posted July 18, 2012 08:53 AM
I found the following funny.Have a laugh. lolSteve Kinsman
steve@astronewsonline.com
I had apprenticed to Madame Lecunier for the past two years. She holds the title of Grand Vizier of the Astrological Arts, which she shares with but twelve others around the entire world. Tonight I was knocking on her door well aware that she was going to put me through my final test – and if I passed – that hoary title would also be conferred upon me. “Come in, my son,” she greeted me, and led me into her drawing room. “This is your assignment. Take it and go, and return here promptly at nine-thirty to complete your task.”
I walked out the door and opened the folded piece of paper on which she had written my assignment. It read: You will arrive at a soiree to be held at 9 Rue de La Salle promptly at seven this evening. There will be twelve guests there in addition to you. Each of the guests is a native of one of the signs of the zodiac. Your task is to successfully determine each and every one of the guest’s zodiacal sign. A single mistake will mean that you fail your test. Good luck.
I rang the bell at 9 Rue de la Salle at seven sharp as I was instructed and the hostess for the evening, Michelle, opened the door and greeted me warmly in a slow, soft voice. She was dressed in a long flowing gown and her movements were slow and sensual. She was tastefully and beautifully bejeweled - adorned in a diamond necklace, jade earrings, and multiple bracelets circled her wrists. As she led me in, lightly touching my arm, Michelle was humming a tune, and I noticed what a nice musical voice she possessed and I complimented her on it. She then mentioned she was a cabaret singer.
Michelle introduced me to Paul and remarked that he had just arrived back from a trip to the Orient. As I chatted with Paul I learned that as a boy he had read Richard Halliburton’s Book of Marvels, where the author chronicled his travels to far away places and exotic destinations, and that in reading that book he had been bitten with the abiding urge to one day travel the world. Paul had become a millionaire in his twenties riding the dot.com boom and now was free to pursue his childhood dream. He had run the rapids on a dinghy in the Grand Canyon, made a pilgrimage to Macchu Pichu, climbed Kilimanjaro and had sky-dived from airplanes on several occasions. True to his life style, Paul had an unmistakable swashbuckling air about himself.
I turned as the front door flew open and in pranced Lila, a half-hour late, pirouetting round two or three times as she loudly announced “I’m here everybody! Don’t you just love my outfit? It’s a genuine Versace! Sorry I’m late. Gerry and I had a bit of a set-to and it got rather dramatic. He needs to be reminded every once in a while what a catch he has in me.” Then she laughed uproariously at her self-perceived humor.
was then introduced to Henry, who engaged me in small talk for a moment until he spied Grace. “Look at that exquisite woman,” he exclaimed. He said he’d “catch me later” and made a beeline toward the corner of the room where Grace was sitting. I had to admit to myself that Grace was indeed very arresting. Without a doubt she was the most beautiful woman at the gathering. She was dressed all in black, had long, wavy dark brown hair and intense blue eyes. She had an air of impenetrability, but that didn’t stop Henry. “Mind if I sit with you for a few moments?” he asked, and Grace gave him an enigmatic and somewhat quizzical if not suspicious look. He took a seat anyway and went right to work. “I’m dumbstruck,” he said. “You are so very beautiful. You take my breath away! I was wondering if I could perhaps call you for dinner one evening?”
“Not likely,” Grace replied, cold as ice. She rose from her chair, slowly turned her back to Henry, and walked away.
Henry came over to me and said “I guess I blew that one. I don’t know. Maybe I should apologize. What do you think? I don’t know. Maybe I should leave well enough alone.”
Henry looked miserable, and I left him as he pondered his alternatives.
At dinner I was seated next to Mary Lou, who I discovered was never at a loss for words. She was engaging and interesting, however, and I enjoyed hearing her talk about a great variety of subjects which interested her. Her hands and arms were in constant motion as she talked. She possessed an eternally youthful quality and seemed genuinely interested in whatever anyone else had to say.
Jeannine was seated on the other side of me, and I found her soft, gentle nature very appealing. She told me she had owned a four-star restaurant but had sold it recently to be able to spend more time caring for her elderly mother. She was also home-schooling her youngest daughter, and she remarked that having her daughter around the house more of the time made her very happy. Within ten minutes of our meeting she opened her purse and began showing me family pictures. Not only did she have three or four photos of each of her three kids, she also displayed pictures of her sister, her two brothers, her mom and dad, and a couple of her cousins.
When Esteban, a tall, slim, dashing figure of a man who projected an air of great self-assurance, heard Jeanine mention she was a home-schooler, he quickly joined the conversation. “We home-schooled our three children, way back in the seventies before almost anyone else was doing it. In fact, they all went on to Ivy League schools. I founded the first home school cooperative in Nevada County in 1978. We pioneered the concept of “unschooling,” where the child is allowed to learn whatever is of interest at any given time. No structure. No schedules. No timetables. I published one of the first books about home schooling, even before John Holt wrote Teach Your Own, the definitive work on the subject.”
A somewhat troubled frown came over Jack’s face when he heard what Esteban was saying. “I’m not so certain that’s the way to go, if you were to ask me,” he said. “Children need discipline, and they need to be brought under some kind of control. I think they need to learn the responsibility of keeping a schedule, and they need to be trained to become good citizens. We need to support the public school system, our existing institutions, and do what we can to make them better.”
Before dinner I had noticed Barbara Lee moving along the sides of the drawing room, straightening every picture and photograph hanging on the walls which might be the slightest bit askew. She would nudge each one with her right index finger, stand back to determine whether it was perfectly straight, nod to herself, and then move on to the next one. At dinner I learned that she was a body worker and acupuncturist, that she was a vegetarian, and she also wrote a column as a film critic for a weekly newspaper in the county where she resided.
Timothy was at the end of the table, regaling Jasmine with off-color jokes interspersed with startling, eccentric comments. He was an inventor who had obtained at least a couple of dozen patents. His latest, he was explaining to Jasmine, was a remote controlled potato peeler. “You pour the potatoes into this triangular shaped funnel/pan. Then they fall through this rotating shaft which strips off their skin, and they fall into a basket below, completely and perfectly peeled.”
“Wow, that’s just amazing,” exclaimed Betty Lou, who soon changed the subject to matters spiritual. “I need to meditate every day to stay on an even keel,” she said, to which Timothy replied, “Well, I must say, as a quantum physicist I can tell you that the unified field, or string theory, postulates we all individually create the world. Reality is whatever we perceive it to be, because the perceiver always affects the outcome of any event he or she participates in or observes.”
“I don’t know about all that scientific stuff,” Betty Lou responded, “I just know we’re all connected. We’re all one. I can just feel it. I don’t know how I know it. I just know it. Michelle, my dear, would you be so kind as to pour me another glass of wine?”
At nine I thanked my hostess, bid adieu to all of the guests, and hurried back to Mme. Lucunier’s, confident that I would pass her test.
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Can you guess each one's Sun sign?
Lindaland
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posted July 18, 2012 08:53 AM
posted July 18, 2012 01:34 PM
I guess us Gemini gurls think a like! 
posted July 19, 2012 03:35 PM