Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  Devastating Break-Up (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Devastating Break-Up
Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 27, 2011 10:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My close friend is going through some tough times the past 4 months after his girlfriend of 3 years broke up with him. At the time that I found out, I was REALLY REALLY shocked myself because the two were almost inseparable.

The girl was really spoiled by my friend - he did everything for her and gave her everything she needed materially. He also devoted A LOT of time to her, helping her study for her classes in college, helping her decide what major to pursue. This guy literally spent days and hours tutoring her, sometimes he would even have to do her homework FOR HER. He also drives her around everywhere and frequently takes her out to eat whatever she wants and whenever she wants.

Unfortunately, she has HUGE family issues. I'm not sure if this can be shown in her natal chart, but she resents her mother with a passion but is deadly scared of her. Her parents didn't know about this relationship at all, she kept it a secret for 3 years. (I'm guessing it's my friend's venus and sun falling into her 12th house) She is dead afraid of her parents, who are abusive and forbids her to date or see anyone who is not from the same TOWN in their own country -- they can't accept simply the same race, they gotta be from the same TOWN/VILLAGE of people in their own country. (How ridiculous..)

In the end, she said she wanted to be independent and wants more freedom, therefore she broke up with him DESPITE the fact that my friend gave her all the freedom she needs (he let her handle her finances and if she happens to stumble then he'll give her advice) in all aspects, gave her privacy and her alone time but she ALWAYS called him and asked him to come over to her place.

The real reason for the break-up was that she couldn't face up to her parents and chose her parents over her lover, who AGREED that he would pay for her to move out into another apartment and pay off all her family's debt in order for her to be freed from her family. (Yes, her family is in huge debt) My friend was more "family" to her than her own family. He even helped co-sign her student loan (even after they broke up) because her parents didn't agree with her going to college and wanted her to get into an arranged marriage. At the end of the break up, she told my friend "Sorry, Randy, but blood is thicker than water" --ow. After the breakup my friend is still deeply deeply in love with her (who cries every time we drive past her house on the way to go out), and she still loved him but just couldn't get over her parents issues.

My question is, what exactly is so "wrong" in their synastry that made her so wanting freedom (what she truly wants is freedom from her restrictive parents) but couldn't "man-up" to them? Was this relationship with my friend meant to last? I do note that she is a libra (like me) and, lately, saturn hasn't been nice to us.

I also note that their composite chart is strangely one sided..haha

Here is the Synastry (Girl on outside, friend on inside):

Here is the composite:

IP: Logged

VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 4352
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010

posted December 27, 2011 11:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hate these synastry charts,I can never tell which degree is where...
So,Venus Sq Mars,Jup/Sat conj,Moon/Ura conj,Mars oppo Nep,her personal planets in his H1,her Saturn on IC,her Mars and Merc in his H1.

But Dcs rulers in opposition,one of which is Neptune...

16 yrs of age difference...

And she says blood is thicker than water?
I am interested to see her chart,she sounds to me like victim indentified with the abuser.

IP: Logged

carl
Knowflake

Posts: 1116
From: My soul is all over the world! (aka vagabond)
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 27, 2011 11:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for carl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That is his issue right there, at 35, dating a 21 year old. Age sometimes is an issue. At 21, she is immature, no way around it. They are simply at different point in their life.

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 28, 2011 04:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
=

IP: Logged

Illusion21
Newflake

Posts: 20
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted December 28, 2011 04:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Illusion21     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

I gotta rush off now but something came to mind about her chart and I'll be back to reply

IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 07:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is her natal chart:


IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 07:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The age difference didn't sit well with our friend-group either. At first we told our friend that she is way too young and she's not going to understand him the way he should be understood. On top of that, we also warned him that she might be using him for his money...(which she did but perhaps not as sinister..)but we couldn't do anything about it since he was with her already.

He said the reason why he first got together with her was because he felt sorry for her. --That's NEVER a good reason to get together with someone???

Then eventually he also liked her and feelings grew over time. He wanted to be there for her, he wanted to help her get past her troubles..that was his way of loving her. He let her do almost anything she wanted...but during the time we also warned him not to "spoil" her..which he obviously did with material things. In the beginning she said she was not materialistic...by the end of the relationship all she had were piles of expensive designer brand names piled all in her closet.

Would this have anything to do with chiron in their charts? I would think my friend was trying to heal her wounds and make her stronger. He also instilled a bit of faith in her and confidence in her...but this girl is really something else. She had a quick temper and is REALLY hard to deal with at times.

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 28, 2011 07:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
=

IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 07:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is it possible to tell from their charts the reason why he stayed with her for 3 years??? or the real reason why they got together from both POV?

