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Author
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Topic: Why is it that everytime I help someone I get stuck with "the bill" ?
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katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 24, 2009 08:28 PM
 
when i help or give something to someone, i do it because i want to. OFTEN the return comes from someone completely different. but it always comes. the people you gave to may not have any way of repaying you - now, or ever. but you may need help when someone else is able to give it to you.i used to have the same frustration, but *** -for-tat has never worked in my life. once i realized that the return came from somewhere else it was also much easier to give just for the sake of it. but whatever you think of the course, helping people cheat will probably come back to you as ... being cheated in some way! so maybe you are getting your payback direct from the school. edit: i do NOT believe the machine just censored that completely innocent phrase! IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares
Knowflake Posts: 469
From: No Permanent Address
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 25, 2009 02:21 AM
I like LuvinU's example (ship and captain). IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1468
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 25, 2009 06:44 AM
good point kat. thats how i try to look at it too. if i make sure people eat, then someday when i am older and maybe not have a lot, i will be sure to be provided for too.do good and rigiht and nothing can come to you but good and right.
do wrong and you can pretty much expect wrong to come back to you. i try to tell my kids that. IP: Logged |
evander
Knowflake Posts: 127
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 25, 2009 03:20 PM
@pire : thank you. i definitely see what you mean  @Glaucus, thank you for pointing out that meaning of the Mars/Neptune square I have. I'm actually consciously trying to be more Piscean NNish then SNish, especially lately. I really do want to help completely selflessly , but I try not to be a martyr. Martyr I may agree to be in some special cases, but a victim never  @Deptaurus, I see your point but that's not the case with my friends. I am quite sharp and a bit eccentric so it's an understanding relationship with most of my friends. (the whole aquarian 11th house thing going on) @LuvinU Thnx! That's exactly the kind of insight I needed. As far as boundaries go, I might have too much of them which is exactly why I don't hold my friends copying of me against. Perhaps an overcompensation for all the hoops I make them go through to be close to me.
quote:
There is a method to your madness and your happiness - if you allow for it.
I always say that. I like the call it my own harmony of chaos. @katatonic I never help so it comes back to me. I believe in the randomness of life. And helping a friend is a reward on it's own for me. I'm just frustrated that lately helping others comes with some personal bad circumstances. As far as an update on this whole situation, I argued my way into passing without compromising the said friends grade. As for other cases , only time will tell. But I sure will pay attention to all the suggestions from everyone. Thanks everyone IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 25, 2009 05:04 PM
sorry evander, i did NOT mean to imply you only give to get!! you are too sweet for that...i just meant to say that the return is often not obvious, but it does come...i used to feel hard done by sometimes when i put energy into being generous and the people on the receiving end seemed to feel no desire to return the favour. so i was talking about a common habit we fall into, and why it sometimes feels like you get kicked in the face for giving...not your own motivation.but i can't agree that life is "random"... IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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