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Author
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Topic: Astrologically what makes a woman like to be with abusive men
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lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 06:34 PM
  
Anything here? Any placements or aspects i know its a major psychological issue but im just curious here if there is a pattern in regards to placements in a natal chart that would indicate a woman who seems to always date or get involved with men who abuse her physically or emotionally or psychologically?IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 06:38 PM
I've read that it's aspects to the asteroid Dejanira (asteroid #157). So girls should stay away from guys whose planets make stressful aspects to her Dejanira, especially if it's his Nessus. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 06:40 PM
What? Those Asteroids exist? Can you explain more about that... like why those two asteroids specifically?IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 06:44 PM
Whats the code for Nessus?IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 06:52 PM
If you go to the asteroid forum here, there are a bunch of threads about those two asteroids.In the myth, Dejanira was married to Heracles, who was a cheater btw. One day Nessus the centaur was supposed to escort Dejanira somewhere but he attempted to kidnap her. Heracles shot Nessus with a poisoned arrow. As Nessus was dying, he handed Dejanira a mixture of olive oil and his poisoned blood and his semen and told her that if she gives it to Heracles, he'll stop cheating. So she put it on a shirt that Heracles wore and he subsequently died. Dejanira killed herself. I've noticed one case where a girl was in this situation (except no one died physically....emotionally though they all did)with two guys (buddies). Her Dejanira is trine both of their Nessus's. One of these guys has Sun and Mercury conjunct Nessus in Cancer. Maybe it's just coincidence.
quote:
Whats the code for Nessus?
7066IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 07:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capriquarius:
If you go to the asteroid forum here, there are a bunch of threads about those two asteroids.In the myth, Dejanira was married to Heracles, who was a cheater btw. One day Nessus the centaur was supposed to escort Dejanira somewhere but he attempted to kidnap her. Heracles shot Nessus with a poisoned arrow. As Nessus was dying, he handed Dejanira a mixture of olive oil and his poisoned blood and his semen and told her that if she gives it to Heracles, he'll stop cheating. So she put it on a shirt that Heracles wore and he subsequently died. Dejanira killed herself. I've noticed one case where a girl was in this situation (except no one died physically....emotionally though they all did)with two guys (buddies). Her Dejanira is trine both of their Nessus's. One of these guys has Sun and Mercury conjunct Nessus in Cancer. Maybe it's just coincidence.
[QUOTE]Whats the code for Nessus?
7066[/QUOTE]What would you think of this??  And your story is this a real story?
So Dej is the asteroid of what.. a cheater? or what lol
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Nicole401
Knowflake Posts: 251
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 07:05 PM
Capriquarius, what if you have it natally?IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 07:11 PM
Your Dejanira has a trine to his Venus and Jupiter which are benefics so maybe the abuse won't be as painful or recognizable right away but his Sun and Nessus and Uranus are making stressful aspects to your Dejanira. So he will be able to take advantage of you emotionally if you're not careful. Don't give him the upper hand and don't be too nice to him too soon.
quote:
So Dej is the asteroid of what.. a cheater? or what lol
Dejanira is a girl who gets cheated on by her husband and in the end she kills herself quote:
Capriquarius, what if you have it natally?
Do you mean you have a natal aspect to it? The meaning would differ according to which planet is involved in the aspect. I have it conjunct my Vertex so I attract that situation into my life repeatedly and have done stupid things from blindly trusting someone I was committed to. Opposite my North Node, so I'm meant to find ways to escape from that situation.
quote:
And your story is this a real story?
The situation I described with that girl whose Dejanira trined those two guys' Nessus's? Yeah, that's how I perceived the situation. They were totally taking advantage of her but she wanted so badly for things to work out that she didn't seem to notice it.I'm assuming you weren't asking if the myth with the centaur is true.  IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 607
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 29, 2011 07:22 PM
I'm curious about this as well as I attract abusive men, but I don't stay with them tho. I would never put up with that. I'm wondering what makes some women attract them in the first place, cause its not like men like this advertize ladies. The man always "seems" good at first, its part of their whole game. IP: Logged |
Nicole401
Knowflake Posts: 251
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 07:22 PM
I mean, a stressful aspect (opposition in my case) between Dejanira and Nessus.EDIT: It's a Dejanira/Nessus opposition, conjunct the Venus/Pluto opposition, conjunct the ASC/ DESC axis. IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 07:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by scrappydog:
I'm curious about this as well as I attract abusive men, but I don't stay with them tho. I would never put up with that. I'm wondering what makes some women attract them in the first place, cause its not like men like this advertize ladies. The man always "seems" good at first, its part of their whole game.
