posted September 26, 2011 06:56 AM            

I hated being the Saturn person, as it's not in my Saggie nature to guide, or enforce, or restrict anybodies habits, but this person was like a child about to run into the street!

posted September 26, 2011 07:36 AM            

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Originally posted by GypseeWind:
My husband and I have Saturn sq Sun.
He's Saturn.
We've been together for 25 years.
We have broken up in the past, but even when we are broken up, we can't stay away from one another.
The last time we broke up, I was with another person who I had Saturn sq. Sun with.
This time I was Saturn.

I hated being the Saturn person, as it's not in my Saggie nature to guide, or enforce, or restrict anybodies habits, but this person was like a child about to run into the street!

It was all too much and I ended up back with my husband.
I still think about the other person, but I know I could never be in that type of relationship again, so, I think it's really important as to who is Saturn. Make sure that you can handle that responsibility if you are the Saturn person, otherwise you will start feeling very put upon!

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I know people who are the Saturn in the relationship always speak like this, but the thing I'm staring to wonder is, if it's more a case of the Saturn person just thinking the other person is clueless and needs their constant nagging and 'guidance', whether it's actually true or not? That somehow that aspect just immediately makes them super-critical and judgmental whether it's actually warranted or not - similar to how Neptune contacts will make the Neptune person not see the other clearly and they'll idealize them and see them as angelic, whether it's true or not.

posted September 26, 2011 11:29 PM            

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Originally posted by Taineberry:
I have been married to my husband for 27 years. My natal saturn is very stressed - it squares Moon,Venus,Mercury and Neptune (no easy aspects). His Saturn is also stressed as it squares his Moon and conjuncts Jupiter. These are our synastry aspects involving Saturn :
(me first him second):

Saturn square Ceres
Saturn square Ascendant
Saturn opposite Uranus
Saturn conjunct South Node
Saturn Sextile moon
South Node conjunct Saturn
Ascendant square Saturn
Mercury trine Saturn
Venus trine Saturn
Vesta trine Saturn
Moon sextile Saturn

In our relationship we have an enormously strong bond that has endured many difficult challenges, but there is also an underlying sense of responsibility to each other which is probably something to do with the South Node. We love each other dearly, and this has gone beyond the honeymoon-variety-of-love. In fact, neither of us are needy or co-dependent at all, but I would say out of the two of us I am the stabilizing force, much calmer and less volatile than him.

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posted September 27, 2011 02:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:

I know people who are the Saturn in the relationship always speak like this, but the thing I'm staring to wonder is, if it's more a case of the Saturn person just thinking the other person is clueless and needs their constant nagging and 'guidance', whether it's actually true or not? That somehow that aspect just immediately makes them super-critical and judgmental whether it's actually warranted or not - similar to how Neptune contacts will make the Neptune person not see the other clearly and they'll idealize them and see them as angelic, whether it's true or not.

I've actually been the other person on the receiving end of that Saturn treatment, and trust me, I was fine long before I knew the person and didn't need them or their guidance. Actually his own life was a total mess in a lot of ways, he had (and still has) a LOT of serious personal issues, and he'd made a lot of big mistakes in his past that I never have and never would, so it was weird to me that he thought I was just aimless and clueless and broken and needed him to play Daddy and verbally beat me into shape.

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posted September 27, 2011 03:07 AM            

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Originally posted by Moonfish:
Wow, never heard of a double whammy with saturn-asc. How does that aspect feel?

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His Saturn is conjunct my Midheaven. Even though he earns well and is a hard worker himself, he expects me also to work just as hard, and is supportive of me career-wise. He expects me stand on my own two feet, be responsible for my own career, grow professionally, earn my own money, make my own way in the world and not just sponge off him. Bang goes any ideas of a free ride for me! He gives me no quarter when I feel that things are hard or if I want to be a slacker, but he doesn't let me down either. In public sitations we have always acted with restraint and control to each other - no fighting, emotional outbursts etc. Although we obviously do many things together, he expects me to also develop independent interests and social life which (me being quite shy) was quite hard to do initially, but now I really enjoy.

My Saturn is on his IC, and boy oh boy,I don't allow him to feel sorry for himself. I expect him to be psychologically strong and not slack in family and home responsibilities. I think he gets a lot of his inner security from me because I am a naturally stable person (I may look sweet but I have STEEL inside me). I am hard on him when I sense his inner compass is going off course, and I don't indulge him if he throws wobblies on the domestic front. If he does do something to rattle my foundations, well, lets just say I tend to close off and he has to work hard to earn back his standing in my eyes. I do support him emotionally though if his need is genuine.

