posted January 05, 2012 10:04 AM            

When I am angry and somebody tells me "chill out" or "calm down" it annoys me more. So it doesnt help me. it goes the opposite. I tend to calm down when somebody tries to understand what annoys me, the reason, when they ask me questions, when they LISTEN.

when people say "chill out" it is for me as they were saying "i dont care, just dont bother me with your emotions, it is not appropriate"...

I am not sure which astrological aspects define the way people calm down, but i am interested in seeing if there is any pattern in what helps people calm down and their astrological features.

posted January 05, 2012 11:34 AM            

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
When I am angry and somebody tells me "chill out" or "calm down" it annoys me more.

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posted January 05, 2012 12:22 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
My Sun's in an earth sign. Being calm is my default state.

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posted January 05, 2012 12:25 PM              

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
your moon and aspect to you moon?

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posted January 05, 2012 12:32 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
FINALLY! someone else understands!

I have an anxiety disorder plus a Cancer moon. I get so mad when people tell me to "calm down". Hmm, yeah, like I can just flip a magic switch and be what you want on command. Not realistic! It just makes me madder, as does when people tell me to shut up. Worst thing that you can do! The best thing to do--the thing would be helpful--is to either just me alone for awhile and let me work it out, or else just let me know (in words) that you care/that you hope that I have a good day or something like that. Basically, show me that you still like me even if I'm stressed and not at my best. That is helpful. Trying to shut me up or force me to be calm with the snap of a finger does not work and just makes it 100x worse.

I also completely agree that it makes me feel like I'm bothering people and like they don't care.

For me, what works is cutting back on caffeine (though I still need my coffee, I have cut back, though I messed up today--I'm feeling it, though, so I won't be doing that again soon). Another thing that works is caffeine free herbal teas. I have also noticed that I'm at my most irritable early in the morning, after I get up--I have a lot of energy then, but I am also really anxious and can get stressed easier. So, I try to pay attention to that, realize that I'm not quite myself yet, and not make any decisions or send any really important communication then. On top of that, I notice that I am much more irritable when I haven't eaten in awhile. So, I try to pay attention to that as well and to not write to people/say things/make decisions if I haven't eaten. I don't have a big appetite and don't get hungry a lot, so I don't eat more, but I try to time when I eat better so that I'm not going too long without something.

Paying attention to physical cues of stress is really helping me a lot to tame it.

Physical exercise also helps. When I'm angry, and I go on my bike or on a treadmill, I'm on fire. Or even if I'm just using my hand weights or am doing some strengthening exercises--moving around when I'm angry helps burn off that energy in a healthy way.

I also pray a lot, as I am a spiritual person (Christian).

If I am able to do so, I also try to find something that will always make me laugh, and watch/listen to it. If I'm at work, I can try to think of something funny.

Oddly enough, the one place that I'm able to turn off my emotions is at work. I still feel them, but I can function when I'm sad or upset. Work distracts me and gives me something to do, plus I don't want to get fired, so the game face goes on. (Mars in Capricorn).

As for aspects, I don't know what if any would indicate how I calm down; not sure which planet/house is connected to that.

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funny when you mention that being hungry.. lol i had the same in the past. now, i try to have food available on my bag, so i never get cranky because lack of food, but wonder if it is moon in cancer?

i have mars/sun/venus (my chart ruler) in cancer and i can relate to what you have written except with the things about being able to control at work. well, that mars in capricorn hels a lot.

I can also relate to the way of calm down, except for leaving me alone with moon in gemini conjunct mercury i want to vent and talk ... lol, but doing physical activities, yes, i have found it very helpful since i discover it, not only for anger, but also for any small sign of depression. and Cycling has a strong good influence on me.. the idea of movement definetly help, but i thought it was related to moon in gemini (feeling the air, music and movement) is helpful to gemini mooners.

posted January 05, 2012 12:34 PM            

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Originally posted by LoVeLy:
This sounds like me when someone says calm down I like want to scream (I don't do it though)I've got Mars squaring my Moon and Mars square Pluto I've got this CRAZY temper BUT Music calms me down Esp songs by Enigma Deep Forest and U2

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posted January 05, 2012 12:36 PM              

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2C9pn5wuq8

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posted January 05, 2012 12:36 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by nordicsoul:
[b] your moon and aspect to you moon?

