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Author Topic:   My awful relationship: FINALLY OVER, I'M FREE!!!
sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 14, 2012 11:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, so sometimes on personal readings I'd post requests for how to end this way tumultuous yet I'm-sucked-in sort of relationship with Mr. Leo. From the start it's been a sort of rocky but passionate kind of thing, with a lot of moodiness but some good times as well. But we've always been really different from each other and ever since that Pluto sq. Venus and Uranus opp. Venus transit a little bit ago it's all gotten worse.

Tonight, ironically around the same exact time I predicted this would happen last month, I finally initiated a break up. The Scorpio Moon eclipse conjuncted my Venus yesterday and today, and Pluto and the transiting Sun will be conjunct soon as well. Around this time every year, with Pluto-Sun in my natal chart, I find a major event occurs. Hence how I predicted it ahead of time.

So, we finally broke it off - I said, we're just too different...he doesn't show me enough attention to be regular and doesn't have the courtesy to take me on a nice date more... And I'm SICK AND TIRED of how he had such a freakin low libido! It was absolutely insulting how so frequently he'd turn me away from some dumb excuse or seem reluctant to even be affectionate. (Surprise surprise, we have Saturn-Venus and Mars-Saturn in comp/synastry... doomed from the start).

But beautifully enough, I don't feel depressed. I feel FREE. Before I felt chained to him from guilt and like I needed to get out there and see who else existed, but I feared change. Now I amazingly don't. So I just wanted to give this liberating shout out to all who helped me out in personal readings, and to anybody who's going through something similar. Even if it seems a bit saddening, when the guy is just a dead beat through and through, you WILL reach a time, somehow, to end it. Mine just happened to be around the New Moon's eclipse.

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Lonake
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posted November 15, 2012 12:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Haha, low libidos of the world be damned! Good on ya

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asclibrasagsun
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posted November 15, 2012 12:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for asclibrasagsun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am so happy for you!
It sounds exciting.

In synastry you said you had a venus saturn contact - what was it?

Who was venus who was saturn?

I am asking bc I have this with someone too and I am just curious who experiences what emotions

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted November 15, 2012 05:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
post the compoooosite

i have to see the composite of this terrible relationship

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depth
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posted November 15, 2012 05:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for depth     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This cracked me up! AHahahah....COngratulation!

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Astro keen
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posted November 15, 2012 06:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astro keen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good for you. But something you said rang alarm bells -your mention of Mars/Saturn and Venus/Saturn aspects -

We have Mars sextile Saturn and Saturn (me) sextile Venus in synastry. Should I be concerned? There's no shortage of libido here, but we're relatively new to one another.

Has anybody else have Saturn aspects which they could report?

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Aquacheeka
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From: Toronto
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posted November 15, 2012 07:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Congrats!

I'm so happy for you! I was in an identical-sounding relationship and I had a lot more trouble breaking it off. Your story inspires me!

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 15, 2012 08:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Congrats!

I'm so happy for you! I was in an identical-sounding relationship and I had a lot more trouble breaking it off. Your story inspires me!


Thank you

But trust me... this was very hard for me to break off as well. I've had SO many instances where I wanted to but the exact Moon-Pluto conjunction and Moon-Mars conjunction between us kept me glued there, not to mention my Saturn in his 7th which also induced guilt.

I just feel thankful for the new Moon. It really helped me out and made my stubborn Scorpio Venus let go, and stop resisting change. Now I know somewhere out there in the next few months I can definitely meet someone who will a, be more attractive, b, treat me better, and c, actually want to treat me like a lady and date me!

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 15, 2012 08:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by depth:
This cracked me up! AHahahah....COngratulation!

Lol thanks. It's kinda funny in a way but not at the same time. Like at some times it's like a bad Lifetime melodrama but then at others it's genuinely pretty depressing. But I don't have any regrets.

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 15, 2012 08:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Astro keen:
Good for you. But something you said rang alarm bells -your mention of Mars/Saturn and Venus/Saturn aspects -

We have Mars sextile Saturn and Saturn (me) sextile Venus in synastry. Should I be concerned? There's no shortage of libido here, but we're relatively new to one another.

Has anybody else have Saturn aspects which they could report?


Sorry I scared you. Not everyone with those aspects is doomed to failure. I wrote this so late I forgot to mention that we had some seriously tight orbs with HARD aspects not soft/positive ones. Like 2-degree orbs with both Mars opposition Saturn and Saturn opposition Venus.

Not to mention in composite we had 11th house Sun quincunx Saturn in the 4th which showed how we were probably better off as friends and we couldn't get serious [Saturn], and how Venus-Merc-Jupiter all fell in the 12th. Venus in the 12th composite is very difficult and I feel this also contributed to the break up. I hated how he seemed so secretive about us and IMMATURE about our relationship. He wouldn't even tell his parents.

