posted November 05, 2009 05:28 PM            

So I was chit-chatting on myspace with a lovely gothic musician man, and while we were messaging I admittedly creeped on his photos. I found myself thinking things like, "G**damn, he is the epitome of beauty to me! He is my perfect man! He is sweet sweat from Apollo's brow!"

This got me to thinking... why do i feel this way about him? What about him is so attractive to me, but perhaps not my dumb roommate who said he looked like a greyhound?

Theory:

We're attracted to members of the opposite sex that possess qualities we, ourselves, would want if we were the opposite sex. Sound too convoluted? Perhaps you're right. Example:

I am a girl. I am attracted to Dave. Why? Perhaps I like Dave so much, because if I were a boy, I'd want to look/act/possess-qualities like Dave. If I were a boy, I'd like to have short blonde hair, and big blue eyes, and be 6 foot tall, etc. just like Dave. Dave is how I picture myself as a male.

Now, obviously my theory might not work in terms of bisexuality and homosexuality. But maybe it could? Perhaps we are attracted to people we wish we could be.

Perhaps we could even link this to astrology: we're attracted to natal chart placements we wish we had?...

posted November 05, 2009 05:50 PM            

7th house (other) is what we are attracted to. I have Leo there. Which means can be attracted to hairy (maybe Aries) confident (maybe Aries too) fun women. Or even just people - the 7th is not just about partner.

Many astrologers who secretly hide their dabblings with psychology (shame on them) have attributed house 7th to the shadow, which is what you mention. I guess it makes sense and maybe looking at your 7th house, you can guess what traits you look for in the other.

The way astrology is set up. We look for someone to compliment us. That is house 7.
Check the house ruler and its condition for detailed interpretation.

posted November 05, 2009 07:56 PM            

As an adult, I've been attracted to my 7th house ruler and people with strong placements corresponding. I have noticed that I'm moving away from that and am now becoming more attracted to my 11th house ruler (where I have my north node) and guys who have that ruler and or 11th house strongly in their chart, as well as physical attributes generalized for that sign.

I have a very loose theory that perhaps when we are younger, we are attracted to our south node and our 5th house. As we get older, we look for 7th house and our north node. It's worked that way for many charts that I've looked at, but I haven't spent enough time to feel it's developed into more than a personal idea. Also, it's important to consider transits as that can bring out changes in what/who we need.

Psychologically, we are attracted to qualities we admire. Most of these qualities will be what we possess ourselves to a lesser degree, so we notice when it's amped up in someone else. As in, you may have some confidence but know that you would be happier with increased confidence, If that's the case, your "attennae" will be out and you'll notice other people who have strong confidence in themselves, which will be very attractive. Some of these qualities will be ones we do not have, but wish we did. Those will be fewer as similarities are necessary to make two people feel comfort with each other (Your favorite color is red? Mine too! and so on). The most common complaint I hear from friends during their breakups is, "We just don't have anything in common anymore..."

posted November 05, 2009 10:34 PM            

The most serious relationships I have had were with Air signs. While both [I've only been in love 2wice] had other elements dominate in the chart it has led me to ponder element lacks in my own.

Perhaps, depending on personal needs we look for what we lack in the chart? I am Air deficient. Placements yes, I have mars in Gemini for one. And perhaps that is part of it that mars
I do like a challenge, and a person who challenges me, intellect and such.

posted November 06, 2009 12:36 AM            

except we tend to see it as their great qualities, not our own. or if just the physical qualities you're thinking about the other person then its the composite of what those looks mean to you, translated. like maybe the tall dark handsome man that you dont give a crap about his personality translates strength to you, or the funny woody allen type translates wit and mental power.

so astrologically i think that your "Dave" for example would be showcasing traits that are already in your chart that you haven't developed strongly enough on your own (aspect, house placement, etc.) and it just so happens that you're at a point in your life where you need those, and Dave would be like your guide in that way. it's kind of self-serving but it's lots of fun and people do it all the time. falling in love, that is. plus we can put all the BS and downsides onto the other person if they dont play out what we want, so that we dont have to own that we had any part in it. doesnt have to be H7 either, it can just be an aspect configuration that you can't get your head around and you see someone who is so great at acting it out for you.

posted November 06, 2009 04:41 AM            

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Soul Mate Love Calculator

posted November 06, 2009 05:46 AM            

hmm, LOL

posted November 06, 2009 06:09 AM            

great question.

I have read a bit on Jung, and he wrote that we all have feminine and masculine parts in ourselves, the Animus (masculine) and the Anima (feminine).

