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Author
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Topic: ~Fear of Intimacy~
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glamgem25
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 11:54 AM
 
So after talking with Ami...I'm more curious about this fear of intimacy and what aspects/combinations make it more so?? It's something hard for me to grasp since I crave intimacy but definitely willing/wanting to learn about it. Thanks for any feedback...If this is something that has been previously discussed alot, I apologize. I looked for threads on it! IP: Logged |
Diablo
Knowflake Posts: 284
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 12:08 PM
Lol, sex and love is no.1 topic here so don't worry about it haha.Fears of intimacy (as based from my natal chart & experiences..) Saturn in Scorpio in the 8th Venus Square Jupiter
Venus oppose Saturn
I actually answered my own question about my fear of intimacy and sex on another thread by IQ not too long ago, as i have always used my body to protect my heart (didn't work well, Saturn karma lesson taught me that), so i'll post what i wrote then as it's quite an insight and pretty genius, i must say lol
............................................ "Um..i got Venus square Jupiter and Venus opposing Saturn and that's the only aspects it makes, except for my Venus trining my MC, should i be worried?? lol I got Pluto in the 7th to boot..greaaat the planet of death and destruction in my house of marriage & partnerships. But my Saturn makes NO aspects to any planet, but has planets making aspects to him. Weird. EDIT!! OMG i just realised something..ok so my Venus is in Taurus and my Saturn is in Scorpio, which means my Venus is in my 2nd house of possessions, income, values, ethics PERSONAL FEELINGS OF VALUE AND WEALTH while my Saturn is in my 8th of sex, death, major lifestyle changes, OTHER PPL'S MONEY, ulterior motives and, magic and secrets... now, those 2 planets aspecting each other in THOSE 2 houses..i just made a connection between the 2. My experience as a top exotic dancer reflects that, i earned my income (2nd house) through my sexuality (8th house) and it totally impacted on my personal feelings of self-worth & value (2nd house, venus) by making tips of very wealthy men (8th house..other ppl's money), many who were connected in this secret underground world (8th house scorpio) where i learned many secrets and was both a victim and a perpetrator of ulterior motives (8th house issues) that were based on power and control (8th house scorpio) Well, i'm glad to say 2 years later that I'm DONE with that bit of karma and really glad that I've dealt with it and sorted it out and am in a better, more healthier place mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally." ............................................ Lol i just realised further on that point that Venus in the 2nd house (of income and self value) making stressful aspects to my Jupiter (of luck and expansion and abundance) in the 11th house (of friends and social groups and hopes and wishes) put me in contact with an underground world while working in strip clubs (and we all know who and what they're run by) Thanks to that, i have friends in very high places and very low places thanks to my 2nd, 8th and 11th house being connected by Venus, Jupiter and Saturn. And thank you for you post, had i not replied i would not have come to the further realisation  IP: Logged |
amowls*
Knowflake Posts: 1070
From: richmond va
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 02:04 PM
Moon square Saturn can make a person PRONE to fear of intimacy (highlighting the word PRONE before someone comes in here and says "NO I HAVE THIS AND IM NOT AFRAID!!!")IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 02:51 PM
My current relationship is the one I want long term so I am trying to figure out how to let someone in i.e. intimacy.
I have been terrified of the real me so I was terrified of someone knowing the real me.
I still am
I get stomach aches when I feel that someone sees the real me.I have one now,even writing this.
In order to let someone see you(intimacy), you have to be OK enough inside.
They may leave you, hurt you , reject you.They ,probably, will do all of that in the course of the relationship with all of it's ups and downs.
You have to know that you are OK, alone:that you won't be worthless if they don't like you.
These things are very hard for me.
Maybe, intimacy is hard for all people.
IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:03 PM
actually, imo, saturn squaring moon would make a person quite depressed, it doesn't necessarily give them a fear of anything, quite the opposite it'll make them quite cold and fake the intimacy.. uranus squaring moon or venus on the other hand, produces that effect.. the person will crave the closeness and the romance but as soon as it happens they freak and escape. lunar aquarians are also fearful of intimacy. venus in aquarius as well.. venus in aquarius would be well off on the internet browsing personals.. that's their way of finding love and probably what works best for them.. but i find that even people with sun in aquarius are fearful of any kind of emotional commitment but not because they're j.. well, yes, it is because they're aquarians. they're brought up in a very cold and impersonal household and they never learned or received the affection growing up and once they're old, they freak or have little to no idea about how to carry out an actual relationship other than one that deals with possibly tv dinners and only speaking about passing the popcorn before the commercials are through.. venus in hard aspects with saturn does not make the person fearful of intimacy in any way, shape or form.. in fact, they may desire it even more and may be willing to work at it more than most but the saturn restriction is there and no matter how much they work at it, it just seems to be denied to them. but saturn rewards for a job well done and the venus opp saturn person may find what they've wanted all along at a later age unlike uranus, who will forever be trying to figure out and balance their need for freedom and closeness at the same time. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:05 PM
Duke
Since you are there lol. Would an unaspected Venus be afraid of intimacy ?
Thanks so much for any help. Ami IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:09 PM
an unaspected venus will not. it'll more than likely produce a person that is addicted to love.. sort of like a casanova. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:11 PM
Well, my current experience with my guy's Pluto trining my Venus--exact degree---is the opposite of a casanova.
I don't have eyes for anyone else.
IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 2136
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:11 PM
I think it depends on the whole chart and the maturity level of the person which is not necessarily going to be reflected in a chart. Some will say Venus/Saturn, some will say Venus/Uranus, some will say Venus rx... etc.... etc.... there will always be something and there will always be an exception. I think the best way to know is to get to know someone and see how they act. If things don't work out that may not mean a fear of intimacy so much as you two not being right for each other! It may also be about misinterpretation on your own part! IMO, lots and lots of hard Neptune in the chart can be like a fear of intimacy in the sense of impossible standards and wanting things to be always pretty and beautiful, and then being disillusioned when the person turns 'human'. Fear of intimacy is something I could relate to when I was in my early 20s with my Moon/Uranus opposition. But I outgrew it...now I just take the time I need when I need to be alone. Intimacy in general makes me feel very vulnerable and naked, but I am not running away from it anymore.... again, some aspects are not going to tell you the whole story! Consider that you're dealing with a human being and not just a chart.... IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:16 PM
uh, you confused me ami, i thought you said an unaspected venus? i dont recall you mentioning a pluto trine venus.. an unaspected venus is much like, a loose cannon.. they'll probably be quite the womanizer or charmer but drop the interest as quickly as they picked it up.. there are no aspects to keep the venus in check so it roams around freely unless the synastry is kept in check by the aspects of the partner.. and even then, nothing is ever set in stone. venus in a trine to pluto is totally different and not like an unaspected venus at all. also, (to the op) it seems that everyone has a different idea of what 'fear of intimacy' means so if you would, please elaborate on your situation so that others may better understand and be able to help. thanks. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:25 PM
quote:
uh, you confused me ami, i thought you said an unaspected venus? i dont recall you mentioning a pluto trine venus.. an unaspected venus is much like, a loose cannon.. they'll probably be quite the womanizer or charmer but drop the interest as quickly as they picked it up.. there are no aspects to keep the venus in check so it
roams around freely unless the synastry is kept in check by the aspects of the partner.. and even then, nothing is ever set in stone. venus in a trine to pluto is totally different and not like an unaspected venus at all. also, (to the op) it seems that everyone has a different idea of what 'fear of intimacy' means so if you would, please elaborate on your situation so that others may better understand and be able to help. thanks.
No, Duke.What I meant was that *I have an unaspected Venus.
In synastry ,it IS aspected by his Pluto.
Sorry for the confusion.
