posted March 30, 2011 06:15 AM            

I think (from a non-astrological point of view) you need to identify exactly WHO you are and HOW you are fulfilling it in your life at this present time. For example, I have been going through a lot of soul-searching recently, because, well - my job sucks, and I cannot find longterm work that I enjoy doing. Then I found that there are plenty of other people who ALSO hate work - and I have to some extent managed to rig my work and social life so that I do the minimum of work possible whilst still managing to make ends meet. I intend to pare it down even more - because I am so fed up with modern living, I think this is something that gets a lot of us down, that make us feel we can't measure up in some way. (What b*ll&cks).

Thinking about my life recently, I cast my mind back to when I was about 14, 15, 16. I remembered my parents' excessive focus on materialism, the endless boringness of school and uni, the life in the suburbs, the emphasis on external appearances and stupid rules. I saw my peers at school buying into all this rubbish, as if it was supposed to be something wonderful. I looked at it all and thought, what a pile of sh*t, this is not what I want at all (and still isn't). Casting my mind back to that time, what I wanted to be was a creative genius. To some degree, I have fulfilled that, as creativity to me is as necessary as air to breathe. If I didn't have my music I'd be in a straitjacket by now, or at the bottom of the sea. Maybe with that Pisces/ Leo influence you'd be good with something altruistic/ creative too? Just an idea - with the general vibes I'm getting from your chart...

posted March 30, 2011 07:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Dear Lyra
How/why is Moon in Leo prone to depression?
Thank you so much !

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posted March 30, 2011 09:56 AM            

Neither are remotely suicidal, either.

They are always talking about how they are spiritually and physically tired, they've "had enough of life" and are always convinced death is knocking at their door.

My Pisces ex-girlfriend sleeps way too much and is convinced she doesn't have the strength to breathe or keep a pulse, and constantly believes her body is shutting down. She's been like this for the entire 2 years I've known her. In reality she is a hypochondriac and is doing just fine.

My mom wants me to have children just because she feels old, and believes she needs to be a grandmother to support her perceived decline towards death.

posted March 30, 2011 11:15 AM            

What I *will* post publicly -

I've taken the liberty of recasting your chart to look more closely at progressions and transits. This has your progressions:

What I see here is an overwhelming feeling of being a victim:

1. Sun is exactly opposite Dejanira (representing victimization in this particular instance.) This is a major theme in your life.

2. Mars and Nessus are functionally conjunct and Nessus (toxicity/victimizer) is in a critical degree - the meaning is clear: cruelly treated at the hands of men.

3. It turns out Nessus is also square to your midheaven (MC), adding to the victim theme. This is reinforced on a personal level because (what most astrologers fail to mention) is this also aspects your IC - the cusp of your 4th house, which represents home, family, and the foundation of personal security. Overall, this reads as you being ill-at-ease with yourself. [This means we look at your 2nd house as well - see item 6.]

4. The MC/IC fall in a critical degree as well. The MC indicates materialism, trying to compensate for emotional lack through accumulation of "stuff". On the up-side, you're most likely very thrifty, and can make a dollar stretch further than most people can stretch a $20. Anyway, these bad-boys are sometimes called the "angles" and represent very intense turning points in your life when you have planets cross over them. Combined with the Nessus/Mars square I mentioned, it sets up a very rough dynamic. Here's what it looks like:

4a. It takes the sun 365 days to go around your whole chart, so it hits every point in your chart during the year. In predictive astrology the sun acts like a spotlight of intense proportions, and casts a wide field of influence (the "orb".) Most other planets only get a couple of degrees for their orb, but the sun gets 3-10 (depending on who you ask.) Think of those as days of influence, both before and after the MC/IC. Those are also squares to Nessus/Mars, so they are points you can make needed changes to shed those energies - but they will tend to be decisions/actions that are forced on you. (With the victim theme already set in motion, this will feel like more of the same.)

This transit times roughly 16-26 March and 19-29 September.

