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Author
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Topic: How to melt a Capricorn moon's heart?
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 02:40 PM
  
Well it was really weird... and I know after I say this everyone will be like "Omg, drop him." But anyway...
We were talking everyday, laughing, he was always telling me I was cute even after I sent him a picture including my body (I'm chubby and self conscious about it. This is also an online kinda friendship, but it was weird because we both understood one another immediately... at first.) So one day he just ends the conversation on a really weird note. He actually excused himself from the conversation (texting) instead of just not responding or something. I though "hmm. okay." so a day went by and he said nothing. Another day went by and nothing, and I gave him space 'cause I didn't wanna be on his nuts ya know? Then when I cautiously was like "Hey," he was all snarky and mean. Long story short he said that he told some girl in his hometown how he felt and she didn't respond to it at all. And this is out of nowhere that he starts mentioning some other girl. Well ever since then I've been a LOT more reserved and we don't talk as much but he'll still initiate conversation. He doesn't say I'm cute anymore or tell me cute things or anything, although he still likes my pictures on Facebook. And he did apologize for being mean without me prompting him or anything. I'm just like "Ugh, F. this." but I think I'm addicted to the challenge of winning him over. So anyways that's why. But then I think "He did tell me he's immature." and I'm like "What if he just actually started liking me and was frustrated I wasn't there?" but it's been such a decrease and change in behavior that I have to get over that notion. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 2600
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 08, 2013 02:56 PM
Oh. God.What a douche move. Does he have a prominent Uranus at all?
They're usually prone to such "sudden" changes. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 03:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Oh. God.What a douche move. Does he have a prominent Uranus at all?
They're usually prone to such "sudden" changes.
Actually his noon chart (because he doesn't know his birth time) has him at Aquarius rising, and he has Venus opposition Uranus. Lucky me. I finally told him this was stupid and there wasn't a point in us talking, but he avoided it. So he must not like confrontation (direct) very well. (He has Mercury in Scorpio conj. Pluto... I'm pretty sure he knows exactly what he's doing.) Do they ever suddenly change back?!
As an Aries I'm taking this like a challenge and I want to beat him at his own game, but how?! IP: Logged |
meissieri
Knowflake Posts: 98
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted March 08, 2013 03:18 PM
Wow. I'm really sorry, he obviously did take some stuff out on you. Not cool.  He sure moved on from that girl he had feelings for fast. Sounds Uranian, like Doux Reve said. It's good you gave him space and controlled those impulses, though! Really is. I bet that wasn't easy for you. Pfft. Not sure if he's going to talk about those problems now. If you can do it, try to drop it for now and see what happens. Those pictures could mean anything! He's not consistent and I think that's really what you do want (with the Taurus moon). And sending that pic is brave  It's tough putting yourself out there. It was a normal pic I hope? IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 2600
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 08, 2013 03:21 PM
Venus opp. Uranus, eh..I think you liked the chase more than anything, though.. no? So.. it's like a challenge now. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 03:27 PM
Meisseri - YES it was a normal pic. The reason we even exchanged numbers is because I wanted to see his painting he was talking about and I told him straight from the get go "No c..k shots or you're out." I mean it too. I hate that stuff. I want to delete him and just forget this incident ever happened but my friend said to just leave him be. Doux Revé - Yessss. GAH. I was getting that consistency for a month! And then POOF. Gone. I was wondering to myself "Did I become boring? What?" but truth be told he never asked questions about me at all and anything I said about my life was met with a couple short responses. Yeah, it was the chase alright. But he was also a smooth talker and I have a knack for loving smooth talkers. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1699
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 08, 2013 03:55 PM
I'll be honest. I don't think he is playing a game. I think he is a bit indiferent to this. He likes you but he doesn't seem open to anything more with you or maybe with anyone.... Maybe you were "just chatting" from his perspective. Did you ever talk about meeting in RL? Usually guys who are really into you will try to meet you. Imo He is either apathetic and not that interested in anyone... or he lacks the stamina to pursue someone who is not easy to get, right next door to him (because it requires travelling to get to you)... or the third option, you may be correct that he likes someone else and does not see it happening with you guys. I would throw in the towel. I don't think this will miraculously become positive. I know you're being competitive and want to win him back... but the question is - is there anything to win back at all? Is the juice worth the squeeze? lolll Sometimes we get excited and think: wow I really click with that person!!! - but it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Is this really so special hannarama?
