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Author Topic:   Ever feel jealous of a person who's synestry is soulfully suited for your mate?
danjor73
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From: Philadelphia, PA
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posted February 04, 2011 05:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have been studying our charts, but could not help but remember a Leo my Gemini showed a very high level of interest in, but she never gave him the time of day.

After generating their charts and getting a composite interpretation, I have found that their union would be magical and soulful. Deeply rooted in love.

It is amazing how two individuals that don't readily show emotions can unite and become emotional together?

I can't help but feel threatened by this. It may be best that I move on. I don't feel his passion for me will ever run as deep as her.

Has anyone else experienced this? Can you please be transparent? I'm sure it will help others.

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Lonake
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posted February 04, 2011 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wanna see the lovey dovey synastry charts

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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ugggh Lonake! And rapture my pain? lol

No really, I have been through so much in life, I have learned to accept whatever may come. I just have to learn to lean on self more and have more emotional control.

The charts are coming right up

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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 06:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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starzy54
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posted February 04, 2011 07:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I thought i was the only person to think about something like that lol

My partner has a Venus in Aquarius,and lots of Gemini predominate in his chart and is highly social with people including tons of female friends.I tend to check his synastry with these females..and they dont have perfect aspects with him but have some aspects that are better than i have with him,like Venus trine Venus,and Venus Conjuct Jupiter,These women though don't find him attractive and actually treat him unkindly,which hurts him.I was a BIT envious of some of the nice aspects he held with other women,but in the end,he's mine and thats all that matters lol

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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 08:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I bet there are a few others in lalaland . Although he has a lot of female aquaintances, I have only looked to the Leo and his long-term ex who is a Gemini born 4 days apart in the same year. So do you see why my inquisitive nature is in full swing?

I am honored to be a part of his life because he has such drive and dynamic energy. He has a destiny far beyond the limits his insecurities have set for him. He would very well say the same about
me.

My feelers came out and led me to ask this question because he seems to be either pulling away from me or closing himself off even more due to external factors.



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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 08:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oops - sorry for the triple posts. I was submitting from my blackberry on the subway.


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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 08:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
???

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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 08:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
...


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vertiver
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posted February 04, 2011 08:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for vertiver     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by starzy54:
I was a BIT envious of some of the nice aspects he held with other women,but in the end,he's mine and thats all that matters lol

Ugh, natal & synastry astrology only show a potential, in fact you can have amazing synastry with someone, but if they are immature and just not ready for a relationship it can just fizzle out like so many things. Plus, uh, physical attraction is a big factor too.

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Capriquarius
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posted February 04, 2011 08:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Capriquarius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm so glad I'm not alone in feeling this way! My current love interest has several trines in his synastry with a girl that he was interested in a few years ago but never seemed to have culminated into a full relationship with. They have:

His Chiron in 10 Taurus trine her Sun in 13 Capricorn

His Moon in 26 Taurus trine her Venus in 28 Capricorn

His Juno in 29 Cancer opposing her Venus in 28 Capricorn (I've read that hard Juno aspects are favorable for marriage...?)

His Venus in 5 Capricorn conjunct (by wide orb) her Sun in 13 Capricorn

His Mars in 5 Virgo trine (by wide orb) her Sun in 13 Capricorn

Her Chiron in 23 Taurus conjunct his Moon in 26 Taurus

His Moon in 26 Taurus trine her Moon in 22 Virgo


The only undesirable aspect they have is his Mercury in 20 Scorpio square her Mars in 22 Aquarius.

Plus they share common interests and career paths, and she is his physical type. He can get in touch with her any time he wants so I feel pretty threatened! And I would feel threatened even if I didn't know about their synastry.

Good to know I'm not the only neurotic one in this regard.

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Moons Of Jupiter
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posted February 04, 2011 09:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moons Of Jupiter     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Amen, there are others out there!!

Not that I'm happy for your jealousy, just happy to let you know you're not alone.

I used to do this all the time. I have a friend with whom ALL of my male interests have been MORE compatible than with me. It drove me so jealous astrologically, and then you realize that these people who share similar/compatible energy are all in YOUR life because they have something in common to share with YOU.

At some point you realize that destiny is not determined by astrology, instead you use your astrology to help shape yourself FOR your destiny.

Also, don't necessarily always fantasize about there being 'other women' when your man is pulling away from you. Respect the process and his love for you more than that, he may genuinely be going through something. Especially a Gemini with a great destiny (that sounds so much like my former relationship and how I felt about him).

Good luck to you.

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Lucia23
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posted February 04, 2011 09:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Short answer--yes!! I have!!!