I see a way more positive light for you two, since it's a soft sextile aspect and nothing with tension is present. It doesn't mean it'll be as happy go lucky as like, Mars trine Venus in synastry but Venus sextile Saturn can open doors to commitment without lack of affection, hopefully. In our case with the hard aspect we had that lack of affection, and with Mars-Saturn a really struggling sexual connection.

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 15, 2012 08:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
I am so happy for you!
It sounds exciting.

In synastry you said you had a venus saturn contact - what was it?

Who was venus who was saturn?

I am asking bc I have this with someone too and I am just curious who experiences what emotions


Thanks. It's going to be nice to get out there and socialize more soon. I really want to meet someone new and start fresh.

I was Saturn in Pisces in his 7th opposition his natal Venus-Merc Virgo conjunction in the 1st. It really was never gonna work out from the start for us. True to the aspect the two combined kept it secretive and unable to work out in the real world from our many home/personal differences, his disapproving parents, etc.

I always felt like I had to restructure him about what love and dating meant and sometimes he resisted me.

He was never affectionate or caring enough sometimes even though I was supposed to be like that as Saturn. But oddly enough it was him most of the time.

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 15, 2012 08:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
post the compoooosite

i have to see the composite of this terrible relationship


Here's the composite. H12 Venus made it all worse. Not to mention both Mars-Saturn opposition here AND in synastry. Moon sq. Neptune-Uranus I felt personally the most since his odd ways really made me emotionally insecure and it showed.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted November 15, 2012 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
More than anything, what I notice here, more than composite moon and venus being afflicted by neptune and uranus (because I don't usually pay much attention to those aspects, as they can usually be worked out with compromise) is composite mars being afflicted by pluto and saturn. To me that is deadly and what caused all your problems. Those two, and also the fact that there is nothing holding this composite together at all. The only rather nice enjoyable aspect you have is composite venus conjunct jupiter. There is no configuration here that makes you feel like you merge into one, like you are better together than you would be alone, and like you have a sense of purpose together. That and the mars afflictions is the root of the problem.

I bet the descriptions for the following two aspects feel right on the mark for your relationship with this guy, don't they? that's because they are important.

Composite Mars in hard aspect to Pluto (From astro.com)
The square of Mars and Pluto in a composite chart requires some care and consideration within a relationship. Ego forces run high between you, because something about your interaction makes you constantly challenge each other. Consequently this aspect can create the most intense competition between two people. When the energies of this aspect operate unconsciously within a relationship, they can lead to considerable violence. Obviously it is very important to be conscious of them.
The two of you have very different aims in life, and if you choose to get in each other's way, you will certainly succeed in doing so. You will be able to get along with each other only by recognizing that there is plenty of room in the world for each of you to do what you want. This aspect does not make for getting along easily and spontaneously; you have to make it happen.

---Alternate interpretation from Astro.com---
With the opposition of Mars and Pluto in the composite chart it will be difficult for the two of you to avoid conflict and power struggles in any kind of relationship. In extreme cases there could be physical violence.
The reasons for the extreme effects of this aspect are as follows. Mars has a great deal to do with the ego-drive, whereby one becomes a fully self-expressive individual. Pluto represents the energy of intense and fundamental transformations. When Mars and Pluto are opposed, this energy is combined inharmoniously with the ego-drives. Or to put it in less philosophical terms, a cosmic power is subjected to purely personal and selfish drives.
In order to deal with this energy constructively, it is necessary to reverse the roles of Pluto and Mars, so that the ego-drives are transformed by the cosmic power of Pluto. Unless you both do this, the experience will be very unpleasant. You must let this relationship change and transform you without resistance.


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Composite Mars in hard aspect to Saturn (From grupovenus.com)
In addition to whatever success this relationship holds, there will be considerable frustration as well. One or both of you feels that you cannot do what you want, or that you are constantly being checked, watched, and judged. Projects you undertake together may seem like a great strain, a constant battle, a grind, a struggle against overwhelming odds. A certain grimness and pessimism can permeate your interactions. However, all is not for naught, and the constant effort may eventually lead to an important accomplishment.

If you are expecting this friendship to be a casual, light happy acquaintance, then you are mistaken. This relationship can lead to success in a joint effort, but only after much hard work and effort.

Most importantly, refrain from being excessively critical of each other or cynical towards one another. Even a little joking can turn bitter quickly, and things said in jest between you can have a biting edge that was not originally intended. If you truly respect each other and give each other recognition for achievements and contributions, much of the negative potential described above can be avoided.

