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Author
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Topic: Trauma ---HOW you process it?
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 07:42 AM
 
I want to ask a question but am not sure HOW to phrase it.
I realized that I had a BIG distortion in my thinking.
I thought that if you had a good home i.e. good parents, you would be "perfect" as far as having good confidence, self esteem etc. At my conference, I realized that many people with less trauma than I had equal lack of confidence and self esteem. Many people at my conference seemed to take what I would call "little things" and these gave them EQUAL lack of confidence to me.
I think this WILL make sense to some people and not others.
IF it makes sense to you, please answer 
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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 07:46 AM
My question is so long. I hope I don't lose you while I am asking the question  I have a Gem Sun, Gem Mercury and Cancer moon in the 8th house.
I am a Scorpio ASC( 12 degrees)
I have Pluto conjunct the MC
Almost all my planets are in the Southern Hemisphere.
I have Saturn conjunct the ASC
Neptune in the 12th Part of my question but I don't want to get to this part ,yet,is that I think my chart SAVED me from being worse than I would have beem with equal amounts of trauma and a harder chart. However, I don't want to discuss "Saving Graces" right now .
I want to hear your opinions on the first question ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 07:47 AM
After all this, maybe no one will know what I am talking about  ------------------
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Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 07:55 AM
Ami,
There is no perfection as there are two many variables in life and also because we all have a mind and a heart. They both contradict and oppose each other because they are independent until we understand and move them to a state of interdependence.
Does this help?btw trauma is not processed. Trauma is experienced and our reaction determines what happens next. If we are of positive bent the trauma dissipates and dissolves. If we are of negative bent, it is stored and re-remembered and built upon with every new trauma like a linked chain.
So we cannot processed something that is merely a memory, and trauma is just that. A MEMORY. Memories can either be remembered or forgotten!
It's just not possible to process trauma after the event!
Hope this helps.
IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 2343
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:03 AM
I was surprised by the number of people who admitted that they were on meds for anxiety or depression, maybe six years ago, on an exercise forum. Their issues weren't necessarily trauma-related.I had both a wonderful child, and a horrible one. I think certain traumas wouldn't have built up in me, had they not been added to by other things (moving, new schools, bullying, and other things - I was practically mute by the time I was eleven, around strangers) I might have been fine. It's difficult for me to explain to others, because I don't understand it myself- especially with my family getting back together when I was fifteen. I really don't get it, other than my not pushing myself into therapy (because I was wary, and didn't trust them to help - my sister was proof hat they weren't always helpful). IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 2343
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:11 AM
I was very positive as a child, but I grew worse, anxiety-wise. When something is happening over and over, and you're already dealing with the after-effects of something else (or more than one thing), your resistance can wear down.I am somehow the same little girl that I was, and a totally different person. I couldn't relate to the confident little girl that i was, for the longest time - I knew that was me, but feeling it is another matter. I don't know how to explain it. IP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 619
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:13 AM
Jeffrey Wolf Green associates trauma to the planet Uranus, so perhaps Uranus's placement and aspects in the chart will show us this. Uranus is in Scorpio, in my 2nd house. I might find myself therefore transformed through trauma and perhaps matters of self-worth bring about a sense of trauma or trauma affects my self worth and value.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:17 AM
YES ,Teasel, you are touching on my question.
It is kind of an amorphous topic .That is why I did not know if anyone would "get" what I was saying.
I do not "get" what I am saying, totally, either lolYOU touched on the many factors that go in to our having lack of self confidence/losing our confidence in our sense of self. You moved several times. I stayed in the same house for my whole life and my parents are still there.
I had the same neighborhood which allowed me to be "part" of other people's families. I had a good extended family. The only nut was my mother The rest,aunts ,uncles, grandparents etc were stable. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:20 AM
What REALLY got me to see this distortion was some of the woman at the conference.
One girl grew up in a stable, religious home but not "sick" religious lol
She was the baby of the family with older brothers.
She was insecure cuz no one listened to her enough.
She felt "passed over"
I was thinking,"Come on. You think THIS is bad"  ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:22 AM
However ,she was as insecure as I was or even more so.
I brought this up in the meeting cuz it was a type of support group thing.
I was thinking that this girl had most of her planets in an introverted hemisphere in the chart while mine are in an extroverted one so I could reach out to others more and as such saved myself from a worse fate.------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 2343
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:25 AM
See, I've been so lucky with my family - so very lucky (maybe too lucky - they gave me a place to land, but I'm not blaming them, before anyone thinks that I am.  )With each move, we met a few great people, and I had a chance to take another step forward. I started to hate moving when I was younger, but now the knowledge that I could move, makes me feel better. I love it here, as long as I don't feel stuck. With moving, the problem was having to get to know new people each time, as I slowly felt myself losing my social skills and doubting myself). I'm tired and I shouldn't still be here, my Bertie's upstairs and I need to check on him. Quinnie, that's interesting about Uranus. I have it natally in the 12th, conjunct ascendant, trine Mars, square Moon, Venus and Nodes, and opposed Ceres/Chiron/Sun. Anxiety grew worse with Saturn and Pluto moving through my 12th, aspecting Aries planets (opposition), Saturn (square), and Saturn conjoining my Pluto before that. They both crossed my ascendant, and I became almost mute - except for when I had to stand up for someone else. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:26 AM
Another woman never married cuz her older brothers always teased her about "no one wanting her"
She was crying as she told the story. Her conditioning made a self fufilling prophecy.
