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Author Topic:   Sisters
Anicia
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2009

posted March 04, 2011 01:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Anicia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello.
I guess this would just be an extreme case of sibling rivalry but I was wondering if someone could help me with the problem since it's just been increasing lately. I'm completely fed up at the moment and could use some advice on how to ease the issue.

My sister and I are 10 years apart in age. I'm the youngest. We're not much alike. She likes to be the center of attention. I like to do my own thing. She seems to always put us in competition with each other.

When the spotlight (aka our parent's attention..) is on my brother or myself, she becomes very difficult to be around. She picks fights, and becomes obnoxious (As an example, a few years ago she made it a point not to go to my graduation or graduation party and left the house with her husband/children making a huge scene over a bent cupcake holder.)

Even when there isn't that kind of issue she likes to cut me off (even when I wasn't having the conversation with her..) and goes out of her way to disagree with whatever it is I was saying, even if it doesn't make sense.

This is just the tip of the iceberg though. It just seems like she almost has to fight with me.

I'm just sick of the constant tension. Any comments will be appreciated..

I'm in the middle

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Lonake
Moderator

Posts: 3374
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 04, 2011 03:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Right away I saw her Gemini Mercury in square to your Mars/Asc especially, Venus as well, and also your Mercury. The Mercury square Mars aspect is one of the classic argumentative aspects in synastry. You two actually have double whammy Venus square Mercury, which could show lack of appreciation for the way the other one relates/dresses/expresses themselves. The Mercury/Mars is one of those hair trigger argumentative responses, you can see this at work in a lot of natals as well. As it's your Mars in Virgo it's likely that you instigate the tension through being nitpicky and/or critical, something in that vein, and it throws her off and to get you back in line so to speak her Mercury swerves in and around and through it running circles around you that would likely make your head spin. Her Mercury squares your Asc as well, so it reinforces that she basically doesn't like your Earthy style, possibly finding you a stick in the mud, and would rather you be more facile/easygoing like her (in the mental realm). Look at your own Sun opposed Saturn for more clues on being critical that may be rubbing her the wrong way.

There's more. Your Mercury is square to her Uranus (which is opposed her own Mercury) so you're negatively locking into her mental tension already. Uranus never tries to make nice, it's gotta say what it's gotta say and says it now (Sagittarius) not later, so her natal opposition isn't interested in smoothing things over/being diplomatic.

Her dramatic outbursts can be seen in the Leo Moon conj Asc, this likely drives you up the wall being Aquarius Moon, since you'd like her to get some perspective on things, to step outside of herself.
She has really horrible inner tension actually, the Leo Moon/Asc square the Taurus Sun in the 10th. Horrible because it's fixed, meaning she knows her own mind, and however she is now, she is not going to change. So it's heartbreaking if you would like there to be a 2 way discussion going on and they're just not going for it because they can't see beyond themselves. She has strong 1st house plus 10th, so it is pretty much all about her (adding in leo moon on asc, mars on mc, etc.).

There's also rebellion going on: your Pluto is opposing her Sun (and thus squaring her Moon). She's already sensitive to perceived boundaries (the Mercury opp Uranus) but in her mind, you're coming along and trying to run the show. And she's just not going to put up with it and will fight you every step of the way. She sees it as you trying to pigeonhole her, to box her into a corner, literally she sees you as very controlling. And then as a result you may see her as very uncooperative and argumentative (just isolating Sun Moon Pluto here), so you end up feeling like 'i just don't want to argue with you,' and in her mind it's you that started the argument. You have to understand that she's pushing up against you for a reason, because to her it feels like you're bearing down on her. In fixed signs, it must be very unpleasant for both.

You both have Leo as a luminary, the problem of pride getting in the way, plus they like to run the show.
You both have Sun/Moon as Fixed
You both have Mars angular
You both have Pluto in the 3rd
This plus the aspects, it just all adds up to a big case of wasted energy. If you guys can't play nice then just avoid, because nothing good will come of this unless you both make a commitment to change your behaviors, and that would require honest communication and an open ear from both sides. I don't see it happening, personally, but it could if you own your part and she sees a reason to take off her blinders. The one way it could work, is by meeting her via that Mars/Mars trine. Earthy energy that just says it plainly, let's look beyond this and just start again, no drama no controlling no b.s. just plain speaking since that's what earth signs need. Doing that would play into your synastric earth grand trine and it could act as a buffer. Not that it won't falter now and again, but there will be a comfort there, like a rock as they say, a stability there that you can each keep coming back to. But it's your choice.

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popcorn
Knowflake

Posts: 2049
From:
Registered: Aug 2009

posted March 04, 2011 10:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for popcorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Anicia. You dont must love your sister just now. It's better to listening to what you feel. If I was you I avoid.

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Anicia
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2009

posted March 04, 2011 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Anicia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you.
I honestly don't see us having an actual "heart to heart" any time soon and avoiding each other is impossible at this point. Our mother is always trying to make it work between us, because our fighting genuinely upsets her. I think I'll just have to grin and bear it for the time being.

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Betty Boop
Knowflake

Posts: 529
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 04, 2011 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What... A... Cow!

She is 10 years older. You are in your teens.
This is no way for an older sister to behave.

She needs to grow the H up!

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Anicia
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2009

posted March 04, 2011 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Anicia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
What... A... Cow!

She is 10 years older. You are in your teens.
This is no way for an older sister to behave.

She needs to grow the H up!



I definitely don't disagree, but it's always been this way between us. I'm just going to do my best to avoid her while being polite about it. I'm just over the arguing all together.

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