posted July 22, 2012 04:06 AM            

i don't invest myself in 'back ups' either. all i really want is companionship outside of a relationship. that is my only intention. something that i've learned about women is that they have these networks of support.. they have their girlfriends pick them up after a break up, etc. but when guys seek out other women (i say women because they usually offer a different perspective from mine) for emotional support, it is almost always assumed that there is something going on like they're not allowed to have networks of support. we feel alone with these emotions. suppress them because we don't know how to cope. a bitter cycle develops. there's a lack of perspective that further leads us to hurt our future relationships through self-destructive attitudes and habits.

i've been accused of cheating because of these reasons. it's incredibly frustrating.

posted March 05, 2013 08:55 AM            

I really can show emotion! But if I don't, it's for a reason. When I'm in love with someone, I feel painfully aware of my feelings and as if I have to try hard not to be painfully obvious. Like, Virgos are perfectionists and extremely detail-oriented, including about themselves; so I notice every little thing I do and say that might give me away. When I don't know if they're into me as well, I'm cautious to get a better idea if he feels the same way. If not, I prefer to just be friends and not bother him with it. He's already precious to me for being a good friend, I wouldn't want to mess that up. The famous analysing is mostly for that. Usually they don't know until I tell them. I try to keep my feelings in check by more talking and joking around him. I usually fall for men in my social circle, so they don't really think much of it.

I do want to impress them! Again, it's subtle. Like... I notice myself smiling and being in a much better mood when I'm around him, put in more effort to look good and especially neat, very quick to help and support him when he has a problem. I feel like I loosen up around him. A looot.

I'd like him to make the first move (I'm sooo shy with these things!), but if we've been dancing around each other for months, I usually do it myself. Or if a mutual friend has been pushing me for a while/I've noticed he might be interested im me.

My type is someone who is gentle, patient and understanding. I'm hard on myself and I want someone who can reassure me I'm fine the way I am. I'm a bit prone to depression and I need someone who will comfort me. Or talk me out of it if he's more of the brutal honesty. Someone who cares about making me feel better when I'm going through a rough time.

I love physical affection! Light touches when we're talking, a quick kiss when I see him, hugs, holding hands, anything that gives me the vibe someone really wants to be and be seen with me. I want to feel like we're a couple. It gives me this quiet pride. It's really important for me to keep doing things together as a couple.

And sexually, yes, when I'm in a steady relationship with someone I trust, I love letting go. Very open to experimenting. I'd love a really good, serious and mature talk about it, because I'm sure it'll come up later. I'd rather they talk to me if they have a problem with what happens in the bedroom.

Knowing when to be serious is extremely important to me. I'm not always going to be at my best and someone who jokes himself out of it when I'm feeling extremely insecure hurts. Bad. I've had plenty of people in my life avoiding me when I needed them the most, so I really don't want this in a relationship. If someone is awkward, please just say, "I don't know what to say" or "Sorry, I suck with these kinds of things." Anything better than pretending it never happened. (That feels to me as if you don't care.)

And I hate feeling used. After having tried to talk to him about it and it's gone on for too long, I'm just... done with it. I may even walk away without saying anything. If someone doesn't get it, nothing's stopping them from coming to me about it. When I have to interact with someone I'm mad at, I'll be polite. Sometimes I bring it up when we're alone, but if someone doesn't react, I'm even more hurt. Secretly I'm hoping for someone to apologize or at least ask why I suddenly bailed.

posted April 21, 2016 02:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreaming111:
Cheating is not the physical cheating here it's more like this.

1. Venus virgo(VV) falls for person.
2. Person cares for VV; VV cares for person.
3. VV does things that person does not llike, but person lets it slide. VV however does not let anything slide.

4. VV begins to ponder all the defects in the relationship, in their love, in the person's love, in the relationship's love, in the dog's love, in the cat's love...lol.
VV goes over the reasons for being in this relationship or any relationship atm. VV wonders if he/she even wants to be here. VV worries if he/she is missing out on a better option. VV gets confused... :P

5. VV becomes distant and watches the other person like a hawk and a ceo. VV is not as affectionate. The other person now develops doubts... What's going on here?

6. Other person asks VV what's going on. VV says, "Oh nothing." Other person is put on a defensive.

7. Both start doubting each other and self.

8 VV finds a friend on facebook or a friend added from a dating site a LOOONG time ago to vent with. To VV, this is not cheating yet. They are only talking. VV and new friend start chatting late, helping each other cope etc.

