Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  Why are people trying to make me feel guilty? (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Why are people trying to make me feel guilty?
taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake

Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 24, 2012 08:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurusvirgoleolady1974     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have people in my life that have been close to my heart for over 25 years, especially my friend whom I look up to greatly, who are trying to make me feel guilty by not having alot of time for them right now. We are both leo moons and met in 1986. I have come to the conclusion she is jealous of my husband of 2 years, and me having a new son. She is a goal oriented aries and said if she does not marry by age 40 then she wont ever. well she turned 40 in march.

Try to make a long story short, she has spoken bad about me saying i dont have time for her, etc. and I have decided not to tell her anything else about my marriage bc i feel she is using it against me or secretly happy if we have problems, albeit very small. She has also said snide remarks about me to my face in public about me cooperating with my husband, as if it is a bad thing to compromise.

Her daughter is grown now and she is all alone. i dont think she has alot to do. She also is a bitter person, but tries to hide it.

She said we should spend more time together, and i immediately felt guilty and tried to find a way to make time for her which is difficult. I have been stood up by her and sometimes i am not able to get in touch with her. it goes both ways. I feels like a slap in the face, bc i always had her on a pedastal~we have been through alot together and we are constants in eachothers life. Now im wondering if she is my friend at all!

A few other people have tried to make me feel guilty but i cant accommodate everyone. Im tired alot. My son has 5 planets in Aries, HELLO...And they also have my number.

im lonely because i cant trust anyone because i think they want me to be sad, and maybe i just need to find married friends with babies?!
heres my chart:

IP: Logged

Milkyshutter
Knowflake

Posts: 103
From: Seoul, Korea
Registered: May 2012

posted June 24, 2012 09:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Milkyshutter     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I dont think this has anything to do with astrology. She is being hysterical. You have everything what she doesn't have. You also identified her as Leo moon. Leo moon people are extremely proud people, and when their ego is wounded it is ugly. It is called midsirected anger. She is angry at her self. Talk to her and be open how you feel. Leo moon people are extremely generous. She needs to know that you are not the source of her anger.

IP: Logged

sexyaqua30
Knowflake

Posts: 149
From: USA
Registered: Mar 2012

posted June 24, 2012 09:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sexyaqua30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My sis is an aries and although I love her to pieces she is the jealous hearted kind as well. Even though she has a great life she's still very competitive and if she deems what someone else is doing in their life as better than hers then yes she will take anything negative you've said about your spouse and find a way to remind you of it.

Just do what I did and stop telling her everything because regardless she's going to have something to talk about because she loves to talk about herself. Lol

Also I have an aries son as well and yes they have more energy in my opinion as a child than any other sign.

IP: Logged

Gem-Gurl
Knowflake

Posts: 1215
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Mar 2012

posted June 24, 2012 09:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gem-Gurl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I babysit an Aries!! Hes a lil fireball of fun and engergy and love and he is hilarious!!!!

About your prob... i agree with milkyshutter!! She said it all.

------------------
Quote i like---> "A collection of rare thoughts is nothing less then a cabinet of intellectual 'Gems' " - William B. Spraque with slight editing by me!!

IP: Logged

Milkyshutter
Knowflake

Posts: 103
From: Seoul, Korea
Registered: May 2012

posted June 24, 2012 09:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Milkyshutter     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gem-Gurl:

About your prob... i agree with milkyshutter!! She said it all.


OMG gem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's HE not she! You are really screwing up the chance getting to know me.

IP: Logged

Gem-Gurl
Knowflake

Posts: 1215
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Mar 2012

posted June 24, 2012 09:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gem-Gurl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Milkyshutter:
OMG gem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's HE not she! You are really screwing up the chance getting to know me.

GAHHHHHHH!!! IM SORRRY!!!!! Hey, you said so yourself, GEM!! lol *me* <--- earth void... regularly shoves foot in mouth.... sorrrys....

------------------
Quote i like---> "A collection of rare thoughts is nothing less then a cabinet of intellectual 'Gems' " - William B. Spraque with slight editing by me!!

IP: Logged

Odette
Knowflake

Posts: 665
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted June 24, 2012 10:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oOoOoOo
Lets talk Sun Signs!!!!!!!!

While we're at it - I will get my newspaper... and we can look up what they say about everyone Sun Sign this week!!