SO, I thought "WHO has more pain--they or I?"
It was not clear to me ,as it used to be when I thought *I* had it the worse That thought was a distortion that I am trying to let go. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:26 AM
Yes, Teasel, after I screwed up by marrying the wrong person, to put it lightly lol, I was never given a soft place to fall.
My mother laughed , mocked me and joined forces with my husband . She loved it I was forced to somehow adapt but I pulled inward instead of getting angry and pushing outward i.e.Pluto IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 2343
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:30 AM
Ami, I missed your other posts. I'll have to come back later on, or tomorrow. I see what you mean about social planets versus introversion - that's why, had I could kick myself, because, had I put myself in another environment every day, like school, or a part-time job (or volunteering), I would have been okay much sooner. Not overnight, but sooner.IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:31 AM
Pain is not a competition. Everyone's feelings are relative so you can't ask the question "who feels the most pain" because it's an objective question  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:32 AM
Dear Quinnie
My Uranus conjuncts Jupiter in Cancer in the 9th house .
God was good to me with Uranus cuz it does not make hard aspects.
It's ONLY aspect is conjunct Jupiter.
However, Uranus is my mother's ruling planet and Uranus got me good through her ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:32 AM
dp.IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:34 AM
Ami,I know you don't care for my posts nor what l say but please listen to this. There is no wrong person. Your ex husband was the right person for you at the time as he held a lesson you needed to learn. Did you learn that lesson? Are you aware of it? I understand fully where you are coming from and it's interesting that we have similar charts (in some ways), similar experiences and yet totally differing views and ways of handling it. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 2343
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:36 AM
You're both reminding me of the Three of Swords in the tarot. It's a card of heartbreak, or truth (sometimes harsh truth), and the swords are about the mind and communication. So, the card sometimes asks "How bad is this really?" Another card, the Nine of Swords, shows someone who can't sleep, thanks to fear or nightmares - I've found that it comes up for times when I'm either worrying about nothing, *or* when I have good reason to be upset, but I can't change the situation. (It isn't always easy to feel acceptance, though - not right away.) The Three of Swords is associated with Saturn in Libra. I can't remember what the Nine is associated with. *edit. There's also the Eight of Swords: feeling trapped, but not necessarily *being* trapped. You think your hands are tied, but you're blind to the way out. The Fairytale Tarot has Rapunzel as the Eight of Swords. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 08:39 AM
You know, the ONLY difference between and emotionally healthy person and an emotionally disturbed one IS distortions.
That is why I am writing about them.
It is very simple but miles and miles away if you cannot access it.
Think about someone who hates themselves. It is ALL distortions.That is why someone else cannot say"You have it all. Be happy. What is wrong with you?"
Their distortions are impinging on their essential self and "driving" the car, so to speak.
They are fine, made by their Creator, NOT a worthless , throw away entity.
It is ONLY the distortions which HOLD them there.
Think of Micheal Jackson, Elvis, etc etc --all the people who had it all but did not Know it or feel it.
That is what distortions will do to you.
That is why I am so much like a dog with a bone, about it lol------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 2343
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:41 AM
I understand. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 371
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:42 AM
quote:
When something is happening over and over, and you're already dealing with the after-effects of something else (or more than one thing), your resistance can wear
down.
Very well said. Trauma isn't just a mind-thing or JUST a memory - then it would be very easy to say; let go let go!
Trauma is as physical as it's a mind-thing.
If you're respressing yourself for many years then one day your body will call you back because there's simply a limit to what the human body can bear. And at that point you HAVE to process, (learn to) listen to your body.
Isn't it? IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 2343
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 08:51 AM
That's right, Mir. At least, for me.I once had a friend of mine tell me, kindly, to "get over it," after I'd tried to explain to her what I'd been dealing with, and how I felt. She'd been in treatment for depression, so she thought she was helping, but she left me feeling crushed. I pushed her, and my other best friend away, so that they wouldn't have to deal with me whilst I was "abnormal" - I had tried to get over it, and I said that to her: "If it were that easy, I would have done it by now!" - but I had been changed by what I'd been through. You reach a point, once you've reached a certain point in recovery, where you wonder what took you so long - you look back and you can see every single opportunity that you had, and how easy it could have been, but that's from the point of view from the now healthier you. By the way Mir, I'm sorry to hear about you and your Pisces.  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 2180
From: South of France
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 09:03 AM
For the people who appreciate this, this stuff is REALLY important cuz it can make the difference between actual life and death.
Even if these distortions do not result in actual death, it can be a death of your hopes, dreams and possibilities.
I think that the people who responded "get " that and that makes me think that we can help each other with this thread . I know that *I* need the help.  ------------------
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Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 09:05 AM
UGH
I give up!
Long live distortions huh?  IP: Logged |
Topic Closed
Lindaland