But I think it's VERY useful for people with the opposite problem--(the ones who post on LL every couple of months with a new synastry and they're like, "Even though this Scorpio has a wife and barely says hello to me, you can tell he's my Twin Flame because my asteroid Desperate Delsusion conjuncts his draconic asteroid Briede! Why is he running away from me?")--to regularly check their synastry with people they aren't at all attracted to, like they're grandma, random strangers of the sex they're not into, etc....and VERY useful to regularly look at the synastries of people who don't know each other, like, say, Liza Minelli's synastry with Abe Lincoln.

Because if you look at enough synastries, you learn that they can be somewhat helpful as a step three...after carefully analyzing the natals and then considering the natals in relationship to what is actually happening in real life. Synastry will not show you whether someone likes, loves, or wants you or how your relationship will go.

It only shows how the dynamics are likely to play out, and should be considered in light of real life. I have really beautiful synastry with one of my best friend's boyfriends, for example--"better" than theirs (I don't have his permission to post it, he is has secretive Pluto stuff happening lol)....but because he and I are both super-loyal people and he is in a happy long-term relationship with someone dear to me who he met eight years before we met each other, and I am in love with someone else, our dynamics play out platonically instead of romantically.

Anyway, I agree with Moons of Jupiter. If you are worried about a lover pulling away, try to focus on your love for him and the unique relationship between you. Try to communicate, chill out, and send it healing vibes. There will always be millions of people on the planet with magical synastry who don't hook up...people with tricky or mediocre synastry who do. See the synastry not as part of a heirarchy (like couple A has "great" synastry, couple B "bad")...because each relationship is completely unique.

Natals/synastry are a map, not the territory.

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Lucia23
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posted February 04, 2011 09:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also Danjor73, composites are based on midpoints and with a fake birthtime for both your guy and this Leo, the composite you drew up for them is completely wrong and inaccurate anyway.

You can tell a tiny bit about their synastry with fake birth times, but only aspects between slow-moving planets really--without angles and house overlays, you can't see much.

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danjor73
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From: Philadelphia, PA
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posted February 04, 2011 09:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
True Lucia. I'm still learning and right now only see the framework - i.e how birth time affects the rising sign drastically... how birth year seems to stay in keeping with pluto, uranus and other aspects which allows me to understand how Gem, his ex Gem and I - all born in 1973 - relate to each other in a broad sense.

So yes, I agree the charts are broad and the default birth time of 12pm has muddied the details - but Gem doesn't know hi (I asked)... and asking the Leo for her birth time would be like trying to meet a bunch of friends for a game of Gin Rummy at the Pentagon on a whim.

I have a looooot to study and understand! <3

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Lucia23
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posted February 04, 2011 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, ew, don't get the Leo's birth info. Be glad you don't have it!

Start by looking very closely at your own natal for ways to make yourself happy and fight tendencies you're unhappy about. I know how tempting it is to delve into synastry/composites when a relationship feels shaky...BELIEVE me I know!...but try to find a constructive thing to do instead, because it never seems to actually help.

When you focus/obsess about a rival, one of two things happens:
-worst-case scenario: your man starts finding you waaay less apealing because he picks up at some level on your desperate energy
-best-case scenario: your man continues to find you appealing, but you feel unhappy and yucky anyway because your desperate energy makes you unappealing to yourself.

Either of those are waaayyy less good than scenarios like: You feel self-confident and understand that you are completely unique. You address the problems in your relationship by trying to open up to and really listen to your partner, and by putting your energy into lots of healthy things you love.

I actually wish I'd spent all the hours I've spent obsessively looking at charts doing something like, mastering a new language. Or making out with the guy whose chart I was obsessing over.

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Lucia23
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posted February 04, 2011 10:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Good to know I'm not the only neurotic one in this regard.

I'm like a psycho. And I'm ALWAYS sorry when I go there!

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JohnFKennedy
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posted February 04, 2011 10:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JohnFKennedy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I totally did this once and the stupid misery I felt afterwards SO wasn't worth it. Which made it all the more jarring was that the girl in question had her Sun/Moon combination flipped from mine, so I thought, "oh God, she probably has the better combination!!" really such an unnecessary amount of emotion gets vested into these charts. I've made a vow to myself not to look at the charts of people I know or know of unless they give me their birth time or now about my astrological "pursuits", so to speak. And even then..

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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 10:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lucia23:
[B]Short answer--yes!! I have!!!