Fun FUN

IP: Logged

Lonake
Moderator

Posts: 8171
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 25, 2012 01:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The natal has Mars conj Saturn in Cancer, a loyalty responsibility to your clan, being willing to carry the burden to put in the extra work, but others don't operate from same framework, so consider that maybe you haven't been drawing strong boundaries in your attempts to create close connections. And that maybe some people take you for granted, or resent that you can pull off as much as you can, and they see that you want to be thought of as having it all together on the home front, so they knock you down (try to make you feel guilty cos they can't pull it off). You have a strength here, but taken too far it can turn into a weakness and leave you vulnerable to attack. Your family is important so make protecting them and you as the mother of the brood #1. Think of it that way, anyone who messes with you is messing with your baby's mom and that is not OK. I know Mars Cancer can have difficulties with confrontation. Not saying be aggressive, just a firm line in the sand about where your priorities lie and reaffirming your dedication to being the best mom you can be.
Another thing, esp if this is your 1st child, friendships go into a time of transition, and your new life can bring up unresolved issues in another. I think it's a healthy balance to also have friendships with people who are having the same life experience as you, and the most obvious is someone else with a new kid such as yourself, so I'd go out, have fun with my son, meet people, and branch out.
Maybe you can post the synastry.

IP: Logged

hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 25, 2012 01:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aries with a Leo moon... I don't even know where to begin. On one hand, I know why you like her. I love Leo moons. But one thing I recognize about Leo is they want what they want, and will always feel entitled to having it. They are good at arguing about it too because it's about themselves, which they know very well. You would think she could turn this into an opportunity and ask to babysit your son, or something as Leos always love children.

Otherwise, I don't think they are trying to destroy you. You still have friends, they are just being immature and selfish right now. Forgive them as not everyone has the ability to see beyond themselves.

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 3196
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted June 25, 2012 02:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, to be fair, from her side, how would you feel?

A lot of married people and people with kids just drop their non-married/non-kids friends and leave them behind.

She's probably feeling lonely, upset at herself for not meeting her goals, like a failure, and like you no longer want her or need her. I mean, if you were close, and she was there before the man and the kid, she probably is jealous of them. After all, she was there first. She wants to be a part of your life. She wants to know that she matters to you and that she doesn't have to go through life without her best friend. She doesn't want to be relegated to the fringes or be second-string in your life.

I can honestly relate to her. I've been ditched so many times for boyfriends/girlfriends, and I've seen people just stop caring about their friends when they get a ring or a kid. It's an awful feeling, really--it honestly feels like being replaced or else like only being a "starter" person until better ones came along. Honestly, I tend to not talk as much to people who are getting married/having a kid because I know that they will eventually ditch me in most cases; the ones who won't are to be treasured.

I'm not trying to slam you or anything; I'm just trying to point out her perspective. She is acting from a place of fear and hurt, but could handle it in a better way.

IP: Logged

hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 25, 2012 03:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
[B]Well, to be fair, from her side, how would you feel if you were ditched and forgotten?

A lot of married people and people with kids just drop their non-married/non-kids friends and leave them behind.


Uhm, hello! Family will usually take precedence over friends. It's not her job to coddle them (too) just because they're single and she's not... and she's a mom with a husband and multiple friends, whom she stated she's known for 25 years or so. It's not like she 's Kimberly (or whatever her name was) in Saved by The Bell marrying Zach.

IP: Logged

hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 25, 2012 03:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
The natal has Mars conj Saturn in Cancer

I'm no where near as qualified as Lonake is, but I'll add that I did spot the tMars in Cancer and immediately wondered to myself if that would activate guilt trips. Especially Cancer ruling your 11th house which is the house of friendships and groups, etc.

IP: Logged

Lonake
Moderator

Posts: 8171
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 25, 2012 03:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't want to speak for your friends, taurusvirgoleolady1974, but I would say that those close to you should be respectful of your time constraints and new responsibilities.

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 3196
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted June 25, 2012 04:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Uhm, hello! Family will usually take precedence over friends. It's not her job to coddle them (too) just because they're single and she's not... and she's a mom with a husband and multiple friends, whom she stated she's known for 25 years or so. It's not like she 's Kimberly (or whatever her name was) in Saved by The Bell marrying Zach.

I'm not saying that people should ignore their families, just am pointing out that it's really hard for those who get left behind.

To be fair, I did say that her friend could handle it better. However, I did want to point out her side, and speak from the friend's perspective, since there is another side to it.

I'm not saying that the friend should be "coddled", just that she shouldn't be tossed aside and forgotten just because of a man and a kid. It's understandable that those things take up a lot of time, but the friend shouldn't just be nobody or on the "b-team", especially a close friend. And as for the jealousy, apparently, she is no longer told things about the marriage, but again, people who get married, buy a house, etc. get really excited and talk about it all of the time when it first happens. If she had to hear about it pretty much 24/7, I can understand her being overwhelmed, since marriage is a thorny issue for her. It probably triggered feelings of shame and inadequacy. Her being a Leo moon, that is really rough. That said, she does have to take responsibility for her feelings, but I do think it's fair for people to at least understand what she is feeling and why.