Ami
IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:27 PM
oh, ok, i understand. thats quite good, actually. good aspects from saturn will also bring fulfillment to that venus.IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 2136
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:27 PM
Duke, I think Ami might mean that her un-aspected Venus is trine someone's Pluto...?I have a peregrine sun in the 5th and getting synastry contacts on it actually 'grounds' me. Usually it's a hard Saturn aspect from someone's chart which will do it. Otherwise, when I am uninterested and not really getting hard Saturn or even Pluto to my Sun, I don't want to commit and can just like to wander around and fall in love 10 times a day, as my 5th house sun likes to do  IP: Logged |
glamgem25
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:28 PM
Diablo..glad to know the post helped you as well!!! MVM...I get what you're saying about there always being an exception...I just thought maybe there was an aspect or combo of aspects that stood out with fear of intimacy! It's sooo interesting learning all this!! IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:30 PM
diablo, i have a fifth house sun as well along with a moon in leo.. something that may be good for you to keep in mind is that any romantic alliances that you build will personally affect you so it'd be wise to keep that in mind before getting involved.i also would like to add that lunar sagittarians are also fearful of intimacy. -edit- i'd like to clarify what i mean by 'intimacy'.. sagittarians are ok as long as it's not too heavy. if it's heavy the first time around, they're ok but they expect the next time to be loose enough for them to be able to watch the tv at the same time.. by intimacy, i mean sex. they'll also be quite gunshy about cuddling.. but as with anything in sagittarius, try not to be a scorpio or one with lots of pluto when dealing with them. as soon as anything gets too serious, they start shaking in their boots. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:37 PM
quote:
you're telling me.. i have a fifth house sun as well along with a moon in leo.. something that may be good for you to keep in mind is that any romantic alliances that you build will personally affect you so it'd be wise to keep that in mind before getting involved.
Could you explain this more--astrologically, Duke. I would appreciate it very much.
Ami
IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:38 PM
Thank you, Diablo, for all you shared! x o x Ami IP: Logged |
glamgem25
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:47 PM
The Duke....I can see that with this lunar Sag. After a relationship that didn't turn out well, those past ones mold the future ones...but maybe that's everyone to a certain extent! IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:54 PM
quote:
I have a peregrine sun in the 5th and getting synastry contacts on it actually 'grounds' me. Usually it's a hard Saturn aspect from someone's chart which will do it. Otherwise, when I am uninterested and not really getting hard Saturn or even Pluto to my Sun, I don't want to commit and can just like to wander around and fall in love 10 times a day, as my 5th house sun likes to do
I think an unaspected Venus does not know how to love . They are blocked in feeling their own love nature. It feels like a blank.
It sounds sociopathic and maybe it is.
This time around---with the Pluto trining it--aloofness is out the window It is like the prince kissed Sleeping Beauty and she woke up.Once she woke up, she HAD the quality. I think I have my love nature back now.
I don't think it keeps needing to be woken up.Once it has, it stays that way.That is how it feels to me.
I am new at this cuz this is my first relationship where I am not aloof.
Ami IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 2136
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 03:57 PM
Ami, may I ask what house Pluto occupies in your chart, and also what cusp you have Scorpio in (house) ??IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 04:02 PM
Thank you MVM cuz I wanted to ask someone to help me interpret this.
*I* have Pluto conjunct the MC.It is in Leo in the 10th house.
I am a Scorpio Ascendent. I have an eigth house Gemini stellium---Sun, Mercury, and moon(in Cancer in 8th house)
How would Pluto conjunct the MC work? How would that aspect impact me?
Also, I have a related question I will ask after, if you would be so kind to take it. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 04:21 PM
To clarify, Duke, I think you can have sex with intimacy or sex without intimacy.
I define intimacy(in--to -me---see) as showing someone the real you.
I appreciate your astrological explanations very much.
Ami
IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 2136
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 04:26 PM
I don't know much about Pluto conjunct MC...I have the square. To me it's vague to interpret, sorry  Scorpio asc would explain probably why you take well to the Pluto influence to your Venus...since Venus is on your 7th house cusp...that would mean a trine to her from Pluto unites your 1st and 7th houses, since they didn't have a relationship before ...that's pretty important! IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 2136
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 04:33 PM
I just thought about it, and the Saturn stuff for me (asides from the whole thing about it being 'glue' to relationships) - is because I do have a lot of Saturn influence:-Capricorn MC
-Natal Saturn conjunct my Sun/Moon mp exactly!
-Saturn squares my 5th and 7th house rulers. I think this is why I am especially receptive to it on my peregrine sun especially. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 2014
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 31, 2010 04:35 PM
true intiamcy is a very volnerable thing.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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