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Author Topic:   So confused...
hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 1994
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted August 01, 2012 08:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Junethird:
5= changes

Stay strong

Let me know if you want to email.


I think I need to e-mail very much, this is so confusing, etc. for me to go through. You have my e-mail right?

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Junethird
Knowflake

Posts: 2027
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted August 01, 2012 08:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Junethird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No i dont... Its not on your profile either

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RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake

Posts: 4615
From:
Registered: Oct 2010

posted August 01, 2012 09:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lalalinda:
He's going through a heavy Saturn transit with his Ascendant. (lessons)

Hanna, that's your dad Sweetheart not your husband so he didn't cheat on you. This is not an issue you should be involved in.
(even though it does affect you)

Sex does not mean the same thing to a man that it does to a woman. We associate it with love and commitment but most men look at it as just a bit of fun. This could be his mid life crisis where he is questioning his mortality. A fling is an insensitive way to build themselves up but men don't always think with the head on their shoulders.

Right now he's full of regret and wants back into the family fold. Put a little love in your heart and let him in, discuss it and then drop it.

Men are human too, even Dads.

Wishing you and yours the best.


no excuse in my opinion. i have kind of an inner hatred of guys bc of this. i dont care, there's no excuse. you can be a s l u t whether male or female.

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hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 1994
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted August 01, 2012 09:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
no excuse in my opinion. i have kind of an inner hatred of guys bc of this. i dont care, there's no excuse. you can be a s l u t whether male or female.

I AGREE. That's what I keep telling my mom. She has Mercury in Pisces though, and the little fact she's only ever been with this man for 32 years. She has no educational background (she didn't graduate college) no resume for the past 15 years. It's a tight spot for her, and I feel bad.

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RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 3439
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted August 02, 2012 04:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
no excuse in my opinion. i have kind of an inner hatred of guys bc of this. i dont care, there's no excuse. you can be a s l u t whether male or female.

I have to agree on this one.

Whether he's your father or not, you're under no obligation to take him back, and neither is your mother. He's proven that he cannot be trusted, at least not as he is now. If he is a toxic presence in your life and will only continue to hurt you, you can love him from a distance without letting him into your life. Sometimes, even when someone is family, you have to give yourself space to protect yourself, and that may be the case here--only you can answer that after careful reflection.

I think, too, that his lack of consideration for you and your mother's feelings is also very telling. If he were really sorry, why would he tell you guys anything about the other woman (the main one)? Wouldn't he feel ashamed and not want to talk about her? Why does he try to defend her personality/show she's a good person if he's really that sorry? Obviously, he cares about her in some way, even if the affair is over. It might not be romantic anymore, but if he's going out of his way to show she's a good person, she must have meant something to him.

Yes, maybe your father is hurting in some way, but it does not excuse his behavior. He chose the wrong way to handle it, and he's trying to use his hurt as a rationalization.

You can't make your mother's choices for her, but you can tell her how you feel, let her tell you how she feels, and just really hold onto each other right now and support each other. And even if she chooses to go back to your dad, it's OK if you don't. That decision is up to you.

Also, congrats to your mom on her weight loss! That took a lot of hard work and dedication. Hoping that she will be happy and healthy as she moves forward.

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