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Author Topic:   Weak sense of Womanhood
Cynnared
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posted September 06, 2009 12:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cynnared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For a few months now I have been gloomy about this. I have been so tom boyish for the longest time and I haven't seen much of my feminine self. All I have are jeans and t shirts. I am very close to my masculine side and I am a strong person......but something is missing.

Growing up, all I saw with my mother is a weak beaten up lady who stayed in a relationship that was hazardous to one's health...

I have not really embraced womanhood.....One reason why I could not get into breastfeeding and from what I hear it's like the ultimate womanhood thing...

I just wonder what in my chart shows this.....is it having Sun in Aries? Is it a combo of Ascendent, Sun and MC in masculine signs?

What do you think? and I just wonder just how a tomboy can embrace being a woman.....

But then thinking....I have a moon in cancer in the 2/3 rd house and a venus in pisces.....I would imagine those placements to be feminine but I don't feel that way.....

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starkiss1
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posted September 06, 2009 06:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for bringing it up. I have virgo/sun, pisces/asc, and venus/libra and i am a tomboy. Where is your mars? I love being a boyish woman though, don't you?

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lionseye***
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From: edmonton, ab. ca
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posted September 06, 2009 06:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lionseye***     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cynnared, don't beat yourself up about it. You are who you are, and that's ok. I've known a few Aries ladies over the years who really don't feel the nurturing instinct on a gut level, even if they're going through the motions like a seasoned pro. I once read that Aries tends to relate better to their kid(s) when they reach adolecence and beyond. Then, it's like "I gave you the tools to fend for yourself, and now you're awesome!" - big pride. Children of Aries parents are usually quite independant and self assured.
As for being womanly, well it encompasses so much - the whole gammet. Fire signs are not typically the demure type anyway. Just make every effort to be kind to others while living in a way that feels true to you and you won't have any regrets. If you want to play dress up and be girly from time to time, it probably going to feel odd, but a fun departure from what you're use to.

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starkiss1
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posted September 06, 2009 06:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And i don't wear dresses, i feel uncomfortable in them, so jeans and smart heels for me! Love it

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winter
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From: Australia
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posted September 06, 2009 09:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for winter     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Just make every effort to be kind to others while living in a way that feels true to you and you won't have any regrets.

Simply beautiful.

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blue moon
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posted September 06, 2009 11:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Though I breastfed my kids because that worked for me and suited me fine, I was nearly put off by fanatical advocates who try and enforce their point of view with fictious arguments such as how fantastic it is for your figure and such. Maybe the ultimate in womanhood experience is another one they throw out, it sounds like the kind of thing. Can't say I agree, it serves a practical function, it's not about making yourself feel good or womanly.

As for astrology, a strong Mars might give you the kind of confident and assertive personality that gets you tagged as unfeminine. Aspects to your Ascendant might give you the biggest clue as to how you are seen by others.

There might also be some transiting or Solar Arc activity to the Ascendant or Venus. That pretty much goes with just having had a baby, as well. Maybe it's all tied in together.

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Cynnared
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posted September 06, 2009 12:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cynnared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Mars in Capricorn in the 8th house. Mars is in a T square with my Sun (Aries) and Uranus (Libra). Yup, I have a strong mars....I feel like a cappy at times too.

Being tomboyish doesn't seem appealing to me any more.....I know who and what I am but I'm feeling a need for a change....to reinvent myself.

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katatonic
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posted September 06, 2009 12:29 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
go for it! the change i mean. but don't adhere to feminine stereotypes - or astrological ones either! my mother was an aries who couldn't breast feed very well though she tried.

my daughter is an aries and breastfed for about 2 years! as did an aries friend - who nursed all her kids for 27 months and they are exactly 3 years apart...she used it as family planning too! which didn't work for me at all, i got pregnant while nursing!

what you wear has nothing to do with your femininity any more. who you are has everything to do with it. i am sure you nurture your children just fine in the best way you know how.

it might be good to examine your feelings about your mother and the situation she put up with, though...it seems obvious you have NOT put up with same, and it may be keeping you in the past which interferes with the present big time...maybe that is part of the change you need to make.

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BlueTopaz124
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From: Portland, OR, USA
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posted September 06, 2009 12:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Some people just cannot breastfeed...either they don't produce enough milk or for some reason just can't.

