Author
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Topic: Controlling partners
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malicefey Knowflake Posts: 201 From: NY Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 17, 2011 08:48 PM
Our very first confrontation of a problem, I was so upset, and so was he. I ignored him for a week straight. I was so depressed, I thought it was the end for good...and this was only during the first 2 months of the relationship. I almost felt like a part of me died. I went to work (where I saw him sometimes) and put on a straight face. I couldn't look into his eyes, I couldn't even LOOK at him when we passed by in the hallway.Finally, when I picked up the phone, he sounded like he was crying (although he'd NEVER admit in a million years) and said that he has lost all his motivation. He couldn't work..and he said, out of all things he could control, he couldn't control THIS feeling. I guess that sums up all those aspects? After that, we patched things up, agreed mutually on some things and we're back on track. He's been more clingy (although he DOES NOT want to be) asking me to go places with him. I don't always do though, he's a bit more "demanding" now. He watches me with a close eye, especially at work. Asks me who I talked to, who I'm texting, what I did, what I ate for lunch, goes through my emails, etc. He likes to act he's manly and doesn't care. That's his motto. IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 08:48 PM
quote: Originally posted by malicefey: Yes. We connected because of our afflictions and past (family issues). He has bad dreams constantly, kicks, talks in his sleep (mumbling) and sometimes sweats. I'd get up, aired him out, wiped off his sweat and held him on those nights.
You know what, my ex-boyfriend we were talking about (not sure if it's here or another thread of mine, that's how bad my memory is...) also had a sweating problem, and had insomnia and probably bad dreams. I think he was an empath and that's why he got drunk every night before he went to bed rather than him just being an alcoholic. I wonder if it has to do with Pluto, or Mars? IP: Logged |
malicefey Knowflake Posts: 201 From: NY Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 17, 2011 08:51 PM
quote: Originally posted by hannarama: You know what, my ex-boyfriend we were talking about (not sure if it's here or another thread of mine, that's how bad my memory is...) also had a sweating problem, and had insomnia and probably bad dreams. I think he was an empath and that's why he got drunk every night before he went to bed rather than him just being an alcoholic. I wonder if it has to do with Pluto, or Mars?
Well he's not a smoker or a drinker. He doesn't like any of that. He doesn't ALWAYS have the bad dreams, but I would say the talking/mumbling in dreams comes once or twice a week. The sweating...prob once a month, the kicking, maybe once every 2 weeks. Perhaps your ex had a BIGGER LARGER problem. ------------------ Sun Libra Moon Libra Mars Libra Mercury Scorpio Venus Scorpio Asc Scorpio IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 08:59 PM
quote: Originally posted by malicefey: Well he's not a smoker or a drinker. He doesn't like any of that. He doesn't ALWAYS have the bad dreams, but I would say the talking/mumbling in dreams comes once or twice a week. The sweating...prob once a month, the kicking, maybe once every 2 weeks.Perhaps your ex had a BIGGER LARGER problem.
I wasn't trying to call your boyfriend an alcoholic... I really was just sticking to astrology and wondering about sweating. No need for CAPS. IP: Logged |
malicefey Knowflake Posts: 201 From: NY Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 17, 2011 09:00 PM
Oh sorry, I didn't mean CAPS as in trying to offend. And I wasn't offended, please take me lightly I get a little crazy sometimes, typing.IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 09:04 PM
quote: Originally posted by Lonake: I just looked at what could be construed as controlling, that's all. Like I said the Saturn/Pluto stuff that you each had in your natals really spoke to each other, created a lot of attraction. You know what, natally your Sun/Venus are under tension, but in that synastry they are only involved in a Grand Trine, which could be a factor for easing what you are usually under. Except that other factors ended up worked against it."cause the relationship was SO MUCH about him" ---He also has a ton of Fire.
I didn't know we had all that, before I delved this much into astrology I thought his Cap rising somehow aspected my Taurus moon since they were both Earth signs. My Gemini ASC and his Sag moon, us both being fire signs ... I thought that did it, and as the r'ship went on I thought I was going to go certifiably insane lol. Every month it was something. Very torrid. Very intense. Is there a way to tell who loved who more? He'd always tell me he loved me but I never felt it. It was like we were two identical twins who couldn't connect so instead we just stayed parallel to each other. LOL yes he does, but I heard (hear a lotta things) someone with an overload of an element in their chart actually behaves the opposite of what you expect. Well, I guess not considering what I just said about him - right? IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 09:05 PM
quote: Originally posted by malicefey: Oh sorry, I didn't mean CAPS as in trying to offend. And I wasn't offended, please take me lightly I get a little crazy sometimes, typing.
:laugh: if that was your version of crazy, then I need to be committed Okay, alls well. I'm gonna go have a looksie at your synastry if you have it up in that other thread. IP: Logged |
Lonake Moderator Posts: 5933 From: U.S. Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 17, 2011 09:53 PM
quote: Originally posted by hannarama: Is there a way to tell who loved who more? He'd always tell me he loved me but I never felt it. It was like we were two identical twins who couldn't connect so instead we just stayed parallel to each other.
You can look at what aspects the natals make to the composite. Composite Venus falls in their 7th, that is a factor for it. There are different opinions on this. One lady on here swears that if there is a Sun/Venus/Mercury stellium in the composite then that is 'the-best-love-of-your-life-no-one-will-ever-compare-so-stop-looking.' So, in the end, go with that you like (!)
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hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 09:59 PM
quote: Originally posted by Lonake: [QUOTE]Originally posted by hannarama: [b]Is there a way to tell who loved who more? He'd always tell me he loved me but I never felt it. It was like we were two identical twins who couldn't connect so instead we just stayed parallel to each other.