I suppose this all sounds very "hard" and unromantic, but really it is more about setting boundaries and in the long run I think we have both benefited from not being overly-indulgent of each other in certain areas. We do support each other when the chips are genuinely down, but we don't put up with each others nonsense.

posted September 27, 2011 12:36 PM            

Saturn in synastry is not about enabling what you think is substandard behaviour in another. (You don't have to be a pig about it, Saturn connections can be respectful as well as firm). If the non-Saturn party doesn't like it, they need to find someone else who doesn't demand that they shine up around them."

Very well said and very true. My connections are much more "nice" than yours. But it all comes down to boundaries it seems. And we do tend to be firm with each other, which keeps us both on track in a sense but its a mutual thing and both no when to back down and listen and grow.
I have a quick question for you though...you wrote earlier about your Synastry...(you first him second) that you have:

Venus trine Saturn
Vesta trine Saturn
Moon sextile Saturn

How does this affect you, sense he is the Saturn person in these connections?

posted September 27, 2011 12:47 PM            

Gotcha, how does that make you feel though? I guess what Im getting at is that when the connections in synastry are double whammies, you actually like it, I know I do. Its like playing a game with a team mate that you know is going to push you not just to play better but will perform just as well even if you drop the ball, they have your back in a sense.
In this way you dont feel like its to much as in other Saturn cases whethers its trines or squares but dont have double whammies...it just seems to be less restricting because its balanced. Im thinking that allows more of a playing field for long term growth together rather than seperation due to feeling restricted which is what seems to be what people think that Saturn relationships are.... something to run from instead of actually growing in.

But what exactly do you feel is Karmic about that? From day one did you and your husband always have that type of Energy between you?

posted September 27, 2011 03:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by oneruledbymars:

Gotcha, how does that make you feel though? I guess what Im getting at is that when the connections in synastry are double whammies, you actually like it, I know I do. Its like playing a game with a team mate that you know is going to push you not just to play better but will perform just as well even if you drop the ball, they have your back in a sense.
In this way you dont feel like its to much as in other Saturn cases whethers its trines or squares but dont have double whammies...it just seems to be less restricting because its balanced. Im thinking that allows more of a playing field for long term growth together rather than seperation due to feeling restricted which is what seems to be what people think that Saturn relationships are.... something to run from instead of actually growing in.

But what exactly do you feel is Karmic about that? From day one did you and your husband always have that type of Energy between you?

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What you said about the double whammies being a game is a really great analogy, as it does then even the playing field. When I was reading your post, the word "rigorous" came to mind, like a tennis match you are playing against a really strong opponent. From one point of view it looks adversarial, but if you look at it in another way the so called opponent is actually helping you to do what it takes to get to the top of your own game. And you are doing the same for them. It is all a matter of perspective!!

Everyone's got a Saturn so I think if you went through life worrying about whether you have a Saturn contact with someone, you probably won't have much luck finding ANY relationship. More important is to find someone whose Saturn pushes you to be more exacting and mature in the expression of your planet, but does not overstep their role and become a bully in the process, or at least if you are strong enough to prevent from doing that so they don't get the chance.

As for me, how do I feel with his Saturn trining/sextiling my Venus/Merc/Moon?? Well, don't forget that MY OWN Saturn is actually at the apex of a t-square to all those planets, so I am a dab hand at dealing with Saturn energy on them. I would probably feel all at sea without some familiar Saturn energy shouting in my ear to to improve on my act, exercise better self-discipline, blah blah. His Saturn is a doddle, by comparison, and I take his pressure on me with a pinch of salt as I know it comes from a place inside him that needs structure and craves certainty and control because somewhere deep down he doesn't believe he has it.

We actually have 3 double whammies to "play" with - Saturn square Asc; Saturn sextile Moon, and Saturn conjunct South Node.

posted September 27, 2011 04:28 PM              

But it might just be me, as my Saturn is in Cancer in 8th house and the Suna nd the Moon were in my 4th house. So it might simply be that.

posted September 27, 2011 08:02 PM            

I have a hunch the South Node one is the most Karmic!!! This is just speculation - but perhaps we had a past life where we tested each other rigorously, or had to exercise some kind of self-discipline? Maybe we were even foes or arch enemies, or owed each other some enormous debt? I don't know. All I know is the moment I clapped eyes on him I knew I would marry him - for better or worse"

You guys have a most interesting dynamic. How does he feel about Astrology and other occult topics?

