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Author
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Topic: Why are people trying to make me feel guilty?
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popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 2868
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted June 27, 2012 08:57 AM
  
Regardespl. I like that you're an really kindly person who whants well between people. Thats a very good trait I see in you. I also really like that you want to see things from both side, also her friends side...You should not excuse how you see on this because I think you also have right on another way.. We resolve problem on an different way. In my life often to much talk and discussion to resolve problems ended in an completely break. I think avoid or go away from those people for a while works out better in the end. Its the best way to not lose friend. IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 2868
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted June 27, 2012 09:05 AM
Do nothing is also a descision. Do nothing is also a choice which will bring result in the future..confronting give not always the best result IP: Logged |
bttrklk
Knowflake Posts: 132
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted June 27, 2012 09:09 AM
first think that came to my mind is that there may be "hard neptune to personal planets" aspect or "hard pluto to personal planets" aspect.and i saw that the other's neptune quincunx your natal mars. once i read that neptune person cause the other one to feel guilty. IT'S NEPTUNE'S SUBTLE MANİPULATİON METHOD!!! in synastry, when my personal planets make a hard aspect to another person's neptune, that person made me feel guilty. when it's my mercury-moon conjunction, i felt guilty whenever i expressed myself in a spontaneous way. neptune person manipulates the other one by not reacting or by clinging. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8171
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 27, 2012 10:48 AM
quote:
Originally posted by taurusvirgoleolady1974:
lonake***pretty much everything you have described is spot on. you are awesome at reading charts.
We havent talked yet. we havent had time, but i cant wait. i have alot to get off. i dont know if and when.
Ahhh, I've heard this before , Thank you 
And thanks so much for the feedback on her situation, hope your meeting goes as planned  quote:
but i always find myself explaining myself to her
HUGE red flag, PLEASE don't do this. She has no right to demand this of you. Don't give in to her demons. I feel so bad for people who have to deal with jealous controlling people like this.
quote:
she is clearly a bitter woman and the thing is you will never see it...master at hiding her emotions, even from me.
Classic for controlling people like that, acting like kids when their problems are their own, THEY need to learn to handle them, not you.
quote:
the thing is, i could say the same about her, but life happens. she stood me up the other weekend. etc...but why am i supposed to feel bad?
RP is clearly projecting her negative experiences onto your situation.
quote:
i cant take when she gets sick because i absorb it all and it completely drains me. the pisces in me cant handle it. i get deeply depressed when she gets sick. but i have cleaned up behind her liek a baby a few times when she could not control her functions.
I'm glad you brought this up, because your Pisces is showing here big time, DSC. Scapegoat. Add to that t.Neptune on DSC. I'm not keen on solar returns, at all. But since your data is there I will look at your directions later today to see if something pressing is there, in addition to what you posted.IP: Logged |
taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 27, 2012 08:36 PM
quote:
Maybe I have been reading the situation wrong/interpreting it incorrectly. If so, I apologize. I had initially read it as you not having time for them after getting married/having kids, but maybe I got that wrong--or else maybe I didn't really realize just how far they were going or that they were ignoring you/not spending time with you, too. If that's the case, I owe you an apology
No you dont owe me an apology! There are several issues here so im sorry if it sound confusing! I just I appreciate you being objective. i am the same way. thank you for your input. Like you said she seems to be playing games and that is not right. i feel like she knows i feed into it.
yes we will have to talk and it wil not be fun.
its that i have had alot going on with friends leaving me in the last few years, and, well, its just really ******* me off to be honest. especially if you are a loyal friend; i see you know about that. it sucks. I feel like if i was miserable, then i would not have these problems with friends. I mean, i didnt know we were in competition to be married and/or happy. IP: Logged |
taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 27, 2012 08:39 PM
my few friends have always been like family to me, because i dont have any family really except my mom. i kept the same friend for many years and they seem to have dropped like flies. popcorn, yes i have other things to think about but i am experiencing alot of feelings because of the aformentioned. i havent been on the computer in a while, and am enjoying lindaland again.
quote:
Do nothing is also a descision. Do nothing is also a choice which will bring result in the future..
i am contemplating doing nothing. A part of me hope it blows over, bc seeing this other side of her really bothers me. but i keep being angry and probably need to clear the air.lonake thank you again...im not great at SRs either, but wow a blind man can see saturn opposing many things, just shooting my life down **ping**ping**ping***but it should be ending soon for Petes sake!