Maybe I am biased because friendship is really important to me/have a packed 11th house, but that's how I roll. And, as I said, I get ditched for boyfriends/girlfriends often enough that I can relate to her. It really does feel like being a "starter" person. Transitions are hard not just for those going through them, but for those around them, too.

I also don't think that the friend's intention to make the married person feel guilty is to be malicious or malevolent. I honestly feel, based on information given, that she simply feels hurt. I think that she feels really rejected or not good enough. That said, again, she does have to deal with it and take charge of it, but she isn't a bad person for having those feelings. I would guess that the same is true of the other friends.

I don't think that the OP is a bad person, either, just to be clear. I honestly just wanted to point out the friends' perspectives. I can't personally relate to being that busy, nor would I want to, but I just wanted to point out that people wanting to spend time with someone are not necessarily trying to make someone feel bad or drive them crazy. They're probably just feeling lonely, neglected, or else are concerned that they're losing a good friend and they don't want that to happen. They aren't trying to be unfair, demanding, or disrespectful. They probably just want to know that they aren't being forgotten, that they still matter to the OP, and that they're still friends--that the friendship will survive life transitions. I'm getting the feeling that they want security and to re-connect.

I think that a fair solution would be for the friend to work on her issues in a healthy way (such as going to a therapist, going to a group, participating in new activities and meeting new people, etc.) and for the married person to try to spend time with her friend/show the friend that she still cares and hasn't just tossed her out because something better came along--to find a happy medium between responsibilities being met and having time for people.

IP: Logged

taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake

Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 25, 2012 08:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurusvirgoleolady1974     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
here is our synastry; she is red/outside:

IP: Logged

taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake

Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 25, 2012 08:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurusvirgoleolady1974     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
RegardesPlatero
"How would you feel?"

I have already been there done that 10x over. Try being told by someone who you have known decades "lose my number" becuase you cant pick them up from work. (I, still not over that after 2 years).
Try "i just dont have time for you." and wont even wave to you.
I am a very loyal Taurus, who takes people back over and over, probably due to my pisces venus 7th house.

I have done my best to make her feel included, but it must not be enough. It doesnt give her the right to make rude comments and badmouth me...sorry.

I only had 3 friends. those were 2. she was my "last" and now this.
THe other people i was referring to was my godmother and her sister. they never pick up when i call, but why are they putting the guilt trip on me??

It is lonely being married! the only one have to talk to is my husband who has an aqua moon; need I say more? I have bonded more with my older kids, ages 19 and 14, but i need girlfriend time.
thank you everyone...i really appreciate the feedback.

IP: Logged

hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 25, 2012 12:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by taurusvirgoleolady1974:

I have done my best to make her feel included, but it must not be enough. It doesnt give her the right to make rude comments and badmouth me...sorry.


Exactly.

IP: Logged

popcorn
Knowflake

Posts: 2868
From:
Registered: Aug 2009

posted June 25, 2012 01:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for popcorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe you also help her if you leave her for a while before you do or say things you not mean...Its better to leave for a while like friends

Go out and meet new friends you too. New hobbies. Ive much in house 11 and need many friends. I try to listening on my feelings and when I feel like you about someone I leave for a while and meet other friends.. Maybe I come back later( just maybe,,,sometimes I felt its over).

I dont like necessity in a relationship between friends or anyone. We meet people we like and have fun togheter with.

IP: Logged

Lonake
Moderator

Posts: 8171
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 26, 2012 06:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by taurusvirgoleolady1974:
here is our synastry; she is red/outside

