posted March 30, 2011 09:55 PM            

I think what prompted this was finding out that the Aqua ex I couldn't get over is with someone and happy. And what is worse is guys have a tendency to date me than their next gf is someone they get serious with. So I'm guessing this Aqua will get serious with this girl especially since he is not in college and working now (she's a Sag with Mars in Scorp), plus I heard they spend a lot of time together. So for an Aqua to do that they must be really crazy about you (and his sister added her on facebook which is a sign that someone is really into someone).

And I find this happens to me many times and then they just stop trying or find someone else. I've been told numerous times I'm amazing, sweet, caring, etc. But if that is the case then how come I've never had someone actually fall for me. So astrologically is there something that is keeping me from actually finding guys that truly care for me. Thanks.

posted March 30, 2011 10:45 PM            

Sorry I can't offer you any real advice, I guess I just wanted to commiserate before bed...LOL. I was suprised you feel that way when I saw your Moon-Venus trine, but I see now the Saturn opposition to your Venus. That's percieved lack love, bigtime.

posted March 31, 2011 12:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl20:
In my relationships I always have something happen where the guys flake off or treat me badly.

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Honestly I think it is a generational thing with guys our age. But I can really emphasize with you...

I was perfectly fine for the past year philandering about and hooking up with random guys without any real connection, then I realized that wasn't what I wanted, I wanted a friend and a lover as corny as it sounds.

And you know what helped me find that special someone, chakra healing. My third chakra which is the center chakra and balances all other chakras has to do with assertiveness and self-love, two things that I always lacked, but I focused all my energy onto healing my thrid chakra and oddly enough I met someone really special who is not a flake!

posted March 31, 2011 07:22 AM            

I am not sure, are you born March 7th or July 3rd? I have done your Chart, born in July:

I don't see your Sun in 7th.

B.

posted March 31, 2011 11:44 AM            

quote:

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I'm guessing you have maybe some Uranian energies that are unbalanced?

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This is true. I have Uranus and Jupiter forming a Yod with my Sun/Mars Conjunction. I also have my Venus in Taurus in the 11th, and I have my IC Square Uranus, and being a Cancer my 4th is like a Moon Uranus aspect.

I want a friend and lover as well. I think that is why I have taken the Aqua thing so hard his Mars fell in my 11th so I genuinely considered him a friend. And he seemed to value that (but in the end I was only a gf ever and not a friend). He was the first guy who seemed to value me as a friend and gf. Other guys are just into the physical and don't care about a person really. If they are friends its because they want sex. He was genuinely the first guy I ever dated that things could go from super intense to cracking on each other or doing something stupid. So I think in general it was like it took me 25 years to find a guy who can be that way. I've had similar experiences with other Aqua guys as I tend to adore them (especially if they have some sort of water).

posted March 31, 2011 12:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl20:
First off let me say that I have seeing women complain about how bad their love lives are. But I'm finding myself doing so. I'm 25, and I have been in many relationships but I've only fell for two of the guys that I have been involved with. In my relationships I always have something happen where the guys flake off or treat me badly. I get over it and we remain friends. But I realized at the age of 25 I've never really had anyone genuinely care for me, or probably be in love with me.

I think what prompted this was finding out that the Aqua ex I couldn't get over is with someone and happy. And what is worse is guys have a tendency to date me than their next gf is someone they get serious with. So I'm guessing this Aqua will get serious with this girl especially since he is not in college and working now (she's a Sag with Mars in Scorp), plus I heard they spend a lot of time together. So for an Aqua to do that they must be really crazy about you (and his sister added her on facebook which is a sign that someone is really into someone).

And I find this happens to me many times and then they just stop trying or find someone else. I've been told numerous times I'm amazing, sweet, caring, etc. But if that is the case then how come I've never had someone actually fall for me. So astrologically is there something that is keeping me from actually finding guys that truly care for me. Thanks.

DOB: 7/3/85 born in Bellflower, CA at 5:34 am Thanks.

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GirlyGirl
I remember your Aqua

posted April 01, 2011 06:52 AM            

I know someone who had also problems with men until she was 29 years old (Saturn Return). She went to Greece for a holiday and met there (four months after her birthday) her great love (Greek man - foreigner for her).

As your Saturn has place in the 5th, house of love, you can find your love just then.
Saturn is ruler of your DESC.

Here is about ruler of 7th in 5th:

Ruler of the Seventh House in the Fifth House

---You will most likely marry for strong romantic feelings. Your partner may bring out the child in you or, he may stimulate your creativity somehow. They may also be supportive of your creative endeavors lending encouragement and support---

Your Venus from 11th in opposition with Saturn in 5th: this aspect shows that you are not sure, is he your friend or your lover. It blocks you.
You have nice trine between Venus (11th) and the Moon in 7th: on the end all will be good. Your friend can become your partner.