I think that aspects to the woman's Mars is what bring these men into her life, since women tend to project their animus (Mars).[EDIT: Oops I realized that I phrased that poorly...please excuse my Mercury in Sag which is presently conjunct retrograding Mercury for leaping over such insignificant details...I meant that I think aspects to a woman's Mars could cause that/END EDIT] I have a natal Mars-Pluto square and have been physically abused. The guy who hit me (several times...I was stupid enough to not leave him after the first time) never did that to any of his prior girlfriends. (His other girlfriends were as blunt and outspoken as I am.) He had aspects to my Mars-Pluto square, from both his personal planets and his own Pluto, since we were born the same year. quote:
I mean, a stressful aspect (opposition in my case) between Dejanira and Nessus.
My interpretation is that you would accept giving away some of your power as long as the other person gives you some of their power in another area. Example: Let's say your Nessus is in Capricorn and Dejanira in Cancer. You'd be willing to weather some emotional abuse in order to have authority over the other person. Something to that tune. At least they balance each other. IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 607
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 29, 2011 07:26 PM
I think I was talking about this with IQ on here one time and he was telling me its my natal nessus square my sun-pluto conj. I attract some really dangerous men. I could never be with a man who abused women becuse I could never respect him tho, to me its just despicable and cowardly, men are supposed to protect women not abuse and murder them.IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 07:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by scrappydog:
I'm curious about this as well as I attract abusive men, but I don't stay with them tho. I would never put up with that. I'm wondering what makes some women attract them in the first place, cause its not like men like this advertize ladies. The man always "seems" good at first, its part of their whole game.
I think it mostly has to do with our natural condition to change a guy, also when we invest into someone emotionally most of the time its hard to let go.. ive been with abusive guys, at least two, but i noticed the pattern and got out of it.. It was hard to leave cause i invested into them and the relationship and I was comfortable if that makes sense. they are very charming and polite. IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 607
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 29, 2011 07:34 PM
Capri, yes I agree a woman's mars definately has something to do with it, but like a man's moon, a woman's sun says a lot about the men she attracts/likes. My mars is conj uranus in sag in the 7th, I've read that a 7th house mars can attract abusive partners all by itself in both sexes. My exact sun pluto conjunction tho brings in these REALLY intense, controling scorpio/pluto type men. They start out as extremely attentive and dedicated, they want to be with me all the time, the slight jealousy at first is a little flattering. I know thats not good, but a lot of women can feel flattered by a man who is a bit posessive. Nothing worse than a man who acts like he doesnt care lol. But then when he believes he has me in any way the men always get very controling and jealous(several have tried to isolate me and take complete control through intimidation and emotional torture tactics), they are VERY manipulative and make accusations that arent true(usually that im cheating and I have never done this or ever given a man a reason to suspect)...then the abuse starts next and I have to get out all over again. I feel so scarred from all this now at 31 that I'm contemplating never having another relationship.IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 07:35 PM
@Cap thanks for the advice!How exactly were they taking advantage of her exactly? IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 07:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by scrappydog:
I think I was talking about this with IQ on here one time and he was telling me its my natal nessus square my sun-pluto conj. I attract some really dangerous men. I could never be with a man who abused women becuse I could never respect him tho, to me its just despicable and cowardly, men are supposed to protect women not abuse and murder them.
I find that whenever we don't own our own energies, the universe sends someone who will own it for us. There's this saying by Jung: "Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality."I'm not saying that it's your fault or my fault that we got beaten up, but it's a known fact that bullies gravitate towards those they perceive as weak because they like easy prey. When we don't embrace our Mars-Pluto square or Sun-Pluto-Nessus t-square (which sounds very intense), it will confront us in the form of a bully. Our entire horoscope wheel represents our power, doesn't it? I believe that we're all God and that He's in each one of us. If we don't understand and own our own energies, then since energy can't be created or destroyed, will find some other outlet. So I chose to own my Mars-Pluto square. If I force myself to go into an abyss unafraid, then I've already harnessed this energy for my own use and a bully wouldn't see me as an easy target. What I find to be the biggest challenge though is owning the entire horoscope, with all those conflicting placements! IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 607
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 29, 2011 07:42 PM
^ Cap, Yes "theres no victims, only volunteers."IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 07:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capriquarius:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by scrappydog:
[b]I think I was talking about this with IQ on here one time and he was telling me its my natal nessus square my sun-pluto conj. I attract some really dangerous men. I could never be with a man who abused women becuse I could never respect him tho, to me its just despicable and cowardly, men are supposed to protect women not abuse and murder them.