---Alternate Interpretation from Astro.com---
The square of Mars and Saturn indicates that the two of you are working at cross purposes. But this aspect does not often give rise to open warfare. Usually it produces negative feelings that seethe below the surface without ever coming out into the open. Occasionally your feelings will go past the boiling point, however, and there will be a big explosion of angry words between you.
With this aspect in your composite chart, you obviously have work to do. First of all, you must open the channels of communication between you. Say exactly what is on your mind and try not to express irritation in little cutting remarks.
In a sexual relationship, this aspect often creates differences of timing. One of you will always be in a different mood from the other, and both of you will insist on what you want when you want it. Obviously someone has to give, and that will be difficult in this case.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted November 15, 2012 10:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^Notice how it even talks about your differences in sexual timing? That's mars-saturn at work. That's because mars is literally action and what you want to do at a certain moment in time. Mars is also literally sexual drive. The moon-uranus affliction i also doubt was the reason you thought he was weird, it was a combination of those two mars afflictions. I have had one or both of those mars afflictions with a few people and they really really shook up everything I stood for, and what I stood for bothered them as well.

I can see how a venus saturn affliction in synastry only added to him not showing affection and not wanting it. I can also see how venus-saturn in synastry made ya feel guilty about staying committed to him even if u were unhappy. Always a lot of security in saturnian relationships.

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DepTaurus
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posted November 15, 2012 11:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DepTaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I read this last night but i didn`t have much energy to reply.I wanted to say good for you i know you were struggling for freedom there for a while and i am glad you had the courage to end something that you just could not take anymore.

I hope that you have some peace now.

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 15, 2012 02:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
More than anything, what I notice here, more than composite moon and venus being afflicted by neptune and uranus (because I don't usually pay much attention to those aspects, as they can usually be worked out with compromise) is composite mars being afflicted by pluto and saturn. To me that is deadly and what caused all your problems. Those two, and also the fact that there is nothing holding this composite together at all. The only rather nice enjoyable aspect you have is composite venus conjunct jupiter. There is no configuration here that makes you feel like you merge into one, like you are better together than you would be alone, and like you have a sense of purpose together. That and the mars afflictions is the root of the problem.

I bet the descriptions for the following two aspects feel right on the mark for your relationship with this guy, don't they? that's because they are important.

^Notice how it even talks about your differences in sexual timing? That's mars-saturn at work. That's because mars is literally action and what you want to do at a certain moment in time. Mars is also literally sexual drive. The moon-uranus affliction i also doubt was the reason you thought he was weird, it was a combination of those two mars afflictions. I have had one or both of those mars afflictions with a few people and they really really shook up everything I stood for, and what I stood for bothered them as well.
I can see how a venus saturn affliction in synastry only added to him not showing affection and not wanting it. I can also see how venus-saturn in synastry made ya feel guilty about staying committed to him even if u were unhappy. Always a lot of security in saturnian relationships.


Thanks for the feedback about it all. I feel like Mars sq. Pluto was really a clash of our egos vs. him being abusive or cruel. Neither of us were ever physical but - and I hope this doesn't offend anyone - he did want to try things like restraining/mild choking during sex. But he didn't force me to do anything. He just had a kinkier side. IDK. I can relate a little bit, but the choking thing scared me kind of... I can most see it there with us, Mars-Pluto, since this can also be a sexual aspect.

Mars-Saturn was actually the WORST out of the 2, definitely. It made me always want to have sex, and he rarely did. It was really frustrating since once I convinced him to he enjoyed it but it was always one sided which is actually what lead me to end it last night, because yet again after a week of doing nothing/not seeing each other I wanted to be romantic and he said no. Also Venus-Saturn at work. So I had enough, to say the least, and put it out there that he obviously can't handle being with someone since he has no sex drive 75% of the time and to me, that is a red flag. Especially since I'm a natal Mars-Pluto person who needs sex for intimacy.

Yeah, I also agree on your comment about us not merging. The Venus-Juptiter conjunction fell in the 12th anyway and sometimes didn't come through. Only way I felt it helped was by giving us a boost of affection when we had none. But 12th house energies made it transient with a capital T. Yet the affection would come out spontaneously anyway. Also, I can say he was willing to go the limit with spending on me and never got mad at me about anything.

I see what you mean about Moon-Uranus also. I agree that I didn't think he was weird per say from it, but he just would cancel on me randomly or be emotionally unavailable which put me - the Moon - on edge a lot. I remember crying stupidly from feeling left behind or cast off by him at first which is Moon-Uranus hard aspect at work. :'/

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted November 15, 2012 02:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DepTaurus:
I read this last night but i didn`t have much energy to reply.I wanted to say good for you i know you were struggling for freedom there for a while and i am glad you had the courage to end something that you just could not take anymore.

I hope that you have some peace now.


Thank you honey, I appreciate that x3

I'm so glad I did too. Have no idea where it came from. I really think the eclipse on my Venus had much to do with the shot of extra bravery to let go. Stop resting change. Many a time with us I've pulled Death Rx for the whole ordeal in tarot which shows I feared change. But now I'm ready to seek it b/c it was all SO unfulfilling.

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RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake

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posted November 15, 2012 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
but he just would cancel on me randomly or be emotionally unavailable which put me

oh yeah that's moon square uranus definitely. lol.
knowing what i know now about composites and how they show compatibility i wouldnt get involved with anyone i didnt have a solid configuration going on with in composite

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