|
Author
|
Topic: I figured out why there's such a huge lack of trust in Plutonian relationships!
|
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 05:12 PM
  
It's because you bond so intensely right away with that person that you hold them to such high standards because you figure they should treat you extremely special since you are both so special to each other. They can never look the least bit disinterested in conversations, if they're too quiet that's already cause for insecurity, if they don't respond to texts right away they obviously hate you. Yet somebody else does this and it's completely forgivable because your relationship is more casual. So, for example, you don't expect them to have their phone in their hand frantically waiting for you to text back because if you dont make sure to reply quickly to them they might think you hate them and stop talking to you. You expect them to treat you extra special because of the bond you share, but few people can live up to such high standards. Plus, when feelings run so high it usually makes people react almost apathetically, nonchalantly, so that they don't show how eager they really are on the inside without feeling awkward. So that makes things even more complicated. You are both afraid of rejection so you are both bound to act almost like you couldn't care less at times, when in fact it's the opposite. And an attempt on the other person to become closer makes you reject them almost automatically out of your fear of rejection. IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 892
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
|
posted November 10, 2011 05:57 PM
Not really lol. I can be really bonded with sb and not cling. I'm pretty good with giving space and trust. It's all about insecurities in a person more like.IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 1160
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 07:42 PM
I relate a bit with what RunAroundScreaming has to say, especially since with this one guy I knew... his Pluto trined my Mars, but my Sun opposed his Pluto.I thought about him constantly...we where both a tad reserved with each other. Plus we weren't even dating. And new each other less than a month. But he would complain that I didn't text enough. I never freaked out about it, cause I'm mature now. lol
Most of the time we would text for four hours straight. And he said he always texted me first... that's BS btw!...when I found out he said that I pretty much dropped him...and realized...I need to find someone else to like. (but then I realize I should just go back to liking my self. lol) So I'm wondering what's with these insecurities of his?...and what's with the BSing...I am either not worth the effort, or he's scared or both. I know I deserve better than him but damn...I just want it. lol
IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 547
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
|
posted November 10, 2011 09:30 PM
I think ur really onto something here runsaroundscreaming...IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 339
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted November 10, 2011 09:35 PM
Insightful. But what an unhealthy way to go about living.. Its all assumptions. I think Pluto is way too intense centering around relationships. The forming of unrealistic expectations towards others builds as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Doesn't it?The lack of trust is not the recipients issue, its yours. Am i wrong here? I do think what you wrote is very interesting but it applies to anyone I think.. I do agree, I am dating someone with that plutonian aspect. He behaves like you describe, especially with the afraid of rejection acting like you are disinterested, mainly as a ploy to have the other person chase after you, to tame your own insecurities about the relationship that you are indeed worthy of whatever it is you think you aren't. IP: Logged |
Delilah
Knowflake Posts: 270
From: U.K.
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 09:43 PM
I see what you're saying. It's like the two need constant proof of the other's love and affection. It's kind of like a juvenile love once you think about the story of Pluto/Hades and Persephone (?). He stole her from the land of the living to have completely to himself where no one/thing could threaten his importance to her. In Plutonian relationships, you want nothing less than obsessive devotion to each other. Love is more than just a four letter word. It's passion living and breathing beyond anyone's concept- more than unique. Too bad that with so much focus on each other you can kill what you have over small things. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 11:04 PM
Stawr, why do you think you deserve better than him, just cuz he's insecure? I don't understand, what did he do?IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 3613
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 11:21 PM
All of my relationships are pluto type.. Only when the going gets tough Uranus steps in and ends it suddenly. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 11:35 PM
Lioness, me too  . Except the uranus thing. Lack of trust ends it suddenly in my case. But with people I dont care about nearly as much I'm able to have a perfectly stable relationship/friendship. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 3613
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 11:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Lioness, me too . Except the uranus thing. Lack of trust ends it suddenly in my case. But with people I dont care about nearly as much I'm able to have a perfectly stable relationship/friendship.
Well I have both Pluto and Uranus in H7.. So both always play apart...
Or it gets ended over some weird freak thing, like it did with my husband...
I swear.. Uranus just wont let me have a stable relationship...
But whats worse!!!!
I dont want a "stable" relationship..
But I need it!!!
Ill never be happy 
I like being miserable.
IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 11:49 PM
Me too. Misery loves company... IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 3613
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 10, 2011 11:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Me too. Misery loves company...
Come over and bring ice cream, we can eat and watch sad movies and cry at the same time... LOL
Me sad
The outside world sux IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 12:25 AM
LOL...ooooh that sounds great...misery loves company but it loves ice cream even more 
muhuha
lolTear lol. Was the husband thing recent? *sniff* IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 3613
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 12:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
LOL...ooooh that sounds great...misery loves company but it loves ice cream even more
muhuha
lolTear
lol.
Was the husband thing recent? *sniff*
Nooo... That was 3 years ago..
IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 12:34 AM
Oooo ok...We can still eat ice cream and be miserable though Lifetime movies! Yusss! Lol IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 3613
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 12:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Oooo ok...We can still eat ice cream and be miserable though Lifetime movies! Yusss! Lol
YES.................... True Stories!!!!!!!!
IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 01:41 AM
Lol, no.. Lifetime movies aren't based on real eventsIP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 672
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted November 11, 2011 02:16 AM
I think you are on to something except that when I come accross a plutonic relationship I welcome it bc I am not afraid of rejection and I Like intensity but I completely agree that this creates a special kind of bond resulting in the relationship been more sensitive and vulnerable bc you hold higher standards for the relationship and other and the other person does as well in his or her own.Expectations are higher so relationship is more vulnerable. Great analysis from your part and thanks for sharing!!!! IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 672
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted November 11, 2011 02:21 AM
Its like a blessing and a curse. Bond is bound to be stronger than other bonds but is also more vulnerable and therefore more chances that ego will get in the way and that relationship will end up breaking unless there are some saturn aspects also involved in the synastry/composite chart to bring soberness and stability.IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 02:27 AM
Wow, I love your input, too. Really insightful! Thank you!!!!It's cool that we're on the same page, hehe. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 02:29 AM
By the way, Lioness, I was kidding about that. I know that True Stories is a movie lolIP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 1570
From: Saturn-free H12 ;)
Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 09:46 AM
My Cappy Moon likes plutonic bonds. After every bitter,obsessive,insane episode,there is a soul-consuming,mind blowing,bone shattering one. IP: Logged |
Frozen Queen
Moderator Posts: 383
From: 11th Dimension
Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 05:07 PM
The above interpretation would "fit" depending on the chart of the person. For someone with a heavy Plutonian theme in the natal, if they have made peace with their strength and intensity and learnt to shine steadily like a candle instead of fizzling out like a cracker, it will be easy. For someone with a debilitated Pluto, next to no Pluto/Scorpio, or some Scorpio Grey Lizards, the intensity will bring out the natal themes of insecurity vs comfort, love vs obsession and the devaluation of control within a relationship unless they accept their own chart first.Because that's just the way the Universe rolls. ------------------
Ask Me anything. Anything. I will contrive to bring you the answer. The whole universe will I use to do this. So be on the lookout. This book is far from My only tool. You may ask a question, then put this book down. But watch. Listen. The words to the next song you hear. The information in the next article you read. The story line of the next movie you watch. The chance utterance of the next person you meet. Or the whisper of the next river, the next ocean, the next breeze that caresses your ear—all these devices are Mine; all these avenues are open to Me. I will speak to you if you will listen. I will come to you if you will invite Me. I will show you then that I have always been there. All ways.
♥ IP: Logged |
enchantress299
Knowflake Posts: 312
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted November 11, 2011 07:36 PM
quote:
For someone with a debilitated Pluto, next to no Pluto/Scorpio, or some Scorpio Grey Lizards, the intensity will bring out the natal themes of insecurity vs comfort, love vs obsession and the devaluation of control within a relationship unless they accept their own chart first.Because that's just the way the Universe rolls.
Hahaha... So true. IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 1160
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted November 11, 2011 08:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Stawr, why do you think you deserve better than him, just cuz he's insecure? I don't understand, what did he do?
I know the economy is kinda sh!t right now, but he does that under the table stuff, high school drop out, and he snorts percasets up his nose. For being 31 he really doesn't have his sh!t together. You know the kind of guys I swore off. (I have issues lol) And he stood me up for a date, didn't even bother to tell me just stopped talking to me(for almost two days), and ignored my texts...(and I don't even blow up his phone or flip if it takes him a while to text back...I really only send him one text and if he doesn't reply right away I'm not going to blow up his phone. But since he had plans with me...I finally text him "let me know by 5 if your still up for tonight" Oh then he decided to text me back. "I have a lot going on, I wont be able to make it" Um unless your dieing or something, that is completely disrespectful to do to someone. I don't take disrespect very well...
I've been in his shoes, but I at least tell the person I can't make it before they have to track me down. I told my friend who wanted to set me up with him...that I am p!ssed/offended/insulted and I am done. Well he must of got wind of that cause 5 days later he texted me back saying sorry and he had a lot of stress with his job. (so what, so do other people and they still show courtesy to people!) I gave him another chance, we would text everyday. But I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, and I couldn't stand talking to him on the weekend...cause I wanted to see him...but I backed off a bit since he obviously doesn't have his sh!t together. So when it came to the weekend we kept it short. I had awesome plans with out him(and yeah I had fun with out him)...but I want him to make up date night to me...but it's.just.not.gonna.happen! Not to mention he had the nerve to say he liked me a lot. (red flag...we've only known each other a few weeks or less) Usually when a guy says that right away they usually tend to not be able to live up to that, or actually show it.) But I don't get the whole four hours isn't enough of texting him...yeah! I'm sure he would find it soooo cute if I texted him almost 24/7. Married people don't even do that. And I have no idea why he is telling people he always texts me first. I do text him first almost half the time. Do I not flatter his texting ego?...HOW OLD ARE YOU!?!!!
Why are we being petty over something so stupid. That for me was the last straw, I just see pointlessness.
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
