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Author
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Topic: Ever wished for death?
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esheep123
Knowflake Posts: 192
From: brooklyn, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted July 18, 2011 09:07 PM
  
Not sure if it's Pluto transiting the ascendant, or if it's just me. But the past week or two, I just wish to be dead.And I realize I have a lot to live for... I wouldnt take my life into my own hands, I don't know if that's the next step, but tractor trailers, and lightening strikes sound pretty darn tempting... I feel lost. Besides you know, my other thread, I've gotten lost in other ways. I've lost my willpower, I've lost my need to be justified, I've lost my God and my religion, I've lost my love of what I used to love. It's selfish. I think "Oh, my kids will be okay." I think "eh, who's gonna mourn over me anyway?" I feel very messed up. And to top it all off, my broken heart is nursing many different wounds at once. I don't know what to do, who to turn to, what I should do next. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 17249
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 18, 2011 09:14 PM
Yes Darling
Are you on FB? I know we are not supposed to ask on the main thread but I will erase it after you answer.
I UNDERSTAND the being trapped in a horrible situation.I lived it !!!!!!!!!------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
sassaqua
Knowflake Posts: 322
From: Australia
Registered: May 2011
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posted July 18, 2011 09:21 PM
Hi esheep123,sorry you feeling so very lost and despairing. I can feel like this too. I'm mostly ok, but when I go down, I go all the way. I have a broken heart too, it feels very heavy. It's not so much to do with a romantic relationship either, it's more spiritual/global for me. You are not alone, so very many folks are feeling that lost and despairing feeling. Will we all go down together then? What's your dear broken heart nursing?
Will a chart reading help? Sending prayer of support to you
 IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4883
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2011 09:37 PM
You got it! Pluto is the urge for self-annihilation. All in the name of transformation, that is the unexpressed need. It will enter any door that is open, it just seeks expression. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 3102
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2011 10:01 PM
I have.IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 3102
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2011 10:02 PM
.IP: Logged |
crabclaws
Newflake Posts: 20
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted July 18, 2011 11:37 PM
Sorry that your feeling that way and I am not sure if I am in the postion to give advice since I don't know you but I think that as long as your don't have any health issues then there should be a solution to your problems.Maybe you need something to scare you into not feeling this way so here it goes. I you where thinking of ending it all and you belive in a christian religion then YOU KNOW YOUR GOING TO HELL IF YOU DO IT. Hope this helps. IP: Logged |
AstrologicalMan
Knowflake Posts: 435
From: Brickenton
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted July 19, 2011 04:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by esheep123:
Not sure if it's Pluto transiting the ascendant, or if it's just me. But the past week or two, I just wish to be dead.And I realize I have a lot to live for... I wouldnt take my life into my own hands, I don't know if that's the next step, but tractor trailers, and lightening strikes sound pretty darn tempting... I feel lost. Besides you know, my other thread, I've gotten lost in other ways. I've lost my willpower, I've lost my need to be justified, I've lost my God and my religion, I've lost my love of what I used to love. It's selfish. I think "Oh, my kids will be okay." I think "eh, who's gonna mourn over me anyway?" I feel very messed up. And to top it all off, my broken heart is nursing many different wounds at once. I don't know what to do, who to turn to, what I should do next.
This is a typical feeling that all people go through when they are on the brink of spiritual evolution. Just go with the flow and the stream will take you into the ocean of bliss. Do not wish for death or harm on yourself, these are just negative entity thoughts trying to keep you from the path to enlightenment and understanding of the True God. IP: Logged |
MertSerimer
Knowflake Posts: 595
From: where the fun is
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted July 19, 2011 04:51 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
You got it! Pluto is the urge for self-annihilation. All in the name of [b]transformation, that is the unexpressed need. It will enter any door that is open, it just seeks expression.[/B]
Yes, This is why i like PLuto. First it pulls you to hell, underground and starts torturing until you do necessary transformations. Since PLuto is GOD OF WEALTH, after necessary SACRIFICE is done you go back to your world with a lot of wealth(spiritual, emotional, personality wealth) which pluto gives you. I have strong pluto in 8th house. Also trine Moon. I transform like hell sometimes i enjoy the pain =)))). IP: Logged |
AstrologicalMan
Knowflake Posts: 435
From: Brickenton
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted July 19, 2011 04:53 AM
This is a typical feeling that all people go through when they are on the brink of spiritual evolution. Just go with the flow and the stream will take you into the ocean of bliss. Do not wish for death or harm on yourself, these are just negative entity thoughts trying to keep you from the path to enlightenment and understanding of the True God which gave you the love of your twin flame. To be united when you are ready. I heal all wounds.IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1291
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 19, 2011 07:18 AM
i hope your phase will pass quickly.i also had periods like that. but i never thought i wanted to kill myself. i just wished it was over, and thought about "stop being alive", but not about "dying". it's a bit different. but once, when i was going through so many injustice and mistreatments in a country where i was determined to make it and invested everything into, i once passed out on the floor where i was volunteering to work, alone, from an extreme pain in the stomach. for the first time in my life, as i laid on the floor staring at the ceiling, i thought, "i want to be dead right now, i cannot endure this pain, it's really ok, family and friends will manage when i'm dead". it was an insane pain! it turned out it was all only caused by stress... there was nothing from with my body. i was really shocked that i "admitted" to the idea of death for the very first time... and last, too. it was like stepping into another realm. things didn't improve after that so much, it was a lot of ups and downs. it was my Saturn return, and tr. Pluto was going over my Stellium in the 1st house. now i'm over the worst, all renewed and wiser. i changed, but became more the true-me, shedding unnecessary things. that's Pluto's spartan lesson. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 17249
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 19, 2011 07:22 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MertSerimer:
Yes, This is why i like PLuto. First it pulls you to hell, underground and starts torturing until you do necessary transformations. Since PLuto is GOD OF WEALTH, after necessary SACRIFICE is done you go back to your world with a lot of wealth(spiritual, emotional, personality wealth) which pluto gives you. I have strong pluto in 8th house. Also trine Moon. I transform like hell sometimes i enjoy the pain =)))).