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 28, 2011 07:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 28, 2011 07:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Starry~*:
Is it possible to tell from their charts the reason why he stayed with her for 3 years??? or the real reason why they got together from both POV?

From her point of view, I could see her motivated by security and stability--I think that she would like having material things, given how many planets would fall into Taurus' house and that she has Mars there.

(question: is his moon Taurus too? if so, that would strengthen this even more, to me)

From his side, I think that he likes to have someone to take care of, someone he can 'serve' (Mars in Virgo).

*I'll take another look later--have to get going soon--and see if anything else stands out.

IP: Logged

Doux Rêve
Moderator

Posts: 2164
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted December 28, 2011 08:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Regardes, her Mars is in Gemini! not Taurus.
But I agree with you about the 2nd house stellium, material possessions are important to her, very.

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 28, 2011 08:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
=

IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 09:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks guys for your inputs!

You guys are dead-on about my friend wanting to provide service...but I would call it SELF-LESS service.

He definitely likes taking care of his gfs..he is very nurturing and almost like a parent-figure. It is his idea of unconditional love...that he is willing to sarcrafice almost all to the one he loves.

His parents are also very supportive of him and provides love to him. They are buddhists.

And yes, people do take advantage of him EASILY. But I think recently he learned to stop bending over backwards for just about ANYONE.

For example - His ex gf would take a HUGE group of friends out to dinner and HE would have to pay for ALL of them. He said "it's okay, as long as she was happy..it was not ALWAYS the case." But he also had to BUY things for his ex-gf's friend..I was like wth??? It's like you gotta date her friends too...wtf.

The thing is, she is a libra...so she values her friends. She befriended a scorpio girl (who is NOT truly a friend to her) who was there for her when they broke up ONLY cuz she didn't have a bf at the time to distract her away. When the scorpio friend has a BF, she's no where in sight and never picks up phone calls or answer back. Yet, she still sticks close to her scorpio friend and asked MY friend to "help her out".

But you are very correct. She has a loaded 2nd house. She wants stability...but what about her reasoning for freedom??

She wants stability/material possession, and that is FAR from what her parents provides. Her parents want to force her into marriage with a man she doesn't know. They are VERY traditional and VERY closed minded. The girl is somewhat delusional too cuz she believes some of the things her parents says..and someone with atleast some commone sense can tell they are too old-fashioned in thinking.

IP: Logged

VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 4352
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010

posted December 28, 2011 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh,Virgo Asc is THAT good,when Asc and MC go under one ruler.

In her case,that's Merc in H2,with H2 stellium.
Is she ambitious? Strong H2 with MC planet,they shouldn't be provided for,they are workers..

I don't think she she is dillusional,but just impressionable.She is probably just as traditional as her parents. She succumbed to their notions,that's what I meant by 'victim identifying with abuser.'
Funny,H3 Pluto should be independent thinker. There is that square to Jupiter... Jupiter/Pluto carry seed of greed,and in her circumstances,I think she could be seeing herself as Cindarella,'something great will happen,and I'll sit around and wait' Jupiter can cripple Pluto.

IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 02:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was thinking since they had a saturn aspect, it would give the relationship some "glue" and longetivity.

However, it seems like my friend was the saturn - which meant he felt responsible for her?? and it was a hard aspect too..

Is it that if one person's saturn makes an aspect to another's personal planet, the saturn person is the one that wants to stay, whereas the planet person can leave the saturn person if they really wanted to?

IP: Logged

amelia28
Knowflake

Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted December 28, 2011 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for amelia28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by carl:
That is his issue right there, at 35, dating a 21 year old. Age sometimes is an issue. At 21, she is immature, no way around it. They are simply at different point in their life.

Exactly! He gave his heart to a 21 year old whose parents are super protective of her, naturally she wants to explore before getting married, given her age and how little freedom she has had bc of such restrictive parents.

Edit: your friend is probably the only relationship she has been on.

IP: Logged

VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 4352
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010

posted December 28, 2011 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Starry~*:
Is it that if one person's saturn makes an aspect to another's personal planet, the saturn person is the one that wants to stay, whereas the planet person can leave the saturn person if they really wanted to?

No,it is equally karmic. Just Saturn person is more up to challenge.

IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 03:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
Exactly! He gave his heart to a 21 year old whose parents are super protective of her, naturally she wants to explore before getting married, given her age and how little freedom she has had bc of such restrictive parents.

Edit: your friend is probably the only relationship she has been on.


