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Author
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Topic: Synastry with a player
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allouette
Knowflake Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 08:15 AM
  
I've known this guy for a couple of months, there was both sides attraction from the very beginning but recently he tried to make a bold move. I know he is player and I want to keep it cool but maaaan I got his DOB...have a look on this! venus-sun opposition double whammy and all the other aspects!
I don't know his TOB; I'm on the outside  IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 08:51 AM
Looking at this - even if i didn't know it was romantic or that he is a player.. I would've said that he has a lot more to learn from you and to gain from a relationship with you - than you do. What I mean by that is - he is quite afflicted... with Mercury/Mars and Jupiter all retrograde.
The fact that you both have Virgo Mars - but yours is direct means he might envy your ability to move forward - at times when he feels stuck and fearful. You are a very articulate and intelligent person who has no trouble expressing herself. With Mercury retrograde in water he is very reluctant to share his thoughts and could seem completely 'spaced out' at times. This has an adverse effect on his social life and may have also had an impact on his academic ability. You have a Moon that feels right at home in Taurus. You love life as it is. You are not one to dwell on the negatives. This man, on the other hand, could be crowned king of negativity and focusing of all things ugly/horrible in life.
His childhood was extremely different to yours.. which is another reason he could feel envious. He is emotionally heavy. I don't like the synastry because I've seen people be jerks out of envy - and I genuinely think this synastry would bring out such feelings/behaviour in him. On the bright side for him - he could learn to express himself both verbally and emotionally, he could learn that there are beautiful things in this world (it's not all that gloomy) and he could learn that life can be much easier when you let go of control and just go with it.
He could learn all that from your easy going style. The thing is, I'm not sure whether it might be a case of 'one rotten apple spoils them all'... so - rather than you fixing him - he might just hurt you. I should’ve made this briefer – sorry! Basically, were I in your shoes – I would not go near him. I’d feel as though this person has issues and those issues needn’t become my issues… and that there are men out there who would be much better matches!
(But obviously – this is just based on the chart! You alone - know the dynamics, since you are experiencing the relationship first hand.) IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 14747
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 08:55 AM
Betty
HOW do you get all that about his childhood from his moon?
Is it just the moon in Scorpio? Is it cuz the moon opposes Chiron?
Thank you------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 14747
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 09:00 AM
Betty
What can you TAKE from Retro planets in a practical way?
Can you say they give one--A B C or D?
Thank you!------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 16, 2011 07:55 PM
All retrograde means is that they don't play by the rules. It doesn't mean affliction. Jeez.IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 08:24 PM
Lonake - I find personal planets - mainly Venus/Mars very difficult in a relationship when retrograde (Mercury doesn't matter as much in terms of love/sex, but can still be a problem in communication).
So I said - 'afflicted' - in the sense that it is very difficult for these people to carry out a normal relationship with others - who have the same planets direct.
When the retro planet is conjunct something in the other person's chart (which is direct) - it gets worse.. because the direct planet feels more and more uncomfortable as time goes on. The retro person becomes envious and bites at them. Ami -
I meant both - because it is Scorpio and opposite Chiron. It seems 'heavier' than her own Moon. About retro planets -- It depends on the planet.. but whatever qualities they 'give' the person - these qualities are usually not 'shared' with the world. They're kept to themselves. This is not a negative thing - but in a relationship with people who have the same planet in the same sign and *direct* -- it can become very annoying. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 08:27 PM
Lonake - quote:
All retrograde means is that they don't play by the rules.
Are you close to anyone with Venus or Mars retrograde? I'm curious whether you are speaking from experiences you've had.. or from things you've read. Because it is not so simple imo.. It's not just that they don't play by the rules. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 16, 2011 08:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Are you close to anyone with Venus or Mars retrograde?
Yes, ma'am, myself and others I've known. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 08:35 PM
hmm Ok.. Do you think you have an easier relationship with people who have the same retro planet? And have you ever felt annoyed/angered by a person with the same placement direct?
---
Also.. what I meant by 'complicated' before is in terms of past lives - which I believe in.
