posted November 25, 2010 06:23 AM            

or: his sun and venus are on my chiron (possibly AC as well), tight (venus exact). that one i can't put my finger on but i can definitely feel much major mutual healing if we got together. is that what that is?

or maybe it's our respective moons in eachothers' first houses..?

or maybe it's his oppositions involving five planets right on my nodes/saturn?

posted November 25, 2010 06:30 AM            

anyone else have experiences with this, or have heard what effect this usually produces the two people? cuz aside from nodal/saturn and chiron conjunctions, the rest of eachothers' planets are in different signs, which i don't think i've ever noticed happening before (he's 14 years older, so no generational conjunctions either).

posted November 25, 2010 03:11 PM            

so i'll just babble. he's older, successful, warm and relaxed. we also have saturn opposite saturn which i just read an article on and apparently it is very binding and/but forces the couple to work through their restrictions and blockages together. i feel like the chiron-venus conjunction might both accentuate that propensity and also keep the healing aspect of it the main focus. i've never met anyone with venus on my chiron or vice versa and i think it must be that insanely deep sense of natural loving-comfort i felt with him. we also had some ESP i think, several times. his neptune conjuncts my uranus, maybe that is why.

anyway, i'm really curious because it seems like we are very very different in most ways but somehow it all seems to mesh. we hadn't ever even talked before (maybe a hello), but i do know his daughters and am friends with his ex, and we get along quite well. and when we drove together we just talked and talked but with an ease i've never felt before. he even started talking about very personal things, and some of his deeper emotions about those things which is kinda odd for a cap moon i think.

posted November 25, 2010 03:56 PM            

Well, I don't like composites or even Davidsons, too much mathematical default, they always seem to end up with a massive stellium in a house that doesn't fit the timbre of the relationship at all, and then a bunch of Neptune squares. And that's with a real birthtime for both people...with an unknown birthtime, it's pure gibberish. Whereas in synastry with one unknown birthtime, you can still see real relationships between planets, and one-way house overlays.

Post the synastry, with Vertex.

I think it may be less the filling-in-each-other's-empty-houses thing than the age difference, and the place you're at in your life/natal/progressions. That subtle, deep connection and his civility reminds me of something I felt for a guy with that age difference. I thought we might be in love, until we drifted apart and I met the Aries and realized I'd never really been in love before. But this guy and I are still friends, we love each other in a nice way.

We have a lot of tight "easy" aspects (a Sun-Venus trine, Mars-Venus sextile)....but I think the key to the particular connection might've been my North Node conjunct his Saturn. Although our romantic connection is gentle, there's a lot of intensity for me around the connection with him and my career path. He's like this other version of me, and I learned a lot fast from him.

Also--his Neptune is conjunct my MC. His Chiron is conjunct my antivertex, my Chiron is conjunct his DC.

I wonder if you and this guy also have your NN to his Saturn? That could pretty much define learning things/having a new kind of connection that guides you with an older man.

posted November 25, 2010 04:01 PM            

Filling in each other's missing houses it feels in a sense as if you're more complete around the other. They don't hand deliver experience to you, but through their experience you feel a part of it, like living vicariously, because the feeling lasts only when they're around.

On your Chiron his Sun/Venus would feel prob great initially and later it may end up as you feeling wounded.
All Venus/Chiron conj I see, or Chiron conj a major like Sun/Moon/Venus ends up in pain for Chiron. This is just my experience. It can feel healing to Chiron, but when it goes bad it's like all the lights are out and there never was any warmth there, ever.

I wouldn't count his Uranus/Pluto on your Saturn cos it's generational, but I would count Saturn opp Saturn as very very karmic in feeling, esp with his Saturn conj your SN, huge deal.

His Venus sq your Jupiter plays in here, because Jupiter will make you overexcited in his presence, wanting to give him things (Jupiter) that he doesnt want (Venus) so watch that tendency to go overboard with him, cos on some level he's not gonna be receptive to it.

What time did you use for his chart?

