posted October 02, 2009 11:02 PM         

Actually, i kicked him and left the party. I was so hurt by his insensitivity. I mean he was leaning into her and was so close to her, like he was about to kiss her - and he had that LOOK!

posted October 04, 2009 10:59 AM         

i admit i get jealous and possessive as well. towards family members. towards guys. but it's only if those people were closest to me/most important to me. everyday people, i could care less. yes i've had feelings of abandonment or that i would be replaced so that's what triggers those negative feelings.

in terms of acting out on it or displaying it, i can act alarmingly loof. how i've downsized my feelings of jealousy or possessiveness or what have you is that throughout the years i've become very detached with people in general. it's as if i've gone in the opposite direction of what i used to be.

rather than always being there and feeling like i need people, it's like i've spread myself out to a whole bunch of people and sort of vanished. i keep myself busy with my own things and just don't get attached or involved fully with people anymore. i'm going through an extreme emotional avoidance, i only care about me phase right now. it's like i worked hard to be really open and available and now i've closed up and become private again.

i find it's only when i focus on me and have tunnel vision that i don't feel any jealousy or possessivness. also, i try to be logical and remind myself that i can only do what i can do and control what i do on my end.

posted October 04, 2009 10:47 PM         

After we broke up and I got back with my ex, Aquaman got obsessed with me and spent a couple of years devising elaborate plots to split us up.

posted October 04, 2009 11:34 PM         

~Sometimes the idea of my man having sex with another woman he's attracted to turns me on.
~Sometimes I think even the reality of that would turn me on.
~Then at other times, he could flirt with someone just a little too much when I'm not in the mood for that sh1t, and I say in a rage, "I don't want you anymore. I'm going to find someone else." Embarrassingly, that was verbatim!

So I don't know.

My Sag Sun and Moon-Uranus square are probably what contribute to me seeing value in sexual and emotional freedom. Then many other parts prefer strict monogamy. (Like my Leo Moon, Sco Asc, and Pluto on my Sun/Moon & Venus/Juno mp's.) Combined, they make me prefer monogamy while generally having a laid-back attitude toward flirting. I know I'm loyal, so I can trust myself to appreciate the bond I have with various people without feeling a need to make it sexual.

Overall, I'm not that jealous. I recognize that we fall in various levels of love (and lust) with other people all the time. I don't resent that or wish that life was different in that way. I do, however, need to know that I'm number one with my partner, and that he's number one with me. The attraction (in any way) to others isn't a threat to that bond, unless it reaches as deep and is as compulsive. In that case, I'd say, go live your life and explore that, but we're not a couple anymore. Anything short of that doesn't bother me. (Usually. )

My SO is a Taurus. He's generally not jealous in an unreasonable way. In the beginning of our relationship, jealousy on both our parts caused some heavy fights, but we've progressed. In our Comp we have a 2nd house Sun, and I think developing that sense of security and trust has been a purpose of our relationship. I can say with certainty though that he would never, ever be into the idea of me being with another guy.

posted October 05, 2009 02:52 AM         

But I'm starting to learn that, except for married couples, people are free to like other people, and flirt with other people.. And that I would like to do this as well !

I'm so un-evolved that I even get jealous BEFORE I start dating with someone ! It's because even before dating, I'll already have made up my mind about 'serving' this person and my level of dedication is so high that in my mind there is no way my partner will be left feeling dissatisfied after we get together.

But I usually have more than 1 person on my mind too, or that I would like to flirt with, so.. I try reminding me of that.

I really need to stop thinking that people can actually read my thoughts and stop worrying about why they don't feel the vibes I'm sending.

btw I have cancer asc, scorpio sun, aries moon, virgo mars, libra venus

posted October 05, 2009 07:00 PM         

I think in addition to Uranus, it's our Leo and Neptune influences. (I remember you said you have Neptune in the 7th and Leo on the 5th. I have a Leo Moon trine Neptune.)

I used to be extremely sexually possessive. I even resented that he'd had sex before me. Not that I wanted him to be a virgin, I just couldn't stand the thought of him wanting someone else sexually, and being with her. I don't know why I was even torturing myself with those thoughts, but I did.

It's only this year that I've felt a real shift in that regard. And I think it has to do with the Neptune transit (opp my Moon) I've been experiencing for a while.

posted October 05, 2009 10:56 PM         

I like your way of putting it though - 'Am I not merciful?' LOL. Being all magnanimous and indulgent is something which would work for me.... and yeah, I could totally relate to the whole thing with him even being sexual with another. The thought of it drives me bonkers. It's very much about Me being the FIRST for every mind-blowing experience... oh so unrealistic but well, there it is
Oddly, I get the same thing with the man I am seeing now. He seems just as jealous as I am, but like me I feel he tries to hide it. Even my suggesting a restaurant I'd been to a few weeks ago was met with a very abrupt (uncharacteristically frosty), Oh, when did you go? Oh really. WHO did you go with.
And this pained, almost constipated look on his face if the subject of an ex shows up. Yeah, he's got Neptune on the 7th as well as Scorpio on the 7th house cusp like me, plus all this Taurus. Idealism and possessiveness..it's a hobby! It's an obsession!

Still, it's somewhat a relief to be with someone else who 'gets' it and gets the same feelings.

posted October 06, 2009 07:31 PM         

...like you, I would bug out entirely at that Hello Lover.

Oh no! Now I'm getting paranoid again! Time to call in my Saturn to calm my Mercury down.

Being all magnanimous and indulgent is something which would work for me

You sure you're not a Sag/Leo too?

It's very much about Me being the FIRST for every mind-blowing experience... oh so unrealistic but well, there it is

Haha, I know what you mean. I need to believe I'm the best he's ever had. He can even lie about it, I don't mind, as long as he puts on a convincing show. Yeah, I mind. But really, I have chilled out so much on this issue. I feel like a different person. Strange how much transits can change us.

Still, it's somewhat a relief to be with someone else who 'gets' it and gets the same feelings.

Also, I think that bond makes it easier to see how you're needlessly torturing yourself with jealousy. Seeing my SO be tormented with jealousy when I knew he had no reason to be, made me more determined to let go of those emotions in myself as well. My compassion for him increased my compassion for myself. But like I said, my outlook didn't fundamentally change until the Neptune transit. Intellectually I knew it would be right to be less possessive, but actually being that way hasn't felt right and natural until now. I do still get jealous sometimes, but it's not nearly on the same level.