posted August 17, 2012 04:11 PM            

I am more conscious of my words now, how viciously I can strike back when hurt, how my "brutal honesty" used to veer dangerously close to verbal abuse when I was younger. I don't want to be someone just spewing venom all the time. Sometimes, Plutonians can believe this is just being "truthful" but it doesn't always have to be so ugly. People do have feelings and I experienced growing up just how badly words can hurt. And I think a lot of that behavior was my own hurt coming out.

HOWEVER, I also know that, no matter how much I evolve, I'll always be a very intense person and that is something that will make many people uncomfortable. There's not much I can do about it. I have good friendships but I've never exactly been Mr. Popular because of how my Plutonian energies can make people squirm or feel exposed or unsettled. But, I've come to terms with that. I have to be who I am and what matters most is that I like myself.

So, it's really a balance of holding back on occasion, when it's appropriate, yet not repressing or denying my true self either. Energy can never be destroyed, only transformed. So all that highly charged intensity is either going to be repressed and manifest negatively or it can be channeled positively.

I've developed a few visualizations and mental tricks to release all my dark energy without necessarily hurting others. I take all that destructive energy out on obstacles, challenges, anything standing in the way of my goals. I'm "violent" toward my obstacles, if that makes sense. That way I can preserve the creative, healing part of my energy to find happiness and really express myself. Plus, I also accept the fact that I do have that stinger that comes out from time to time. It doesn't mean I'm evil. I'm just very human and have a higher awareness of my shadow side.

posted August 17, 2012 04:28 PM            

You tell me T

posted August 17, 2012 04:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
....does this mean anything to other Plutonians, Scorpios, or heavy 8th housers?

Do you find yourself having to do this in order not to hurt people...? - restrain yourself because you know it would kill them (emotionally, I mean)? Even when they are being malicious and hurtful towards you? Are you able to hold yourself back?

Do you rise above and not sink to their level? Do you find it easy to do, ever have a problem with it, something you grew into, or were born doing naturally? Do you find you take more care with others feelings than your own?

All kinds of answers welcome.

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Yes, I can relate and understand what you're saying. What we're talking about is the restraint of an overwhelming feeling that comes from an ongoing imbalance within ourselves. Restraint of this is the only proper thing that one is left with when there is no other immediate approach to bringing true balance.

Read the myth of Pluto, essentially "The Rape of Persephone" as illustrated in mythological art. Pluto, god of the underworld (unconscious) kidnapped Persephone for his Queen. Her family missed her and eventually Pluto had to work out a compromise between having her as his Queen and letting her go to be with her family. This speaks to how acting upon such power drives to dominate creates an imbalance that must eventually be worked out by all parties involved, including those that you ignored who were peripheral but still important in the situation.

Ultimately it relates to boundaries - particularly psychological/energetic boundaries - so that others' choices don't annoy, bother or irritate you or intrude upon your personal space. Posture and words are key: we invite rather than dictate; we deflect or simply ignore rather than overreact. This is a healthy balance.

The big question is what does it actually take for each of us to get to that balance? It is an individual matter, but I know that when our personal energy is in balance this is how we will behave. Balance your energy and you balance your power. No power plays are then needed. The effect is of taking away the trigger buttons to our unconscious 'dark' spots from the reach of those around us.

It is an ongoing life challenge.

posted August 17, 2012 05:15 PM            

I have Mars in Cap, with 12H cusp in Cap as well. Saturn and Jupiter conjunct both work well together to rein in the worst of things. My only issue comes when I have already opened up in a relationship, due to my natal Venus-Chiron opposition. Otherwise, I am able to harness the "secretive" aspect of Pluto to keep the volatile energy in check.

I have no hard aspects to Pluto, aside from the Moon-Pluto conjunction. I think a large part of it also has to do with the fact I am Sagittarian, and thus a lot of things slide right off my back. If I hurt someone, it's usually more of a Sagittarian flub than a vindictive Plutonian swipe.

posted August 18, 2012 12:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I don't hold it back... which is probably why I'm always running around screaming ...at everyone on the forum. -___-

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posted August 19, 2012 05:45 AM            

quote:

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I've developed a few visualizations and mental tricks to release all my dark energy without necessarily hurting others. I take all that destructive energy out on obstacles, challenges, anything standing in the way of my goals. I'm "violent" toward my obstacles, if that makes sense.

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Interesting.
If it's possible can you elaborate a bit on this... ? (or someone else familiar with it)

posted August 19, 2012 09:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
....does this mean anything to other Plutonians, Scorpios, or heavy 8th housers?

Do you find yourself having to do this in order not to hurt people...? - restrain yourself because you know it would kill them (emotionally, I mean)? Even when they are being malicious and hurtful towards you? Are you able to hold yourself back?

Do you rise above and not sink to their level? Do you find it easy to do, ever have a problem with it, something you grew into, or were born doing naturally? Do you find you take more care with others feelings than your own?

All kinds of answers welcome.

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