She has Sun opp Pluto which can be really domineering, afraid their needs won't be met so they have to force their will on others to be the one on top, the one winning and in control. If she said she feels a lot of pain from being abandoned you can believe it with this one. Then the opp is sq to Jup which exaggerates the issue, when used negatively likely she's doing this for attn to seem like she's someone to be recognized, that she won't be set aside like trash, add to that Sun conj ASC in the 1st. So we're dealing with power plays here. And the thing is, she might not be this way with someone else, she might be controlling it better with others, but you're plugging in your Mars/Saturn conj and turning it into a grand cross. And on top of that, transiting Uranus in Aries is coming off of her Sun, damn, and Pluto is coming off from squaring it too. Gotta say the Pluto squaring her Sun was probably a horrid transit, she could have been going through a lot of loss, maybe even suicidal. Natal Sun opp Pluto is one marker for being self destructive. Her Mars/Saturn/Neptune could have put her in situations where she had been victimized or weak and helpless, maybe due to health concerns. Her natal Merc/Uranus will be the next hit by the Uranus/Pluto sq, if she's already unbalanced it's not gonna help. She has Pluto right on the DSC, doesn't help at all since this is the energy she's meeting people with one-on-one. This might be a habitual thing too since Sun rules the 6th. Her power is in relationships, forcing her will on others to get them to comply, so don't play her game. Your own Pluto is in the 2nd and it's thwarted by sq to Mars/Saturn, you could be more powerful if you got your energies together and operated from a united front instead of seeking security outside of yourself.

t.Mars enters Libra on July 3rd, fyi.

And fwiw I personally hate Sun sq Mars, v.annoying

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 3196
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted June 26, 2012 07:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by taurusvirgoleolady1974:
RegardesPlatero
"How would you feel?"

I have already been there done that 10x over. Try being told by someone who you have known decades "lose my number" becuase you cant pick them up from work. (I, still not over that after 2 years).
Try "i just dont have time for you." and wont even wave to you.
I am a very loyal Taurus, who takes people back over and over, probably due to my pisces venus 7th house.

I have done my best to make her feel included, but it must not be enough. It doesnt give her the right to make rude comments and badmouth me...sorry.

I only had 3 friends. those were 2. she was my "last" and now this.
THe other people i was referring to was my godmother and her sister. they never pick up when i call, but why are they putting the guilt trip on me??

It is lonely being married! the only one have to talk to is my husband who has an aqua moon; need I say more? I have bonded more with my older kids, ages 19 and 14, but i need girlfriend time.
thank you everyone...i really appreciate the feedback.



As I said, I honestly wasn't trying to be mean. And, as I also said, I really do think that they need to handle their feelings better. They have the right to have those feelings, but they should be managed better.

Have you guys sat down and had a big talk about all of this? Just really opened up?

I did not mean to imply that you were disloyal. It is fairly normal for people to get wrapped up in things like marriage and kids. I'm not saying that you are a bad person for that. I'm just saying that sometimes other people can feel left behind, and since I've been ditched for boyfriends (whenever a friend gets a new boyfriend, they go missing for weeks and sometimes months at a time, never having time for me at all), I know how that feels. And I have Venus in Scorpio: I can't do a half-hearted friendship. I find it empty and meaningless; it does not satisfy me. It's like being forced to eat bland, flavorless, unsatisfying rice cakes when you'd really just like a small piece of real, satisfying, delicious chocolate.

While you might not be intentionally disloyal, it might feel like that to them, even if you are not meaning it that way. They might feel betrayed or abandoned. I personally often feel a version of that--I don't know what to call it exactly--when I get ditched for a boyfriend. It feels like being discarded or else traded in, like one would trade in a car. It's very frustrating when you've been there for someone for years and some man comes along and then all of a sudden, you almost never see that person. The closeness and connection get lost. I'm lucky if I hear two sentences from some coupled people every few months--some haven't bothered to see me in years. I've experienced that feeling. I myself admit that I can be guilty of getting catty when I feel excluded or tossed aside, which is something that I want to work on. It does upset me a lot when I'm tossed aside and exist only when other people feel like it. At this point, though, I try to use those times to distract myself or start looking for other people who actually do value me and who actively participate in the friendship. I can't be in a friendship by myself; no one can. Both sides have to make the effort to keep things going. I can't feel connected to people if they are unresponsive or never want to do anything/talk to me. I understand that people have their own lives, but if people don't touch base with me now and then, I honestly start feeling like I only matter and exist when they feel like it and like I am being used.

Again, I'm not saying that it's deliberate or anything on your part--I'm just trying to point out what it might seem like from their side. And, again, I'll reiterate: they should handle those feelings in a better way.

I really think that if these friends are close, you guys should at least try to talk it out. Maybe setting some clear boundaries, as well as giving them a chance to say their peace without judgment, might really help out. It will be hard, but an honest, open, very frank and blunt discussion with boundaries set/expectations made clear might really be the only way to resolve this issue, if it can be resolved.

Lastly, again, I was not trying to make you out to be a bad person. I was trying to show the other side/point out the other perspective. They have to meet you halfway, too. Both sides have to work together for a resolution--not just you, and not just them.

