posted October 26, 2009 09:48 AM         

I just recently did a BIG NO NO ... Lucia everything you wrote with winning back a Gemini I did the exact opposite of!

It's a fairly complex situation and is now completely messy (and I would say at this point, unsalvagable) and I am very upset by this, considering I caused half of it.

posted October 26, 2009 10:16 AM         

He's on the outside.

My name asteroid is in Pink, his name asteroid is in Orange.

Funny how my name asteroid links both our Junos.

Yup Saturn Square Saturn
Saturn square Venus

I feel those! (my poor Venus! lol)

But then.. my Pluto opposes his Mars/Venus conjunction exact. ergh. Also my Venus quincunx his Pluto within a degree.

But well there ARE some good aspects too. Sun conj Mercury, Mercury conjunct Venus/Mars conjunction, Valetine conj. IC double whammy (we really had the same family values! Which I haven't seen anywhere else!) Valentine conj. Sun etc. etc.

posted October 26, 2009 11:04 AM         

Maybe you're meant to be with somebody else that you have a soul relationship contract with.

Raymond

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted October 26, 2009 11:07 AM         

It was a hard decision, but I discussed it with my best friend who was in a similar position a few years ago and she thought it would be a good idea to let her know - if your boyfriend/girlfriend was cheating on you, wouldn't you want to know? So that's the position I was coming from.

I expected her to tell him, and I expected him to be annoyed (but not as annoyed as he got... as he knows that every word I wrote was the truth. It was only short though, but to the point). I also (wrongly) assumed that she would contact me if she thought I was out of line. I've never had contact with her before, despite her being present throughout our relationship - as she was a friend of his. (The only friend I didn't meet). I guess it was a gamble, but I didn't realise that he'd given his friends, well her, the impression that I was some obsessed ex, when he was the one trying to continue the relationship (which I reciprocated because I love him still).

I don't know why I want him back. We had a very strong bond. Hate what he did. Love him to bits otherwise.
Very hurt by what he did.
I've never been in this situation before. My head tells me it's wrong. I should move on and never look back and wish them a happy life.
My heart ... still hangs on. I don't know why. I have let go much more easily with people I have spent several years with.

posted October 26, 2009 11:26 AM         

They don't like commitment, unless .. well I'm not sure. Obviously Gems get married but I wouldn't know how anyone can stay with one for so long - completely baffles me. I never once tried to get him to do something he didn't want to, we broke up two weeks before our first holiday together .. he was a bit scared to spend 20 days with me.. don't know why cos I'm heaps of fun lol and we just joke and laugh a lot. Commitment isn't their strong suit that's for sure. 3 - 6 months.. well by then there's no point really... I'm not getting any younger and by then (like Librans?) I guess it's 'out of sight, out of mind' ???

posted October 26, 2009 11:36 AM         

Don't focus on the potential, focus on the concrete facts that have actually taken place. And don't make up excuses on his behalf.

I would suggest you write the letter but don't send it. Do it just to let out stress. Don't think that you were out of line. It's not like you're the one who hurt him in the first place. It is more difficult to let go if you are in that frame of mind. Always remember, your love for yourself should be bigger than your love for a man.

Plenty more fish in the ocean, different sizes and shapes.

posted October 26, 2009 12:02 PM         

You hit the nail on the head ... making up excuses on his behalf. Yup.. guilty as charged. Gotta watch that!

It'll make me feel better writing a letter. I used to write my thoughts in a journal before, years ago, until my last BF before this one hassled me to stop writing notes and letters and in journals, so I got out of the habit of writing (without it getting to other people).

I wish I could take back the note I wrote this girl... I mean I'm glad that she knows, but unfortunately I don't think she believes me. I guess that's her decision to make though, she's got the info, what she does with it is up to her. I wish it hadn't ended things completely between me and my Gem but in a way I was hoping it would so I could stop being hurt by him. Colour me confused!
Venus opposite Saturn (exact) doesn't help me love myself, but I am trying X)

Definitely plenty more fish in the sea, just need to get my flippers on a have a swim!

posted October 26, 2009 12:07 PM         

rose quartz.

I have a rose quartz Mandarin Ducks on Lotus Leaf.

Yesterday, I bought my mom a rose quartz necklace at the Reno Psychic Fair.

Rose Quartz is said to bring in love. It can help with self-love which can lead to bringing in love from others. That can lead to harmonious romantic love relationships.