I find that whenever we don't own our own energies, the universe sends someone who will own it for us. There's this saying by Jung: "Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality."I'm not saying that it's your fault or my fault that we got beaten up, but it's a known fact that bullies gravitate towards those they perceive as weak because they like easy prey. When we don't embrace our Mars-Pluto square or Sun-Pluto-Nessus t-square (which sounds very intense), it will confront us in the form of a bully. Our entire horoscope wheel represents our power, doesn't it? I believe that we're all God and that He's in each one of us. If we don't understand and own our own energies, then since energy can't be created or destroyed, will find some other outlet. So I chose to own my Mars-Pluto square. If I force myself to go into an abyss unafraid, then I've already harnessed this energy for my own use and a bully wouldn't see me as an easy target. What I find to be the biggest challenge though is owning the entire horoscope, with all those conflicting placements! [/B][/QUOTE]
I completely agree with you..
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Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 07:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by scrappydog:
Capri, yes I agree a woman's mars definately has something to do with it, but like a man's moon, a woman's sun says a lot about the men she attracts/likes. My mars is conj uranus in sag in the 7th, I've read that a 7th house mars can attract abusive partners all by itself in both sexes. My exact sun pluto conjunction tho brings in these REALLY intense, controling scorpio/pluto type men. They start out as extremely attentive and dedicated, they want to be with me all the time, the slight jealousy at first is a little flattering. I know thats not good, but a lot of women can feel flattered by a man who is a bit posessive. Nothing worse than a man who acts like he doesnt care lol. But then when he believes he has me in any way the men always get very controling and jealous(several have tried to isolate me and take complete control through intimidation and emotional torture tactics), they are VERY manipulative and make accusations that arent true(usually that im cheating and I have never done this or ever given a man a reason to suspect)...then the abuse starts next and I have to get out all over again. I feel so scarred from all this now at 31 that I'm contemplating never having another relationship.
That's an interesting way that 7th House Mars can manifest. I've heard of it described as attracting or being attracted to "war-like spouse." But I can vouch for it because in one of my relationships I was that war-like partner. In my defense, he (subconsciously?) did things to spark my ire. He would find out what my pet peeves were and would find ways to trigger them. I'm in the same boat as you except that I'm a year or two older. I'm more comfortable on my own now and love doing whatever I want, whenever I want.
quote:
[@Cap thanks for the advice!
How exactly were they taking advantage of her exactly?
It was a love triangle. This girl has a lot of social connections and talent. The guys don't have as much going for them, and depended a lot on the girl. But she was in love with one of the guys (Sun conjunct Nessus guy) and was bending over backwards to please him. He knew that and took advantage of her nature. The other guy secretly liked the girl. Well, in short the situation didn't end happily because it was a love triangle involving friendship as well as career. She regrets the experience.IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 814
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 08:05 PM
I am not masochistic...compassionate and understanding and willing to work things out if I know person has a good heart and is more good to me than bad yes.My dejanira has no aspects at all and does not form any aspects to anyone I have dated. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 814
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 08:13 PM
However my nessus trines mars, sextiles jupiter, trines neptune and squares pluto.....so perhaps that stressful aspect to pluto means something! IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 814
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 08:18 PM
I have only attracted one guy with anger issues in my life and feel that he will overcome this and get better at coping with frustration.IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 08:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
However my nessus trines mars, sextiles jupiter, trines neptune and squares pluto.....so perhaps that stressful aspect to pluto means something!
About your Nessus sq Pluto...maybe that means you had lifelong practice at transforming any dormant abuser tendencies within you into something evolvedIP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 566
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 29, 2011 08:39 PM
@ CapYou mentioned sun conjunct pluto and basic Pluto energy of a man in a abusive depiction... What about if Pluto square sun? Can that come out to? Can the guy sometimes be prone to possessiveness thinking he owns the sun and no one else does? h IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 29, 2011 08:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
@ CapYou mentioned sun conjunct pluto and basic Pluto energy of a man in a abusive depiction... What about if Pluto square sun? Can that come out to? Can the guy sometimes be prone to possessiveness thinking he owns the sun and no one else does? h
Scrappydog was actually saying that it was iQ who said that. And I agree it will happen if the woman disowns her solar energy. Then she will probably attract a man whose planets link to her Sun-Pluto square. Or if he has Sun-Pluto square and her planets aspect that configuration then yeah he will tend to be like that.So short answer to your question: YES =) IP: Logged |
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