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Author
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Topic: Neptune In Synastry---The Fog
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 11, 2010 04:14 PM
 
I am sorry for another thread on my mother.
It is a persistent problem. Her Neptune is on my Pluto. That is the story of my life with her---lies, lies, lies.
Pluto is your id--deepest impulses, animal nature, you could say.
Her Neptune is an exact conjunction to my Pluto.
I lost contact with the Pluto part of me and it is really hard to get it back.
Tell me about when Neptune fogged you and you could not see. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Geocosmic* Valentine
Knowflake Posts: 961
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 11, 2010 04:25 PM
Hi Ami Anne,It might be Neptune's connection to another planet in your chart because that conjunction with your mother is more of a generational thing. That would mean a whole generation of people whose parents' are lying to them. If it's not another connection, then what house does your Pluto rule in your chart? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 11, 2010 04:31 PM
Thank you, Geo.
I am a Scorpio Asc. Pluto is conjunct the MC in the 10th house. It sextiles Gemini Mercury and Gemini Sun in the 8th house.
Pluto trines the NN.I have Neptune in the 12th. Gemini Sun(in the 8th as I said) trines Neptune in the 12th.
Gemini Mercury(in the 8th) trines Neptune, too. Both of my parents Pluto's conjunct my Cancer Mars in the 9th house--exact conjunction. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Geocosmic* Valentine
Knowflake Posts: 961
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 11, 2010 04:45 PM
Wow, so Pluto rules your first house of identity. Her Neptune on your Pluto, she blurs out your identity and completely disrespects all of your boundaries. She's strongly toxic to you, she may have even made you physically ill in some way or at some point in your life. Did she try to hide you in some way? Or hide something about you as you were growing up?It's hard for you to see her clearly, that may be some of the reason why you developed such a strong intuition/psychic ability. Here's the thing, now that you're older and understand the dynamics, you can use your Pluto as a tool because Pluto is stronger than Neptune. Pluto is perspective, but it is also the ultimate focus, like when a magnifying glass concentrates the suns rays to a pin point of energy that can start fires. Your Pluto can burn through her fog, your Pluto can obliterate her vagueness like a nuclear bomb. You're the one with the power now. Hopefully now that you have that awareness you can begin to use it. Pluto rules nuclear bombs.  I hope it works, Ami Anne. I have to go now, take care. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 11, 2010 04:52 PM
Thank you, Geo.
I had to hide everything,Geo.I had to hide my strengths, mainly.I had to hide that I had confidence and felt good which I did for a time. I had to hide anything that was good about me.
You know, THAT is what happened ,today, that made me do this thread.
*I* am smarter. When that shows, she attacks.
When I have anything good, she attacks. Then, tells me I did not SEE it. I am imagining it.
I see that from your post, Geo. It was all about hiding,hiding,hiding !
Also I had to pretend I could not SEE who she was.
I stayed sane for a long time cuz I kept repeating,"She is an idiot. I am nothing like her. I am smart"
I used to repeat it all the time, in my head.
Then, I could not SEE ,anymore.
I thought she had sense.I got lost and am still trying to SEE,now.
That is why I keep writing the same thing, I am sure it seems.
I just want to SEE. When I can, I will be OK, again.
PS Geo----I have Neptune trine the Sun and Mercury. I have Pluto sextile the Sun and Mercury.
I think the problem has been sextiles are harder to access than trines.
I am GONNA access my Pluto, Geo!
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 11, 2010 07:26 PM
I was talking to my brother. His whole life was ruined by her.
I have to SEE, SEE ,SEE so I can let it go.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 2042
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 11, 2010 07:57 PM
"Pluto is stronger than Neptune."
Neptune can dance around Pluto so swiftly, leaving Pluto no sense of control or a foot to stand on, and having them question their own motives/identity.Ami,
Take into account that your birth coincided with t.Pluto on her Neptune, so she was in for rude awakening, maybe something she wasn't prepared for. What is her Neptune all about, if you havent looked at that, it could be telling. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 11, 2010 08:04 PM
Dear Lonake
Are you saying I should check her Neptune and the aspects to it ?
I assume you are.
I will do that.
Thank you  ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 11, 2010 08:08 PM
I just know that if I could SEE I would be OK.
Today, it was so bad but really it was GOOD.
She was telling me a story and then asked me how I would handle something.
I said, "You have to feel things out. You can't have a predetermined answer for everything 
I said that there is subtext in life i.e things are going on under the surface
Then, she attacked me cuz I had a better answer than she did.
It seems if I see one lie, there are thousands under like a pile of snakes.
There seems to be no end.
Lies, lies, lies and lies.
I keep swimming , underwater to try to raise my head above and then I see more and more.PS It is so hard to FACE that she has tried to destroy me for my whole life but she HAS. I mean that is the truth!!! I know once I can see I will be OK. I was OK when I could see.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 12, 2010 07:20 AM
I figured out my answer. I am sorry if I keep repeating myself.
There is a term--perseverate. It is when someone repeats the same thing over and over 
I am in a big ball of yarn , wrapped up with her.
When I can unravel her, I can walk free. I am doing it cuz I care for someone .Instead of caving my identity which I had to do for her.
I am being true to it. As I am true to it, I heal. I read a book "Reclaiming Your Life" by Jensen, I think. She said you must stay true to yourself in current situations to get back who you are. You WILL get yourself back if you can do it but it is hard cuz the false self wants to be the only one who shows it's face The false self came about to get the parents love. IF you chance the real self coming out, you will see that is is OK.
It is OK to be the real self. It was OK --all the time. Then, you will be emotionally healthy. I "got" what that book was saying. I "got" it ,last night, cuz I realized I showed my real self to someone I love. It was OK.