I have Venus contraparallel Saturn in declinations myself with corresponding Venus oppose Saturn in declination longitude equivalent chart. I also have Moon in 7th square Saturn.

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted October 26, 2009 12:21 PM         

I just found some rose quartz on my window sill in my study yesterday, as I am moving and cleaning out everything. It was hidden behind the curtains. I'd say that's a bad thing because it would have been there for a year and not cleaned at all! I moved all my stuff (including my rocks ) to the new place. Apparently crystals that aren't looked after can give off negative energy as well.

posted October 26, 2009 12:32 PM         

Now I don't know the story of what happened between you two. However, if he did something like cheat on you, do not go back to him. If you do, he will simply just mess with you until he finds someone that fits him better.

posted October 26, 2009 12:38 PM         

but

she has Ascendant,Mercury,Venus,Jupiter,Uranus,and South Lunar Node in Cancer

Moon and Saturn in Scorpio

even her Sun in 12th is trine Neptune and sextile/parallel Pluto. so her Sun aspects both outer planets that are the modern rulers of the watersigns, Pisces and Scorpio.

far away from being the typical Gemini

she is so emotional,sensitive.....too much so. She easily wears her emotions on her sleeves. She is easily affected by the emotions of others too. She can be very domestic,loved to cook and clean house. Security matters a great deal to her. She can be very committed to a partner.

my t-square of apex Moon in Pisces square the opposition of Saturn in Gemini in 10th and the conjunction of Pisces co-rulers, Jupiter-Neptune in Sagittarius in 4th indicates experiencing my mother as somebody who was overly sensitive,emotional to the point of great dysfunction,physical/mental illness.

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted October 26, 2009 12:41 PM         

Or if you feel that a resolution has already been delivered say this:

"I am calling on Divine Love to heal my heart and help me move on fast. I'm calling on Divine Love to make my heart understand that whatever is happening is for my best and highest good."

posted October 26, 2009 12:58 PM         

I didn't read your post before it was edited...but I still think my advice on the other thread is good.

The main thing not to do with a Gemini is add complications, heaviness, and emotional weight, and it sounds like you already crossed that line enough that PROBABLY it's over....BUT, if you want any chance at all, STOP DOING THAT NOW!

It really sounds like you're still doing all the wrong things, like obsessing on an astrology site, planning two weeks ahead to send him a careful note...a right match for a Gem is someone who genuinely does NOT THINK THAT WAY--who would never write some other girl on his behalf because she's waaaayyyy too busy doing an intense piece of photojournalism in a war zone, starring in a play, giving a lecture series on "the future of technology" in Rome.

If the right girl for a Gem thought he might be cheating, she'd move on, bored--and HE would be the one who'd have to try to win her back.

Any chance to win the Gem back involves taking your head and your heart waaaayyy out of his emotional business and living a fabulous and glittery life.

Note that my first suggestion on that other thread was to disappear for forty days (Popcorn says 3-6 months and maybe that's even better)...but it's not just the disappearing. To attract an air sign, you need to not only demonstrate that you are very independent and your life is fascinating--it should also actually be true.

quote:

---

Win back a Gemini man:
-disappear for 40 days or so
-come back happy and fascinating, with a new entourage of exciting, sparkly friends who you are VERY BUSY WITH
-when you see the Gem, be genuinely happy to see him but not too interested...give him a friendly greeting, then rush off happily with your new friends
-exhibit the emotional range of a golden retriever (happy and cheerful, happy and cheerful, happy and cheerful)...never, ever reveal that the Gemini hurt you...this isn't because they are insensitive, just that heavy emotions make them uncomfortable
-when he starts sniffing around again, calling you, texting, etc, be very happy but very busy...reject any invitations to hang out alone with him, but counterinvite him to hang out with the new, sparkling, busy friends ("I can't tonight--I'm going to the screening of Rolf's new documentary. Hey! You should come if you want!")
-when he falls back in love and tries to kiss you, etc, go for it but STAY BUSY with the sparkling new friends and cool intellectual projects...when he tries to talk about your relationship, deflect it and talk about something lighter (mention how you are having fun with him, at most)...and never talk about the relationship yourself...never try to label things between you.

---

It is not too late to start actually having a life rather than obsessing about him to the point of contacting other people in his life.