From a physiological aspect, it's what we are able to do because we are women. For some women (emphasis on 'some'), they identify this as the ultimate in womanhood and is how they see it. It has nothing to do with a woman's actual femininity.

Take a look at who is sending you these strong messages, as this is what they believe in.

Womanhood is also about nurturing and caring (but men can do this too, my very masculine Taurus father was a very good example and he was good at nurturing me..my mother was a Pisces but not exactly the nurturing type of woman) and showing a vulnerable side. A person in jeans and t-shirts can be nurturing.

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Cynnared
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posted September 06, 2009 01:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cynnared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I never thought I'd be happy being the housewife type of woman and staying at home. Over the past few years I soooooooooo wanted out of the house and be working. Now I'm at home with the baby while my boyfriend goes to work. Actually I don't mind being at home and feel more at ease with it. The baby sleeps every 3 hours and I quite enjoy having her around.

My oldest girl is a major tomboy at 7 and it just drives me around the bend. It's like I have a little boy instead. When she was younger I used to pout her in dresses etc then her father would come and put boyish stuff on her. I think it would break my heart if the baby turned out to be a tomboy.....I would just love to have a little princess that I can dress up nicely. Put bows in her hair and put cute little outfits on etc.......

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blue moon
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posted September 06, 2009 01:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Snap for the Sun/Mars/Uranus combo. Except mine is a Grand Trine. I also have a Mars T-Square with different players.

I don't own a pair of jeans.

Maybe go over on LL2 and do a makeover thread. c.e.w is good on fashion. Especially shoes. I've asked her stuff.

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comica23
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posted September 06, 2009 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmm do you find it hard to accept your mom's weak side? Do you find it hard to accept feeling vulnerability?

Or maybe you just prefer to be stronger and more with your masculine side?

I think that a woman doesn't have to act like a woman in order to be feminine, but no matter what, no matter how manly is a woman, she will always be a woman deep inside. ^_~

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Cynnared
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posted September 06, 2009 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cynnared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe it was watching my mom get seriously abused and beaten while I was growing up. She is now in a highly abusive relationship/marriage with a man who had banned me from their lives for good. She is his wife and not my mother idea....but then there has always been extreme conflict between him and I since he entered her life. He wanted to get rid of me from the get go. He must have total control of her and domination....he would never allow my mother to be there for me whatsoever and that HIS children needed a mother and she was it.

I am a trained stand up comic and we have to show our vulnerable side on stage....I find this highly challenging to do....even opening up to friends when I need help and people there for me...but then how I was raised, I was forced to deal with things on my own and behave like an island.....I would get a lot of grief from my parents whenever I asked for help and then punished. If I had any problem, my parents would tear a strip out of me verbally.....this never taught me about problem solving and I never learned that if a person makes a mistake or fails, then a lesson is learned.

I am a sensitive person and growing up I would be badly punished for being sensitive and at school I would be ridiculed and made fun of for that. I learned to keep a poker face and not show and feelings...

Maybe it's the Saturn in the 12th square to my MC aspect.....hard to reach out and form emotional bonds cause my home life growing up was not like that.....

Yeah I have refused to walk down a similar road that my biological mother went down.

For the longest time I hung out with the guys and thought I was one of them cause I thought by doing that it was easier to deal with life instead of having to do with my emotions and being a woman...ah I'm not sure, it's all speculation of it.

Sometimes I feel my masculine side come out around other women to be a protector etc....it's strange. Maybe it's the Sun in Aries trait....when the men are away they can fit into a man's role easy and do the tasks.....

my thoughts any how....or just me rambling on now......

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amowls*
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posted September 06, 2009 03:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What IS being a woman? Just because you wear jeans and tshirts all the time does not make you not a woman. Don't look at womanhood through such a narrow lens. Most women in fact do not act completely feminine. This is normal and it's good.

It's not about masculine vs feminine, it's about acknowledging your emotions vs ignoring them. Most emotionally mature human beings know how to be in touch with their emotional side. This does not make them feminine. It makes them whole. And being a protector isn't necessarily a "male" trait. Some would call it "nurturing" which is often thought of as "feminine."

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Dervish
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posted September 07, 2009 12:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dervish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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