4b. Roughly 90 days after the sun transits these points, it hits conjunctions and oppositions with the Nessus/Mars thing. In a conjunction those influences are highlighted, meaning they are most directly under your control, but it also means they are going to be at their strongest influence.

This transit hits roughly 17-27 June

4c. In the opposition you have your greatest chance to break the victim pattern. Your personal energies and sense of self are at their strongest (as long as you have hospital corners on your bed.) Physical fitness and exercise are keys at this point as well, and allow you to channel energy quite well.

This transit occurs roughly 18-28 December.

4d. Overall, the key to watching these transits is the times the sun goes into Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. The day prior to the cross-over will be the day of strongest influence. Keep in mind that these are also the points where you can exercise your will on events with greatest influence.

5. A second dynamic emerges with Jupiter (expansion/greater benefic) conjunct Chiron (healing/wounded healer) in your 4th house. Jupiter has a very pleasant sextile with Mars who we've already discussed. They are also in mutual reception, reinforcing the bond between your ability to direct yourself and spot relationships that will suit your energy level.

5a. Jupiter/Chiron are also sextile Venus (love & money.) This also puts Venus in a trine with Mars. The overall dynamic indicates you can find decent partners in life, and have a pleasant flowing of energies between your heart and body. (That tells me you were able to deal with that unpleasantness from your childhood, which in turn says you are a survivor.) But -

6. Jupiter/Chiron are squared with Saturn (boundaries/time & patience) in your 8th house. This deals on one level with other people's resources & money, but on the more personal level it makes you prone to capitalize on the sexual aspects of Mars to draw affection and emotional support. This points to the 2nd house (possessions/self-esteem) emphatically because Saturn rules your 2nd house.

7. Your 2nd house is even more critical now because your ascendant (AC) is now progressed to the cusp of your 2nd house. On the one hand, this is a strong point for you now, since it puts you in very direct charge of your life (finally.) But over your life you've likely used these energies in more manipulative ways to get what you wanted, only to have things backfire in your face. Your heart is strong and fierce, but she has plenty of scars.

8. Most astrologers will probably tell you that Jupiter rules your chart. He has a strong influence, but the real dominant force in your life is Neptune. He rules your birth sign, sits on your ascendant (AC) and is the final dispositor of your sun, moon and saturn. (These 3 are key players, so his influence is greatly enhanced.) On the up-side, he gives you a psychic strength which is indicated elsewhere in your chart. For you that manifests as being able to think through things quickly to reach a logical conclusion, even though others won't be able to follow your logic, and you won't be able to explain it. You usually just end up shrugging and calling it a "gut instinct" or intuition. But you are very rarely wrong when you rely on this instinct.

Final note:There is plenty more in your chart to look at, and again, I won't get into the whole "When will I die?" thing in a public forum. But if you choose not to get in direct contact, keep this in mind: Your morbid bent won't serve you very well anymore. The progressed AC moving into your 2nd house this year is revising the victim role you've been cast in all your life. You have the will, strength, and authority to turn it all around now, and the energies in the heavens are pushing you that direction.

posted March 30, 2011 01:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I didn't know you were THAT good,Jake

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Unfortunate that you wanted to be cagey with me instead of trusting. *shrug* But I'm getting that a lot lately.

posted March 30, 2011 01:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am a triple Gemini,Darlink

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posted March 30, 2011 02:25 PM            

MOST would find such a reading HORRIFIC but i think it's FAB-TASTIC!! it feels SO F-ING GREAT to know REAL reasons for my ****** turd of a life, YAY!! wow! "...cruelty from men..." HAHA! I'LL SAY! i'm lucky i haven't had a humiliating lifetime movie made in my 'honor' or a special 2-hour episode of SNAPPED! hell, i could have my own SERIES, LOL! it would be called, "IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN..." however, the WORLD is unlucky i didn't take a few muthafcka's out when i was crazed and could have...BUT THAT'S ALL OVER NOW!