I guess his Venus is sq Mars/Uranus tho it's hard to see. That fits in with your Aqua sun/mars. But he'd have problems with timing with Venus/mars square, trying to initiate romance or closeness at a time when he'd be rejected, etc. Ditto on the Mars conj Uranus, and your similarity with Mars in Aqua, so there is common ground there with excitement.

posted November 25, 2010 04:09 PM            

The key--his Sun- your IC (even if that's a wide orb, you would feel that)...and, sorry, I'm rotten at reading charts without degrees on them, but it looks like South Node stuff--am I reading that right? Your SN, his Saturn. His SN, your Neptune?

posted November 25, 2010 04:19 PM            

Like with all the outer planets, in transits or synastry or even the natal--don't try fighting Saturn, Neptune, or Pluto.

posted November 25, 2010 08:46 PM            

i dunno if i (or his chart) gave off the impression that he's a cad or something, but he really is not. he takes really good care of his daughters and even his ex who is mentally ill and everyone i know who knows him says he's such a kind, respectful guy. he was with his ex for many years and stuck with her a long time even though she was very unhealthy and then briefly got married after they broke up a few years ago (which he later realized had more to do with them having broken up and it wasn't what was healthiest for him).

i dunno what to think now, hmm. it really seemed like a good thing and that our connection was pretty sweet and now i feel bummed. i had heard venus/chiron was super sweet and healing. oh well. if i take this to heart i'll just be waiting for it to crash and burn.

posted November 25, 2010 09:42 PM            

quote:

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sad at already having pain and breaking up with the guy before it even starts...

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Well, there's no reason to make ANY romantic decisions based on inexactly-timed birth chart readings from strangers on an astrology website. Ever! It's like chopping off both totally cancer-free breasts because of a single test for the breast cancer gene. Only, with a waaay less reliable test.

Someone's love life being complicated doesn't mean they're not a great person. When I said there must be a reason that even with all that earth and as old as he is, he doesn't have a happy, stable marriage, I meant something exactly like: "he is still heavily entangled with a mentally-ill ex, and got himself into a hasty, short-lived rebound marriage." That's stuff you already know, not anything that would be revealed with the lift of Neptune-fog.

Neptune-wise, I am always suspicious of the "mentally-ill spouse and wonderful, loyal, sane spouse" thing...it almost never works like that. People's psychodynamics in a relationship are complicatedly mutual, in my opinion. I do think there are Pisces-Saturn red flags with him (that, as old as he is, he turned a rebound relationship into a full-on marriage, instead of, say, waiting six years until the relationship was truly solid before making that sort of commitment)...but each relationship has its own dynamics, many much more interesting and unfathomable than a quick glance at a synastry chart can show.

quote:

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i had heard venus/chiron was super sweet and healing.

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posted November 25, 2010 10:08 PM            

but you and lonake are right. it's better to know what i am or could be getting into. definitely. and yeah i guess it is very likely that it is neptune fog/rose coloured glasses, and probably his sun/venus near my IC/4th (as we previous discussed..).

i'm gonna try to not feel bummed and then come back and hopefully have a better reply for you guys. a big part of me wants to go for it, and a small part of me is all like woah. i think he is very much relationship-oriented and admits it was hasty and foolish of him to jump into marriage after breaking up with his ex. he reflected on that and it felt very much like he's gotten his head together in that department.

posted November 25, 2010 10:41 PM            

quote:

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but you and lonake are right. it's better to know what i am or could be getting into.

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But...another thing with Neptune goggles--sometimes the relationship can lead you in some beautiful direction beyond your current imagination. It just might not be what you think, at the beginning. It doesn't mean that the truth you don't see in the beginning is "bad"--it just means you don't see it at the beginning.

So maybe it's NOT better to know what you could be getting into. Especially because you can't know anyway. You've got to trust your own thoughts and feelings.

