybe. Maybe not.

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Are you asking him to wait for you while you see other guys and he "heals"? Or is he seeing other people too?

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No. He is free to do as he pleases, as am I. We are not in discussions about seeing each other right now, we are just neighbors and friends, trying to give each other some space. If I end up in a relationship, he will have to live with that, and I know he wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy too. If we both end up single and available a few months from now and end up in a place where we can pursue something with each other, that's cool too but it's not the goal.

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I'm having a LindaLand meltdown...people post about all these intense relationships/attractions they are having that are so huge and momentous they're wondering if it's true love or soulmates or whatever, and then a couple of months later, they're posting about someone new. WTF???

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Wait, so if I was still on here posting about this guy, you would be blasting me for still dealing with a guy who was in a relationship/that I stole from his ex and being all femme fatale, but by walking away, giving him some space, and finding myself interested in someone else (an AVAILABLE someone else) who I happened to have some cool synastry with, and posting about HIM, this confuses you? And others like me, who know they are the "obsessive" type and have managed to exorcise that side of themselves and find it easy to meet new people and move on...we confuse you?

Can't win...

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I think lots of times what happens is that the guy turns out not to be that committed/interested/gung-ho after all, and instead of just curling up into a ball of heartbreak, other women somehow manage to be open to some new guy. And men too, open to someone new. That fast!!!! Sometimes I wish I could do that.

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Sigh. I was actually ****** off at you throughout the majority of my response during this post, but then I read this again, and now I'm not anymore, because I sympathize. I used to be this way. I have Venus in Scorpio after all. You have seen my chart. We have talked before, I think, about some of our similarities. It often takes me a looooooong time to get over people. I am haunted by my loves. But then I decided that the best way to get over someone is to put myself out there and try to meet someone new. No matter how much I don't want to. And sometimes, I just don't want to. Sometimes brooding and wallowing just feels good.

So you can do it. You have to make yourself. Force yourself to go on dates, to smile, to laugh, to enjoy the courtship of suitors that you have absolutely no interest in until one day you realize that your fake laughter is actually genuine. That's when you know you're over him.

posted August 27, 2009 12:36 PM         

And maybe laying off the judgmental rants on LindaLand should be part of that. :/

Starr, the difference is that the suitors I wasn't actually interested in when I was a teen/young adult were gorgeous, witty, open-minded, open-hearted, fun, sexy, travel-loving, talented, cool...I would leap into bed with any one of them now (I mean as they were then)...the reason I was not interested is just that I had a wilder, more immediate attraction to others.

posted August 27, 2009 04:12 PM         

If you are sure that these guys are just dull as dirt and that it's not a flawed perspective on your part, then you need to work on the caliber of men you are meeting, which is outside of the scope of an astrology board

The most important thing is to concentrate on attracting abundance, maximizing exposure to eligibles, and being the best Lucia you can be. I had to learn (and am still learning) that last one the hard way.