Amelia, you were correct with the last part - my friend was her first REAL relationship she's ever had that lasted more than a couple of months. She was ready to marry my friend..but she just could not ever face up to the fact that she needs to live for herself and her own happiness - not for her parents. (atleast that's my thinking but I guess we're all different...but she is truly UNHAPPY with her family.)

You do have a very good point..they started dating when she was 18 years old..as "messed up" as it sounds. At the time, and STILL till 21 years of age, she is not mature enough. The girl has so much unecessary ego and pride and lashes out at my friend. After the break up my friend just said "it was so hard to deal with her at times it's like she has so much pride it was unbearable..and I'M the guy..and I'm a Leo..I have ALOT of pride..but this girl was off the charts. This girl needs to be stripped of her pride."

And he is very correct. I know her in real life too we're all friends..but she has a bad temperment. She is so defensive at the most littlest things. She can be VERY VERY mean and say things that she don't mean just to be spiteful and hurtful. --Perhaps this is the negative trait of moon in scorpio?

I'm not saying she wasn't sincere to my friend - she is and she does appreciate the things he did for her. However, the problem was, she was not able to reciprocate it back due to her circumstances (financially broke, no material possessions etc.) He was also wayyyyy smarter than her. Even with his full undivded attention to TUTOR her in Pre-calculus she only barely passed with a C.

IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 03:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
No,it is equally karmic. Just Saturn person is more up to challenge.

Ah I see. How about if the orb is a bit wide? would it still count as karmic or having some "glue"?

This is a bit off topic lol sorry:
My bf and I have Sun Conjunct Venus DW..my saturn on his venus is at 4* and his saturn on my venus is about 6.5* - Not tight enough? I've always wondered that..what if we had that as DW just with varying wide-ness.

IP: Logged

VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 4352
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010

posted December 28, 2011 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Starry~*:
Ah I see. How about if the orb is a bit wide? would it still count as karmic or having some "glue"?

This is a bit off topic lol sorry:
My bf and I have Sun Conjunct Venus DW..my saturn on his venus is at 4* and his saturn on my venus is about 6.5* - Not tight enough? I've always wondered that..what if we had that as DW just with varying wide-ness.


For synastries I use 3 degree orb!

Regarding girl and her pride.. She wouldn't accept anything if indeed she was proud person. Accepting and then acting up...that's hypocrisy.

IP: Logged

Doux Rêve
Moderator

Posts: 2164
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted December 28, 2011 03:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
For synastries I use 3 degree orb!

Oh Venus that's tight!

Starry, I would still count them, the only thing is that they have a weaker effect than if the orbs were really tight. But you may still feel them, I think.

IP: Logged

Starry~*
Knowflake

Posts: 398
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 28, 2011 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Furthermore, I want to add that I've noticed my friend's Sun and venus fell into her 12th house. I have this synastry with my bf also - just my mercury and venus in his 12th and he has his pluto in my 12th.

As for secrecy it applies to them cuz she kept him away from her parents. Her parents have met him but he was only referred to as "a friend".

As for my friend being the planet person in her 12th house, he definitely raised her unconscious awareness..it made her really uncomfortable and she became highly defensive. However, he also provided lots of love and support so that she can overcome her own demons...unfortunately she still wasnt able to face up to it..pity.

How can the 12th house synastry be overcome in a relationship? is it possible? does it require the people to be highly intune with spirituality and wanting to better themselves?

I've always read that 12th house synastry is bad because it really shakes the ground for the people. Some of them are really uncomfortable with it. Would this be true for my friend's ex-gf because she has NO planets in those houses, therefore, she's uncomfortable with his planets being in there?

Unlike my bf and I, we both have sun in our 12th house natally..so in a sense even if we have planets in each other's 12th houses, we atleast can relate?

I duno, these are just my views..what do u guys think?

IP: Logged

VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 4352
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010

posted December 28, 2011 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am flexible in natals

IP: Logged

VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 4352
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010

posted December 28, 2011 03:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Starry~*:
Furthermore, I want to add that I've noticed my friend's Sun and venus fell into her 12th house. I have this synastry with my bf also - just my mercury and venus in his 12th and he has his pluto in my 12th.

As for secrecy it applies to them cuz she kept him away from her parents. Her parents have met him but he was only referred to as "a friend".

As for my friend being the planet person in her 12th house, he definitely raised her unconscious awareness..it made her really uncomfortable and she became highly defensive. However, he also provided lots of love and support so that she can overcome her own demons...unfortunately she still wasnt able to face up to it..pity.


I read somewhere that personal planets in somebody's H12 means that they have been friends/lovers in past life. But I am not sure about it,if I had to include past life reference I'd say they had some kind of relation.

I don't like H12 connections,H12 is very private.

IP: Logged


This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2012

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a