Bobbie

posted April 01, 2011 03:33 PM            

I've been trying to think these issues out for myself for a few years--so a lot of my comments here are things I'm trying to work out--so if I write something that sounds insulting or off, please take it as "oohhh, that's Lucia projecting her own issues onto me!" and disregard anything that doesn't help.

Because I've been reading your posts here for what feels like years, and I feel like you have some of the same issues I do--which is that you get needy, obsessive, and desperate about things that some people would just let go of. For me, I did not have these issues in this way until after my Saturn Return was over, because through my late teens, 20s, and early thirties, I was in a committed relationship with a man who adored (still adores) me. It was a wrong relationship that hindered both of us, BUT it was waaaayy more natural for me to channel all my energy into being coupled. Being single feels very very frustrating to me, and when I meet someone I want, I want to go deeply into it and be with him until I don't feel that way anymore.

Here's what I think: your Cancer Sun and 7th house Capricorn Moon are not sabotaging your love life, but they are sabotaging how you FEEL about your love life, if that makes any sense.

For example, the thing with your Aqua--you felt a connection/attraction to him, and then the breakup hurt and frustrated you. And his decision to go for a clean break bothered you. Some people in their early 20s would feel like, "Oh, I liked/loved this guy, and it didn't work out, which hurts, but time to move on..." and then they would heal and have all that energy to open up to a connection that worked better for both people.

I remember way before your Aqua, when I was first on Lindaland, you had a crush on some guy, and you would post here a lot trying to sort out how he felt and analyze every little behavior of his....it reminded me sooo much of myself, I think at that time I was doing the same thing with a frustrating, mixed-message Scorpio! Now, people on Lindaland see my most troubled side...but overall I am a warm, fun, curious woman who lots of people like and lots of guys have wanted...and I know you have those qualities too...so it's like there's something about these mixed-message guys or the possibility of rejection that makes us want to emotionally get to the bottom of things. Whereas some women would just move on!! And never spend even five minutes obsessing about someone's behavior on an internet site.

Something in that Cancer/Capricorn tension around the 1st/7th houses brings a real tenaciousness to romance....the Cancer part is like "I have these feelings", and the Cap is like "I know what I want and I have a goal." It leads to craving consummation, of course, but also CLOSURE. it's part of why I stayed with my ex so long, who I love but was not right for me...I had to be ready to end it and feel like I'd taken it as far as it could go.

And now--I'm still totally pining for my most recent ex (Aries--I remember talking about him here with you), even though we've been broken up longer than the relationship lasted! I have that "noone will ever love me" feeling---and it has taken me a while to see the reality, that four years after the breakup of my 14-year relationship, there have been seven terrific guys (and a few not-good ones) interested in me, I fell in love with one, I have rejected or been not-interested-in a couple of guys, a couple of guys have rejected or been not-interested-in me. On the surface, my love life is completely normal and not that tragic at all. It's just that it FEELS tragic to me!!!

And with you, you're very young, and very lovely and lovable, and you've had a few relationships that went the way of most young relationships, on your way to finding more of a long-term life-partner in your twenties or thirties. All very normal and undepressing and untragic, but it FEELS just horrible with that Cap-Cancer mix.

posted April 01, 2011 03:48 PM            

Maybe these placements will be easier in a long-term, Very Serious relationship? My Moon-Saturn certainly was, and will be again. Saturn in the 1st, 4th, 5th, or 7th in hard aspect to Venus or Moon makes the early stages of a relationship, when the two of you are seeing what is and isn't between you and whether you will work out long term, very, very challenging. You put the same weight onto a 6 month or 1-year dating situation when you're not even living together that most people would put on a marriage. And then you put even more energy in when it's not working or when it's over.

posted April 01, 2011 05:22 PM            

I remember Aqua guy well as I replied to a few of your threads about him. I even remember seeing his pic.
I did not have a positive impression of him from A to Z.
That was and continues to be my honest opinion.
When someone is in the middle of a relationship that they believe to be positive - you cannot say to them "I get a bad feeling from his picture and I think he is jerk".. so I shut up about it and I continued to be encouraging - saying he was cute and etc. I was hoping to be wrong.
I was not quiet about the FB situation though (I think my nick was dy-na-mi-tee at that stage, but could've been vapor-lash).