So interesting...I have 3 as well...Sun opp/conj Sun....Saturn trine Moon...Saturn opp/conjunct Pluto.

Pluto forced us to transcend the Karma we had very early on...but I knew who he was from the moment he said hi...and it was very serious and intense from day one because of that sense of duty...for us both its like we have this inner knowing that know one can love either of us like we love the other...and this isnt our first time at the rodeo so we know by knowing.

posted October 27, 2011 01:40 PM            

My current boyfriend of almost 5 months has:
Sun - Scorpio
Moon - Aries
Mercury - Sagittarius
Venus - Sagittarius
Mars - Capricorn
Saturn - Scorpio

Me:
Sun - Libra
Moon - Libra
Mercury - Scorpio
Venus - Scorpio
Mars - Libra
Saturn - Sagittarius

As you can see,
His saturn conjuncts my mercury
His saturn conjuncts my venus
His saturn conjuncts my ascendant
His saturn conjuncts my pluto
His saturn conjuncts his sun in natal

My saturn conjuncts his mercury
My saturn conjuncts his venus

His moon (aries) opposite my sun (libra)
His sun conjuncts my venus/mercury (scorpio)
Venus is in my 1st house, natal

His moon conjuncts my N.Node
His sun opposite my descendent

We have composite venus conjunct mars and venus in 3rd house. Sun conjunct pluto, Venus conjunct saturn, Mars conjunct saturn, Sun trine jupiter, Moon trine mercury, Mars/venus square jupiter.

It's very early in the relationship and I already have the keys to his house, I go over every weekend and stay there for a couple of nights. Infact, he has already indirectly hinted that he wanted me to go and stay during weekdays also..but when I directly asked him what he thought of living together with somebody (like me) his answer was "I don't know..."

Being a scorpion, I know he likes to keep his feelings and emotions bottled up inside..secrets and all. He constantly loves to stare at me, to a point where I have to smile or laugh awkwardly. I sometimes tend to shrug off his little scorpion displays of affection however...

And it doesn't help that he comes from a culture where indirect-ness is 'the way of living' >____<

posted October 27, 2011 08:09 PM            

I felt he was way to demanding... I RAN!!

posted January 25, 2013 02:44 PM            

However, we both have similar Saturn themes in our natals. The one that stands out the most is we both have Sun sextile Saturn in our natals.

I also agree with others who have said that the whole overly criticizing thing MUST be kept in check. One must realize the other person is doing just fine, and that it is a test in acceptance and adaptability. The other day I found myself thinking about her communication style and how it bugged me sometimes.

Then I realized I was being unnecessarily critical of her communication style and realized I had to understand the she just communicated differently than what I expect and am used to so the onus is on me to accept her style as is and adapt as much as I can to it. This is where astrology actually helped me.

Had I not known about the negative affects of Mercury square Saturn and the general nature of Mercury Rx, I might have brought my issues up with her and caused an unnecessary rift between us. Most times, our conversation is really good and just flows easily despite the Saturn Merc aspects.

Her Saturn is 24˚ Virgo, My Saturn is 25˚ Leo
Her Sun is 23˚ Scorpio, My Sun is 24˚ Gemini
Her Mercury is 1˚ Sagittarius RX, My Mercury is 25˚ Gemini
Her Venus is 15˚ Sagittarius, My Venus is 29˚ Cancer
Her Mars is 28˚ Leo, My Mars is 0˚ Virgo
Her Jupiter is 7˚ Virgo, My Jupiter is 12˚ Cancer

Her Saturn squares my Sun 0˚35a
My Saturn squares her Sun 2˚06a

Her Saturn squares my Mercury 0˚51s
My Saturn squares her Mercury 5˚53a (by degree but trines by sign)

Her Saturn sextiles my Venus 4˚31s
My Saturn trines her Venus by sign 10˚ (Leo Sag)

My Saturn conjuncts her Mars 2˚27s
Her Saturn is in same sign as my Mars (Virgo)

Her Saturn quintiles my Jupiter 0˚28a
Our Saturns semisextile each other 1˚06a

Her Saturn trines my MC really wide 7˚28s

In the Composite we have Saturn conjunct Mercury 3˚ and Sun 2˚.

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Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Gemini Mercury
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars
Virgo Asc