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Author
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Topic: refusal to apologise
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lechien
Knowflake Posts: 664
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
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posted January 18, 2011 08:14 AM
  
what makes a person never, or unless specifically persuaded to, apologise? my partner is like that. because he doesn't just simply admit or sympathise and say sorry, i have to give lengthy explanations, and of course he criticises it as a big fault of my nature. in the end he would say "of course i understand your point of view" but never apologise. it always feels like he "wins" the argument no matter what. i swear it has built up a deep-rooted resentment in me... he is a Virgo Stellium with Capricorn AC... also his Saturn is in the 1st house, although in Aquarius. could it be that? what else could give someone this super annoying tendency? IP: Logged |
Dreamy_AriesGirl
Knowflake Posts: 55
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 18, 2011 09:25 AM
"it always feels like he "wins" the argument no matter what."my SO is the same 
He's a double Scorp.
I've already given up forcing him to say sorry, unless it's a big issue or something very important to me. But,i always tell him if im not satiesfied with his behaviour and im very sure that he gets these messages, so i just accept him wanting to be in controll all the time. IP: Logged |
snarly
Knowflake Posts: 63
From: u.k
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 18, 2011 09:53 AM
My OH is a Leo, and will never, ever apologise. When he's wrong, he'll make up some excuse about it being someone else's fault that he was wrong  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 5498
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 18, 2011 10:45 AM
I think Fire does not apologize in the traditional way LOL
They will show some concession but not apologize with words as an Air sign would.
It is strange for me cuz I will fall all over myself,apologizing.
I want to demand that of a Fire sign but I try to listen to my heart and not make a Fire sign be an Air sign.
Perhaps ,the Fire sign has different rules.
However,even without words,I will,usually,feel the apology not hear it.
If I am quiet inside,it will be enough.I will not need to demand for the words. Does anyone understand what I mean  ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
milyi
Knowflake Posts: 158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 18, 2011 03:27 PM
My brother is a Taurus with Scorpio rising. He doesn't apologise. I keep teasing him: " C'mon just say it, I was wrong and you were right! I know you can do it." He can't .I think it's a fixed sign thing. They don't apologise. IP: Logged |
dysfunctionalmystic
Knowflake Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 18, 2011 03:31 PM
I'm a leo with an aries moon and I never apologise.I generally don't do anything to apologise for... if I upset someone I do it deliberately lol and therefore I won't say sorry. If I accidentally upset someone I don't say sorry if I think they are being petty and I never say it just because someone wants to hear it if I don't mean it. I do say sorry if it's an accident or I forget something important and I didn't mean to.
I think fire sign philosophy can lean towards - don't do anything you'll regret/never regret anything you do...but saying that I've known loads of sagittarians that will apologise at the drop of a hat IP: Logged |
staborgi
Knowflake Posts: 363
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 18, 2011 03:37 PM
FIXED SIGNSIP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 664
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
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posted January 18, 2011 03:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
if I upset someone I do it deliberately lol and therefore I won't say sorry.
you naughty! actually there was a period my partner kept pointing out how "i" just never apologise. i have lots of fire in my chart. but after he repeated it for a while, i learnt to do it. and now i'm noticing he's just like that himself!  he can appear very authoritarian and i think it makes his avoiding the "apology word" even more annoying. i think my fire-y nature wants to have it black & white.  IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 361
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
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posted January 18, 2011 03:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
I'm a leo with an aries moon and I never apologise.I generally don't do anything to apologise for... if I upset someone I do it deliberately lol and therefore I won't say sorry. If I accidentally upset someone I don't say sorry if I think they are being petty and I never say it just because someone wants to hear it if I don't mean it. I do say sorry if it's an accident or I forget something important and I didn't mean to.
I think fire sign philosophy can lean towards - don't do anything you'll regret/never regret anything you do...but saying that I've known loads of sagittarians that will apologise at the drop of a hat
:laughing you have just described me, dysfunctionalmystic.(Aries ASC/Aris Moon / Virgo Sun)
IP: Logged |
blonderiverkat
Moderator Posts: 581
From: Tri-Sate Area, USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted January 18, 2011 04:09 PM
My youngest son is a Cancer, and he has a hard time with the 'S' word...on the other hand, my mom is a Libra, such as me, we even share a birthday...she NEVER apologizes...so it has to be something within her other aspects...I don't recall them at the time...haven't done a chart for her...IP: Logged |
nordicsoul
Knowflake Posts: 104
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 09:46 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I think Fire does not apologize in the traditional way LOL
They will show some concession but not apologize with words as an Air sign would.
It is strange for me cuz I will fall all over myself,apologizing.
I want to demand that of a Fire sign but I try to listen to my heart and not make a Fire sign be an Air sign.
Perhaps ,the Fire sign has different rules.
However,even without words,I will,usually,feel the apology not hear it.
