posted February 03, 2010 08:32 PM         

Yeah, yeah, shut up, you love it!

Anywho, through much analysis I have come up with an idea:

In synastries (not just mine!) i have noticed that in relationships where romantic feelings exist (either from one, or both sides) if there is an aspect involving Mars & Venus such is true:

1. VENUS is always the person to reveal him/herself. They commence the flirting, they lose sleep and pick daisies and question, "S/He loves me? S/He loves me not?" Whoever Venus is will be the one to sort of feel a lack of power in terms of where the relationship heads. Venus is at the mercy of Mars; whatever Mars wants, Venus obliges.

2. MARS is the person who directs the relationship. If Mars is romantically interested in the Venus person, s/he will decide where to take it-- whether to get involved, strictly flirt, blah blah, etc. Mars may pine just as much over Venus, but Mars is at an advantage, because Mars doesn't have to worry about how Venus feels, and doesn't have to put him/herself out there first-- Venus takes care of this.

posted February 03, 2010 09:29 PM         

Me?
Well, read meta's Mars before I'll share it again, couldn't describe better . . .

Me 19* Aqua-Mars, his 20* Aqua-Venus,

posted February 04, 2010 03:09 AM         

So.. it was *boy meets girl*.. well actually it was *boy bumps into girl* accidentally (one of many accidents and coincidences lol).. girl doesn't notice boy at all to begin with.

Boy starts doing head stands, cartwheels and screaming at the top of his lungs to get noticed.

Oh! The Martian circus!

In the beginning stages Mars does everything. He chases. He's all over you – The sexual attraction is quite chronic.

So - for obvious reasons - I couldn't help but notice the howling beast, so ferociously proclaiming his masculinity to me and everyone else in the room. My reaction was "yeah - so he's a little immature and a little self-centered.. but hey! he's adorable. He’s an adorable howling beast aw lol"

So I gave in to that. We flirted back and forth for agesss and agesss. (this was the only positive time in our relationship: the beginning).

As time went on I realized.. nothing else was happening. No relationship - no dating - nothing official. This kind of upset me. I found him detached, the more attention I gave him. So I stopped giving him attention - and I directed my attention towards OTHER men - men that were good looking - men that he knew - some of which he didn't *like* LOL

OMG - Ok.. That was a hell hath no fury moment. If there ever was a time when he gave me his undivided and full attention, that was it. He was all over the place. He even got physically violent towards one of these guys.

Long story cut short I manipulated him into a relationship because he was now scared of losing me to the competition. This was really not the best idea in retrospect as we had so MANY problems (our mutual Plutos are opposite this conjunction). I don't want to go into detail on the problems but our relationship became much more psychologically complicated than what I have described so far, for external reasons, but also due to other aspects we have in synastry and things ended quite badly. I couldn't speak to him.. I still don't. He may as well be non-existent now..

But in the beginning stages it was *great* and I can say that I still love *some* of our memories together.

So yeah - back to your point. The Venusian power lies in her beauty- her sex-appeal and in her ability to manipulate the Martian sex drive. Whether or not Venus has power depends on how MUCH she gives Mars.. If you give him TOO much (too much attention and TOO much love) - He will (as surely as day is day and night is night) take IT for granted.

If you *don't* - I you play a little with his heart, but most of all another, more proactive, body part… You have it made. He’ll be eating out of your palm.

Myself? I realized I don't want that. I can't spend a life time playing power-games.. and getting him back whenever his attention went elsewhere.. by playing on his sexual attraction to me and his obsession with having me all to himself. Because Mars truly has a problem with Venus being *with* another.

I've said this before - He might not want you after some time - but he definitely doesn't want anyone else to have you either.

Well I had enough. I've moved on. Never again for me! lol

posted February 04, 2010 05:18 AM         

At first, before anything started, we were kind of equal but I guess I was more friendly and inviting and so on.

But he was the one who started it by pulling me closer and kissing me, and he is usually , almost always, is the one to arrange the meetings, ask me if we can meet, and he doesn't like it much when I initiate sex, he prefers doing that himself.

What do I do ?

I try to be nice, pleasant, and I always compliment him after sex, I think I warm things up.

So, without him, this relationship would be over because I don't /didn't ever call him, I even said I was busy so we should break up, but he kept on calling me, so he's like the pursuer and the initiator of things.

And I always try to please him and I act more friendly, I give compliments, I look interested, I act like I do want him, I compromise, I give him space.

But yeah, I feel like I'm the one who is more romantic inside. Maybe because I'm a girl.

I really just fell in love because the sex was so good....lol

I don't even know if I'm in love, I just need him, I'm attached.

posted February 04, 2010 06:24 AM         

- Do you feel appreciated at this stage of the relationship (appreciated for everything you GIVE him, whether emotionally or sexually or in any other way) or do you feel taken for granted?

- IF at some point you DID feel taken for granted by him.. Would you brake things off or sabotage the relationship?

In my experience, once Mars crosses a line - Venus withholds attention, affection and sex. At that point Mars realizes that having Venus around was much like living in a spa & massage vacation resort.. so he suddenly feels like crap without her and comes running back.