I have a feeling there are many other guys out there who you would click with just as much as you did with him initially.. My vibe is not that this was an amazingly unique connection. My vibe is that you just got excited about the whole thing, then he backed off and now you're in competitive Aries mode... This is not worth it. Trust me!! IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1699
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 08, 2013 04:12 PM
Oh - This is just something about Sagittarius that I've personally noticed with *many* Sag guys..
I'm not even sure if it's relevant here to your situation - but I think I should mention it.
It might help with other Sag men you meet in the future. They hate being told that they are important and meaningful to you. They have a huge adverse reaction to this. If you tell a Leo that he is an amazing person and very important to you - the Leo will just bask in the warmth of your affection and compliments (happily!). If you tell a Sagittarian the same thing - he will PANIC and *freak out* and run for the hills.
They are very scared of everything. From their perspective that compliment would mean that you have expectations from him and that you really see him as this "amazing" person.
All the Sags I know have self-esteem issues and they do not see themselves as "amazing". So first of all he will think - "She has a completely loony - over-idealized version of me"... and secondly he will think "This loony idealised version will turn into a HUGE problem when she starts to expect me to live up to something that I am entirely unable to live up to...... so I'd better get out while I still can and break her heart now, rather than later".. It's interesting to compare this reaction with a confident person like a Leo ^... who would be more than happy to take up your challenge and be the best man he can be... because you believe in him. And he would *love* that you believe in him. Unfortunately many Sags ^^ are not so emotionally mature, and not ready to do the work involved in being the -best- version of themselves they can be. Some are.... It depends on age as well..
But many are not. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 06:04 PM
No, you're absolutely right Odette. I just get mad at myself for being so open all the time. You would think I would learn but I hate/am not capable of repressing my feelings. Just to add insult to injury, he'd be like "Ly" sometimes. I would always respond with "That's...not practical." or something. But inside I was like "EEE!" ...*holds up hand.* I know. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 1457
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 08, 2013 06:07 PM
You do his taxes and book keeping for himIP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 06:09 PM
He totally has self-esteem issues!!!!!! I thought it was a Capricorn thing, not a Sag thing. Man I thought Leos were crazy. Fire signs are crazy in general! SHEESH. (Apologies to all fire signs out there. I'm only frustrated. Yes, I'm an Aries too!)
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 06:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
You do his taxes and book keeping for him
I'm the ugly secretary?! F. that. I'm not a second choice. Ahhhhh I'm so furious right now. IP: Logged |
CherryVodka
Knowflake Posts: 49
From: gallia, Ohio ,United States
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted March 08, 2013 06:44 PM
Anyone can have self esteem issues.IP: Logged |
CherryVodka
Knowflake Posts: 49
From: gallia, Ohio ,United States
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted March 08, 2013 06:51 PM
This same thing happened to me with a girl i was chatting with online when i was a bit younger, she really messed me up mentioning other guys. Honestly long distance isn't worth the heartache and wondering. but i know once you're in love with someone you can't let it go. I still struggle sometimes. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 06:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by CherryVodka:
This same thing happened to me with a girl i was chatting with online when i was a bit younger, she really messed me up mentioning other guys. Honestly long distance isn't worth the heartache and wondering. but i know once you're in love with someone you can't let it go. I still struggle sometimes.
Well... here's the deal or what I've come to realize about myself. In my natural state, without connecting to anyone else, I'm not depressed. I have things about myself I'd like to change but I don't focus on them and hate myself for it and get THIS down about my shortcomings. Everyone has shortcomings, it's a part of life. For me to wallow as much as I have I'm pretty convinced I was empathizing too much. We also didn't start out with the intention of dating. I told him he was cool, and he thought the same so I said we could be pen pals with no idea he would literally keep talking to me this long. He kept pushing it further and further so I finally thought "Yeah he's attractive, I accept." but I didn't flirt back so heavily. I just kept acting the same. IP: Logged |
CherryVodka
Knowflake Posts: 49
From: gallia, Ohio ,United States
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted March 08, 2013 07:01 PM
Interesting I was more like him in that sense then. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 08:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by CherryVodka:
Interesting I was more like him in that sense then.
Yeah. And every now and then he'll make comments like "I bet you say that to all the fellas." And finally I had it one day and I was like "Oh just my top 3." and he goes "mmm mmm."
I don't have time to decode people, especially if I'm not getting equal treatment back. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1699
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 08, 2013 09:30 PM
quote:
I hate/am not capable of repressing my feelings.
