posted January 17, 2012 12:15 AM            

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
Both my parents were very damaged, overlooked, and religious people and I happend to be born through "miraculous" circumstances. I was therefor raised to feel as though I was special, unique, and here for some spiritual reason. My siblings were even pushed aside and forced to bolster the idea that I was in some way miraculously special. When I was a kid, I was super-charged with empathy, but so thick with ego that I couldn't comprehend other's situations past my own ability to apply them to my own experiences (which were sheltered and fabricated).

At age 9 my parents divorced, resulting in my father's full commitment to church and my mother's full commitment to her lover (who was only 10 years older than me and percieved my mothers attention to me as a threat). Most of my youth was spent in complete confusion. I dissasociated, created personas, and tried to live up to the foundation my parents laid for me. It actually took many years, a lot of drugs, and eventually physical death to comprehend my ego as a facet of self instead of "the quintessential expression of self". Even after realizing that the Mask can be removed, I struggled with the resulting vulnerability. The tender empathy I swam in as a kid, never went away, it just developed a nice thick scab (which was torn off every time I stepped away from the ego).

Looong story short (too late), I learned that ego is useful. It can exist as a tool for self-awareness, transformation, and refinement; an indicator of our habitual energies. I used to believe that ego was "bad", but I was fortunate to have a very wise Leo set me straight. She taught me that ego is a tool, like your hand. You know the hand does not make up the whole of you, and even if your hand were diseased, you would try to heal it before resolving to cut it off. The same can be said for the ego, as "egolessness" in the world is like walking in space with no spacesuit... not wise. Just don't forget to take the suit off when you get back home.

The Juicy ego planets I can think of in my chart are:

Pluto conjunct NN
opposed ASC

ASC Aries:
Ruled by Mars Leo
Ruled by Sun Sagittarius

Mars Leo:
Trine its Ruler Sun Sagittarius, by exact degree (partile).
sextile Pluto

Wonky Grand Fire Trine(s):
ASC Aries, trine Neptune Sagittarius, trine Mars Leo, trine South Node Aries, trine Sun Sagittarius (conjunct Neptune)

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posted January 17, 2012 12:22 AM            

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Originally posted by Alma Sun:
That's beautiful, Xiiro.

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I conqur. Your upbringing and how you grew as a person sounds really really interesting. Definitely not something you encounter every day, that's for sure.

posted January 17, 2012 12:31 AM            

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Originally posted by Geminisquared:
He probably does have it, Its really personal thing. He could just be a douche too. People with npd usually have other personality disorders, they usually have obsessive compulsive disorder too. They could be obsessive over their image for example. I'm actually a perfectionist about more rational things. Thank goodness.

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posted January 17, 2012 12:32 AM            

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Originally posted by Geminisquared:
When I was 15 years old, I was a complete brat, and very self destructive. I was diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder and Avoidant personality disorder. Ironically they are the polar opposite disorders lmao. I had to deal with a lot of bullying and racism. Instead of losing confidence my ego just blew up, and I just became a loner. I've matured a lot.

I'm pretty sure venus square jupiter would cause this. I'm sure mars in aries would fuel that.
I'm curious is anyone else have a huge ego? Or some personality disorder?

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My aqua friend has venus square jupiter and mars in aries and he does have a big ego but doesn't like that he is like that and struggles with that.

posted January 17, 2012 12:58 AM            

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Originally posted by Geminisquared:
Thats very interesting, I've never thought about it in that way. Obviously being confident is a great thing. Its just that we are suppose to be both confident and modest". which is almost impossible. I've had a really odd childhood too. I was very happy, but it was probably very strange for a child.

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Would you believe it equally difficult to be confident or modest when either is individually appropriate? If you meet a person who says, "Yesterday you were so modest, but now you seem so confident. I don't know which one is you" who is the person with the real problem? The one who is capable of responding appropriately to a variety of conditions, or the person who is only capable of comprehending one?

