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Author
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Topic: This guy wants to get serious with me
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5371
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 23, 2011 10:07 PM
  
I met this guy aprox 8 months ago.. Ive never gone out with him, or had any intimacy with him what so ever.
We use to talk alot, and it was very intense.. We would talk and argue as if we have been together for years and years.. We kept making plans to go out, but then right before we would go out, we would get into an argument and cancel going out.. LOL... He started to get demanding with me, telling me I AM his GF... He never even asked, he just told me.. So I said nope.. No Im not... Bah blah... Well It got annoying after I while, and his controlling was not going to happen... I wasnt going to allow it..
So I stopped talking to the guy. I cut him off completely.. So today he texts me, (after all this time) and says he never forgot about me, and that he thinks of me, and wants to try to give us another try..
I told him, that he cant control my moves, and I wont put up with it.. That he cant pressure me to be his GF.. That things just have to go naturally if, its meant to be.. HE said Ok.. "I will try"...
I said ok.. we cant talk again... But he needs to be patient with me.. He says can I see you tonight? I said no (see vein Leo thread.. lol.. I have a fever blister and not letting any one see me)
He got upset saying see you always back out.. I said no.. I just need a few days to talk to you.. Go with the flow and see how it goes.. He said why waste time.. You know I want to be with you, and get started with this..
I sad see your pressuring me.. I cant make you that promise.. So IDK... Im talking to him.. but Im going slow.. I just dont know.. What do you guys think??? Run!!! try!!!!
 IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 23, 2011 10:50 PM
Run............Ted Bundy comes to mind! controlling, manipulative, insecure/low self worth.He is too pushy! Post his natal and have Lonake take a look at it and then make a decision after you hear her input is what I would do bc his behavior is presenting a red flag. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5371
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 23, 2011 10:58 PM
Im thinking he's like that because of moon/pluto in synastry... YIKES.. and his Saturn on my Stellium.. Maybe to scary for me... IDK... Here is his natals... but IDK his time.. So just look at aspects.  IP: Logged |
MessyLilLeo
Knowflake Posts: 190
From: the heart
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 23, 2011 11:10 PM
I agree, don't do it.
I'm currently in a poopy relationship and I don't have the balls to get out. It's not horrible, but there are definitely rage fits over nothing and thorough incompatibility. I often wish we had never gotten anything started, that I had heeded the red flags. I feel like I'm always waiting for him to want to break up with me, and deep down I know it will probably never happen. There are so many things about the true me that he does NOT appreciate, things that irritate and cause bottled rage. I feel a little trapped, but I know in the end it's my fault.
I know, it sounds like a total bunch of "domestic situation" stuff, and it really isn't; but I am DEFINITELY not fulfilled or happy. My little Leo heart wants to shine; alas, he's Cappy and Crappy - such a downer! Damaged goods, childhood issues that he doesn't know how to deal with. He uses tactics like manipulating with his emotional outbursts, and it took me a while to learn that. What's more is it sounds like that's what this guy is doing, but starting small. He probably isn't even be doing it counsciously.
It's not your job to "heal" it, or show him another way either. That's kind of how I got trapped. Five years now, and I've learned a lot about myself and others, but totally waiting for the right break. Not trying to steal the stage here, or tell you what to do, but my heart is racing for you a little bit as I type this. Maybe I'm just totally jaded though with my own situation.
Sometimes you think you're not letting people push you around, and really you were putty in their hands the whole time.
I hope it works out for you, whatever choice you make. My heart goes out to you...IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 5625
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted December 23, 2011 11:12 PM
for a second (after reading like 3 words, lol) i was beginning to think this was that scorpio guy, LOL------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5371
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 23, 2011 11:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
for a second (after reading like 3 words, lol) i was beginning to think this was that scorpio guy, LOL
Euhhh.. NOPE!!!!! Im never talking to that dude again! He tried for over an hour to get me to go to his house so we could talk this through.. but nahhh.. I have no interest in working it out...
He said the wrong thing to me... I lost any and ALL interest in him. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5371
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 23, 2011 11:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MessyLilLeo:
I agree, don't do it.
I'm currently in a poopy relationship and I don't have the balls to get out. It's not horrible, but there are definitely rage fits over nothing and thorough incompatibility. I often wish we had never gotten anything started, that I had heeded the red flags. I feel like I'm always waiting for him to want to break up with me, and deep down I know it will probably never happen. There are so many things about the true me that he does NOT appreciate, things that irritate and cause bottled rage. I feel a little trapped, but I know in the end it's my fault.
I know, it sounds like a total bunch of "domestic situation" stuff, and it really isn't; but I am DEFINITELY not fulfilled or happy. My little Leo heart wants to shine; alas, he's Cappy and Crappy - such a downer! Damaged goods, childhood issues that he doesn't know how to deal with. He uses tactics like manipulating with his emotional outbursts, and it took me a while to learn that. What's more is it sounds like that's what this guy is doing, but starting small. He probably isn't even be doing it counsciously.