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posted January 05, 2012 01:07 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
Not at all. It actually puts things in perspective IMO.

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so funny thing. you are most of the times calm and you wont be upset for the "calm down" sentence. wondering for whom this sentence work? because after all people like you dont need the "chill out" because you are always icy (lol), and the ones who tend to get hot get even hotter when they hear the word..

posted January 05, 2012 02:09 PM            

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
so funny thing. you are most of the times calm and you wont be upset for the "calm down" sentence. wondering for whom this sentence work? because after all people like you dont need the "chill out" because you are always icy (lol), and the ones who tend to get hot get even hotter when they hear the word..

a good lesson for those using the sentence.. it does not work... unless the purpose is to annoy..

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It works for me. Sometimes I can drown in emotions and it's so intense that I don't even realize it's causing havoc to my body.

If someone says "calm down" in a calm and/or caring manner -so NOT in a negative/irritating tone- a switch does goes on. I must retreat back to my cocoon and think things through, usually for the better.

posted January 05, 2012 02:13 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm a Capricorn and I behave like a Pit Viper. I'm docile. I'm low key and camouflaged. Many would view me as sluggish. I do my own thing and mind my own business.

Just don't step on me and get me fired up. My personality changes drastically into becoming hyper aggressive. After I'm angered, I will never back down, and I won't leave you alone until you are dead.

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posted January 05, 2012 02:15 PM            

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Originally posted by Moonfish:
I have Pisces moon 12H, I feel like I'm pretty intuitive with people's emotions. So as long as your calm I'm clam, even if it's a topic that irritates me I'm willing to listen. But if I can sense your angry especially with me than the sun/mars/pluto conjunction will kick in x.x

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posted January 05, 2012 02:20 PM            

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Originally posted by pandacake:
It works for me. Sometimes I can drown in emotions and it's so intense that I don't even realize it's causing havoc to my body.

If someone says "calm down" in a calm and/or caring manner -so NOT in a negative/irritating tone- a switch does goes on. I must retreat back to my cocoon and think things through, usually for the better.

Now putting myself in the shoes of the comforter. I'm horrible with expressing myself clearly (Saturn in 3rd house perhaps). So when I want to show appreciation, care or profound sympathy to someone, I have to look for the right words for a loooong time. And even then, it's frustrating and discouraging because I am still not able to fully convey my true sympathies/appreciation to people I really like or care about.

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thanks pandcake. i see you have a point. we sometimes are not aware how angry we are until it reach certaiin point. others tend to notice early when we start to flip.

i could say that it is not much about the right words. I will feel comforted with a caring face.

posted January 05, 2012 02:24 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
i don't understand how you can get angry and then channel it somewhere else. it's passive in a way is it not? i've never gotten really really angry ever ima taurus sun/venus but if i did i'd go by way of scorpio mars, saturn, and pluto. more pluto. i'd want that thing that made me angry gone even jsut from my reality. they don't hafta e chilling with the fishes or anything.

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posted January 05, 2012 02:25 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
My Sun's in an earth sign. Being calm is my default state.

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my sun/mars/venus in cancer

moon square pluto/uranus

not being calm is my default state.. lol

posted January 05, 2012 02:32 PM            

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
thanks pandcake. i see you have a point. we sometimes are not aware how angry we are until it reach certaiin point. others tend to notice early when we start to flip.

i could say that it is not much about the right words. I will feel comforted with a caring face.

what are your moon placement and aspects?

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My Moon is in Scorpio in first house, conjunct Pluto and Sextile Neptune.

posted January 05, 2012 02:33 PM            

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
yes piscis moon tend to absorb the energies and be affected. is there somehting you know that calm you down. i suspect isolation given your piscis moon

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