posted November 10, 2010 07:33 PM         

Older women will on the otherhand seek a congenial relationship with me. I think they trust me - same as children it seems. Women from say 20-60 appear to be caught up in issues to do with what will maintain acceptance in whatever group they aspire to -even if it is a wider group or ideal. The women in that age group that I can relate sufficiently too are women who are soul searchers and don't base their values on status and belonging. It is almost as if that age group thinks - 'oh you won't do you tiresome thing, why are you like that, you won't do anything for my bid to be part of something or to put forth the impression that I am trying to give.' urgh, soon as I see that I am over them to a certain degree too.

I have Saturn conjunct Chiron in the 2nd house in Pisces, opposing Uranus (my ASC ruler). My out of syncness had affected my self esteem but I have been finding this too be falling away with the Neptune/Chiron conjunction coming out of the first and into the second soon as well as Uranus transiting the second and Jupiter travelling over the last couple of years through my 12th, 1st and 2nd.

Despite my unbelongingness I will be surprised with things like, on reflection, voted the most popular girl at the end of primary school. Voted girls sports captain in two year groups - I couldn't understand it then, and I still can't. I don't have the same situation now with that popularity though and have not had this since my school years.

I'm wondering if I will be popular again in my old age, haha. President of the crosswords group, honoury member of the Iris club, queen of cakes, lol. I don't like popularity though in general - it reeks of expectations - I'm sure I would have to disappoint, lols