Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 11, 2011 01:05 PM            

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So, me and this cancer girl were dating for about a year. Things were perfect. We took our time and built a mature solid relationship. one unlike other people around us dating in college. In was bot of ares first “real” relationship, and for sure both of our first loves.

Before the school year started I got arrested for something very serious. She shut me out at first and then we talked and she told me she loved me and that we need to take a step back and go slow because of my sitaution. Then, about 2 weeks later my situation hit the news. i told her when I found our because i thought it was the right thing to do. About a week after a called her and we talk yelled and cried for about an hour ending in her saying not to call her anymore. She called me back the next morning and said that she is hear for me but needs time, which must have been hard for her.
She called a week after to see how a was. the next week a called her and told her a had a gift to give her because she got a new job. It took her a few days to pick get the gift from a friend. I called her 2 days after inpulsivly to ask if she was over me and at that stuff. She kept saying idk idk idk (also a lot of crying) and we went back and forth for an hour. The next day i left her a message at night saying that i felt like i owe it to her to let her go because i know she cant handle the situation and that I love her. She then called back the next day and I sort or blew her of and was like yeah its true im leaning on people that dont want to be leaned on and that i know its not that black and white. She agreed and we said when we talk we dont have to talk about anything because it would open everything up.I did not know at the time that i would not talk to her a 6 weeks. After that call i send her an email saying that i did not mean that i want to let her go but i just didnt want to presure her and that im always here for her. No reply. 2 weeks later a sent a very long and nice email just asking her to please please let me know where your at because there is a void that i cant move on without knowing. She responded by blocking her facebook wall. I then called her 2 times the following weekend and 1 text saying that i kknow she hates me but i need to talk to her.She called back and was very stern and said do not call her again and that she thought she was very clear and that there was nothing to talk about. Long story short she said she does care, she dosnt hate me, but that after the last 2 weeks it was clear i have no place in her life (this was a night of a full moon also). 1 week after that her 3 best friends deleted me from facebook. then 2 weeks after that her and her sister did. If she was so over me why would it take her 2 and a half weeks to delete me? do you think she is just fighting her heart and just doing what she thinks she has to do and thats why it took so long? This girl chased me for about 6 months even after I told her I didn’t want to date her, so cancers are clearly very very patiant people. What do you guys think? THANK YOU!

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Posts: 155
From: u.k
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 11, 2011 01:10 PM            

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I tend to think she doesn't feel 'safe' around you right now - Cancers crave security, and no matter how much she might love you, an uncertain future is scary for her.

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Posts: 1345
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 11, 2011 01:35 PM            

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Hello Taru11! Welcome to LL

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 11, 2011 04:50 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by snarly:
I tend to think she doesn't feel 'safe' around you right now - Cancers crave security, and no matter how much she might love you, an uncertain future is scary for her.

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So, if you give her time, say about 6 months, when its all over I could have a shot? Because i know at the end of the day she knows who I am .

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Posts: 235
From: US
Registered: Aug 2009

posted March 11, 2011 06:12 PM            

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Honestly, it sounds like she's made her decision, especially if her family deleted you. You really, really need to give her space right now - the more you push, the more she's going to retreat.

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Posts: 680
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 12, 2011 12:55 PM            

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Taru, I am a cancer girl too. We can never let anyone fully go once they have been in our lives. We are too sentimental for that.

Wait for a few years to pass by and I promise she will have gotten over it. Cancers always want to make nice with everyone. I'm 99% sure she will be back to you in due time, even if her family deleted you. We change perspectives a lot. You're gonna have to wait a long time, though. Maybe 2, 3 years. Make sure your life is pristine once you get out of jail tho or she will have lost all faith in you. She needs to see that you've changed and that it'll never happen again and then she'll come back.

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Posts: 7495
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 12, 2011 01:00 PM            

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Welcome!

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 1971
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009

posted March 12, 2011 01:16 PM            

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I'm a Cancer Stellium and I have to go with JFK here. You should probably cut your losses right now, move on, and start focusing on your own situation. Nothing against your character since I don't even know you, but it probably has alot to do with whatever you did. My guess is she probably has some Cap or Virgo in her chart too since she's speaking about 'having no place' for you.

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Posts: 410
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 13, 2011 02:01 PM            

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quote:

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Nothing against your character since I don't even know you, but it probably has alot to do with whatever you did

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I'm a Cancer Sun/Asc and Mars and I have to agree that we don't stop caring...however it also depends on what you did. I do agree with the above statement that if what you supposedly did was on the news it might have been too much for her to bear. A lot of people (not just Cancers) don't tend to stick to people when they are accused of something (not saying you did it).

