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Author
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Topic: Trauma ---HOW you process it?
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Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 11:42 AM
 
Absolutely Starkiss 
Thank you for understanding what i'm trying to convey here and i'm glad you have come through your trauma because one only starts truly living when one does. Up until then, one is just like those flowers picked from their living state and now merely surviving in a vase.
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 11:47 AM
You know, I wanted to say, independent of anyone's posts, that my goal is not to stay examining my navel, forever 
I MUST examine it cuz you can't push trauma away.
It won't work. It will come up in some other/disguised form and bite you on the rear and HARD.
I know that cuz I have been bitten. I have hopes and dreams that do not include endlessly anaylzing my life.
For now, I need to get my core, authentic self back.
That is my unstoppable passion.
Others seem to need the same thing.
That is my only purpose in writing and it is a valid purpose, IMO. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 6809
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 11:51 AM
Define trauma.IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Knowflake Posts: 813
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 11:52 AM
What I'm starting to realize, at almost 30 years of age, is that healing seems like an endless path. At times, you patch up the holes that are too old to cry over anymore. And, then you lose someone again, are hurt again, get old, feel lonely at times, etc... you're back where you started... And you are back in the water. I've started to accept that life is a process of treading water. It's a matter of survival and trying to find peace in the midst of chaos and the reality that you will eventually lose everything - even your own life. I feel so deeply that it paralyzes me, at times. When I love, I love with everything I am. When I am hurt, I hurt like it's the first time I've ever hurt... Sometimes it's easier to try to shut it all out and just survive. Then, somedays after spending so much time in that fortress I take a peek outside and there's nothing out there but the afternoon sunshine on the lawn and a bunch of happy fireflies... I ask myself how I ever grew to be so afraid of feeling pain. Pain and life are hand and hand. You can't have one without the other. As scary as the thought, that is what I believe to be truth. IP: Logged |
starkiss1
Knowflake Posts: 1510
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 11:53 AM
Ami,I did point out in my post that it's NOT aimed at anybody. Everybody's trauma is different. And so are the ways we choose to deal with it. The one I had to deal with for many years was dealt by Lara's method eventually. And, yes, it helped. We all CHOOSE our OWN ways. IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 6809
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 11:56 AM
Starkiss,"Everybody's trauma is different. And so are the ways we choose to deal with it." I started to heal when I decided that I have better things to do than wallowing in past misery. Past is past, and I still have a life to live.
This is MY way. But as Starkiss said, everyone has to find their own way.
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Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 11:56 AM
We all add up differently but 2+2 will always equal 4, no matter if you do the calculation in your head or on a calculator  All i'm doing is assisting you by giving you the answer - the 4.
If you prefer to keep hunting for your calculator - so be it. There is no such thing as trauma and pain though, there is only MEMORY.
It FEELS real but it's MEMORY. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 11:57 AM
*I* have no problem with "live and let live", Starkiss.
That should be clear in the way that I conduct myself.
I am trying to talk about an important subject matters .
If I have the strength to talk about these things, I have to have the strength and hopefully, grace to deal with people who don't like it.
I am prepared to do that.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 11:59 AM
DD
I am no expert in healing trauma.
I am a survivor trying to eat my way out, you could say.
I have studied sufficiently to know some basic things which I have applied to myself and they have worked.
People need other people on their path, especially a path of healing.
I need you guys and hopefully you need me.That is where I am coming from, DD.
I will answer your question in my next post,in case this one gets erased ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:04 PM
Some people can accept what they are feeling, thinking AND can see and accept their lives.These people do not have excessive trauma to deal with.
Trauma is about hidden things. Things that drive us of which we are unaware OR if aware are powerless to stop them. Such things could be addictions, having multiple failed relationships , depression,
a feeling that life is grey and not worth bothering with etc If your life is NOT working in some way, there are THINGS you are not facing They HAVE to be faced for your life to work.
It would be nice and much easier if they could be perfumed over with Chanel No 5.
