posted August 30, 2012 10:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by the89freespirit:
Aww, RegardesPlatero, I hate to hear someone saying things like that. Mostly because I know exactly how you feel in many ways. I'm a fellow Water Moon and life isn't so easy for us sometimes because how deeply we feel and are affected by things.

I think a lot of what you're feeling is a matter of perspective. Don't let people's opinions define you. Easier said than done, I know, cause we all do care to some degree what people think. But, understand that we're all socialized into thinking certain behaviors/personality traits/reactions are "normal" and "abnormal". This usually includes emotional intensity, which is a bit threatening or unsettling to some, since we're taught to be reasonable, to lighten up, to have fun, etc. But it doesn't mean you're psycho or a drama queen or whatever else you may be called. People's reactions to you say way more about themselves than you. So that just means that some people just can't process your way of being, which can be lonely and frustrating, but it's NOT the end of the world.

And sure, there are some downsides to all that emotion: the moodiness, being easily hurt, etc. But, there are positive aspects, too. You experience life in a rich, profound, and beautiful way that many others couldn't even comprehend or tap into. I've also read studies that emotional intensity is linked to giftedness and high intelligence. The more complex your mind is, the more complex your emotional nature is, because they are two connected entities, despite what we are often taught. So you're probably very smart, perceptive, and insightful. Also, all that feeling gives you a compassion and empathy for others that can make you a truly invaluable friend and partner.

And you're not alone. You're not the only person who experiences life that way or feels so misunderstood or outcasted. It doesn't make you a freak. It makes you special so celebrate it. Hope that helps.

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What you say about being socialized and conditioned to "lighten up and have fun" rings very true for me.

I do think that people find emotions uncomfortable and unsettling, and this is where I'm inclined in personal relationships (not referring to romantic ones, but to non-romantic ones) to back away and retreat. When I am expressive, and people do not respond to me, it sends the message to me that I am creepy and I should avoid people because I make them uncomfortable. It sends the message that I am not OK as I am, and that my natural way of being--expressive and in-tune emotionally--is unacceptable. It then makes me feel really ashamed and self-conscious. After that, I start to feel angry and resentful, because I am tired of having to please everyone. I'm tired of not being good enough--no matter how much I try not to talk or not express myself, it's still not good enough to not creep people out. That frustrates me. I can't help but be aggravated that I don't understand what other people's standards are, and therefore also do not understand how to meet their demands. The only way that I know how to do that is to just avoid them altogether and give them the silent treatment. I can't annoy them if I don't do what they consider annoying--talking a lot. That's my mentality and that's how I start to think. At that point, I start feeling everything all at once: anger, sadness, resentment, self-consciousness, shame, and frustration over not being able to fix myself or be good enough.

I do wish that people would be more forgiving of emotions. Now, yes, it is important to be appropriate and not let emotions get out of control, but, at the same time, being non-expressive all of the time isn't healthy, either. Finding a good balance is important. Being a Libra, balance is something that I value, and I feel frustrated that I haven't been able to achieve in this instance. I feel even more frustrated that I don't know how to get there. How to hit that magic number/point where I express enough to satisfy my need for expression, and hold back enough for people to be responsive in a positive way. That's what I have to figure out. And of course it varies from person to person, so that complicates things.