You deserve someone who is much more understanding and caring - someone who gives a damn about you --- NOT -- only about himself. Aqua guy always seemed self-centred in his behaviour and it was very off-putting (at least from my perspective as a person reading about the situation).

posted April 01, 2011 06:59 PM            

quote:

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Because I've been reading your posts here for what feels like years, and I feel like you have some of the same issues I do--which is that you get needy, obsessive, and desperate about things that some people would just let go of

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posted April 01, 2011 09:40 PM            

Obsessing about someone who, for whatever reason, is choosing not to be with us--analyzing his every movement, reading his chart, pining away and hoping he'll call, following his new romance from afar YEARS after he left, whatever manifestation like that--I think might really be blocking new relationships and deepening connections with people who DO choose us!

Maybe those are not actually issues you're struggling with, and it just *seems* like you are to me because I'm struggling with them, and I only know you from reading a few threads on an internet forum. But whatever your destructive behaviors are, it might be worth changing them up a little when they're keeping you from getting what you want.

posted April 01, 2011 09:52 PM            

quote:

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I percieve myself as acting pathetic in the past and in general in terms of relationships where I care.

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Astrologically, different signs like being cared for in different ways. I dated a Pisces recently--it reeaaaallly didn't go anywhere--who loved feeling like he was of service to me, bringing me gifts, and being kind of gooey and submissive. As a Leo Sun, I was much more comfortable with the way an Aries showed he cared--planning exciting things for us, showing me off, and showing off for me.

What might make many Aquas uncomfortable might feel wonderful to a Taurus, Cancer, or Scorpio--such as knowing you love him and are there for him no matter what.

posted April 01, 2011 10:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl20:
I know you were trying to help Lucia and offer advise...but yeah this sentence and others def did not make me feel any better especially since I percieve myself as acting pathetic in the past and in general in terms of relationships where I care.

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I agree ,GirlyGirl
I would feel the same way

posted April 02, 2011 10:50 AM            

quote:

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Obsessing about someone who, for whatever reason, is choosing not to be with us--analyzing his every movement, reading his chart, pining away and hoping he'll call, following his new romance from afar YEARS after he left, whatever manifestation like that--I think might really be blocking new relationships and deepening connections with people who DO choose us!

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I can see why you would write this...but again I guess I don't understand why this in necessarily bad (I'm not studying his chart...etc). Why do you in theory have to "get over someone?" I'm not upset he found someone...I'm upset that he found someone he likes...and I haven't. Finding someone is easy but the vast majority (and when I say vast I mean like pretty much all) of guys I meet I'm only into them a short time or not at all, and then we become friends. Even the guy that you read posts about me analyzing his every move...he and I are great friends now so obviously it sucked but I got over it, and everything ended up not being a big deal. Eventually I'll end up that way with the Aqua.

Regarding the Aqua, I found out he was dating someone through a mutual friend. And I KNOW not being over him isn't blocking me from finding love. I'm not the type of person who falls for really any of the guys I date (ever), so this isn't a new thing. I do agree that if something is keeping you from being in relationships then yeah...but I am talking to people (now a Pisces who we aren't similar, and he has said he doesn't remain friends as he has enough friends...so I'm trying because he is a sweet guy and I do want to be friends) and have dated people since the breakup (which wasn't years ago). But again I find qualities that don't work...or they flake off, or want just a physical relationship. I just don't see how that is me closing myself off to love. With the guys I'm dating I try to find something about them to love/like, and it almost always ends up just being platonic love (not that I don't like that). And that was what I wasn't understanding. It's very very hard for me to have just romantic love/like first...and also second when I do date the guys I like they always end up flaking off and I'll get hurt a little bit but get over it and we remain good friends.

And you are right. Maybe the Aqua didn't like how I responded with alot of emotion. I always thought though that in general emotion and relationships (despite the Sun) are not ruled by the Sun. And that accounts for why people are one way in general and another in relationships. So that is not something that would be ruled by it anyway. I don't know why he stopped dealing with me. It could have been for any numerous reasons or none. What hurt the most and literally what still hurts is that he didn't want to be friends after. Even if someone is acting bad sometimes or like I was I was worthy enough to be a friend. Not being compatible with me or wanting me as a girlfriend is one thing...but not wanting to be friends I take very very personally.

posted April 02, 2011 11:02 AM            

quote:

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Grly - you NEED a man who is more stable and watery (scorpio & cancer influence/not pisces)... and possibly a little older.

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My love of friendship is why I stay away from these guys (Cancer...and Scorpio). I do value friendship so much and every guy I've dated with this in their chart (I'll even include Virgo for some guys) end up wanting nothing to do with me after we break up (this was even down to the Scorp/Aqua ex I had...only now years after we dated did we become friends). That is why I go for the Gemini's or Sags, etc. Even if it doesn't work out (which it most likely won't) they will still be cool with me.