Meta - I think it's a very typical male-female pattern. I find that anything you see portrayed as the prototype male and female... in the media etc... comes to life with Venus-Mars (but only when the guy is Mars and the woman is Venus). He acts thoughtless on occasion and watches the footie with his mates, forgetting their anniversary (or something similar). She fakes head-aches and denies sex or makes him jealous to get what she wants.

posted February 04, 2010 06:28 AM         

I think that what Meta wrote is maybe a more accurate description of Mars in general...whether Mars does cartwheels to get noticed or sits back and "wills" someone to come to him...I agree with the idea that Mars is the one at the steering wheel of the relationship, regardless of how things may look on the outside. Venus may either flirt or play it shy, but is the one trying to woo/influence (seduce) Mars.

I can think of relationships where I've been Mars and ones that I've been Venus.

Write that book, Meta.

posted February 04, 2010 11:07 AM         

I'll have to give Venus and Mars some thought, but I have noticed a pattern regarding the ASC-DSC axis.

When someone's Venus is cnj another's ASC (the ASC similar to Mars), Venus seeks a relationship with the ASC.

posted February 04, 2010 11:12 AM         

Perhaps you're thinking this one relationship makes all Mars/Venus interactions the same? I've had contacts where there was no horrible manipulation. But maybe i was just lucky?...

posted February 04, 2010 05:27 PM         

quote:

---

think about other Mars/Venus contacts you've had with other people-- what did they turn out to be like?

---

I think that's the only relationship where the Venus-Mars really played out. The others were not romantic or didn't last long enough, so I can't tell. I'm basing it on my relationship *and* a friend who had the same conjunction in Cancer with her bf. A similar situation happened there. I think it depends a lot on whether the aspect is in ORB as well.

quote:

---

I've had contacts where there was no horrible manipulation. But maybe i was just lucky?

---

It doesn't always go this way. Not at all. I mean people could live a lifetime together with this aspect, or any other aspect for that matter.. and not have these problems.

I believe it only involves manipulation if Venus "bites back", so to speak.. If Mars has somehow been a bull in a china shop - unconcerned with Venus' feelings. I was replying to your comments that Venus is helpless towards Mars, which I can't believe to be the case.. not only based on my relationship but also just based on the symbolic nature of Venus - the mythological stories involving this goddess.

Venus is not a helpless goddess at all lol And not seen as any less strong than Mars.
Mars is overtly aggressive or passive aggressive.. the strength (aries) and strategy (scorpio) of war. Venus is a female prototype.. but not a "weak" one. I didn't find it unusual in retrospect that my relationship involved manipulation because this was the typical course of action for Venus: the goddess.. She made all the other Gods fall in love (sometimes not at their will and sometimes in unrequited or forbidden situations) for her own entertainment. So I see the negative side of Venus as *superficiality and using people* rather than.. *being a weak & vulnerable female*

Being soft - feminine - affectionate and loving, are all part of the positives of Venus, but this is always *conditional*. I don't believe unconditional love exists from Venus. That is a Neptunian thing - possibly a Jupiter thing.

So if Mars stirs the relationship in a direction Venus *likes* - then she is all of the things positive things you described. If he does something she does not like - the Mars person will see a VERY different side to Venus.. and he'll soon have no relationship to stir at all. So I guess Mars can *stir* - if she lets him.. if she's happy.

For this reason, the things you said - like Venus feeling a lack of power.. and Mars not worrying about what she feels etc. don't apply in my opinion. When this situation happens.. you get a Venusian red flag that says "Mars – my darling – you better shape up...."
And sometimes it works.. OFTEN it does work.. Often Mars will be subtly and slowly moulded and changed by Venus into a more subdued version of himself. But if Mars doesn't allow for this to happen.. Venus much like the woman scorned.. no longer gives affection or sex.

(btw I'm using he and she to describe the masculine and feminine nature of the planets.. not the gender of the person who may have the planet)

posted February 04, 2010 05:35 PM         

:edit: Kata - I forgot to ask - was the divorce a mutual decision, or, was it more-so your decision?

But - Meta - I'm not supporting the part where you say: Venus is at the mercy of Mars. This is far removed from my experience of this aspect.. and also the way I interpret the energy of the planets.

posted February 04, 2010 06:24 PM         

VERY interesting what you've said about Venus/ASC and Mars/DSC. I can tell you right off the bat that i have noticed this to be true.

posted February 04, 2010 06:24 PM         

Venus can say, "Hey, you're not paying attention to me and not giving me what i deserve," but it's Mars who chooses how to respond to that. Mars can either shape up and change his/her tune, or Mars can ignore the warning and the relationship can end.

I'm saying it all comes down to Mars. In MY opinion. My observations. The relationships i've viewed have been my own, my parents', my (lesbian) aunts', and friends'. Now granted, i'm young, my friends are young, and both my parents and my aunts got together in their early teens. However, I know that I'm mature, and treat romantic matters seriously. I don't think that age has anything to do with how I, personally, handle the aspects.

posted February 04, 2010 06:44 PM         

An ex and I have Venus/Mars DW. My Venus conjunct his Mars and my Mars opposite his Venus. The opposition was tighter, so my Mars directed the relationship. I asked him out and I also broke up with him lol.