I feel like Venus retro and Mars retro... have one foot in this life and one foot in their past life.
It's difficult to explain. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 16, 2011 08:36 PM
Also, regarding retrograde, it's important to look to the progressed chart to see if it has turned direct, mainly for the personal planets. It's possible for Jupiter or Saturn, or even the outer planets to turn direct, but the feeling may not be as immediate as with merc venus and mars that have more personal sway.
But it doesn't always turn direct by progression during the lifetime, so in some cases this is not an option.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 14747
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 16, 2011 08:40 PM
What do you have Retro Lonake if you care to say.
I have Saturn,Merc and Neptune.
I think Venus would be the hardest myself.
------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 16, 2011 08:42 PM
BB, I have to go check past synastries re:both, will reply later.ETA:
Ok, having gone over charts have known more with merc or venus rx than mars, but i studied those i know.
1) ok i have my grandmother who is also mars rx, she and i got along from day 1 and never argued or had a disagreement over anything that involved any kind of animosity (we met when i was 16, so this is not from the time i was born where i wouldn't remember a lot of things). She has no probs asserting herself, she sticks to her guns. She ****** other people off (esp my mom, brrrrr) but we get on like pb&j.
2) a past romantic involvement, the disagreements were from my side due to my possessiveness with him, but he never got angry with me or gave it any sort of mention, mainly because he always likened me to a passionate artist that he admires (famous, deceased), would always draw similarities between her and I.
3) Another, someone I am getting to know romantically, so not a lot of time here only maybe 6 mos, but no arguments or heated talks or anything of that nature. I found a friend who has no Rx planets, not even pluto, or even nn, her only rx is Chiron. She is v. straight, to the point, leads a life that has virtually no complications, what you see is what you get.
The one who has the most Rx has led a somewhat subversive life, he's on the edge basically, unique unto himself, no one like him, and some funny thinking but there ya go. The Rx does not walk in step with others, they make up their own mind about how that planet will express itself and often it is somewhat unconventional. The progression turning it direct draws them to be more in step with society, but they still hold onto their basic natal Rx, with just an overlay, so while they are still not completely with the norm they are better with blending in than before. Ami, Mars Saturn Pluto. ETA:
I was going over the charts and with Merc rx there is no question that they have their own mind, may not be in step, but they are not in much danger of being brainwashed. That is a positive. Also, the ones with Venus rx have all led very eventful love lives, their own thoughts as to what is proper and how to go about relating, etc. but it has been a sort of calling card for them. IP: Logged |
DayandNight21
Knowflake Posts: 90
From:
Registered: May 2010
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posted July 17, 2011 05:13 AM
I read somewhere (forget where) that lots of retrograde planets could be a sign of high status/achievement. Would say that both my grandparents had this and did well for themselves. I have 4 retrogrades but all in outer planets so to me they do not count in my chart interpretation as significant factors and in life i am not as successful as them. Also clairvision astrology says that retrogrades are more significant for the inner planets than the outer planets.
IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2011 05:18 PM
I agree, a preponderance of Rx can be a maverick.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 14747
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2011 05:55 PM
That is so interesting Lonake about the maverick .
I have not talked to my mother in 3 months.
I can breathe a little.
As I get some distance, I SEE how she wanted to make me cookie cutter for herself.I was supposed to be her arm or leg,not me, an individual.
As I see this, I see how maverick I am,not to brag lol
I have Merc,Neptune and Saturn retro.
I just lost a friend cuz I wanted to do something very different, very maverick. I have always been this way but thought I was "bad"
I thought good girls cared about dish patterns.I don't care if I drink out of jelly jars.
The problem was I thought this was "bad" rather than celebrating my differences.
Can you relate? ------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2011 06:10 PM
I knew I was a bit out of step with my Rx veryyy early on, but maybe cos 2 of em are in Air in the 3rd I was certain that I had insight that others couldn't muster. Still am.
