posted August 02, 2012 04:34 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
no excuse in my opinion. i have kind of an inner hatred of guys bc of this. i dont care, there's no excuse. you can be a s l u t whether male or female.
I have to agree on this one.
Whether he's your father or not, you're under no obligation to take him back, and neither is your mother. He's proven that he cannot be trusted, at least not as he is now. If he is a toxic presence in your life and will only continue to hurt you, you can love him from a distance without letting him into your life. Sometimes, even when someone is family, you have to give yourself space to protect yourself, and that may be the case here--only you can answer that after careful reflection.
I think, too, that his lack of consideration for you and your mother's feelings is also very telling. If he were really sorry, why would he tell you guys anything about the other woman (the main one)? Wouldn't he feel ashamed and not want to talk about her? Why does he try to defend her personality/show she's a good person if he's really that sorry? Obviously, he cares about her in some way, even if the affair is over. It might not be romantic anymore, but if he's going out of his way to show she's a good person, she must have meant something to him.
Yes, maybe your father is hurting in some way, but it does not excuse his behavior. He chose the wrong way to handle it, and he's trying to use his hurt as a rationalization.
You can't make your mother's choices for her, but you can tell her how you feel, let her tell you how she feels, and just really hold onto each other right now and support each other. And even if she chooses to go back to your dad, it's OK if you don't. That decision is up to you.
Also, congrats to your mom on her weight loss! That took a lot of hard work and dedication. Hoping that she will be happy and healthy as she moves forward.