But I have this jam packed aries little boy for a while. he is so demanding.
quote:
once i read that neptune person cause the other one to feel guilty. IT'S NEPTUNE'S SUBTLE MANİPULATİON METHOD!!! in synastry, when my personal planets make a hard aspect to another person's neptune, that person made me feel guilty.
yes and i am really feeling it. silent manipulation. IP: Logged |
Despina
Knowflake Posts: 36
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted June 29, 2012 04:32 AM
Congrats on getting married and having a little boy, TaurusVirgoLeoLady! I think Hannaramaa and Lonake are spot on with the Mars/Saturn conjunction in Cancer... this woman is clearly using guilt to manipulate you into taking responsibility for where she's at right now (which has nothing to do with you). I see that you also have Venus and Jupiter in Pisces. Me too. Have you spent a lifetime bending over backwards to accommodate people? If so, it's only natural that some will react badly now that you're no longer in a position to do so. That isn't to say that her behaviour is justified - standing you up, in particular, is completely petulant. I realise that you value your friendships, and that's a very admirable quality, but you also need to value yourself. Small kids are gorgeous, but hard work sometimes! Do you really want to spend your valued 'me' time apologising to someone because they are having a hard time and you're not (or, at least, not having the same kind of a hard time?). If I were you I would explain how important the friendship meant to me, but be very clear about how much time and energy I was in a position to give at the moment. If she's unhappy with what's on offer she can go elsewhere. Hugs. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 3196
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted June 29, 2012 04:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by taurusvirgoleolady1974:
No you dont owe me an apology! There are several issues here so im sorry if it sound confusing! I just I appreciate you being objective. i am the same way. thank you for your input.Like you said she seems to be playing games and that is not right. i feel like she knows i feed into it.
yes we will have to talk and it wil not be fun.
its that i have had alot going on with friends leaving me in the last few years, and, well, its just really ******* me off to be honest. especially if you are a loyal friend; i see you know about that. it sucks. I feel like if i was miserable, then i would not have these problems with friends. I mean, i didnt know we were in competition to be married and/or happy.
Well, if things can't be worked out, maybe you could try to find time maybe get together with people that you'd like to get to know for coffee or something? Coffee or lunch is pretty simple and is a good way to have good one-on-one conversations in a low-key kind of setting; plus, it's not a huge time commitment, and since you have to eat anyway, may as well be with a friend, right? Or maybe brunch on the weekend? Or maybe take your son to the park (if you have good parks where you live) and maybe get to know some of the other moms with kids the age of your son?
IP: Logged |
taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 29, 2012 05:13 PM
despina: quote:
I realise that you value your friendships, and that's a very admirable quality, but you also need to value yourself. Small kids are gorgeous, but hard work sometimes! Do you really want to spend your valued 'me' time apologising to someone because they are having a hard time and you're not (or, at least, not having the same kind of a hard time?). If I were you I would explain how important the friendship meant to me, but be very clear about how much time and energy I was in a position to give at the moment. If she's unhappy with what's on offer she can go elsewhere. Hugs.
i need to print and copy this and put it on my bedroom wall! quote:
Well, if things can't be worked out, maybe you could try to find time maybe get together with people that you'd like to get to know for coffee or something? Coffee or lunch is pretty simple and is a good way to have good one-on-one conversations in a low-key kind of setting; plus, it's not a huge time commitment, and since you have to eat anyway, may as well be with a friend, right? Or maybe brunch on the weekend? Or maybe take your son to the park (if you have good parks where you live) and maybe get to know some of the other moms with kids the age of your son
RegardesPlatero: Good idea. im ready. this will be the first time i actually attempt to make friends. bc everyone else i grew up with (school, neighborhoods, etc.) just have to figure out how to bc everyone else i grew up with (school, neighborhoods, etc.). thanks!
IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8171
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 02, 2012 11:02 AM
quote:
Originally posted by taurusvirgoleolady1974:
lonake thank you again...im not great at SRs either, but wow a blind man can see saturn opposing many things, just shooting my life down **ping**ping**ping***but it should be ending soon for Petes sake!
Sure.
I think your friend here has lost control of that Sun/Jup/Pluto tsquare, to her detriment obviously, but you don't need to pay the price for her train wreck.
Has there been a talk or are you more content to leave it alone for now?
+ I agree with what RP suggested, new, decent people in your life
IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 3196
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 02, 2012 07:24 PM
@ taurusvirgo good luck! Keep us posted!IP: Logged | |
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