You have Gemini in your forum name, I would wager you have earned the right to be mutable. =)

I was happy with my early childhood too, it was very blissful. I feel blessed to have experienced so much love and magic, even at its cost. I think having known happiness is what kept me alive through the darkest times.

posted January 17, 2012 02:51 AM            

I've always attributed this to my Unaspected Sun. The Sun has no filter, operating in its purest form. I'm a Sun in Sagittarius, but usually mistaken for a Leo by those who are well-versed in astrology. I actually feel more Leonine than Sagittarian myself. The only Leo shading I have is Chiron in Leo in the 10th.

posted January 17, 2012 02:52 AM            

I've always attributed this to my Unaspected Sun. The Sun has no filter, operating in its purest form. I'm a Sun in Sagittarius, but usually mistaken for a Leo by those who are well-versed in astrology. I actually feel more Leonine than Sagittarian myself. The only Leo shading I have is Chiron in Leo in the 10th.

posted January 17, 2012 03:02 AM            

Definately agree with venus square jupiter, and any jupiter afflictions/hard aspects, conjunction included in bigging up the ego but lacking substance. Know someone withis this aspect who has made up his own image and doesn't live up to it but in his own mind he is hot (so not)!

posted January 17, 2012 03:07 AM            

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Originally posted by DayandNight21:
Never had a problem with Leos I have met and their egos, the sun is purest in Leo so unless their sun is afflicted then Leos have healthy egos.

Definately agree with venus square jupiter, and any jupiter afflictions/hard aspects, conjunction included in bigging up the ego but lacking substance. Know someone withis this aspect who has made up his own image and doesn't live up to it but in his own mind he is hot (so not)!

Nice jupiter aspects, trine, sextile can indeed be beneficial, most of the time but not always.

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posted January 17, 2012 09:44 AM            

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Where would we be without narcissists? There would probably be no great works of art, or of science. Great empires would not exist. The ego and self esteem necessary for creating something new is found partially in the mirror of a narcissist's soul; they need to be admired and only by creating or destroying, can they attain that goal.

"Though there is plenty of narcissism without greatness, there is no greatness without narcissism." Albert Bernstein author of Emotional Vampires

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posted January 17, 2012 03:05 PM            

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Originally posted by DayandNight21:
I have jupiter/uranus/ascendent stellium and I don't have a big ego nor do I think I am hot...attractive yeah but that is it. I am far from been full of myself.

Well I don't know you and so you relating yourself to my text is totally taking it out of context; I was not talking about stelliums or planets on the ascendant at all. My example was for a person I know who is venus square jupiter with jupiter afflictions to several planets. I have noticed this pattern with several people with jupiter afflictions I did not say everyone was like this or that it would necessarily apply to you.

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I know you are not referring to me, you don't even know my aspects LOL, but you did say the following:

"Definitely agree with venus square jupiter, and any jupiter afflictions/hard aspects, conjunction included in bigging up the ego but lacking substance. Know someone withis this aspect who has made up his own image and doesn't live up to it but in his own mind he is hot (so not)! "

posted January 17, 2012 03:08 PM            

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted January 17, 2012 03:10 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I like women with healthy egos. I like women who exude self-confidence and know what they want. My wife is a Leo. Confidence is usually accompanied by optimism, decisiveness and direction, plus a big heart and a quest for happiness and success.

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posted January 17, 2012 03:57 PM            

"I was diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder and Avoidant personality disorder. Ironically they are the polar opposite disorders lmao."

NPD and AvPD do seem to be opposite, don't they? Have you been able to identify aspects/placements in your chart that could account for AvPD characteristics in you?

posted January 17, 2012 04:00 PM            

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Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.

Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around psychotherapy.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

• Believing that you're better than others
• Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
• Exaggerating your achievements or talents
• Expecting constant praise and admiration
• Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
• Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
• Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
• Taking advantage of others
• Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
• Being jealous of others
• Believing that others are jealous of you
• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Setting unrealistic goals
• Being easily hurt and rejected
• Having a fragile self-esteem
• Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

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"The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off." — Robert Hand

posted January 17, 2012 05:43 PM            

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Originally posted by Linda Jones:
Geminisquared,

"I was diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder and Avoidant personality disorder. Ironically they are the polar opposite disorders lmao."

NPD and AvPD do seem to be opposite, don't they? Have you been able to identify aspects/placements in your chart that could account for AvPD characteristics in you?

I mean, what in anyone's chart could account for avoidance traits either by itself or in combination with NPD which seems more in-your-face?

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posted January 17, 2012 05:58 PM            

Okay if you could name at least one other person you love besides your mother, then you probably do not have npd. You're perfectly normal If you think you have it, therapy might be a good idea if you are self destructive. It could be the reason why you are perpetually single. Its subconscious and needs to be addressed.. I think astrology helped me a lot bettering myself. I don't really go to therapy anymore

Think of myth of narcissus, he had many people fall in love with him yet he rejected everyone, (he was not capable of loving others) Until he saw his reflection and fell in love. Then drowned because he was all beauty and no brains :P

Most of my relationships have only been sexual, I can't really commit to anyone. I'm to selfish. Usually once I have someone I lose interest. Friends come and go, its not usually important to me. Its really just challenge, I'm learning how to be more flexible with people. I'm not as bad I use to be. I've just learn to love being single. I have true node in the 7th house too.

