posted July 25, 2010 07:45 AM         

In high school, my emotions and anger was so volatile that the court ordered Anger Management. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 16 for the same issues. I found that smoking weed was the only thing that calmed me down and kept me calm.

I was so wild and out of control in my youth, dangerously so. I think it was the Cancer Mars, all that anger came from a profound hurting. It felt like my heart was getting ripped out and shattered everyday. With Aries Rising, my watery emotions are just explosive and wipe everything out.

Sun trine Pluto,
Mars trine Pluto

When I'm upset, the Plutonian side to my personality comes out and I'm apparently very terrifying. Even my silences or my presence have kept ppl in a state of fear. I don't know where all this scary, intimidating power comes from.

Now though I'm all good Studying human behaviour to understand my emotions and psyche was the best therapy I've ever had. Now I let most things go, pretty laid back and not much gets me upset. Nowadays its just a quick temper tantrum but my Libra moon balances everything out and the Aries ASC means I'll be over it as quickly as it came about.

But when its something that hurts my heart, then its all war, cos Mars is my chart ruler. I don't scream or yell or destroy everything in my wake, including the person who hurt me like I used to.

posted July 25, 2010 07:49 AM         

x o x Ami

posted July 25, 2010 07:56 AM         

Ami

posted July 25, 2010 08:20 AM         

which means many lonely periods, many times where i've hit rock bottom physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, too many instances where everything I've known has come undone by one tiny occurance that shakes everything I know of this world, typical Pluto destroying everything and wiping everything out so I could rebuild it from the very start with stronger foundations, self sabotaging myself and going down that self destructive path and standing on that line before retreating and reevaluating.

"The basis of compassion comes from suffering"..Buddha quote, quite true in terms of my life I think haha

I had to get to the raw core to understand myself down to the soul and accept the dark side/shadow.

My South Node is in Scorpio(funny, i was actually reading up on it and this topic came up in the middle. Love how the universe works )
My 8th house is ruled by Scorpio and I got Saturn in there so that's where my karmic lessons are to be lived, experienced and learned so that makes heaps of sense.

I also got a Scorpio Pluto but that's in the 7th, so that Plutonian quality is also always present in my relationships.

While I don't have much of a Neptunian influence (leave that to the 12H boys lol), my sun and mars oppose Neptune, I tend to think its definitely softened the harshness of the Plutonian lessons and as Neptune is about intuition and enlightenment, I'd say definitely. My neptune is in the 10th so the way I see it...

posted July 25, 2010 09:50 AM         

Ami

posted July 25, 2010 11:07 AM         

Ami

posted July 25, 2010 11:16 AM         

Therefore, many people with planets in Libra will have planets in opposition to Eris.
I use no more than 3 degree orb for it. I use the same orb for Pluto and all the other big transneptunian objects.

posted July 25, 2010 12:10 PM         

quote:

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Easy done, babe..you're already more than halfway there

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Diablo, If was gay which I am NOT--I would go for you

Ami

posted July 25, 2010 02:12 PM         

I physcially attacked my sister yesterday because I had enough of her hypocritical self-serving attitude, two-facedness, and overall callousness. Go ahead and judge me.

posted July 25, 2010 03:31 PM         

My exbf (Pisces sun) has a Mars in Cancer and from what I saw of him and anger, there wasnt a whole lot of.

He talked incessantly (lots of Aries inc asc. moon) and when he got mad I knew it cause he would shut down....nothing...or run away...

Nothing cept for the horrible energy for the rest of us to deal with!

And this man, now 49, had a severe heart attack at 41...no doubt from not expressing his anger, in part.

posted July 25, 2010 04:39 PM         

quote:

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I'm a rage-aholic, who has too much negative energy coming off of me, according to my mother who will unleash a negative stream of conscious on me if I don't do something when *she* wants it done. Hmmmm...

I physcially attacked my sister yesterday because I had enough of her hypocritical self-serving attitude, two-facedness, and overall callousness. Go ahead and judge me.

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It sounds really painful for you (((Benedict)))

posted July 25, 2010 05:11 PM         

I personally think that I have a temper but I know for a fact that no one can ever accuse me of it. This is because I'm not flamboyantly expressive of my anger. If someone angers me, I'll tell them exactly what I think, but my voice and tone aren't loud at all. People feel my anger, they don't hear it.

My anger also doesn't last but it is very intense while it lasts. I frighten myself with the lengths I'd go to while angry if I allowed myself to do what I want. I've not yet been out of control while angry, so I can literally step out of myself and lecture myself out of reacting in a vicious manner because my real self knows that I don't want to hurt anyone unless I consciously choose to hurt someone. So, I always react in a way that makes me in control of my anger than the other way around.