Anyway I honestly would try to right this situation and get your name cleared. Trust me she does not hate you at all, and I'm sure even still loves you...but depending on if she has Virgo or Cap or even any earth for that matter she might be practical and think differently of you (rightly or wrongly) or be confused about if what you are accused of is something that you could be capable of. And flat out she could be embarrassed. I know this sounds harsh but being that I am a Cancer if someone I loved was on the news accused of something I'd be mortified (I'm a Cap Moon with Venus in 11th...so standing is pretty important...and especially important with friends). So look at it from the perspective of her and probably the way other people in your life (like parents) are looking at things. Even if you didn't do it that doesn't mean no damage was done.

Honestly just focus on dealing with this situation and clearing your name. And then focus on rebuilding your relationships because I'm sure your relationship with her isn't the only one that needs mending.

On a side note though I gotta say at least she was a straightforward Cancer...in my personal experience most Cancers (not including myself thankfully due to my 1st house Mars lol) are really bad about saying exactly what they think or feel. So at least she didn't wuss out on you and just avoid your calls. She told you exactly what she thought and that there was no place in her life for you anymore.

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Posts: 954
From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011

posted March 13, 2011 04:45 PM            

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Cancer stellium here! I think you should also give her space. It sounds like whatever you did messed up the relationship. She tried to deal with it at first, but it got too heavy for her. I will say, no Cancers don't let people go that easily, but we do shut down easily and its very similar to letting people go.

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 15, 2011 01:16 PM            

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Thank you all for your reply's. It helps me a lot.

Im going through a whole lot right now, and I understand that people have to take care a themselves first, and for her it may be very hard to see through her own pain. but all i asked of her was to tell me what is going on. And i pretty much had to force her to tell me. I have tried to look at her behavior many ways and one being her being a cancer. And with all the things i see you guys do deal with things in the same ways. I just find it really hard to understand how you can care about someone so much, and even say you love them, which is a lot for a cancer to say, and then just snap your fingers and disappear. I dont understand how if our last coversation was as accually saying us goodbye for good why she was such an ass and didnt want to end things in a good place. Is it because she cares about me soo much that its to painfull to talk about how she feels and explain why she feels the way she does? Or, does she not care at all and its just a burden. all i asked for he do do is tell me and i support her choice 110% and she chose not to tell me and just block her wall on facebook. If you wanted someone out of your life and all they asked was for you to tell them and they would respect that, wouldnt you be happy that they made it so easy and do it? you would think that if you cared about someone so much then you would try to work with them. especially when im in the hardest situation in my life. wouldnt she want to know how I am doing and whats going on, even if its just a call every month or something? are cancers all of nothing? THANKS!

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Posts: 8407
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 15, 2011 01:20 PM            

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This is just intuition.
I think she will come back

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011

posted March 15, 2011 02:10 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by taru11:
Thank you all for your reply's. It helps me a lot.

Im going through a whole lot right now, and I understand that people have to take care a themselves first, and for her it may be very hard to see through her own pain. but all i asked of her was to tell me what is going on. And i pretty much had to force her to tell me. I have tried to look at her behavior many ways and one being her being a cancer. And with all the things i see you guys do deal with things in the same ways. I just find it really hard to understand how you can care about someone so much, and even say you love them, which is a lot for a cancer to say, and then just snap your fingers and disappear. I dont understand how if our last coversation was as accually saying us goodbye for good why she was such an ass and didnt want to end things in a good place. Is it because she cares about me soo much that its to painfull to talk about how she feels and explain why she feels the way she does? Or, does she not care at all and its just a burden. all i asked for he do do is tell me and i support her choice 110% and she chose not to tell me and just block her wall on facebook. If you wanted someone out of your life and all they asked was for you to tell them and they would respect that, wouldnt you be happy that they made it so easy and do it? you would think that if you cared about someone so much then you would try to work with them. especially when im in the hardest situation in my life. wouldnt she want to know how I am doing and whats going on, even if its just a call every month or something? are cancers all of nothing? THANKS!

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I wouldn't say Cancers are all or nothin but like I said, I can easily shut down at any moment if my trust and security is taken away. It's a survival mechanism for me. I have moon, Venus, Mercury, 1st and 2nd house all in Cancer so I think its fair that I can speak for Cancers

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Posts: 1971
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009

posted March 15, 2011 02:50 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by taru11:
Thank you all for your reply's. It helps me a lot.

Im going through a whole lot right now, and I understand that people have to take care a themselves first, and for her it may be very hard to see through her own pain. but all i asked of her was to tell me what is going on. And i pretty much had to force her to tell me. I have tried to look at her behavior many ways and one being her being a cancer. And with all the things i see you guys do deal with things in the same ways. I just find it really hard to understand how you can care about someone so much, and even say you love them, which is a lot for a cancer to say, and then just snap your fingers and disappear. I dont understand how if our last coversation was as accually saying us goodbye for good why she was such an ass and didnt want to end things in a good place. Is it because she cares about me soo much that its to painfull to talk about how she feels and explain why she feels the way she does? Or, does she not care at all and its just a burden. all i asked for he do do is tell me and i support her choice 110% and she chose not to tell me and just block her wall on facebook. If you wanted someone out of your life and all they asked was for you to tell them and they would respect that, wouldnt you be happy that they made it so easy and do it? you would think that if you cared about someone so much then you would try to work with them. especially when im in the hardest situation in my life. wouldnt she want to know how I am doing and whats going on, even if its just a call every month or something? are cancers all of nothing? THANKS!

