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posted March 30, 2010 02:10 AM         

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I could see him going MIA for a few days. I would just let it be.
x o x Ami

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posted March 30, 2010 06:02 PM         

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Thanks Ami!!

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posted March 30, 2010 06:47 PM         

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the MIA thing is usually attributed to Aquarius.

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posted March 30, 2010 08:26 PM         

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I've never had an Aqua go MIA on me. I've had a Libra, Capricorn, Aries, Sagittarius, and Leo do it though. On several occasions. Those 5 take the cake. My Libra ex did it constantly, same with an Aries ex, and only bettered by my Capricorn ex.

I mean, since we're generalizing and (over)simplifying by sun sign again, thought different experiences might help and all.

If he goes MIA it's the Libra sun combined with the Sagittarius moon. But maybe he's just kind of a jerk lol. I don't like it when people go MIA. It's tacky. I hate flaky behavior.

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posted March 30, 2010 09:30 PM         

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MVM...I also do not like the MIA either! I'm sure if the tables were turned, they would hate it as well. Next question is, if your ex did it...did they like/love you at the time?? Is it just a way to protect themselves, ect? Thanks!

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posted March 30, 2010 09:47 PM         

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GlamGem,

My Libra ex did it a bunch of times. We were living together. Yes, he loved me, but he had some serious problems with alcohol and just being a dick all around.

Now...my ex-husband (Cappy) did it to me a few times - at the beginning during courtship, and toward the end.
To me, MIA for more than a day (I mean when there are PLANS involved and I hear nothing) is unacceptable. Dropping off the face of the earth while in a relationship is not acceptable to me, ever. If you do it to me, be prepared to get a dose of your own medicine.
I repaid ex him by going MIA on him for 3 days, and alluding to maybe having a drink with a male friend. He freaked out, didn't do it again for 2 years....when we were married...and things were falling apart. Then he did it a few other times and I pulled the MIA big stick on him again, by going missing for 7 days while in another country, and not returning his calls.
He called everyone trying to get a hold of me, and no one knew. He left about 12 messages on my voicemail, each one sounding more desperate than the other.
When I did return his calls, 8 days later, it was to let him know I was okay, and apologized for going missing. Then I asked him for a divorce
Obviously, there were other problems going on, but really, I had reached my limit and at that point I just stopped caring.

I don't know what someone's problem is when they do stuff like my exes did.
Me? I have serious abandonment issues...the people I choose to give my heart to KNOW this. Therefor, when they do what they did, it means they are not taking my feelings into account. Their actions say, 'I don't give a **** about your feelings.'
I understand needing time alone or away. But you TELL the person you want it. You don't just disappear.
I hated doing what I did to my ex, but actions speak louder than words, especially when the words 'I do not appreciate when you do XYZ' have been communicated over and over again and they choose to ignore it. At that point, the gloves come off. Whatever their reasons are, it becomes unacceptable after they've had ample time to explain themselves. They have to be accountable for their actions, regardless of love or protection or whatever, you know?

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posted March 30, 2010 11:25 PM         

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I'm sorry you had to go through that. I am just like you on this subject...do not think it's acceptable at all!! If you need time alone..just say so, we all do every now and then!! One good thing is that we didn't have plans...but some really great conversations 4 nights in a row and then nothing (fall off the earth) like you said. You are much stronger than I am at giving them a dose of their own medicine...it would be VERY hard for me not to call or something!!

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posted March 31, 2010 03:15 AM         

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GlamGem, I do need time alone A LOT with a moon in the 12th, plus my Moon/Uranus opposition can make me unpredictable at times (by anyone's standards, btw)..however, because I know this, I always keep it in check, plus I have the utmost respect for whoever I am with. So even when I am being weird, I try really hard to communicate my feelings...and I think this is what it should really boil down to...trying your best, remaining aware, etc...

It is not easy for me to give someone a dose of their own medicine though.... methinks this is my Venus Scorpio, which is very self-protective, and also my chart ruler. It makes me enforce distance in order to feel more 'in control' (see? I can relate to your other thread ), which often feels like severing a limb on purpose in order to not deal with any more pain!
I think a stronger person would just not let it get to them at all... but then, that would mean the person is not attached. And we're all sticky to begin with

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posted March 31, 2010 09:28 AM         

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What were the circumstances of his MIA, Glam Gem?
I am not saying it is considerate but sometimes a guy gets freaked with intimacy.
We all do, really,I think.
I know *I* do.

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posted March 31, 2010 11:03 AM         

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Ami...like I mentioned we talked for several days in a row on the phone (GREAT conversations, and no not sexual) very deep, feel like I've known him my whole life then 3 days without anything. I guess it might just be me....but in the beginning of any friendship/relationship it would be hard to have that great of conversations with someone and then just act like they don't exist the next several days!! I overthink and wonder if maybe I said something that scared him off but I know it went very very well..so I'm just getting insecure because of the no contact.