IP: Logged

taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake

Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 26, 2012 08:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurusvirgoleolady1974     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
lonake***pretty much everything you have described is spot on. you are awesome at reading charts.
quote:
If she said she feels a lot of pain from being abandoned you can believe it with this one. Then the opp is sq to Jup which exaggerates the issue, when used negatively likely she's doing this for attn to seem like she's someone to be recognized, that she won't be set aside like trash, add to that Sun conj ASC in the 1st. So we're dealing with power plays here

her father left and went to another state to find work but never came back. he remarried and raised another daughter(daddys girl), but never established a relationship with her. on top of that, ignored by her dads family, who remained i the same town. but her brother was doted upon by them bc they all thought he was going to be a pro football player.

She also attracts dramatic men, whom will not be with her formally and play games. one got married last year. she had all his personal info and had his lights turned off. this was actually before he got married. he played many mind games with her, and it went over her head Pisces asc)
Another guy who was supposedly avaiable was a lifelong con artist, whom she actually let put in an alarm system right under her bedroom window, whom she knew set the code. go figure. then he stole her credit card info. she had law enforcement take car of it, but she lured him back, and tried to kill him in a very indirect way. (she told me herself.)
THEN, her home was broken into a few months ago by one of her daughter's "friends".
Her outer image is definitely pisces. Everyone looks up to her and thinks she is a great role model. which is partially true, but i am slowly learning her other side, which is scary.

and, she also has a chronic health condition that she has to deal with the rest of her life...she almost died about ten years ago. and has been hospitalized several times, near death. i cant take when she gets sick because i absorb it all and it completely drains me. the pisces in me cant handle it. i get deeply depressed when she gets sick. but i have cleaned up behind her liek a baby a few times when she could not control her functions.

but yes it seems she is really throwing the games on me! she stood me up last weekend, we were supposed to go bowling. she never showed up and never called until we were on the way home. also, she doesnt always pick up her phone. but i always find myself explaining myself to her, but she doesnt do that for me.
i really love this lady!! :}

she is clearly a bitter woman and the thing is you will never see it...master at hiding her emotions, even from me.

RegardesPlatero

quote:
As I said, I honestly wasn't trying to be mean. And, as I also said, I really do think that they need to handle their feelings better. They have the right to have those feelings, but they should be managed better

i understood where you are coming from. but its more to this situation, esp since she seems to be trying to play games. its especially hard because she is the person i always went to for comfort, and now she is like a "frenemy" and i dont do those. its liek she is revealing her true self to me. who are you?

the thing is, i could say the same about her, but life happens. she stood me up the other weekend. etc...but why am i supposed to feel bad?

quote:
Have you guys sat down and had a big talk about all of this? Just really opened up?

We havent talked yet. we havent had time, but i cant wait. i have alot to get off. i dont know if and when.

IP: Logged

taurusvirgoleolady1974
Knowflake

Posts: 415
From: a previous life
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 26, 2012 08:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurusvirgoleolady1974     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i have repeatedly tried to explain THIS to her. all these limitations. a most exhausting year for me. should be rounding off here very soon. not asking for someone to read just take a quick glimpse! we both have alot on our plates. why am i the scapegoat?

IP: Logged

popcorn
Knowflake

Posts: 2868
From:
Registered: Aug 2009

posted June 27, 2012 04:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for popcorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Woow.... I wish you will be in an higher education. Its good to focus the live on important things and not at trouble situations and trouble people.

IP: Logged

RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 3196
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted June 27, 2012 07:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe I have been reading the situation wrong/interpreting it incorrectly. If so, I apologize. I had initially read it as you not having time for them after getting married/having kids, but maybe I got that wrong--or else maybe I didn't really realize just how far they were going or that they were ignoring you/not spending time with you, too. If that's the case, I owe you an apology.

If people are standing you up or blowing you off, that's really disrespectful of your time and is not OK. If they're doing that to get back at you, it's really petty.

I do think, though, that sitting down and talking about things is the only possible way that a positive resolution can come about. It is not going to be an easy conversation, or a pleasant one. You will have to hear (and say) really difficult things that you don't want to say or hear.

If I can throw a suggestion out there, perhaps going to a relationship counselor or some other kind of mediator with them might help. That way, the mediator/counselor can let everyone speak without being interrupted, can help everyone see each other's sides, and can try to help find a healthy solution. If things get out of hand, that person could help calm things down and bring things back under control.

I really hope that this can be worked out. Keep us posted!

IP: Logged

Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 33961
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted June 27, 2012 07:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cancer Mars
Very hard to take action, in your own behalf. Very hard to not feel guilty when you meet your own needs

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

IP: Logged


This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2012

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a