posted October 11, 2011 10:30 PM            

in our family, there was my nana, my twin, me and my mom. My dad? He has to go to abroad because of his work and so me and my sister would only see him occasionally...the longest time we've been around him is about three years which is still going in the present.

My mum is a virgo, she's really strict..she doesn't wanna let me out of the house without finishing my homework and stuff, not to mention the additional hours for me to study things in my book in advance, I've always felt under pressure when it comes to my studies and eventually feeling stressed for every mistake that I do (because she always points out my mistakes even the ones that I did in the past and I never really felt appreciated. I always got hit by a belt or a cloth hanger or a wooden stick when I did something wrong..) In elementary, I graduated as valedictorian of my class, yeah, you must be thinking I am happy now because I got the award, well in fact, no. My mum put more pressure on me, when I started high school, she kept comparing me with other 'smart' kids and always scaring me that if I don't study hard (as if I'm not!) I'll fail miserably in my life.....I've always felt manipulated and controlled by my parents.

I feel that this maybe one of the reasons why I don't have a great social life (Saturn in the 5th, i guess?). I wanted freedom, play with other kids and such (my saggie moon right there) but me, being practically 'locked' inside our house doing study, study, study, I am actually losing my self-confidence.. I found myself being so shy around big crowds and sometimes, find it hard to make friends. When we migrated to other country where we are currently staying at the moment so that we can be with our dad, I've overcome my shyness, although it still strikes sometimes, I started to gain my self-confidence, I realized that sometimes I don't always have to follow what they say because I also have my own decision and that what makes me a real person.

I guess acting like they actually love me and my sister will help me believe that they love us and not by just buying things for us that they think we might like. I'd rather have nothing at all and feel that they care than have everything but feel so empty...

posted October 11, 2011 10:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RedScorp:
Have you any contact with them now or...? Is it just something you shan't have?

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posted October 11, 2011 11:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by heartstrings:

btw, I'm 17 yrs. old (am I the youngest here?) and will be graduating from high school only in a couple of days!! hehehe, sorry for blabbing to much about my life but I guess I helped a bit??

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posted October 11, 2011 11:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Lioness:

I guess not having family members is meant for me.

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Oh Gosh Lioness... So sorry to hear that. All the Leos I've known really hold tight to family, (you know lions, they need their "pride") so to be without one must feel like a lion all alone.

Well, even with a family, you can still be alone. I have Cancer on the IC, and an empty 4th. Even with my parents and brother around, might as well be an orphan myself. All our relatives are on the other coast. I've met them the whopping total of twice in my life. Can't even remember some of their names now. Don't have any addresses, phone numbers, or email addresses.

I have no clue what's it like when people talk about big family gatherings. The ones with all the younger cousins sleeping on the floor together, talking all night. No clue what it's like for any kind of extended family.

As it is right now, I have contact with my parents and brother, but just barely. We see each other, but they simply bring me too much pain to really stay in close touch. It's easier being alone, then it is to constantly be criticized, and made the scapegoat all the time. Oh, how I long for a *real* family. Like a mother I could actually talk to, and not constantly be talked down to. Or a father who showed any interest in what it is I do. In my case, nothing.

posted October 11, 2011 11:35 PM            

Actually which is what I have done..
My friends, are my family Plus of course my kids!... Ive had the same friends since HS..

I guess they way I have compensated, is through the Hispanic culture..

Majority of my friends are all Hispanic, and they have really close family ties.. Which I greatly admire...
Since Ive had the same friends forever, I know all of their families and go to all their family parties and events...
Im the adopted cousin

posted October 11, 2011 11:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RedScorp:
Well I don't wanna admit my age because of a certain (dare I say, special) someone here. And yes sir! Any input is good. I feel for you. What are your post-secondary plans, might I ask?

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posted October 12, 2011 01:21 PM            

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Originally posted by northernlad:
I'm not really sure how my 4th house describes my childhood. My IC is in Aries, and I have Mars in Cancer in the 7th. My dad was absent for a large portion of my childhood, and when my folks split there was a nasty custody battle. I have no planets in the 4th at all. Mars is sextile my Virgo Moon, trine Scorpio Pluto, conjunct Sun in Cancer and opposite Cappy Neptune. I've got issues with both of my parents, but I've had a harder time trying to figure out my father in my natal chart.

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posted October 12, 2011 01:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
Thanks.. But never worry about a Lioness.. They will just join a new pride

Actually which is what I have done..
My friends, are my family Plus of course my kids!... Ive had the same friends since HS..

I guess they way I have compensated, is through the Hispanic culture..

Majority of my friends are all Hispanic, and they have really close family ties.. Which I greatly admire...
Since Ive had the same friends forever, I know all of their families and go to all their family parties and events...
Im the adopted cousin

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posted October 12, 2011 01:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anongrl10:
What's happening on your 10th house (opp 4th)?

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posted October 14, 2011 07:38 AM            

My 4th house is in Leo and my moon is in Cancer. Now,given this new piece of information,I am not sure where my IC would be.

Accordiing to astrology-numerology, people with 4th house Leo "run the roost".

Well, my childhood does not have as much trauma as those of others(thank God). I just recall that that I was a proud child who didn't like to get yelled at and "expected" things to be given to me.

I wasn't a brat or anything,nor did I come from any royal bloodline(lol), but I always expected the best because of who I was. And I always expected people to acknowledge me when I walked into the room(talk about conceit! Aih)

I had an absent Father(emotionally); who was more keen in gallavanting around with his mates and all sorts of women than play "Dad".

As I write this, I am waivering between two notions:

I used to think that my Dad has a Moon in Capricorn; as this would explain why he was so indifferent to us whilst we were growing up(or atleast it felt like that).

But now I think that his moon is probably in Sagittarius; as he used to have itchy feet,act very irresponsibly(and still does), be apathethic(and still is) and generally is still uncomfortable with the role of being a "Dad"(like he expected us to fend for ourselves whilst we were kids).

My mom, however, was fabulous. Tender but firm and always very encouraging. I think it was her firm holding on the home life that made life without Dad, absolutely wonderfull.

posted October 14, 2011 03:33 PM            

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