Even if your obsessing over him is in secret, people can sense that energy--and Gem men HATE all that psycho heaviness!!! Throw yourself 100% into some fabulous intellectual pursuit for at least a month, come back into his orbit with a crew of friends who he'll think are irresistibly fascinating...well, I wrote all this already in the other thread.

Lay off his personal life, EVEN IN YOUR OWN HEAD. Let him be totally independent, and you be too...the only part that's you're business is what's between you. If all that's between you is talking about your relationship (or his other relationship) and feelings and committment, he will be very turned off. If what's between you includes a shared interest in astrophysics, teaming up to volunteer for Doctors Without Borders, or just talking for hours about interesting things other than your emotional lives, he'll be excited/turned on. Let him sort out his feelings on his own--and if he opens up to you ever, be cool and supportive but don't weigh him down by responsing with a heavy emotional load yourself.

It may be too late.

posted October 26, 2009 01:00 PM         

The Gem didn't cheat on me, well he kind of did. We broke up a few months ago, but had ongoing relations. He took this other 'friend' on Our overseas holiday that I had booked for us. Well when they got back I refused to talk to him but then we started work together and it just went back to how it was, and we continued the relationship pretty much. (Venus trine Neptune, anyone?). He was harder to pin down though and often 'busy' on the weekends. But he'd be calling me up at night when he was worried about things, eg. there was a WorkSafe thing going on at work in his building (which the local papers got a sniff of and tried to contact him) which was stressful and I was there with him, booked him doc appts, drove him there, he did the same with me when my car broke down he would drive me everywhere while it was being fixed, and all that. Have all of our breaks together, even though he moved buildings. Anyway, these 'busy' times after he got back from the holiday I assume were with this 'friend' of his, and as it turns out I ended up being the 'other woman', though I am sure that their relationship started before ours broke up (hence, her taking my place on the holiday - he told me he was going alone, until I figured it out thanks to Facebook lol)

We were affectionate up until the time I sent his girlfriend (I guess we were both his GF?) a message saying that it appears he's been lying to us both. What she does with that is up to her, but I am assuming he lied to her to cover his a**. He fessed up only a week before I told her. A very good friend and I had a discussion as she had been in a similar situation - this girl, and my friend are both Cappys - and although that's nothing to go on, my friend said that she would want to know if she was in that position. So it wasn't a knee-jerk emotional reaction, in fact the letter was quite UNemotional and to the point and reasonable.
So what happened is, she must have called him (I have no idea what her reaction was) but the next thing I knew was I got a very mad phone call at work telling me never to contact her or him again. This has made it hard as we have to have professional contact. At this point if I need to contact him for work information I have to go through my boss (this was my decision, and my boss thought it was a good idea) but after today this is proving difficult. It's a very bad position to be in.

posted October 26, 2009 01:06 PM         

a lot of people are like that.

I keep my metaphysical interests secret from others that aren't known for being interested in those things.

heck, I don't go around telling people at my unity church that I am into Astrology.

I also keep metaphysical experiences to myself. That also includes in metaphysical forums such as this. I have Sun,Mercury,Venus in Scorpio which is associated with secretiveness. My Moon in Pisces also can be associated with secretiveness. Both signs are yin signs,and so they are considered to be connected to introversion. My mother has Moon in Scorpio,and she believes metaphysical things besides her Roman Catholic beliefs more than she lets on. She has told me.
a lot of people in my family have Scorpio influences,believe in/experiene metaphysical things,and keep those things secret. They just keep it to themselves.

Of course, as long as there is psychiatry and certain mainstream religions that look down on those things, I wouldn't blame anybody for wanting to keep certain things

Saturn also may have something to do with it. It's the planet of practicality,grounding,and "realism". It's about the physical boundaries,and so it has do with limitations and restriction. I have a very strong Saturn influence with it aspecting all my planets in watersigns which are connected to psychism(Sun,Mercury,Venus in Scorpio and Moon in Pisces)as well as Neptune,the planet connected to psychism. Saturn is conjunct the Midheaven (it's in the Gauquelin sector just like for scientists),and most of all, it's the handle of my bucket chart. It's the only planet in the top half of my chart. That also means that almost all of my planets are in the bottom half of my chart. That suggests a strongly introverted nature.

My Ascendant is in Virgo which is also a yin sign associated with introversion. The persona,the approach to life as being practical,analytical,routine-oriented,organized even though that's not what I am truly about. My North Lunar Node in 6th house tells me that I am meant to learn routine,organization,and practicality.

any ways...there are a lot more people that believe in metaphysical things than what is apparent.