But I think it's VERY useful for people with the opposite problem--(the ones who post on LL every couple of months with a new synastry and they're like, "Even though this Scorpio has a wife and barely says hello to me, you can tell he's my Twin Flame because my asteroid Desperate Delsusion conjuncts his draconic asteroid Briede! Why is he running away from me?")--to regularly check their synastry with people they aren't at all attracted to, like they're grandma, random strangers of the sex they're not into, etc....and VERY useful to regularly look at the synastries of people who don't know each other, like, say, Liza Minelli's synastry with Abe Lincoln.

Neuroticism and jealousy aside. I think such undertakings have more to do with individual perspective and what one hopes to gain from analysis (growth or demoralization). I for one do not go into checking the charts of everyone I come across outside of the relationship, nor do I check in on every friend or lover he has or has had or I have and had in the past.

I just think the very reality of these performances and how we can seek to understand such behavior is fruitful. Genuinely being open to possibiliies of higher or more intense unions and being secure and ok with self and the value of our own synergies with current mates may help promote self growth, love and awareness.

So it may prove to me that if I understand the reasons behind connections, I can feel exalted in that understanding and empowered to encourage a partners continuation of their own journey towards higher self - whether alone or with a more harmonious union.

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danjor73
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posted February 04, 2011 10:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
I'm like a psycho. And I'm ALWAYS sorry when I go there!


LOL so true! I am working on keeping a cap on my tendencies to go too deep.

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Lonake
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posted February 04, 2011 11:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Her Mars conj his Sun,
the Sun tends to go crazy on that one,
ay,
I remember more than a few times a Libra man showing interest in me whose Sun was on my Mars, I found him so repulsive.

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danjor73
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posted February 05, 2011 12:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh wow Lonake! I hear you.

I have seen him try "desperately" to get her attention and it did look a bit lame, but I don't think he realized it. I could tell he was caught up in the idea of her actually paying attention to him. Mind you she has over a 1,000 male associates on a social networking site that I won't give the pleasure of promoting. lol

If he captures her with his humor, he may stand a chance. Otherwise, forget it aka likely repulsion

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Lonake
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posted February 05, 2011 01:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well if so he was likely thinking with his d!ck and not much else if I may be so blunt.
Sun/Mars is animalistic sexual instinct and nothing else.
(Well it could also be a drive to get things accomplished if the 2 in question are not romantically inclined, it could also point to battery or rape if adversely aspected either natally or in synastry, but it would have to be something really ugly)
Looking at the synastry they don't have many connections altho birth time may say something different.
But the people have the final say, not the charts

Edited.

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Lonake
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posted February 05, 2011 01:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is he kinda awkward anyway>? Sun/Saturn sq Mars?
Looks for ways to affirm his masculinity through.....not traditionally accepted avenues?
Or impotence, lack of drive?
And it's sq to Pluto?
I dunno. He has some frustration built up.

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danjor73
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posted February 05, 2011 02:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for danjor73     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is he kinda awkward anyway>? Sun/Saturn sq Mars?
Looks for ways to affirm his masculinity through.....not traditionally accepted avenues?
Or impotence, lack of drive?
And it's sq to Pluto?
I dunno. He has some frustration built up.

Yes you are dead on. He starts off every conversation with a eeerlo instead of hello. Pretty hesitant, but once he gets in character he chats away.

He is also awkward when we see each other after being apart for a while. He is a photographer and song writer that has been driving trucks for the pas 13 yrs. Not living out his potential. Very good Cappy work ethic though. I admire that immensely.

Wow spot on!

Yep looks for ways to affirm himself all the time. I asked him about his sexuality on occasion. He has what seems to be a masochist streak and I triggered it a few times... just being bantering inquisitive old me. He identifies with characters and humor and worships Michael Jackson. Let's just say he is like Peter Pan in some ways. Very wise though - or at least seemingly.

He does try and keep me in my place intellectually though and tries to dominate the conversation. I find internal humor in this. cute I guess.

Yep frustration is heavily built up. I think the closer I get to revealing who is truly is and unearthing emotions, he starts distancing.

Impotence... no - he has a very healthy sex drive. Just very tired all the time due to working 10 to 14 hr. days on the road.

Not certain what you mean by not traditionally accepted avenues.

As far as impotence - I was with a Scorp who had low drive and found me hard to talk to. lol

I also talked briefly with two diff. Gemini men from California and learned they were into transexuals. My Gem and I spoke briefly on the subject and he said he had no interest or interest in men. I still wonder if he is struggling in this area.

Early in the relationship he always though I was emasculating him. And would stress he is a man not a child. We have since gotten beyond the struggle though.

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