9 Other person feels left out and starts suspecting something. Other person feels let down and betrayed. There is no communication here. And the person VV should have been communicating with is not being told a thing. Yet the person, VV should not be chatting, is the person VV spends more time with.

10. Other person realizes this and gets upset. VV dislikes this because it's not perfection. The other person says, " Go Flip your perfection." VV gets offended! Yes....VV gets offended.

11. Other person feels hurt, betrayed and misunderstood. VV can't understand how the other person expresses emotions in such a manner. Oh my, being human is imperfect....tsk tsk.

12. VV decides that the other person is not worth it, but won't break up just yet. VV is waiting for the other person to rectify their mistake since it's all the otehr person's fault. VV starts talking to the friend on fb....

13. VV emotionally distances themselves from the other person.

14. VV then moves on to the next person because hte first just was't a good match and didn't understand things.

That's how they cheat. It's very subtle, never makes sense, you could not concretely call that cheating but it sure is in my book.
Also it's not too intelligent to behave like this because the same story repeats itself. Always.

---

posted April 22, 2016 05:32 AM            

I don't cheat, and never have. in fact, I am the one who sticks to their guns until the end, while the dude flees to greener grass with the notion that I'm not putting in the lion's share of effort...

Yes, I notice imperfection straight away. It's going to happen because I am used to catching every detail I can gather up to process. I also have Merc/Mars in Virgo, in the detective-oriented 8th house.

I am concerned about details, though not as much for myself, but for you. I am going to be "picky" because I know what kind of damage it can cause if repeated over time. Self sacrifice is Virgo's M.O. so if I speak up to you, it's because I don't want to see my lover get caught with his pants down

I feel like we are constantly shut down because of this habit, even though 9/10 we are doing it to improve your quality of life.

posted April 22, 2016 09:28 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreaming111:
Cheating is not the physical cheating here it's more like this.

1. Venus virgo(VV) falls for person.
2. Person cares for VV; VV cares for person.
3. VV does things that person does not llike, but person lets it slide. VV however does not let anything slide.

4. VV begins to ponder all the defects in the relationship, in their love, in the person's love, in the relationship's love, in the dog's love, in the cat's love...lol.
VV goes over the reasons for being in this relationship or any relationship atm. VV wonders if he/she even wants to be here. VV worries if he/she is missing out on a better option. VV gets confused... :P

5. VV becomes distant and watches the other person like a hawk and a ceo. VV is not as affectionate. The other person now develops doubts... What's going on here?

6. Other person asks VV what's going on. VV says, "Oh nothing." Other person is put on a defensive.

7. Both start doubting each other and self.

8 VV finds a friend on facebook or a friend added from a dating site a LOOONG time ago to vent with. To VV, this is not cheating yet. They are only talking. VV and new friend start chatting late, helping each other cope etc.

9 Other person feels left out and starts suspecting something. Other person feels let down and betrayed. There is no communication here. And the person VV should have been communicating with is not being told a thing. Yet the person, VV should not be chatting, is the person VV spends more time with.

10. Other person realizes this and gets upset. VV dislikes this because it's not perfection. The other person says, " Go Flip your perfection." VV gets offended! Yes....VV gets offended.

11. Other person feels hurt, betrayed and misunderstood. VV can't understand how the other person expresses emotions in such a manner. Oh my, being human is imperfect....tsk tsk.

12. VV decides that the other person is not worth it, but won't break up just yet. VV is waiting for the other person to rectify their mistake since it's all the otehr person's fault. VV starts talking to the friend on fb....

13. VV emotionally distances themselves from the other person.

14. VV then moves on to the next person because hte first just was't a good match and didn't understand things.

That's how they cheat. It's very subtle, never makes sense, you could not concretely call that cheating but it sure is in my book.
Also it's not too intelligent to behave like this because the same story repeats itself. Always.

---

This describes pretty well how my relationship went downhill wtih a Virgo Venus square Neptune guy, who is Scorpio Sun and Mercury, Cancer Moon and Saggy Mars.

Either he played the martyr or i was blamed for everything. Near the end lots of games and manipulation from his side, then came the revenge (or perhaps i was simply being used while it could last) then i was dumped like it was nothing, severely criticised about ridiculous things, most of which held little truth to them. All while he was admiring (through commenting often) another girl on his FB.

Ooh i need full recovery