For me, posting on Lindaland about a relationship at all (unless it's long over) is a huge red flag--I seriously doubt that's true for you, with your solar Aqua stellium. But sometimes I think it isn't the best idea for anybody at the onset of a relationship, that we should all wait a year to start checking out the synastry...sometimes analyzing it in the abstract that way takes away from the freshness and surprise of the real relationship. But then again, what is astrology for?

posted November 25, 2010 10:59 PM            

yeah i didn't even actually want to look at the synastry particularly, (nor post it!) but he wanted me to do his chart, so i kinda couldn't help it. posting it and analyzing it is my aqua running away with me. endlessly curious am i!

it's so weird, though. i think it took us both by surprise, these feelings. or something. i'm not really sure how it happened; we just sorta clicked into it. and referred to the sort of fated events that brought us into eachothers' company, which felt strangely natural to us both. hmm. i mean all relationships are different and start differently of course, but there is something about this one that feels totally out of the ordinary (nothing like i've experienced) and almost too comfortable. or, so comfortable that it scares me. we just felt so comfy and relaxed together and caught all these subtle things and seemed to nurture eachother in every moment. if that makes any sense. i am usually very silly and either very talkative or shy and with him i felt no compulsion in those directions because i felt like he just got me. he even got my humour fully which is rare, and yet i didn't have to overcompensate with it, as i'm prone to doing (when the connection lacks) and i could excecute it subtly and in totally non neurotically.

i think it also weirds me out that he is successful, monetarily, and has a good, creative job that he loves (probably self worth issues; enter chiron!). and it feels like entering a relationship with him would be serious indeed and i want to be careful because i feel like it would go that way fast if we follow up on those feelings. we had the most lovely, knowing eye contact, many many times, and it felt very serious. hmmm.

i love what you said about neptune. he is rather neptunian, and with my SN there and the oppos, i can't exactly DO anythign but ride it out and let it take us where it will as we try to keep focused on swimming upstream, making the dream/ideal reality.

but yeah i mostly was just curious about the almost entirely different flavours of our charts, and the chiron bit, and if those two reasons could explain this comfort i have with him. i feel bare with him, SEEN, and it feels mutual. there is a stillness that goes along with it that makes it comfortable and pleasant, though. it's the oddest thing.

posted November 25, 2010 11:49 PM            

His AC conj your IC. Both of you feel the deep connection of home harmony.

I think its interesting with the aspect
in your house 12, Your neptun conj AC trine his sun in his house 12 conj his AC. That bring the feeling of mystic and karma between you and him..

posted November 26, 2010 12:09 AM            

I think you're just sensitive to it that's all (this new relationship/man/etc.), which comes across.

posted November 26, 2010 02:34 AM            

actually, that's another thing that sorta worries me; his saturn on my SN and you reminded me of that. what do you make of it? IS it karmic, and is it sort of 'tying up loose ends' or something? that's how it felt with this other dude, but again we had those other nodal conjunctions as well.

i'm curious though, even though uranus/pluto on my saturn is generational, don't you think it's kinda cool that some random older guy has that with me as well as saturn opp saturn AND uranus conj neptune? it seems like too many conjunctions/oppositions to be quite 'random' or generational, in my opinion, kwim? or maybe i'm wrong. i've been, plentily.

that's interesting that you bring in and point out our affinities. are you saying his uranian issues would prevent him from being forward or sticking with something? he seems like such a steady dude but on the other hand he seemed quite shy in a certain way, EVEN THOUGH he was also quite vocal about interest for me (not especially directly, but still obviously- which i'm assuming is how mercury in aries must express). i kinda get the sense this is possible (if i get what you're saying), or that he was waiting for me to make a move or something.

i am not sure of the time to use. he says somewhere around 6 so i tried it and he really felt venus first house to me, and has a strong presence so i'm thinking maybe even sun/venus in the first, but i still think he's taurus rising, not aries. i did the chart with 545.

thanks for the neptune opp/squares warning. i find it very strange and interesting that it conjoins my natal uranus and i'm trying to figure out HOW said possible deception will/could manifest and how it ties in with my uranus.