posted November 02, 2011 07:32 PM            

I was originally supposed to see my guy this Saturday but, since I have consideration for him, I really need to study for exams next week so I told him last night if we could reschedule, he said tonight would be fine. I explained to him I was going to be busy and couldn't plan whatever activities we had for Saturday. SO he said Tonight. So here I am, *actually* wanting to go out of my way to plan a nice meal for him since the last time I didn't he sulked and was upset. And since I read some of you guy's responses about Cancer placements loving food etc. I got excited and planned the evening out. So, 15 minutes ago i call him and ask him what time he wants to get ready etc. Than he gets quiet and tells me,
"Im sorry, Babe. But a situation just happened" I said, "Oh what situation?" he said "My friend, Alex, well he has family problems and his dad is very upset with him and he got kicked out, so I offered that he could stay at my place tonight." This was me: "................................ . . . . . ................................................................ . . . ." He asked, "babe?" I said "............. . . ." You know trying to take in the bullsh*t LOL. I said, ".............." he asked again "babe?" I said in my most chipper voice, "Okay! Okay great! Thats fine. Okay, I need to go now." and he interrupted with, "Babe wait. Im sorry, he just needed my help. But why can't we go with our original plans for Saturday?" I said "Its cool, I gotta go Don't worry." And he said "What do you mean? I asked you a question why can't we go back to Saturday?"
1. I was furious that he probably wouldn't have called me UNTIL I did...
2. In that moment I felt really annoyed that he put his friend over me. (yeah maybe thats a little self-centered..)
3. Instead of being angry i kind of lost all feeling. And it still continues. RIght now I don't even want to speak to him. I don't know why, I don't know if I am personally being selfish or what...

I am more upset of the fact that relationships are hard for me, I do not put others before me, and with this guy I kind of am, I mean I am trying to understand his ways, I am trying you know? And the fact that I cooked for him.. that really upsets me. I don't cook for just anyone.. I am taking his needs in and wanting to accommodate them. So I don't know, it just upset me. Now all the food is going to waste. And apart of me feels like closing off from him. I most likely will just not speak to him for a week or two, thats how upset I am. I also prefer not to speak to people when they've upset me. I truly feel he probably wouldn't have called to even tell me the "Situation" unless I did. Im curious if someone with a lot of cancer placements would act that way?

posted November 02, 2011 08:34 PM            

I am the same when a guy puts his friend first over me it reallly rubs me the wrong way bc when I am in a relationship with a guy I approach relationship like a friendship so I think to myself that I am his best friend and even if we break up will continue to be there for him so I feel he should make me priority. Its unfortunate that his friend ended up needing him the same night that you cooked for him but try to forgive him, relationships are hard not just for you but for a lot of people so do not feel discouraged.

Let him know that you have exams next week to study for and bc of this you cannot meet on Sunday and instead planned on meeting with him today and even prepared a meal for him to show him you care about the relationship.

posted November 02, 2011 08:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
The fact that you cooked for him is huge....I have never cooked for a guy in my life so I KNOW that you cooking for him really shows that you are trying hard to show him you care and meet him half way.

I am the same when a guy puts his friend first over me it reallly rubs me the wrong way bc when I am in a relationship with a guy I approach relationship like a friendship so I think to myself that I am his best friend and even if we break up will continue to be there for him so I feel he should make me priority. Its unfortunate that his friend ended up needing him the same night that you cooked for him but try to forgive him, relationships are hard not just for you but for a lot of people so do not feel discouraged.

Let him know that you have exams next week to study for and bc of this you cannot meet on Sunday and instead planned on meeting with him today and even prepared a meal for him to show him you care about the relationship.

I am soooooo sorry hon that his friend ended up needing him the night you decided to make such a big gesture but forgive and reschedule this night were you decided to cook him a meal to after you take your exams next week. If you break up with him over this you will regret it, I know from personal experience so be strong and be the bigger person, I know its hard but I Know you can do it.

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posted November 02, 2011 09:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
I can't get back with him at this point as much as I wish I could bc he is probably my twin flame but is too late. We will always be friends however and have an unbreakable bond.

Good luck with your tests next week too !

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posted November 02, 2011 10:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Does your hubby know about this guy?
I think that is kind of cute how you broke up with him on impulse.. I did that so many times before with my guy now.. but he wouldn't accept it. I tried to 'run' away a lot. and cancel seeing him/being with him it was bad. but i only got like that because I didn't trust him/wasn't secure with him. And thank you!