If I am quiet inside,it will be enough.I will not need to demand for the words. Does anyone understand what I mean
this is really an insightful way of seing it. Thank you!!! it helps me to deal with my frustration of waiting for apologies IP: Logged |
Valerie_Knight
Knowflake Posts: 30
From: China
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted January 19, 2011 09:53 AM
onli peeple who no dat dey are wrong dun apologize. peeple who r reely smart apologize when dey mak a mistak becuz dey dun make many mistakez. a person who makez mistakez all da time aint ever gonna admit it. i think dat dey are dumb in da headIP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1522
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 11:57 AM
Hey.. I will apologize if Im wrong...My Virgo ex husband, never apologized to me once in 10 years, saying only "thats not how I meant it" "Your Wrong, I didnt mean it like that," (he would tell me, my preception was wrong, and basically thats my own fault.. end of subject.) IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 199
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted January 19, 2011 12:00 PM
My ex was leo asc, aries sun and scorpio moon. He NEVER apologised either. Not even when it really mattered, he was incrediably cold about it.Sparkling IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1522
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 12:05 PM
I think its just the male Hormone that doesnt have the apology aspect... Instead they just fix **** ! IP: Logged |
blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 240
From: Portland, OR USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 12:40 PM
Leo Sun
Sag Moon
Leo Mercury
Cancer Venus
Leo Mars
Leo Pluto. Ugh. Just shoot me now. My dad has always been like this. Instead of apologizing, he turns it around on everyone else and is like "it's your fault" and "You made me act like that". So annoying. IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 6038
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 19, 2011 01:07 PM
seems to me the archer girl, sag sun/aries moon, just proved thisI think Fire does not apologize in the traditional way LOL wrong. it's easy to say "sorry" in fact all children learn quite young that it will get you lots of brownie points, and many use it that way throughout their lives. more important to me is to admit sometimes that others may be right and i, wrong...sincerely. the actual words aren't the most important part. IP: Logged |
mochai
Knowflake Posts: 408
From: Charon
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 04:42 PM
I used to apologize so often that it annoyed people to the degree that some people really couldn't really be around me.
Leo asc sag sun taurus moon.Also, you guys are making me realize how spoilt I've been romantically. If a guy didn't know how to apologize I'd probably explain my sentiments and never see him again. If he asked I'd tell him our values were too different. IP: Logged |
TrueTaurus
Newflake Posts: 21
From: California
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 05:04 PM
An Arian. Yes it makes sense that fixed signs don't. But I apologize when I feel as if I've done something wrong or feel bad. I have a Taurus Sun and Scorpio Moon, Taurus Mercury, so I'm very fixed. But I'm always first to apologize. Those who can easily see it from others' perspective find it easier to let go and say sorry. Those who believe they're always right don't make this effort.IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 395
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 05:08 PM
quote:
what makes a person never, or unless specifically persuaded to, apologise?
In my experience:
Mercury in Aries (That's the NO.1 placement)
Mercury in Leo (Close second) Mercury conjunct Sun (Similar to Leo Mercury.. protective of their ego) Mercury conjunct Mars (Similar to Aries Mercury.. They can be under the honest impression they are simply always right.)
IP: Logged |
TrueTaurus
Newflake Posts: 21
From: California
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 05:11 PM
That seems right, Betty BoopIP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1522
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 05:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
In my experience:
Mercury in Aries (That's the NO.1 placement)
Mercury in Leo (Close second) Mercury conjunct Sun (Similar to Leo Mercury.. protective of their ego) Mercury conjunct Mars (Similar to Aries Mercury.. They can be under the honest impression they are simply always right.)
HEY......
LOL...
I have Mercury in Leo, and Mercury conjunct Sun (also Moon) all in Leo I can apologize but yes at times it can be hard.. But when I really need to I will and have no qualms about it.. I do know when I am wrong... I will admit it, (secretly though) not publicly. But I will it with STYLE!! lol
IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 395
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 05:27 PM
Hi Lioness - Do you have a Pisces AC?I mean we can all pin point placements, as I just did -- but I'm aware that other things in someone's chart can counter or support those tendencies. Another poster here (hey T.....! if you see this) - has Mars in Pisces "dispositing" (is that a word?) her Aries Mercury - and she seems very unlike other Aries Mercury people I know. IP: Logged |
dysfunctionalmystic
Knowflake Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 07:09 PM
So how about the signs that say sorry at the drop of a hat but don't mean it?I did a lot of thinking about apologies in general a few weeks ago and I never reached a conclusion... it is a big part of social conditioning and I had wondered what was really behind the word "sorry". People who commit adultery will often use it and then do the same thing again so they obviously weren't sorry. I've got a 9th house merc in leo that trines an aries moon + chiron , squares mars,opposes jupiter,quintiles uranus and novile to pluto, I'm seriously philosophical and I honestly find it hard to lie about anything and by that I mean I just can't say something I don't mean. I'm pretty deep when it comes to thinking and will look at subconscious motivations and I've learned that things are often not as they seem. Apologies can be very complex - and it is an ego thing in the sense that sometimes people will try to extract "sorry" when it's not in the best interest of the person giving it. Ethics and values play a part and why should anyone have to apologise because they get misinterpreted or misunderstood? To say sorry because its expected or just because you are asked is not ethical in my book, it takes a little bit of courage to stand your ground and it can be too easy to give in and throw a word that ultimately means nothing. If I ever do say it then I mean it with all my heart. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1522
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 19, 2011 07:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Hi Lioness - Do you have a Pisces AC?
Yeap IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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