------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 2724
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 19, 2011 07:59 PM
Pluto truly drags you through blood and fire before you see the light. I don't wish to lecture you because you are truly at a low point, but I do hope you find your strength, Esheep. IP: Logged |
Doreen
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 19, 2011 08:19 PM
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger
Hang in there
Hugs IP: Logged |
mochai
Knowflake Posts: 1009
From: Charon
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 19, 2011 10:19 PM
Death of who we are and change can be very painful, but without death we'd never evolve to something greater. The hardest and most painful part is in your perception and attachment. Many years from now you'll look back and admire the strength you had in this circumstance and the choices you've made and hopefully you'll see it from a broader perspective.I just hope you don't give up on god altogether. God only gives us what we need to evolve and he gives us leeway to create what we want at a speed we want in that evolution. I'm glad that you've opened up here to us on Lindaland  . My advice is to make sure your basic needs are met and take it easy for a while. Healing can take time. Learn to love yourself.. You need that now more than ever. As far as the whole hell thing.. that's just depressing. I've known a number of people who've killed themselves in past lives. Yeah, there are repercussions but the eternity of damnation thing? I see no comfort in that. You'll make it through. Maybe you can be with and try to channel your feelings creatively? That alleviated Edvard Munch's depression ultimately. IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 808
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted July 20, 2011 09:53 AM
esheep123, yes like its mentioned above, it could be Pluto effect. It does feel that way. And many times such thoughts come up. Just like everyone is telling you. GO THROUGH IT. You can get transformed. I am going through this too. And plus i have my Seven Year Saturn cyle now. So it is actually likely. But whatever happens this way or that way we get transformed. So don't worry. Never choose to end yourself though. Just go through it. Take one day at a time. Live that time,that moment to the fullest. Whatever mindset we may be in that time, it doesn't matter. Live it. Don't think too much of tomorrow or of the past. Even if we do, finally a stage comes when we don't because that all appears meaningless. JUST LIVE. Even these feelings will pass and you will come out at last like a person who rises after hitting rock bottom. DON'T WORRY. Everything seeks balance so after lots of melancholy, indifference, meaninglessness POSITIVITY IS BOUND TO COME.  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 17249
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 20, 2011 09:54 AM
I hope she is OK.She has not responded.------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 808
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted July 20, 2011 09:57 AM
Yes. I think.IP: Logged |
racole12
Knowflake Posts: 987
From: the world is my home!
Registered: Feb 2010
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posted July 20, 2011 01:58 PM
When transit Pluto was opposite of my ASC... I completely went thru this phase... IP: Logged |
rajji
Moderator Posts: 923
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted July 20, 2011 11:23 PM
AH!Dark night of the soul.I have been through it.Many seekers would encourage the dark night experience if they knew what it was. However, to one engaged in the dark night, suffering seems unending. In fact, they may pass through several until they experience the profound joy of their true nature.
IP: Logged |
PiscesGirl
Knowflake Posts: 26
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted July 21, 2011 12:42 AM
esheep123 you have been given a lot of wonderful advise here and I really don't have anything to offer further in that dept. So I come offering the only thing I do have for you((((((((((((((esheep123))))))))))))))) IP: Logged |
Anglerfish
Knowflake Posts: 370
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted July 21, 2011 01:58 AM
Esheep, Once you hit the bottom the only way is up. I know from experience. Try finding a nice warm and sunny spot and sit there and meditate. I find you'll be a lot calmer when you have allow yourself to fully relax for a time, even if it's for 15 min a day. ------------------
Transit Saturn giveth and Transit Saturn taketh away... IP: Logged |
Doreen
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 22, 2011 07:39 AM
Hello
esheep123
How are you doing today ?
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 17249
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 22, 2011 08:40 AM
I hope she is OK  ------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 808
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted July 22, 2011 09:03 AM
Yes I hope too!IP: Logged |
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