And it's no longer just plain self-congratulating thoughts about it cos it's been proven to me time and again. I find myself more honest in those respects than many others. It's not exactly an easy road with Rx, you take heat for it, but the Rx lesson is always TO FIND YOUR OWN PATH. The Rx planet says to ignore outside influence, outside expectations, outside common beliefs, etc. You have to build your own road as you go. You construct it as you see fit. And actually with Rx placements I've seen that eventually there is a place you get to to where it feels like home and there's no where else you'd like to be. You've carved your own path, you know your own mind about it, against the grain but you can't be any other way. So obviously this isn't something I've read in a book. 
And some things really are that simple. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2011 08:36 PM
Hi Lonake! Finding your own path and being different is awesome. I'm glad you have. I see that as Aquarius energy. quote:
ignore outside influence, outside expectations, outside common beliefs
I attribute all of this to planets that are in fall or detriment - going against the grain!
But not to 'retros'.
---
From my perspective 'the retrograde' aspect does not stand for this. It stands for something more emotionally complicated and past-life related.
I have my own thoughts regarding what it might mean.. but I'd rather not go into it - as all aspects can signify different things to different people.. and I probably couldn't explain in so many words anyway.
I don't find it simple from a third person perspective. Maybe it's simple from your own perspective since you have this aspect in your chart. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2011 08:40 PM
"From my perspective 'the retrograde' aspect does not stand for this. It stands for something more emotionally complicated and past-life related. "Can you give examples here of people you know? IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2011 08:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I have my own thoughts regarding what it might mean.. but I'd rather not go into it - as all aspects can signify different things to different people.. and I probably couldn't explain in so many words anyway.
That's a BS response since you asked me to clarify my position and even thought it may have just come out of a book. I spent time looking over a good number of charts to write my response to give examples of what you asked about as best I could.Do you think other people wouldn't want to hear addtl insight?
But OK. Keep it to yourself if you must.
I'm gonna consider it void on your part since there's no explanation or backup. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2011 08:52 PM
Lonake - No. You took it the wrong way.
I'd like to give you insight but it's a problem for me because these are things that bring tears to my eyes and make me feel bad.. so I don't like re-caping certain events - and - it's also stuff that would belong in sweet peas, not Astro.If you want, I can email you! IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2011 08:56 PM
Wow, I am so sorry for your experiences with this, I had no idea. I can see how you would need time to get through the feelings first before you sort it out. No worries at all you don't have to email, just please get better  I mean, if you want to email anything you can, but I don't need a response about this topic. Be well,  !IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2011 09:34 PM
It's ok. You don't have to be sorry. I shouldn't have started talking about it in the first place. I think what I said sounded offensive in the first post. I would like to email you because I want to share the info, but I just feel so weird about it. I know eight people closely with either Venus/Mars retro: my dad, my first step dad & his own father, my *second* step-grandmother, my first love, two family friends and my uncle. These stories are either very sad or they make me angry or they are about things which were said to me in confidence (which I would just feel horrible repeating since I promised to keep them secret). There are maybe two things I could talk about but I really don't know.. It makes me uncomfortable. I shouldn't have gone there. I'm sorry because now it's like I made you (and maybe other people) curious... and I feel like I'm letting you down by failing to explain.
Next time I'll keep my big mouth shut!  IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2011 09:35 PM
This is SUCH a classic Pisces mercury fuk-up!*slaps self*
IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1333
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2011 09:46 PM
Ok I know what I could do. There were two interpretations on Venus retro and Mars retro which I had saved at some point. I think it's all on my old computer. These were not typical/run of the mill interps.. They were interesting, had depth, and I found them accurate based on what I know about the people close to me, who have this.
I'll try to find them and post the links or upload them. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4591
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2011 12:46 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
These stories are either very sad or they make me angry or they are about things which were said to me in confidence (which I would just feel horrible repeating since I promised to keep them secret). There are maybe two things I could talk about but I really don't know.. It makes me uncomfortable.
Don't even sweat it, if it makes you uncomfortable then it's not the right thing to do, esp if told in confidence I completely get that. IP: Logged |
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