Raymond

posted October 26, 2009 01:14 PM         

I do need to get over it

And you're right, I did try to talk to him to 'draw some lines' as I wasn't happy where it was heading. I am the talk-through-issues kind of person in a relationship so we can go on and be happy and carefree

Lay all cards on the table and sort out issues and move on. Geminis don't like that kind of stuff, I know. I am quite scorpio driven and determined... not a good combo. on top of being persistent (Taurus venus and sun).. and never laying things to rest until they 'feel right' (libra moon), and allowing myself to get taken advantage of (venus opp saturn).

I guess this is all going on in my head, I did see the university counseller today regarding the work issue. I'm sorry to bring it onto an astrology site, I guess I was trying to get a different perspective.

But you're all right and I need to just move on and forget that we ever had anything. It would have been easier if we didn't see each other every day for the past year just about. And as I said, I did try to move on, even had a date lined up, but he came back into my life faster than you can say 'two-timer' and then of course, I returned the affection and off he goes again. Push-pull effect. Very hard to get away from when you love the person. And the abrupt ending has been quite a shock to the system.

posted October 26, 2009 01:16 PM         

Gemini is not known for that though. the basic principle of Gemini is not known for emotional sensitivity. That's the domain of watersigns.

many people with Sun in Gemini will have the planets that orbit close to the Sun (Mercury,Venus) in Cancer any way. That's definitely mom's case.

Nicole Kidman has a Sun in Gemini,but also have Mercury in Cancer.

emotional sensitive people with the Sun in Gemini might have the things that I mentioned

and/or

strong watersign influence

strong lunar influence (that could be planets in Cancer,Moon angularly placed, Moon in aspects to personal planets,especially the Sun....Moon involved in an aspect pattern, lunar apex Moon in t-square can be emotionally sensitive - I have that.

also Moon on the equator (0 degreees latitude in the declinations.
Moon out of bounds - beyond 23'28 latitude in the declinations

strong Neptune influence for sensitivity,empathy

strong transneptunian (that includes Pluto) influences for the extreme sensitivity to the hidden,subtleties in general.

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted October 26, 2009 01:31 PM         

I don't go around telling everyone that I am an astro-nutter either, but when you get to know me, it just sort of becomes a part of my daily language, here and there. I normally ask about sun signs but that's it
In a relationship, of course when the person comes over to my house and they see all my books and get to know me, then of course they will have some inkling that this is more than just a "hey baby, what's your sign" kind of thing X)

But, I also have lots of books on forensics and true crime - don't tell many people about that, unless they bring it up in convo. I also have a lot of books on witchcraft and the history of it - not because I practice it - but because it interests me. I like to get into discussions regarding these subjects. And it's nice when someone is interested in something you are on a deeper level than most others. Hence why I like coming to this forum as people actually don't mind talking in depth about astrology, and it's always intersting to read

Apologies to any Gems reading this who think I am horrible for saying they don't commit. I guess that was a broad generalisation, and I know they do, I have several Gems in my family who have all been married (Whether happily or not, I'm not sure) for many years. Well Gemini women. My brother is the first Gemini man in the family ! And I know he wants one-on-one commitment, and kids, but I suppose he wants to MAKE SURE she is the right person. He and his GF have broken up and gotten back together several times, and everyone's hassling him to marry her, but it's his decision and what he said to me last night really struck a cord - He doesn't want to marry her (exact words) because they want to do different things. He said she's not a big picture person and can't see why anyone would outlay a 200K to see a return on it .. all she can see is buying a house and having lots of babies (I am the same as my brother and was whinging that I can't find a guy who would do the same with me lol) so I can see what you're saying.. being scared that they will end up with the wrong person.

What is the most frustrating thing is that I am naturally a slightly jealous person, however I MADE SURE that in this relationship I trusted and was just la la la going along doing my own thing and being there for him when he needed me as he was me, and we had a great time together. He was stressed with work and I was there for him. Then suddenly she comes back into his life full force. I can't help but think that she has had him hanging there for all these years, until he actually found someone who he genuinely gets along well with and we have the same life outlook ... and perhaps she felt threatened by me. I don't know. Anyway when he cancelled a couple of weekends to be with her instead of me, that's when I was like "we NEED to talk" and then he broke it off. So that was the first big no no that happened. But then he kept calling me.. so of course, I thought maybe he thought he'd made a mistake. He insisted nothing ever happened between them.