It's not your job to "heal" it, or show him another way either. That's kind of how I got trapped. Five years now, and I've learned a lot about myself and others, but totally waiting for the right break. Not trying to steal the stage here, or tell you what to do, but my heart is racing for you a little bit as I type this. Maybe I'm just totally jaded though with my own situation.
Sometimes you think you're not letting people push you around, and really you were putty in their hands the whole time.
I hope it works out for you, whatever choice you make. My heart goes out to you...
Im sorry hon... But if your not happy then only you can take action to make your self happy... Waiting will never get you there... Im treading lightly... Keeping it very slow...
I just dont know, if its him or me... I really liked the guy before... But I pulled away when he tried to tell me what to do...
Cuz yeah Im not having it..
I already put that on the table...
Well at least he doesnt know where I live  ...
Im just for now going with the flow, and see what he does.. But yes Im keeping a close eye and being extra cautious.
IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 5625
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted December 23, 2011 11:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
Euhhh.. NOPE!!!!! Im never talking to that dude again! He tried for over an hour to get me to go to his house so we could talk this through.. but nahhh.. I have no interest in working it out...
He said the wrong thing to me... I lost any and ALL interest in him.
lol, thats what i thought, so i was like "wtf?? .......wait, is this what i think???" ------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 02:14 AM
-IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5371
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 24, 2011 02:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
To be honest, I feel that he sounds controlling and I have some serious concerns here. I don't mean to be rude, but no one has the right to DEMAND that you go out with them!
Exactly! Which is exactly why I never did...
Now he's asking for another chance..
But Im not sure about it... but I did set up some expectations.... I let him know thats not going to fly with me... IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 3097
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 24, 2011 03:03 AM
Noone can controlling a Leo lol..you been through an moon Pluto synastry before. Maybe this one will be better. If its feels ok just go for it. You can always stop later. I dont like when people stop love because what they think are bad synastry. This people will miss life experience. The right way are follow feelings. Im in a DW moon pluto relationship now and I love it. Moon square Pluto and moon sextile Pluto. Both of us have also this in natals. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 03:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
Exactly! Which is exactly why I never did...
Now he's asking for another chance..
But Im not sure about it... but I did set up some expectations.... I let him know thats not going to fly with me...
Good for you for standing up for yourself! Never let a partner disrespect you or control you; sounds like you are very grounded and have a lot of self-respect. :-) IP: Logged |
Ceridwen
Knowflake Posts: 4468
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 03:47 AM
Honestly?Without even looking at the astrology, run.
If he is that controlling and manipulative and demanding now, he will not change that behaviour. Chances are it will even get more pronounced, and`also I get the feeling that you donīt really want to be with him. So don`t. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 07:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by popcorn:
Noone can controlling a Leo lol..you been through an moon Pluto synastry before. Maybe this one will be better. If its feels ok just go for it. You can always stop later. I dont like when people stop love because what they think are bad synastry. This people will miss life experience. The right way are follow feelings. Im in a DW moon pluto relationship now and I love it. Moon square Pluto and moon sextile Pluto. Both of us have also this in natals.
but her instincts are telling her to stop and I think she is questioning her instincts but I am just genuinely a little concern. IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 3097
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 24, 2011 07:32 AM
I agree with you about the instincts. Thats important. If we always will choice a man by synastry chart I think its big chance to be single for ever.IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 07:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
He says can I see you tonight? I said no (see vein Leo thread.. lol.. I have a fever blister and not letting any one see me)
He got upset saying see you always back out.. I said no.. I just need a few days to talk to you.. Go with the flow and see how it goes.. He said why waste time.. You know I want to be with you, and get started with this..
I sad see your pressuring me.. I cant make you that promise..
So IDK... Im talking to him.. but Im going slow.. I just dont know..
Color me confused. I thought you're married!
Merry Xmas!  IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 09:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MessyLilLeo:
I agree, don't do it.
I'm currently in a poopy relationship and I don't have the balls to get out. It's not horrible, but there are definitely rage fits over nothing and thorough incompatibility. I often wish we had never gotten anything started, that I had heeded the red flags. I feel like I'm always waiting for him to want to break up with me, and deep down I know it will probably never happen. There are so many things about the true me that he does NOT appreciate, things that irritate and cause bottled rage. I feel a little trapped, but I know in the end it's my fault.
I know, it sounds like a total bunch of "domestic situation" stuff, and it really isn't; but I am DEFINITELY not fulfilled or happy. My little Leo heart wants to shine; alas, he's Cappy and Crappy - such a downer! Damaged goods, childhood issues that he doesn't know how to deal with. He uses tactics like manipulating with his emotional outbursts, and it took me a while to learn that. What's more is it sounds like that's what this guy is doing, but starting small. He probably isn't even be doing it counsciously.