I have soft spot for animals thou :3 I have pluto in the 5th house so I'm very paternal/maternal with children and animals. Mainly because animals and kids give you unconditional love, and they are innocent The only time I'm not selfish is when I have to babysit.

posted January 17, 2012 08:01 PM            

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Obviously being confident is a great thing. Its just that we are suppose to be both confident and modest". which is almost impossible.

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I disagree that CONFIDENCE and EGO are the same thing. They are extensions of each other, but reversed images. In my experience, confidence comes from being fully comfortable in one's own skin, whereas ego comes from having to overcompensate out of feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

With confidence, you can be both confident and modest. Modesty simply belies the truth that you have the ability to accept the truths of others AS WELL AS the confidence to accept your own. It's actually almost an acceptance of the duality in yourself and others. Modesty also infers that you realize that you are not the center of the universe and that others' needs and wants have validity.

Extreme modesty or ego can both be negative traits.

I myself find a pull between confidence, modesty, and sometimes ego (because everyone has insecurities). I am heavy on Virgo (modesty) and all fire signs (Sagittarius, Leo, Aries), so I try to find a balance, but it doesn't always work out for me. It just depends on the situation.

posted January 17, 2012 08:20 PM            

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Originally posted by enchantress299:
I disagree that CONFIDENCE and EGO are the same thing. They are extensions of each other, but reversed images. In my experience, confidence comes from being fully comfortable in one's own skin, whereas ego comes from having to overcompensate out of feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

With confidence, you can be both confident and modest. Modesty simply belies the truth that you have the ability to accept the truths of others AS WELL AS the confidence to accept your own. It's actually almost an acceptance of the duality in yourself and others. Modesty also infers that you realize that you are not the center of the universe and that others' needs and wants have validity.

Extreme modesty or ego can both be negative traits.

I myself find a pull between confidence, modesty, and sometimes ego (because everyone has insecurities). I am heavy on Virgo (modesty) and all fire signs (Sagittarius, Leo, Aries), so I try to find a balance, but it doesn't always work out for me. It just depends on the situation.

I was not surprised to find that I have the Narcissus asteroid conjunct my Mars in Leo, because I tend to attract very egotistical/narcissistic men. Ironically, they have been my greatest lessons in patience, tolerance, and balance. And also, they are who helped me distinguish the difference between confidence and ego...

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posted January 17, 2012 08:40 PM            

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Originally posted by Geminisquared:
Okay just to clear things up. Being diagnosed with npd means you have extreme traits . A lot of people can be vain, confidence is actually a great trait. narcissists are usually not capable of loving others but themselves. leos have big hearts, they love everyone.

Okay if you could name at least one other person you love besides your mother, then you probably do not have npd. You're perfectly normal If you think you have it, therapy might be a good idea if you are self destructive. It could be the reason why you are perpetually single. Its subconscious and needs to be addressed.. I think astrology helped me a lot bettering myself. I don't really go to therapy anymore

Think of myth of narcissus, he had many people fall in love with him yet he rejected everyone, (he was not capable of loving others) Until he saw his reflection and fell in love. Then drowned because he was all beauty and no brains :P

Most of my relationships have only been sexual, I can't really commit to anyone. I'm to selfish. Usually once I have someone I lose interest. Friends come and go, its not usually important to me. Its really just challenge, I'm learning how to be more flexible with people. I'm not as bad I use to be. I've just learn to love being single. I have true node in the 7th house too.

I have soft spot for animals thou :3 I have pluto in the 5th house so I'm very paternal/maternal with children and animals. Mainly because animals and kids give you unconditional love, and they are innocent The only time I'm not selfish is when I have to babysit.

The idea of having my own kids one day is kind of scary, I could never deal with teenagers...

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posted January 17, 2012 08:52 PM            

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Originally posted by Moonfish:
Interesting ^^ So let me ask you this
If the world was full of more trustworthy people (...because let's admit betrayal & cheating is too common for comfort in this generation.) would you be a lot less "selfish & unloving"? Would it help most people who have npd?

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