posted October 26, 2009 01:34 PM         

currently, the heliocentric Uranus Nodes are in 14'03 Gemini/Sagittarius

heliocentric nodes move very slow, up to 1 degree per century.

so the Uranus Nodes have been located in 13 degrees Gemini for the last century.
The

if his Sun is conjunct the heliocentric Uranus Node

that is like having Sun conjunct Uranus, but it's more of a strong connection to a collective and not a generation. It's more pronounced.

only a 2 degree orb is used for the heliocentric planetary nodes.

this is what is said about the heliocentric Uranus Nodes

"Grant Lewi placed great emphasis on the nodes. Statistics of RCA Communications, Inc., in connection with their research dealing with the correspondence that exists between planetary motion and magnetic disturbances that interfere with shortwave radio reception, placed emphasis on the nodes. Letters from two astrologers unknown to each other asked us the same question. Did we know why people born with the Sun near 13-Gemini or 13-Sagittarius seemed to have so much difficulty in making marriage a success? Of course, this meant success according to orthodox standards which are quite inadequate, but it was interesting to note that each astrologer had unconsciously called the exact position of the nodes of the planet Uranus (Individual Reform Guide and Seventh House principle). Marriage is difficult where this principle is concerned because marriage is a Man-made inst;itution that was molded in ignorance of this principle. When he wrote the Ten Commandments General Moses had his intellectual limitations. "

"while planets conjunct or square the nodes of Uranus have a very restless and rebellious spirit."
http://mysite.verizon.net/bonniehill/pages.aux/astrology/tobey/tobey.14.html

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted October 26, 2009 01:41 PM         

His sun is 16.02 Gemini.
Jupiter is at 14.13 Gemini

Uranus/Sun are my AC/DC rulers.

We also have Sun/Uranus opposition in synastry. (my Uranus at 12 Sag)

My ASC (22.45 Aqua) by antiscia is exact conjunct his Uranus (8.19 Scorp).

posted October 26, 2009 02:00 PM         

that's conj the geocentric North Uranus Node which is now located in 16'03 Gemini

His Jupiter is conjunct the heliocentric North Uranus Node.

I was born in 1971 with geocentric North Uranus Node in 15'46 Gemini

what's his birthdata?

Sun conjunct geocentric North Uranus Node is also more pronounced than Sun conjunct Uranus.

according to geocentric planetary node pioneer, Dr. Theodor Landscheidt:

Uranus’ Nodes:

Principles:
Creative union; cyclic nexus; circulation.

Biology:
Stimulating sensual contact; oscillations of cell aggregates; irritation
of nervous system; orgasm.

Psychology, sociology, & technology:

Sudden acquaintanceship; eccentric liaison; new partner; psychic
resonance; grasp a connection intuitively; stimulating companion; excited
family; technological team-work; revolutionary community; clash; vehement
controversy; union of revolters; team of technicians; astrological
association; orchestra; symphony; electromagnetic interaction; electric
power line; resonance of oscillators; wireless transmission; television
network; telecast interview; sudden incidents in community life.

Zipporah Dobyns wrote a book on the geocentric planetary nodes, The Node Book. I have that book.

Jeffrey Wolf Green uses the geocentric planetary nodes in his Evolutionary Astrology. He has a workshop DVD on them too. I have it.

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted October 26, 2009 02:08 PM         

Whoever said that deep down inside Geminis are actually very emotionally sensitive was correct. My friend is very sensitive. She is also very romantic, and will move heaven and earth for the one she loves. She is also NOT commitment phobic. She CRAVES a commitment but it has to be to the RIGHT man. If it is not the right man she is super flighty and will cheat in a heartbeat. So the good news is, your Gemini and his woman are probably not meant to last. The bad news is, you two probably aren't either. She is attracted to men who sparkle, have lots of friends, and who keep her on her toes. Unfortunately, leaving her in a bit of angst tends to keep her anchored in the relationship. Familiarity and routine is NOT soothing.

So, MsCandeh, putting myself in the shoes of a man trying to get my best friend back, you are doing all the wrong things. You need to be not giving your Gemini the time of day. Preferably getting a new significant other who is much more attractive and popping up in places around him looking ridiculously happy would be the ticket. I would disappear off the face of the earth for a few months. Whatever you do, don't contact him. Don't be clingy. You can recover from your mistake, but you must POOF be gone for a little while.