You can look at what aspects the natals make to the composite. Composite Venus falls in their 7th, that is a factor for it. There are different opinions on this. One lady on here swears that if there is a Sun/Venus/Mercury stellium in the composite then that is 'the-best-love-of-your-life-no-one-will-ever-compare-so-stop-looking.' So, in the end, go with that you like (!)[/B][/QUOTE]I did a Composite (Midpoint method) chart on astro.com that included the natals as well, our composite showed Venus in the 3rd, so we loved talking to each other and perhaps traveling with each other or talking about pop culture, art, and love itself but we didn't love each other? IP: Logged |
malicefey Knowflake Posts: 201 From: NY Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 17, 2011 10:02 PM
quote: Originally posted by hannarama: I did a Composite (Midpoint method) chart on astro.com that included the natals as well, our composite showed Venus in the 3rd, so we loved talking to each other and perhaps traveling with each other or talking about pop culture, art, and love itself but we didn't love each other?
Hm..I've never experienced composite Venus in 3rd. I guess it's also your own preference. Some people love to travel and explore, and if they can do it with their loved one, then all the better! Well atleast that's my view on it. I don't think we should see it as "not-love". Well atleast that's my n00b opinion of it  ------------------ Sun Libra Moon Libra Mars Libra Mercury Scorpio Venus Scorpio Asc Scorpio IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 10:05 PM
quote: Originally posted by malicefey: Hm..I've never experienced composite Venus in 3rd. I guess it's also your own preference. Some people love to travel and explore, and if they can do it with their loved one, then all the better! Well atleast that's my view on it. I don't think we should see it as "not-love". Well atleast that's my n00b opinion of it 
This is what trips me up about astrology because I haven't been able to understand so far what makes one chart method better than another. Yes, it's all in what you like I know but I don't even know why I should like what I like! What are different methods used for if they're about the same topic? For example, relationships. I went back and did it using Davison's Relationship Chart and that puts Venus in Gemini in the 9th and Moon in Aquarius in the 5th. Our composite chart is VERY AIRY.
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Lonake Moderator Posts: 5933 From: U.S. Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 17, 2011 10:09 PM
quote: Originally posted by hannarama: I did a Composite (Midpoint method) chart on astro.com that included the natals as well, our composite showed Venus in the 3rd, so we loved talking to each other and perhaps traveling with each other or talking about pop culture, art, and love itself but we didn't love each other?
Sorry, I meant that composite Venus falling in the 7th in one of the partner's natals is one factor for the relationship having a big impact on that person. It's basically looking at the synastry of your natal, or your partner's, against the composite.IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 10:15 PM
quote: Originally posted by Lonake: [QUOTE]Originally posted by hannarama: [b] I did a Composite (Midpoint method) chart on astro.com that included the natals as well, our composite showed Venus in the 3rd, so we loved talking to each other and perhaps traveling with each other or talking about pop culture, art, and love itself but we didn't love each other?
Sorry, I meant that composite Venus falling in the 7th in one of the partner's natals is one factor for the relationship having a big impact on that person. It's basically looking at the synastry of your natal, or your partner's, against the composite.[/B][/QUOTE]Okay, so the composite Venus is in Gemini... so in order for either of our Venus' to fall in the 7th house, that 7th house would have to be ruled by Gemini, right? Or would it have to do with Mercury? So confused. I apologize. I bet you get tired of talking to novices all the time. IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 10:17 PM
Actually looking at his natal right now, I'm thinking it'd fall in his 5th, and my 12th or 1st... so no 7th.IP: Logged |
Lonake Moderator Posts: 5933 From: U.S. Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 17, 2011 10:19 PM
No, don't expect to get the hang of it all right away. It took me months to fig out how to read natals against composites. I had a mental block around it, or something. And like I said, a lot don't even believe you can see relationship impact that way. . . . For easiest impact look at the basics (if you're confused), angular conjunctions, conj to nodes, conj to personal planets, conj to midpoints, esp Sun/Moon. All those have strong impact. Composite Sun falls on your MC, you feel more clear about where you're headed as a result of knowing this person. Composite Uranus squares your Moon, when natally your chart is all about security and stability, that will not sit well. Composite Venus conj your Pluto, may be a transformative relationship. Composite Mercury conj your Sun, maybe you felt more able to express who you are. Composite Venus conj your Sun, self esteem is heightened just by associating with this person, maybe you think this person makes you 'look good' to the world.IP: Logged |
hannarama Knowflake Posts: 399 From: united states Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 17, 2011 11:11 PM
quote: Originally posted by Lonake: No, don't expect to get the hang of it all right away. It took me months to fig out how to read natals against composites. I had a mental block around it, or something. And like I said, a lot don't even believe you can see relationship impact that way. . . . For easiest impact look at the basics (if you're confused), angular conjunctions, conj to nodes, conj to personal planets, conj to midpoints, esp Sun/Moon. All those have strong impact. Composite Sun falls on your MC, you feel more clear about where you're headed as a result of knowing this person. Composite Uranus squares your Moon, when natally your chart is all about security and stability, that will not sit well. Composite Venus conj your Pluto, may be a transformative relationship. Composite Mercury conj your Sun, maybe you felt more able to express who you are. Composite Venus conj your Sun, self esteem is heightened just by associating with this person, maybe you think this person makes you 'look good' to the world.
that part is true. Even though it wasn't appreciated, strangely enough I felt more vivacious, lively, confident, witty, beautiful in his presence. I noticed I love performing for him (not sexually but in general). That's the same vibe I get with this Capricorn/Scorpio guy I'm interested in now.
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