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posted November 02, 2011 10:10 PM            

Between you and me, I dont want that kind of karma, then in my next lifetime I will not be with my twinflame and instead working out karma with him once again LOL.

posted November 02, 2011 10:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
This is exactly how it is with my husband! I break up a lot with him on impulse unfortunately. When a fight gets bad enough all I can think is "I want to break up, I want to break up, I deserve better" and as you have I have tried running a way numerous times and he stops me and doesn't let me! and then after a few hours I give him to the idea of staying with him and we end up together. I have always been this way, impulsive about breaking up.

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Ah its so funny that you are the same way. So quick to want to end the relationship HAHA! actually that makes me feel a lot better knowing SOMEONE else is like this.... I thought I was crazy but even tonight after the phone convo, i said "WOW I DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER how dare he do this to me how dare he choose his friend over me blah blah blah im moving on mentally so when i see him i will end the relationship" HAHA pathetic right???

posted November 02, 2011 10:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:

Oh gosh I am like this too. Its so embarassing to admit, but I think of the most awful resort and thats ending it, I think "Wow screw this I deserve SOOO MUCH better! I am ending this/mentally going to move on from you cause I dont deserve this." And than I realize how immature I am being or he has to talk sense into me. Dammit dumb pisces moon and venus. Do you have water placements in your chart?

Ah its so funny that you are the same way. So quick to want to end the relationship HAHA! actually that makes me feel a lot better knowing SOMEONE else is like this.... I thought I was crazy but even tonight after the phone convo, i said "WOW I DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER how dare he do this to me how dare he choose his friend over me blah blah blah im moving on mentally so when i see him i will end the relationship" HAHA pathetic right???

I think its cute that you two are married. I *secretly* hope I get to that stage one day. And I agree, relationships are NOT easy.. I am way too care free to get it.. and now I do... I was talking to my taurus male friend hes dating my good friend shes a scorpio and I told him i was in a relationship, and he was shocked. He was like "What! you're a commitment phobe! You hate relationships!" And I was briefly telling him our relationship and he tells me, "Man you gotta stop that. Youre in a relationship now. Its hard work.. you can't be talking to guys like that anymore even if its nothing, you gotta consider your mates feelings too." After he gave me that talk i felt so bad. When Im in a relationship i still think "oh i can still be myself" and i actually can't I have to consider another person's feelings which is new for me. So i am learning but I am very open to growing within myself.. What is married life like? Ah I wish i could get married some day! But this is something i WILL NEVER tell my guy. NEVER.. even though he's mentioned it to me. bahaha!

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I have moon in pisces too. Enjoy this stage of not been married with him...there is no rush. Go for it when you truly feel ready for it not bc is expected of you. All I can say is that married life is forcing me to increase my relationships skills. You and I are currently in the same boat except you are not married.

posted November 02, 2011 10:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
Curious.....Do you have NN in the 7th or NN in Libra by any chance?

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posted November 03, 2011 01:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Does your hubby know about this guy?
I think that is kind of cute how you broke up with him on impulse.. I did that so many times before with my guy now.. but he wouldn't accept it. I tried to 'run' away a lot. and cancel seeing him/being with him it was bad. but i only got like that because I didn't trust him/wasn't secure with him. And thank you!

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See? That's why I love Cancers. I can't even count how many times I've "broken up" with my guy Cancer best friend. Gone without speaking for months and we'll still speak as if the fight never happened. We both had tempers when we were young, and we were both dramatic lmao.

posted November 03, 2011 01:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
See? That's why I love Cancers. I can't even count how many times I've "broken up" with my guy Cancer best friend. Gone without speaking for months and we'll still speak as if the fight never happened. We both had tempers when we were young, and we were both dramatic lmao.

I think not calling you as it happened is rude too, that's the kind of behavior I have to make myself ignore with my Scorpio best friend 'cause she doesn't do it intentionally. She's just not an instigator (I could go on about that but it's beside the point.), so I have to ask point blank, and like it's no big deal, "Hey, so do you not want to go here, see them, do something?" and gauge her reaction. Try that with your Cancer. He might not say "No" outright, but he'll do lots of stalling tactics like "Uhm", "Well...", "I don't know because..." I find the first word of a person's answer pretty much gives them away.

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lol I feel like dumping him in other words forgetting he exists. I'm in one of those dark moods.

posted November 03, 2011 05:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
How do i find my North/South node placements?
I know I have Node in Sagittarius in house 10 Only placement I have in house 7 is Chiron

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That means you have North node in Sag in the 10th and south node would be the opposite, Gemini in the 4th.

