posted June 24, 2011 01:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mochai:
What you're saying does make sense Lioness. Just because you can't consciously register something doesn't mean that you don't have the fear or anxiety activity going on in your brain. Emotional Literacy and Intelligence is a very important skill.

I've gotta go to sleep.

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posted June 24, 2011 01:33 AM            

quote:

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Either way, if you look at the brain, we are wired to function best in a compassionate, service to other, eudaimonically oriented setting. When you stray from that or aren't true to yourself and start suppressing or fearing as opposed to loving, that's when things get ugly. We weren't made to live the way we do in western society.. with all the hate, judgment, commercial programming (I say programming because your mirror neurons are very skilled at reinforcing that behavior and what you see into your brain.. they are programmed to learn that way), and hedonistic materialistic drives that derail ourselves as well as our community. I list materialism there because hedonism with that has proven to not cause lasting happiness again and again, but we buy it because that's all we see everywhere (I could get more into what's wrong with society). So we pollute ourselves and our environment, enslaving ourselves to debt and corporate tyranny, and we look at anyone who is broken by the emotional traumas we propagate as being weak or some sort of energy vampire when it is really our society that caused it and they are the canaries of our society. We forget our happiness is interdependent on everyone else's and live with a me first attitude

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I just wanted to stress this one, because after what I've experienced in the last year approx, this is very true.

I was a sad shell of something, self loathing, bitching, whining, depressed. Nothing worked out the way I had dreamed, I was just existing along.

But, one day I said "enough!" and wasn't just making half arsed plans that stopped before even starting, I really wanted to change my life. That's when I stumbled on the flyer of the "Chop Suey Club" (my martial arts school heh, I also call them the karma rat pack) for a self defense class. What a trip it's been. Incl. that Kundalini and other interesting phenomena

posted June 24, 2011 01:42 AM            

Yes I think thats a good idea... I need to mind something, that will maybe relax me, and clear my head...

posted June 24, 2011 01:50 AM            

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Originally posted by Yrone:
I am trying to combat the mind chatter by meditating. It's tough, you are sooooo used to always have your mind spinning and jumping from one thing to the next.

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So you think like that also??

posted June 24, 2011 01:52 AM            

It seems you have no direction, that is why your thoughts are chaotic.

posted June 24, 2011 01:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AstrologicalMan:
Have you ever meditated?

It seems you have no direction, that is why your thoughts are chaotic.

Are there any goals for you to accomplish?

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No Ive never meditated..

Yeah no direction is probably true.

Goals? Like what? Work goals?

posted June 24, 2011 01:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Yrone:
Yes, it's either jump, spin, jump or a vinyl record stuck at the same point without end (aka obsessiveness).

Also, I can relate to not wanting to let your emotions show, or letting anyone see the real you and get close to it.

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posted June 24, 2011 01:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
No Ive never meditated..

Yeah no direction is probably true.

Goals? Like what? Work goals?

I gotta go to sleep.. But I will be back tomorrow..

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posted June 26, 2011 01:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
mochai

That was beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story also... Thank you for taking the time to sit down and write all of that!

Its true I have been suppressing emotions. Now I have come to at a time,when its no longer possible.. Its kicking me, screaming at me.. Punching me in the face.. You name it...

Im working on it.. I am.. but I have suppressed emotions since I was a small child, that I never really "learned" emotions..
I dont know what I am feeling... Its very confusing..
I cant tell you what emotions I am having.. I think its this, then I change it and say no no its got to be this...

It may be hard for some people to understand that you dont know what your feeling.. But I really dont... I dont know what any of these emotions actually feel like..

Im very confused.... My subconscious has come to the light... I dont even know who I am really.. who I am...

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in the rare occassions i have been where you are is because i have not cried during the moment i wanted, then the right time for crying past, but your body has memory of the emotion and retain it until you release it (that is my assumption)

I would invite you to watch or read or to be exposed to music that helps you to bring feelings. like a romantic movie or music and quiet time during which it could be easier to be in touch with your feelings. once the you open up, things will become clear. i suspect you need to cry.

hope this help

best,

posted June 26, 2011 02:07 PM            

Just a lot of things have be going on. Maybe its the Eclipse making me extra emotional??

I got into big time, with Pisces.. We argued via text for 4 hours.. Then we made up, and had a deep conversation.. But I feel the whole thing was just bad, bad.. very bad...
I dont want to see him or face him.. Im doing everything possible to avoid him..

Last night I ran into Gem.. (sighh) Thats a whole other situation.... I just cant go there with him...

Today Im going to a bbq and an ex scoprio I dated is going to be there ( I was already advised, so it wont be a surprise) BUT Im still going!! Ohh well..
I really really dont want anything to do with him.. More less see him... blahhh!! But I'll be nice (wink, wink)

I was at a party last night, and my pisces female friend, had a secret fling with this one guy..(he doesnt know I know) He spent the entire night flirting with me, I'm guessing so I will go and tell her, and make her jealous. I called her and told her.. I said see girl, I did my job, I called you and told you so you can be jealous. LOL.. She laughed..and ooo Im soooo sooo soooo jealous..lol (she cant stand him, and wants nothing to do with him).. I saw through him.. I know what he was doing..

posted June 26, 2011 03:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mochai:
Just wanted to say I agree with Nordic. I had asked for a healing at a point my suicidal ideation was unbearable and I couldn't deal with it anymore. For a while nothing happened and then something hit me and I cried for what was probably close to two hours and may have totaled 3 hours for that day, but after it I felt a lot better. Normally I don't cry at all.

If you feel angry or annoyed though too, it's important to be with that.

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LOL... I cry when I watch animal planet! hahahha..

Maybe its that H6 Stellium!

A few years back, my daughter asked me to watch a movie with her, she said mom its really good and I want you to watch it with me.. So I said OK... We both went into her room and we watched it together...
By the time the movie was over I was in full on tears, bawling like a baby!!

I was so mad, I told her DAMN IT, why you got me watching this shitz for!! Im all crying in crap!!
lol... She was laughing at me... saying ha ha ha I knew you were going to cry.. I just wanted to see you cry..

posted June 26, 2011 03:22 PM            

I went to see The Notebook with a guy and he ended up crying. I always think men who cry are adorable!

It is a very good movie.