Believe me, I would have stock in the company if that worked I have made enough mistakes to know that you must walk TOWARD trauma, not away from it. I have NO wish to push anyone where they do not want/ care to/ like to go. I am simply trying to heal myself so I can go forward.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:04 PM
edit.IP: Logged |
starkiss1
Knowflake Posts: 1510
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:06 PM
Ami, I am not clear on this, who is attacking you ? IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 6809
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:09 PM
"trauma /trau·ma/ (traw´mah) (trou´mah) pl. traumas, trau´mata [Gr.]
1. injury.
2. psychological or emotional damage.traumat´ic-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- birth trauma
1. an injury to the infant during the process of being born.
2. the psychic shock produced in an infant by the experience of being born.
psychic trauma a psychologically upsetting experience that produces a mental disorder or otherwise has lasting negative effects on a person's thoughts, feelings, or behavior."
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/trauma
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:13 PM
Starkiss
I value Randall and Lalalinda a LOT. They ,both, have been wonderful to me.
I don't want to have a fight explode and make them be called in to referee.
In that spirit, I do not want to name names.------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 6809
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:13 PM
You are healing THROUGH going forward.
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:15 PM
Well, DD,I AM healing in my faltering way.
I am trying to move forward.I have hopes and dreams in life .
I KNOW what they are. I am trying to get to them by doing this i.e. taking off the distortions I have about myself and life.
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 6809
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:17 PM
What keeps you from really doing it?What are your dreams and hopes? What keeps you from making them happen? IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Knowflake Posts: 813
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:17 PM
I think severe trauma is almost like a accident where one loses their legs, especially so if the trauma happens early in life.Time continues on after the accident, the person will live after the accident, but the way in which they live their lives is different than others. They need different assistance.
It takes them longer to process things, to do things, and to achieve their independence.
It's harder at times, for them to battle against feelings of inadequacy in relationships, etc. In spite of being years past the trauma, they will forever have to adapt to the reality of what the trauma took from them. Something about trauma itself alludes to our own mortality and the acceptance of our own weaknesses against the larger elements of life. It's human nature to want to ignore the wound, because if we can conquer it's pain, it has no effect on our own mortality. If the pain is great, if it could conquer us and that is threatening. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Knowflake Posts: 813
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:19 PM
Another real truth is that disabled people have been a target for abuse and neglect for thousands of years.IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 6809
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:19 PM
What would happen, if you actually dared to pursue them now?What is your fear? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:21 PM
OK, DD, I will try to answer that question with more than an amorphous answer.Say you have a child.He can SEE life, himself, what is going on. Say,he has a parent who tells him he is "bad",worthless etc. He, as a child, will usually side with the parent. Then,his self image absorbs these lies. He grows up and thinks he is "bad" and acts in ways to prove it to himself. In time, his self image is coalesced IN to being "bad"
This is what I call distortions. Ok, to heal them--in a word--you must face them but with your heart--NOT your head. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 6809
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:24 PM
"Then,his self image absorbs these lies."But you know that these are lies. You know that it is the perception of your mother, as she communicated to you. Or are you not certain, they are lies`?
Do you still after all in some secret corner of your heart believe she is right? Is that the problem?
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:27 PM
YES YES YES
The heart believes it, DD.
The heart/right side of the brain must heal it.
Only then does it go.
If you study Healing Trauma , it explains the right side of the brain versus the left side.There are many shrinks who KNOW all this stuff but are screwed up ,terribly. That is why. They know it in the left side of the brain/the head. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 12:27 PM
dpIP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:34 PM
sigh
I read all these posts, i understand them all. I'm an aromatherapist/kinesiologist/nutritionalist/aromatherapist/therapist combined amongst a heap of other things and so i KNOW about trauma.This is not trauma. Whatever any psychological pro or even psychiatrist tells you. Trauma manifests on all levels. Your body physically holds onto trauma in your muscles. Trauma is shock, instant to receive and once you find the initial part that it terrorises, its instant to heal just by pressing on the muscle memory. This is something else though and l wish you were receptive to my help :S You know when a parent has trampled you down beyond your essence then you need to risk getting up, otherwise what do you have?
Only by getting up and taking small steps forward can you see that it is ok to stand alone and be in the world. IP: Logged |
Topic Closed
Lindaland