North node is what you are hear to work on.

North Node in Sagittarius
Yours is the path of cultivating faith, pursuing spiritual understanding and trusting your intuition. You have a direct line to Spirit - learn to trust that. When you put logical analysis to work, you get trapped in indecisiveness. If you ignore your intuition and act on logic, you lose. Seek adventure, liberation, and Higher Understanding. Cultivate directness in your communication with others.

North Node in the 10th House
Yours is the path of cultivating a meaningful career and to direct your energies toward society. Do you feel a sense of purpose and destiny? This is because you are meant to cultivate your professional ambitions. You are forging a path toward a broader base of influence. Become an authority in your chosen field. Stand strong in your personal integrity.

Based on this I would say that you have a vocation for teaching...maybe you will get a PHD in philosophy or theology and become a professor someday and end up getting recognition for it and reach the top of your field.

For sure you will make a career out of higher learning in some way if you follow your intuition/life path.

(I took a class as undergrad on survey of world religions you could be professor of such class or of philosophy class with a north node in sag in the 10th is my take).

posted November 03, 2011 06:13 AM            

Read more: http://astrofix.net/2010/03/11/chiron-by-house/#ixzz1cdTImOeL

posted November 03, 2011 06:52 AM            

but if it's on/off and a reluctant of a thing, all signs go up to protect and nurture the self and not really the other..

u could be upset, it's normal and a lot of girls and partners get upset when they've gone ahead to do something nice and then something like that happens but it think it's much more meaningful for you because you tried something that you normally wouldn't do.

it may feel like he put his friend over you but to him, it's totally reasonable as just the other day, you laughed in his face in an intimate setting because u didn't wanna cuddle; you're throwing him mixed signals.. i think u should talk about it.

he's probably not doing anything to get back at you, i don't know what he has in scorpio of if he is spiteful but the friend thing might just be true..

something i feel compelled to mention though, is that you should talk about what's important to you and what you feel and be open to listening to his point of view in regards as to what he feels and where he stands, too..

don't do it expecting a reward or expecting to be laid.. do it if you're interested in perhaps learning to develop intimacy and broaden your scope of sensuality/emotion..

that's something u can carry with you regardless of whether you're with him or not way into the future.

i find some people do gift giving with the same skeptical apprehension. they give expecting to be praised for their gift even when the gift was never asked for or if whether or not the other person liked it.

i'm not saying the gift thing is your case but if you do favors for someone and expect to do the favor your way, are you doing the favor for the other person, or do u do it for yourself so that you'd be thanked and praised rather than to be of help?

it's not a lack of respect.. he will notice that you made the effort to show him u cared and that won't go unnoticed even if it goes unmentioned.. watch his behaviour towards you and you'll see genuine affection.

where is your chiron, just out of curiosity? and what do you have in leo or capricorn? i think i can only say that capricorn finds such things to be a personal insult and hide behind some saturn like bravado where they command respect out of insecurity or fear of feeling vulnerable... most things in leo i find take a similar approach but hide somewhere and lick their fur til they're prim and proper and ready to ace the world again with their dignity..

but leo doesn't demand it, it earns it; commands it without having to say anything and really sticks it's nose up at those who don't respect the regal but capricorn is the one that makes the fuss about it and gets all personally insulted and then seeks to get back at the other or something of that nature.

i remember in the sex and the city movie miranda was all in a fuss when her bf cheated on her after they tried having sex one day and he wanted to make it last long and she just asked him to get it over with so that she could work in the morning after it had been MONTHS since they had sex..

he cheated on her and told her about it but what she was more upset about, was that she changed who she was for him.. it felt like she sold herself out on his behalf.

the lesson in that story or what i'm trying to say is, to not do it FOR them... if you're not comfortable spending money on him, like u said, it says a LOT about how u feel about that guy and where u stand.. when you like the person and genuinely feel ok in doing something like buying them a gift without expecting something in return, i think you can know that you care..

posted November 03, 2011 07:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
I think she cooked for him to show him she cares not for praise. I think she was actually been selfless bc she is trying to push herself forward and grow through one on one relationships. her chiron in the seventh is calling to her and she is responding or trying to respond.