In fact, it was beautiful.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
IP: Logged |
Geocosmic* Valentine
Knowflake Posts: 961
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 12, 2010 02:31 PM
It's interesting that you say that you have to SEE. From my little bit of experience with you on this forum, you seem to SEE just fine, as a matter of fact, quite strongly. It seems, to me, that you must BELIEVE what you see. Nothing wrong with your sight at all. It's that your mother has been telling you not to believe what you see. Neptune rules vision and visualization. Neptune can be a smoke screen to project your imagination onto or to "flim flam" others with.Neptune also rules shame, embarrassment and toxins. The key phrase I use with Neptune is: Things aren't as they appear to be. This is what your mother brings to the table of your relationship with her in this incarnation. This is your planet, too. Breaking it down to brass tack, her only job was to give birth to you and make sure that you survived physically until you could take care of yourself. Nothing else matters after that, so you take your knowledge of your planet and apply what you know to your life. You're allowed to disregard all other opinions, including your parents if you choose. She's been a tough lesson for you in this life, but the lesson doesn't have to continue because you're a grown up human being who has survived her already. You've done it. And you've managed to learn right from wrong despite her misleading you to the contrary. I think you're doing great, you're always helping people out here, and it's amazing because you will use your intuition if you haven't learned the astrological part yet and that's a beautiful thing. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 12, 2010 02:34 PM
Geo----THANK YOU  ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 12, 2010 02:45 PM
You know, Geo, I gave up my reality at a moment in time and I remember the actual moment when I told myself that I could not trust my eyes. I shut down my sight , then.
Now, I am getting it back.
It is such a relief like air going in to your lungs when you have not been able to breathe for a long time.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 13, 2010 09:02 AM
I could not face my OWN dark side. I was so tortured by her for everything`that was not perfect that I was afraid of myself :my feelings : thoughts: everything that could get me hurt ,which was everything.------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 15, 2010 08:50 AM
She is a Narcissist and all she will ever do it step on my head--over and over.
A narcissict must always look the best, be the best, have the best answer etc and will squish anyone down who even mildly has anything more than they do--in anything.
A narcissist MUST be king of the hill. If you are one inch above them on the hill, they will bring the steam shovel out and barrel doze you so you are buried under the rubble.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
IP: Logged |
iQ
Knowflake Posts: 2186
From: Chennai, India
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 15, 2010 12:35 PM
An amazing thing you can do to further improve your healing is to make positive changes in your brother's life. The Good Karma will be exponential. You can never lose your Pluto, it will find you when you are ready.
The cliche goes, "When the disciple is ready, the Guru appears". When you are ready for Pluto as Guru, it means you have transcended the need for Neptune's afflictions. Only Neptune's positives will affect you now.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 15, 2010 01:22 PM
Thank you for being like a guide post or a light in a journey that I don't know how to navigate. Each inch has to be fought for like a battle to the death BUT I can see my way out now. Bless you for all you do, IQ. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 15, 2010 03:06 PM
Dear IQ or any Friend who is reading, I ,finally, have my head above water ,a little bit.
I, finally, feel some grounding below my feet.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 15, 2010 04:22 PM
My mother tried to "twist" my reality ,yesterday.
She tried EVERYTHING to unravel me but I would not budge.
I deserve a space in life which is MINE. She does not have to eat my "existence " like some Pac man from Hell.I don't have to GIVE it up. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
seeleah
Knowflake Posts: 310
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted October 15, 2010 04:35 PM
Ami, My ex and I had really really strong neptune stuff. Our strongest thing was our tight 3 orb nis neptune oppose my venus. He also has a third house neptune and his moon is in pisces. So very very neptunian in my opinion. It doesn't help that I got a 5th house neptune an a 12th house sun  and an empty house 8th house picses...I am sure I was like heaven to him...anyways. Yeah. I was always like, wtf? did I just imagine that whole situation, I am still like that right now, what did really happen between us? was I crazy? I still don't know. it's why he scares me...I can't tell what is real or not sometimes. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 15, 2010 04:40 PM
I HATE that.Seelah, when you cannot touch reality.
I hate it so much.
I would rather sob and be emotionally heart broken than be so numb that I can not figure out what is happening.
Thank you so much for responding. I feel like I am out on a tree limb ,alone, often, but I have to do it
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 16, 2010 08:35 AM
The Narcissistic parent does not WANT the child to have a self :a self which will nurture and uphold the child.
The child MUST sacrifice himself at the altar of the Narcissistic parent.The parent will do ALL it takes to steal the child's soul like a vampire or a monster from a Stephen King book.
"The Tommyknockers" was about a group of monsters who looked like humans.
The stole the souls of the townspeople.
The people were empty shells.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 16, 2010 10:08 AM
IQ had the answer. You HAVE to be Narcissistic--a little.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 16, 2010 10:53 PM
Honestly
I don;t know HOW I can face this. I called my brother and told him that I would help him get a computer so he could listen to spiritual things.
He was so happy cuz he had hope. I told my mother that if she did not buy him a computer my son and I would pitch in and get him one.
She sounded EVIL like she did not WANT him to get better or have anything.
I could feel it.
I really am in shock as all the times I face her.
Where will the evil stop? It is a free fall. Just when you think you reached the end, there is more evil and it is like you JUST began.No wonder I became sick. My mother gave herself over to evil. I have to think that God will work it out. How can I? I can't
God help me face all this . I think my mother is close to pure evil. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Knowflake Posts: 350
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted October 16, 2010 11:16 PM
Ami,Do you have 2 sons? IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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