It's not your job to "heal" it, or show him another way either. That's kind of how I got trapped. Five years now, and I've learned a lot about myself and others, but totally waiting for the right break. Not trying to steal the stage here, or tell you what to do, but my heart is racing for you a little bit as I type this. Maybe I'm just totally jaded though with my own situation.
Sometimes you think you're not letting people push you around, and really you were putty in their hands the whole time.
I hope it works out for you, whatever choice you make. My heart goes out to you...
My husband has temper issues but he is also really smart and has a good heart and truly cares for me. He takes care of me. I have had to change and he too and things are improving a lot in this area finally but it didn't happen by night. I had to go through great lengths to get my message across and almost left him many times and I too had to change how I interact with him as even though he is the one that had issues with self control and anger there is things in how one chooses to handle situation that can help situation or escalate it. I did some emotional freedom technique with my dad who is a therapist in reference to this and this allowed me to get rid of all the emotional baggage I had accumulated in reference to my feelings about our fights and his poor control over the last 4 years or so. This allowed me to forgive him and start from scratch and now when conflicting situations arise just observe him and feel different about him so it results in me handleling situation in a more mature fashion and so situation doesn't escalate, of course he is also genuinely controlling himself better too so our relationship is finally growing in this area after over 4 years of been together. It hasn't been an easy ride but we are entering a new stage. My relationship with him is very karmic I Must say and has many good things as well. I don't know the details of yours but you sound like I did a while back when I was undergoing a crisis in my relationship and I just feel you should know that I am getting out of the crisis. I have noticed that setting firm boundaries in a CALM assertive way really helps a lot. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 09:53 AM
Messy,Ofcourse if you don't love him and feel more unhappy with him than happy, you should leave him. I recommend taking a vacation by yourself to think. IP: Logged |
birdy
Knowflake Posts: 506
From: Sunny
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 10:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Honestly?Without even looking at the astrology, run.
If he is that controlling and manipulative and demanding now, he will not change that behaviour. Chances are it will even get more pronounced, and`also I get the feeling that you donīt really want to be with him. So don`t.
Ditto. I dont even care to really get into the deep part of astrology for this question. Gut reaction...follow your instincts. You keep him at bay for a reason. Not to say all 12th house synastry is bad, it depends on the maturity of both people..so with that said, when I saw his Sun in your 12th house, I saw that as a big red sign...I'd stay away from him.
IP: Logged |
stillatlarge
Knowflake Posts: 269
From: TX
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted December 24, 2011 10:30 AM
I say run as much for his shallow, thoughtless, impulsivity as the pushiness. I've seen people like that before. That's never going to work with a Leo. He sounds dumb as a rock on top of everything else.IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 4817
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 24, 2011 12:03 PM
I remember him. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5371
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 24, 2011 01:11 PM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
Color me confused. I thought you're married!
Merry Xmas!
Ohhh no. no ... I split with my husband about 3 years ago. maybe in some post I say my husband.. or ex.. But we are no longer together. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5371
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 24, 2011 01:22 PM
Ok Let me explain a little bit better First, Im not afraid of him, or worried about him tyring to control me.. Cuz if he does, Ill be gone, and just cut off all contact with him...
But I (MEEEE) have a deep feeling that I must remain in control here.. Its like get real or there's just no point. Which is why I cut off contact with him before.. HE's calling me and asking for another chance.. "Lets see if we can work it out"
HE's being honest saying from the start I want to be with you.. This is my plan.. Which is kinda scary for me.. I dont really "plan" to get into a relationship.. I just let things happen, and go with it.. So saying it right from the start, IDK... It's just off for me...
So I have a need to control this about him, and tell him to just slow down and see what happens.. If it happens it happens.. If it doesnt, it doesnt... But he's like well if you dont want tell dont waste my time...
But IDK.. either way right now.. I need more time... He like wants a promise of relationship, which I cant give him.. I told him that.. Which is why I feel pressure from him...
But IDK Im so head over heals with fish man, that I dont think I could really even give this a fair shot..
Fishman has me all messed up.. LOL He's a good guy overall... I do like him... Its was pretty intense before.. I really liked that... I just dont like the pressure.. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 01:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
Ohhh no. no ...I split with my husband about 3 years ago. maybe in some post I say my husband.. or ex.. But we are no longer together.
Oh I see! So he's an ex, not a husband (I seem to remember some post about your "husband" hence the confusion)! I thought it was the beer talking or thinking there for a minute. 
I agree that everyone above that demanding a date is not making one worthy of one!
You deserve a lot better, girl.  IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 24, 2011 02:00 PM
You need to talk to "fish man". IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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