Usually a woman will express her Anima and the Animus will be internal, her inner man.
And a man usually express his Animus and the Anima will be internal, his inner woman.

BUT I think it is important to see that there of course are also woman, expressing their masculine sides and men expressing their femine sides.

It`s is like one part is expressed actively, and the other slumbers inside. And he said that we are usually drawn to people, we can project our "slumbering side" onto. In good cases they will actually reflect this side, be our Animus (if we are women) or our Anima (if we are men).

Some astrologers say that a woman will look for her Sun and Mars-placements (her Animus), and men will look for their Moon and Venus placemenst (his Anima).

but I think that is much too simplistic, and doesn´t really take into account gay people.

I think it is more interesting to find out, what we express, and what is still waiting inside to be triggered to a more active expression.

There is also two sayings on attraction:
1. Same folk flock together
2. Opposites attract

I think both may hold true in certain instances.

Maybe if you are reacting to the "Same folk"-kind of attraction, it is more about familiarity and comfort, whereas the "opposites attracts" is more about passion and attraction.

But even with "opposites attract" I think they should not be too different. It is more the case of: You have something, that I lack and somehow subconsciously feel I need and want.

And that is perfectly demonstrated in astrology by the opposition of the 7th to the 1st house for example.

posted November 06, 2009 10:30 AM            

I hear what you are saying about the 7th House Ruler, but I disagree.

My DC is in Taurus, conjunct Mars. I admit that I am very attracted to Taurean's, but in a more... primal way? It's completely natural and flowing.

The type of attraction and admiration that i'm talking about stems from exhilarating fascination. When you are so captivated by someone; when someone is exactly your ideal.

I think it comes from wanting to be them. Everyone has an alter-ego, or dreams of themselves being looked at a certain way, or thought of a certain way, or wants to have a certain style. Then when you meet someone who fits the criteria of your alter-ego, you're dumbstruck! It's a stick-a-fork-in-me-i'm-done! sort of feeling.

posted November 06, 2009 10:33 AM            

what do you feel about men, who reflect or strongly aspect your Venus?

posted November 06, 2009 10:36 AM            

quote:

---

I have a very loose theory that perhaps when we are younger, we are attracted to our south node and our 5th house. As we get older, we look for 7th house and our north node. It's worked that way for many charts that I've looked at, but I haven't spent enough time to feel it's developed into more than a personal idea. Also, it's important to consider transits as that can bring out changes in what/who we need.

---

Interesting theory. Looking at my synastries I'd say that gentlemen who have had Sun in Aries (my 5th house) I was attracted to in a kid way. They reminded me of my childhood, and truly made me feel like a little kid again. It was a cutesy type of attraction.

With Taureans (my 7th house) it's a much more adult attraction. I've looked at them and thought, "You could be my partner."

posted November 06, 2009 10:43 AM            

quote:

---

Meta,

what do you feel about men, who reflect or strongly aspect your Venus?

---

HA! I laughed out loud at that. There's this Triple Cancer boy (ASC, Sun, Mercury) who follows me around like a lost puppy. I'm not attracted to him though.

I think it depends upon what qualities of my Venus sign they display. It depends on the aspects as well. I'd say that my ideal emotional partner reflects my Venus sign, and I would want my partner to demonstrate affection like my Venus sign. However, I need variety. If he's exactly like me, in terms of love, then I find myself annoyed.

And you? What have you found?

EDIT:

posted November 06, 2009 10:50 AM            

I also have read once that the 8th house relates to personal principles and the "ideal relationship".
I even have read once that the 7th houser represents your partner, when you get to know him, but that the 8th house relates to the relationship, that has stepped the line into deeper intimacy (which leads us back to sex again. lol)

Just paraphrasing what I have read.

For me, it is very much 5th house; ruler (Placidus) is in Cappy squaring Pluto. Nuff said.

What I have found for me is that the ruler of these houses seem to be stronger than planets falling into these houses. You will not see me going gaga over a Cancer (my 8th house), quite the opposite. BUT someone who triggers my Moon in Aquarius could very well drive me insane (if I am not too scared and back away). Moon rules my 8th house.

Same with 5th house, Taurus on the cusp in Placidian system. Not too much into Taurus, but my Venus in Cappy loves these SAturnian-Plutonians.
Well, my Sag-stellium cannot really understand this "perverse" inclination of mine.

On the ohter hand using equal houses, 5th house contains Aries, and that is really the sign that might be my greatest weakness (along with Cappy?s).