posted September 24, 2009 08:44 PM         

He also noted that he has become friendly with one of the women, which kind of bothers me. However, what really bothers me, is that he confessed 3 of his 8 girlfriends have been strippers that he steered to a better life.

Including his last girlfriend that broke his heart and delayed our commitment, because he had to get over her and she is a mess. When he used to remark how put together I am, I took it as a compliment - perhaps I should not have, lol.

Anyway, he thinks telling me this has changed my opinion of him and is why he kept it from me, which it probably has, but I am thinking he has a rescuer complex of some kind that attracts him to troubled women.

Can someone give me clues about what to look for in a natal chart that points to an inclination to rescue?

posted September 24, 2009 09:20 PM         

Thank you, Amowls!
I'll look into that as well.
He does give a lot to causes and also rescued his dogs as stray puppies, lol.

posted September 24, 2009 09:49 PM         

I know Virgo often likes to be, or play, the martyr, but I though the earth in his chart would make him more practical. With 6 of his 8 girlfriends being troubled in some manner, you would think he would not find another to help so quickly after the last. Which I was completely unaware of until a few hours ago.

Perhaps I, as a Taarus just can't do needy. Or, needy enough to make him feel like he's making a difference.

posted September 24, 2009 10:08 PM         

yea, agreeing with others, in his chart its pretty obvious the potential. h7 ruler neptune in h3, h3 is what you go about meeting in your everyday life, this is just how he likes to relate to people, neptune is connected to his social houses 3 and 7. so it'll seem very natural to him to keep encountering people who he wants to save or who want to save him.

neptunes opp venus in h9, so this has possibly become some sort of romantic philosophy (h9) for him. venus is trine that angular pluto so again reforming related to romantic relationships.

venus is also ruling h9 and h2, of self worth, so im guessing that in helping these people find what he thinks is higher ground he's affirming his sense of self worth.

posted September 25, 2009 04:16 AM         

You know, I had sworn off looking at charts of the people I date (if you look back to my 2003-04 posts you'll see why ), but as I find myself really feeling close to my current BF, I had to explore some themes and I am glad I did (He agrees he has this trait).

Sometimes I forget how interesting the study of Astrology can be when thinking about the possibilities of how an aspect can express itself.

posted September 25, 2009 05:07 AM         

There's this guy who has Venus(Virgo)-Neptune(Sagittarius) square natally and he always falls for damsels in distress. We had a double whammy Venus-Neptune thingie in our synastry so when we first met it was all soulmatey sparks.

In hindsight, I can say that our thing didn't take off because after a few months of knowing each other he must have felt that I needed no rescuing. I later found out through further research into people's personality types that he is one of those guys that sort of get turned on only if the woman has "problems". Unfortunately for him, I've got problems but I know how to handle them without the aid of a man.

posted September 25, 2009 05:34 AM         

He chose to see someone who needs rescuing, but that person might have chosen a way to make money that suits them better than a call centre or counter of the High Street shop. Their wages will have been better, like as not.

I could think of a real life Venus/Neptune example involving the sign Virgo that fits this shoe with little effort. Virgo/Pisces can lean towards Martyrdom on a bad day.

But Venus/Neptune is no different from other stressful aspects - as we get older we can learn to channel the energies in a more productive manner. On his chart it makes a wedge with Pluto, so he does have way out that makes it possible for him to do this, and maybe, he has learned from past mistakes.

posted September 25, 2009 06:54 AM         

You have to wonder what his mother was like in her younger years. Did he protect her or a female when he was a child? If so then rescuer complex, otherwise, I would see red warning lights if I were you.

Yes virgo pisces add in cool Aqua and you've got a bit of the bad boy.

12th house pluto - is subconsciously drawn to people with issues that he has not or can not deal with.

Mars in Sag seeks adventure excitement.

Cancer sun wants to take care of/help people.

Chiron in 7th healing takes place through relationships with others. With pluto in 12th it's as if rather than do therapy and directly confront issues he is having. He keeps putting himself in the situation over and over.

Saturn in the 8th is interesting.

Just keep in mind most strippers just want his money.

posted September 25, 2009 10:13 AM         

I noted Chiron as well, which I thought expressed itself through his desire to help others realize their potential (he's a great "cheerleader", which is what we call him) and be the guy that introduces partners to new experiences. Maybe not.

Blue Moon,
It is definitely a rescue complex - he saves puppies, involves his friends who need jobs with contracts from his firm and if family or friends need anything, he's known as the go to guy - but I do not deny the Virgo martyr angle either.

aka Kat

He likes to help others and it does lead to a commitment of sorts, as the people he rescues continue of then look to him for direction.

His family is male heavy, only mom, grand ma, great gran and sis in laws, the rest are men. He is a momma's boy and, if anything, she is protective over her sons.

Nice note you and Lonake have regarding pluto! I think the pluto aspects in his charts makes him want to remodel people/things and the 12th house just sort of veils the intent, which may be to have a guiding/fatherly role in others' lives.

Regarding the strippers wanting his money -
While I do not deny that is true initially, I should point out that he does build relationships with these women that then doesn't involve money.

His Cancer sun with the pluto and aquarian energies makes him extremely intuitive, and women, including myself, feel that he understands us deeply. Not saying feeling understood overrules the desire for money, but the women he has built relationships with value him more for that than the money, which, as Lonake noted, is there.

Also, of the 8 other women he's dated, I'm #9, only 3 have been strippers, but 7 of 8 were troubled and became his projects - he put one through college (through grad school! 2nd guy I've known who did that, the other was a double Virgo - why they're not paying for my grad school, I have no idea ). None of the ladies who were strippers are any longer.

posted September 25, 2009 05:11 PM         

I feel your pain, lol.

My BF and I have mutual Sun conjunct Venus, just a few degrees from the natal positions. This includes a mutual Sun conjunct Saturn, which I view as a learning experience over a sign of permanency.

His Sun is also conjunct my Ascendant, so I think he felt that connection before I did, but I caught up.

Diana,

posted September 26, 2009 06:28 PM         

Like your guy, I have Chiron in the 7th, Pluto in the 12th, and a strong Neptune (mine's cnj Sun and trine Moon). Pisces is my SN and his NN, he has an Aqua Moon - I have Aqua on the IC and Uranus square Moon. He has Pluto cnj the ASC and I have a Sco Asc. There's more, but enough boring details!

I think I understand where he's coming from, although those influences play out differently for us. I don't have a rescuer complex romantically (it's more diffuse than that ), but I do feel that healing is something that goes along with being in love. (I also have Chiron = Venus/Mars. He has Chiron at the apex of a tsquare with Sun and Juno.) I suppose you could say that I look for a partner to rescue me, but it's more complex than that. There's a certain part of my psyche that I want romantic relationships to touch; sounds like he wants the same place touched.

For a connection to seem like "true love" to me, the partner has to be someone who I can share the broken parts of myself with. There needs to be an element of support and compassion, an "I'm here to help you through this" type of connection. If he can't live in that space, he's not the man for me. In turn, I immerse my partner into a part of himself he may not have experienced yet, the place where emotion is raw and aching for something sublime and profoundly real. Let's see colors that have never been seen. Let's go to places no one else has been.** Fair trade? So I guess you could say that I look for a partner to rescue me from my past and to help me grow despite scars, and in turn I rescue my partner from the mundane.

I don't think you need to be weak or a mess to attract him. But is there any part of you that needs some care? Is there any place inside you that you can show him where it hurts? I think it's through the healing process that he feels in tune with a loving existence.

posted September 26, 2009 07:44 PM         

Sorry about being so late in my response, it's been quite a week!