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posted March 31, 2010 11:08 AM         

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I did talk to him for a few minutes last night online...he quote "I have to be a good boy tonight, I'm going to bed" I asked when he wasn't a good boy and he said when he's off of work so I'm assuming he meant he has to be good and get to bed at a decent time for work?? LOL Cause he was never a "bad" boy in conversations with me!! He did stay up til 1 chatting with me those nights but never crossed the line! In all my life, when a guy is interested in me...it's all the way or nothing...SO not used to this back and forth crap!!

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posted March 31, 2010 11:09 AM         

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I think it is probably simple fear of intimacy. I wish there was a pill for it cuz *I* would buy it by the gallon

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posted March 31, 2010 11:22 AM         

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So if he really likes me.....will he come back around?? Just let him contact me?? I don't get that!! lol Life is too short and when you find someone that you have "sparks" with...why run from it?? They may not be there by the time you decide ok I'm ready! I guess my venus in cancer is what doesn't understand. When I want/like someone...I fall hard and hang on! lol

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posted March 31, 2010 02:26 PM         

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GlamGem, I wouldn't equate a fear of intimacy just with the recent behaviors... that's me though.
Things are still new between you two, so....
I think sharing and having deep conversations for 3 days in a row might make someone want to 'digest' for a few days and that's all....so you can just relax and let him digest the stuff you guys talked about and he'll probably be back soon

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posted March 31, 2010 03:20 PM         

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Thanks MVM...like I said I just get insecure with no contact....start overanalyzing stuff too much!!

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posted April 06, 2010 10:47 PM         

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He is sooo confusing to me....he shows signs of interest by asking questions and wanting to get to know me but sometimes is abrasive in the way he asks. Then will flirt and give a compliment then back to being mean/teasing. I feel like I'm in kinder again!!!

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posted April 06, 2010 11:48 PM         

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Im a libra sun taurus rising and I definately run hot and cold!

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posted April 07, 2010 07:48 AM         

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Dear Glamgem
*I* think he likes you--very much.
It is hard getting to know someone new. You don't know his past experiences with hurts, rejection etc.
I think your hardest thing would be not to panic.
Call ME if you want to talk.
I will talk you down from the ceiling

x o x Ami

PS I am serious. I have free 24/7 cell!

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posted April 07, 2010 10:11 AM         

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Awwww Ami you are too sweet!! Just never have had someone ask questions like this. I have to say, it's the first time he's 20 questioned me so I figured that it meant he was interested but some of the ways he teases and picks...I'm thinking okay what is he doing? LOL

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posted April 07, 2010 10:21 AM         

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This is my opinion. He really likes you!
His way of being when he likes someone is different than what YOU have experienced before.
You just need to not panic and let him go forward in his unique way.
Later,if it works out, it may make sense.
Perhaps, he is terrified of rejection,etc.
You can't know WHY,now.
I think if you push him, you will lose him.
He ,obviously, is struggling with something.
Does he have Mars in Cancer?
*I* am afraid of intimacy ,too.

x o x Ami

PS I just looked and he does!
For me,Mars in Cancer makes me afraid to approach things directly.
The crab moves sideways
So, instead of following a straight line toward a goal as a normal person would-lol-we go side to side like he is with getting to know you.
The Crab needs patience and tenderness in order to trust. When they do, they will stick to you like glue.
YOU may get sick of him

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posted April 07, 2010 10:24 AM         

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Yes Ami...he does have mars in cancer lol. We have venus conj mars in cancer

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posted April 07, 2010 10:28 AM         

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I answered my own question. You are the Venus.
That seems good.
He ---still---has the issues where you should give him space--space--space---IMO.

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posted April 07, 2010 11:34 AM         

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Will do!! I waited for him to contact me this last time which was last night....so he found me online. Just not used to the teasing and stuff. I mean I like flirting and playing around just fine!

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posted April 07, 2010 11:37 AM         

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I just saw your PS on your post...because I have venus in cancer, I can be the same way. I don't do one night stands or talk to someone if not really interested. I get attached easily but I don't feel like I move sideways to my goal...is that because my mars is in Gemini?

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posted April 07, 2010 11:43 AM         

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Well, I am new at Astrology so it is hard to answer what is what lol.
I am strong Gemini but my Cancer Mars is just so indirect
I think Gemini mars could move where it wanted without the same"stuck in the mud' feeling as the Cancer Mars.
Mars is in its fall in Cancer for a reason lol.
Energy should be propelled outward. It goes against nature to have it propelling sideways.
I think many Mars in Cancer issues could be explained like this--perhaps i.e. energy going in the wrong direction.

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