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Tbh (and this is from my observation of other Cancers), I think it is pretty atypical for a Cancerian to let go this easily unless they felt *really* betrayed in some way. I don't know you or her personally so I'm not going to assume that is the case, which is why I would like to see her chart? I'm betting she has one of her relationship planets in Cap or Virgo because this sounds like a very 'practical' decision on her part as GrlyGirl mentioned earlier. Also, are you a Taurus? I'm assuming so from your screenname.

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 15, 2011 02:55 PM            

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I dont know her time of birth, just birthday. Yes, I am a taurus.

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Posts: 1971
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009

posted March 15, 2011 02:59 PM            

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Her D.O.B. is fine, we can just set the time to noon and not read the houses.

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 15, 2011 03:02 PM            

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july 14 1989. Thanks!

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Posts: 1971
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009

posted March 15, 2011 03:10 PM            

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Do you have a place of birth for her too? Thanks!

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 15, 2011 03:11 PM            

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boston

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Posts: 1971
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009

posted March 15, 2011 03:25 PM            

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Well it looks like she has her moon in either Sag or Scorpio, and my most likely bet is Sag only because I've seen these people easily drop others like hot potatoes. And sag can highly moralistic too about others and the law.

As far as practicality, nothing really jumps out to me other than her Outer planet stellium in Capricorn which is why it would be nice to have a T.O.B. so we can get a bigger scope, with actual houses and rulerships.

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 15, 2011 03:43 PM            

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Yeah there is no way I could get her DOB. So, based on that you would assume that she is prob completely done and dosnt really care of miss me? weird that 2 and a half after we ended things on the phone she deleted me from facebook. if she was so done with me at the time why would she be thinking about it.

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Posts: 680
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 15, 2011 04:23 PM            

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I'm a cancer and cancers try to be good people and more than anything want to be considerate of other people's feelings. I think if she were done with you she would've told you straight out. The thing is even if we SAY we are done with you, that may not be for sure. Cancers always want to be friends with others and be on good terms. Even if it seems like she is abandoning you right now, trust me, give it a few years, she will come back. You must've done something to really hurt her. Just make sure to say sorry a looot when she decides to talk to you again. Also, that's not necessarily true about the sag mooners bc my best friend is a capricorn with a sag moon and aqua venus and mercury and she would never abandon me. And capricorns are just as loyal as cancers.

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Posts: 235
From: US
Registered: Aug 2009

posted March 15, 2011 04:32 PM            

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Maybe I'm being harsh - but it's so blatant that no matter how much she may or may not continue to love you, she does NOT want to talk to you right now. It sucks that she had to be so underhanded about it and not blatant with you, and I'm sorry you didn't receive the closure any person rightfully deserves when a relationship ends, but clearly the girl needs her space right now and does not want to think about the relationship - not only did she block you from seeing her wall and eventually unadd you, not only did her good friends unadd you, as well as her FAMILY members, but she's not responding to your emails. She is hurt and wants to be left alone, clearly.

I feel for you dude, I really do. But you have to take a step back from the situation and your own feelings and realize that the situation is done for right now, and continuing to push when it's blatant she wants her space is only going to further ruin her opinion of you, in my opinion. I'm coming from a basic psychological/woman stand point right now and not an astrological one - however, if we must get into that - yeah, if she has a Sag moon, trust me. Once they've made their decision, there's no bringing them back until they feel like it again on their own accord, and that can take a while.

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Posts: 1971
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009

posted March 15, 2011 04:56 PM            

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quote:

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Yeah there is no way I could get her DOB. So, based on that you would assume that she is prob completely done and dosnt really care of miss me? weird that 2 and a half after we ended things on the phone she deleted me from facebook. if she was so done with me at the time why would she be thinking about it.

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I'm not saying whether or not she misses you, in fact it sounds like she had to put alot of feelings aside to make the decision. But when the decision is that straightfoward (especially coming from a Cancer), that's pretty much it.

And yes, Sag Moons are very good at moving on if they feel like they have to. Again, not saying anything about how she feels about you, because as far as I can sense her decision has more to do with the situation than her actual feelings for you. This has *nothing* to do with loyalty or disloyalty---->> this is a HIGHLY sticky situation so I wouldn't judge how anyone would act here. My best advice to you, Taru, as I'm sure you (rightfully) feel very hurt for the lack of closure, is that you just focus on taking care of you and your legal situation as you seem to have alot on your plate anyways.

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Posts: 5847
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 15, 2011 06:26 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by snarly:
I tend to think she doesn't feel 'safe' around you right now - Cancers crave security, and no matter how much she might love you, an uncertain future is scary for her.

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I agree.
My ex is like that.

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~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX }><}}}(*>~

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