BOING....BOING.....BOING.....BOING.... (happy bounce dance)

so, is there a difference between FEELING like a victim and BEING a victim, lol? actually, i don't care anymore. oh wait, i guess since one chooses what their life experiences should entail before they incarnate (i believe),the state of victim-hood is ridiculous past a reasonable age. i'm too old for that crap anyway. i'm so tired of it, haha! i'm also tired of feeling righteous indignation!! how obnoxious. i even annoyed the hell outta myself! i've felt like such a damn fool picturing myself in the cosmic waiting room picking and choosing the disasters i thought i could handle in one lifetime, lol! who the HELL did i think i was?? this actually made me deeply ashamed of myself even though i knew it was ridiculous....!!..? weird.

scorpoiness, THANK YOU! i contacted you to get the rest of the scoop. and you are right about things lining up for change, i can feel it! i just didn't know whether more disaster was coming, what kind of disaster, if i could change things, OR WHAT! and also, ami anne, you are absolutely right about me seeing SERIOUS distortions!! good GAWD on a holy cracker!! you cannot imagine how TWISTED the perceptions of myself have become. i know i still look like iggy pop after my heinous anorexic depression, but that's ok, i don't want to date ever again anyway, lol! the distortions having to do with my inner self are where the real problems lie. "...real problems LIE" about sums THAT up! i've never been afraid to take those long hard looks at my own self and accept (for the most part) my crappy attributes, but when you are probing from a totally corrupted view point... WOWZERS CAN THINGS GET UGLY!!! oh, jeeeez, i just started bawling and laughing at the same time, haha! how strange...tears of relief and joy don't burn the **** out of your skin like the acid anger tears i'm used to!

BOING....BOING....BOING....BOING... !!

posted March 30, 2011 02:31 PM            

Life sucks. It does. That is just something you're going to have to accept sooner or later. Now go out there and do what you like whatever you like....and eventually you will meet someone who makes you laugh your socks off, or someone who is so kind that it makes your heart melt, or someone who is so SO unafraid to live life to the fullest, that every single night they do. Almost every moment of their lives they do something outrageous and convince people to think out of the box. Life sucks. But a lot of people don't. Go out and volunteer and play with children, go see animals in nature, connect yourself with the innocent beings of the world who have no ulterior motives---but just are themselves. If you get a job you hate---well, all jobs suck. Stick through it. What will give you happiness is sticking through it---and everybody else at the job suffers like you do---become their friends. Try to make people laugh every moment of your life. Try to make every moment special and larger than life. You are not a victim. Everyone thinks life sucks, they do. They just don't show it. There are good people out there, people who just want to help, they'll approach you themselves and offer their kindness multiple times. Accept it. Don't worry, everything will be okay. Just make sure to have a rich inner life because that is the most importabt cure against loneliness. I write in my private tumblr diary every day. And when I read back on each entry I see how many different things I realize each day, and how much I've and my life has changed in just a week.

posted March 30, 2011 02:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StJake:
*smirk* And you said everything was impossible between us? You either used bum information on me, or you're reading the wrong stuff...

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x x

posted March 30, 2011 03:49 PM            

yes, LACKING EARTH. totally ungrounded. i drive people nuts with that! i'm like the plastic grocery bag on the side of the road in the movie "american beauty" except it's soggy, haha...sniff, :P

i wanna hear the good the bad and the ugly! i can assure you, there ain't nuthin' that will freak me out or make me too horrified to go on. there is nothing in my chart that could possibly top the frightfully bizarre distortions in personal insight that i have already tried to deal with, and if they do, well, i would be preternatural hell spawn that is actually suffering so much because i'm trying to be "good"...and upon the realization of my magical creatureness, i'll stop fighting my true nature, will sprout black leathery wings, and hunt mexican non-smokers for lunch. either way, i'm not scared :F

who was it that addressed my creativity? i just looked...CRAP! I MEANT THANK YOU JAKE!!!!! (not that scorpioness didn't add to the rich tapestry-thank you) IT'S HARD WHEN THERE ARE NO FACES WITH NAMES - SORRY..woops ...

lonake! yes, i'm creative all right. i could also have my own reality show, "when good creativity goes bad". my plastic garbage bag can really zing out to the stratosphere....disturbing....eeek!