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oh... 7th chiron.. hmmm.....

well, what i can say is that with that placement, it's best that she get in touch with whatever that chiron represents and where that wound is because there, the chiron can hurt the other person just the same as they've been hurt before themselves and relationships can turn very ugly and there can be lots of resentment sometimes between them and partners because of similar situations of what's happening now...

she extended herself; partner's sometimes extend themselves as well only to meet with the chiron that the person won't fess up to and they are in turn hurt.. the relationship can turn into a therapy session itself and the partner can even listen and intently try to care but the pain won't go away for the chiron and i think that eventually even one of them ends up noticing that the void doesn't go away with either one of them meeting the other halfway and usually one walks away.

if it's the chiron, it'll take some willingness to accept responsibility and notice that they're doing something similar to what was done to them.

and if it's the other person, the chiron is then left hurt but responds to eons of pain rather than just the parting of the relationship and the entire thing takes on a whooooooooole different meaning because it was much bigger than that, itself.. it represented something entirely whole for the chiron person..

posted November 03, 2011 07:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
oh... 7th chiron.. hmmm.....

well, what i can say is that with that placement, it's best that she get in touch with whatever that chiron represents and where that wound is because there, the chiron can hurt the other person just the same as they've been hurt before themselves and relationships can turn very ugly and there can be lots of resentment sometimes between them and partners because of similar situations of what's happening now...

she extended herself; partner's sometimes extend themselves as well only to meet with the chiron that the person won't fess up to and they are in turn hurt.. the relationship can turn into a therapy session itself and the partner can even listen and intently try to care but the pain won't go away for the chiron and i think that eventually even one of them ends up noticing that the void doesn't go away with either one of them meeting the other halfway and usually one walks away.

if it's the chiron, it'll take some willingness to accept responsibility and notice that they're doing something similar to what was done to them.

and if it's the other person, the chiron is then left hurt but responds to eons of pain rather than just the parting of the relationship and the entire thing takes on a whooooooooole different meaning because it was much bigger than that, itself.. it represented something entirely whole for the chiron person..

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posted November 03, 2011 07:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

*as a side note, Tuxedo Mask, the parts that I quoted from you have really struck a chord with me in some things that I'm dealing with now, and I just wanted to thank you; I knew that the intention was to reply to the original poster, but I felt compelled to thank you for really helping me out and giving me some insight, albeit without knowing or intending to. So, thank you: you've really helped me out a lot and have made a lot of things more clear to me. :-)

**I don't mean to distract from the original post or anything or get off topic; just wanted to say thank you because I'm grateful.

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posted November 03, 2011 07:38 AM            

why is the chiron person unconsciously driven to hurt new partner like they were in the past?

Damn, so chiron in the 7th would be masochistic a bit without knowing...?

I have chiron in the 7th in the whole sign system and NN in the 7th in natal with chiron in 6th in natal. I am asking to better understand my own behavior, your take on chiron in the 7th is new to me.

posted November 03, 2011 07:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
This sounds like a real good explanation of chiron in the 7th and I thank you for bringing more understanding on this but I want to make sure I am understanding clearly: Is part of what you are saying that chiron person got hurt by significant other at some point and then chiron gets involved with someone new and hurts the new person in similar way that chiron person originally got hurt as??? oh pls elaborate as I am very interested in your take on it. Thanks!

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yeah, that's exactly it. what the chiron person has been scared of feeling in a close relationship, is what the other person then feels after the relationship.. most of the time, they get involved with someone they share lots of their problems with.. it's not really at the beginning and there can be lots of testing the waters first but then eventually, it does turn into one of those things where they're aware of each other's soft spots probably more than most couples and can really get close to one another.

the other person becomes their shoulder, or the other person has a story that touches a soft spot in them; it's really the wound, though.. the part of it that sucks, is that sometimes chiron may find those relationships more comforting because the other person is already in a sense, 'wounded' so they feel they have someone to share pain with. it's cute at first, but then it can turn into something similar to that movie 'misery' http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100157/ , that probably still runs on Lifetime.

i think it's worth the chiron person to definitely get involved in some sort of therapy so that the chiron has a way of working it's way out before it takes a toll on what could be very rewarding relationships.. because if not, then the chiron can reach a point in the relationship where they don't feel much else for the relationship and then reacts in what they've been scared of feeling all along passing the wound over to the other person. i think i've read it several times online "hurt people, hurt people".

as in the cases with people that have histories of abusive relationships.. the abused, at some point or another, becomes the abuser. a book that i'm sure most everyone has read 'a child called it'; kinda similar.. the boy was treated terribly by his mother and he decided to write the story and get it out so as to not treat his children the same way.