Hannarama -- Please don't hate that. You are who you are. It's a good thing that you are expressive. The best thing I've learned in my life is that it is OK to be who I am and let others knows who I am. After that it's their prerogative whether they want to get closer or not. You have to approach love/romance/sex from a stronger position imo
You are very apologetic and inclined to change things about yourself to please others. This is not what a relationship is all about. Sure you can and have to compromise, at times.. but you don't have to change *who* you are. Accept that some people simply will not like you or they might be disinterested/indifferent. It's a part of life.
Don't worry about it too much. It just happens. It's normal..
And unfortunately some people have depression and issues that leave them indifferent to *many* things in their life - not just to you...
You can't make the world spin backwards.. or make everyone love you. I've been through all this when I was younger. I was so much like you and I felt bad if I was rejected.. even if it was not a real rejection, I would still take it badly.
The thing is - We are all different and not everyone clicks.
This is NO reflection on you. It's not about YOU not being good enough or not having done enough or not behaving in a way that is attractive enough.
It's just about lack of chemistry ^^ You can't create something that isn't there. I just don't think it was there with this guy. Maybe I'm not right about this -- but my impression is that you're too much so - in a *hurry* to find someone.. In this sense you remind me a bit of aqua guy... Maybe it's the Moon opp Pluto. You're very intense about it.
I know you mentioned on the unrequited thread - that it is always unrequited for you, when you genuinely like someone.
I think this happens because you're too quick to the gun. Try to really *assess* that person and how good they are for you and how they affect your life.. before you say to yourself "I love them".
When someone makes YOU happy - that's when you love them.
This instinctive reaction to try to get a man who is kind of cold or unresponsive - is a competitive impulsive reaction.. It comes from lack of self-esteem and wanting to prove yourself. It's not really love.
Real love feels good, fulfilling and healing.
And it takes patience to meet the right person.. because you won't necessarily meet that guy tomorrow. But as time goes on, you meet a bunch of people in life (friends/lovers) who really feel right. I'm *positive* that you will also. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1699
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 08, 2013 09:43 PM
Sorry... I just realised that what I said about Sagittarius men could be taken the wrong way.
I didn't mean to imply that you should change and be less emotionally expressive.I actually think you should let them know WHO you are and what your personality is like.. and be more open and honest about that.
I told my Sag ex that I'm just an expressive person and if I give him a bear hug and tell him I am absolutely in love with him that just means that this is what I feel in that moment and I want to share that with him.
It does not mean that I have expectations - or that I will be proposing the day after or that I will tie him to my bedpost if he doesn't run.. And he understood. He believed me. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 11:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Hannarama -- Please don't hate that. You are who you are. It's a good thing that you are expressive.The best thing I've learned in my life is that it is OK to be who I am and let others knows who I am. After that it's their prerogative whether they want to get closer or not. You have to approach love/romance/sex from a stronger position imo
You are very apologetic and inclined to change things about yourself to please others. This is not what a relationship is all about. Sure you can and have to compromise, at times.. but you don't have to change *who* you are. Accept that some people simply will not like you or they might be disinterested/indifferent. It's a part of life.
Don't worry about it too much. It just happens. It's normal..
And unfortunately some people have depression and issues that leave them indifferent to *many* things in their life - not just to you...
You can't make the world spin backwards.. or make everyone love you. I've been through all this when I was younger. I was so much like you and I felt bad if I was rejected.. even if it was not a real rejection, I would still take it badly.
The thing is - We are all different and not everyone clicks.
This is NO reflection on you. It's not about YOU not being good enough or not having done enough or not behaving in a way that is attractive enough.
It's just about lack of chemistry ^^ You can't create something that isn't there. I just don't think it was there with this guy. Maybe I'm not right about this -- but my impression is that you're too much so - in a *hurry* to find someone.. In this sense you remind me a bit of aqua guy... Maybe it's the Moon opp Pluto. You're very intense about it.
I know you mentioned on the unrequited thread - that it is always unrequited for you, when you genuinely like someone.
I think this happens because you're too quick to the gun. Try to really *assess* that person and how good they are for you and how they affect your life.. before you say to yourself "I love them".
When someone makes YOU happy - that's when you love them.
This instinctive reaction to try to get a man who is kind of cold or unresponsive - is a competitive impulsive reaction.. It comes from lack of self-esteem and wanting to prove yourself. It's not really love.
Real love feels good, fulfilling and healing.
And it takes patience to meet the right person.. because you won't necessarily meet that guy tomorrow. But as time goes on, you meet a bunch of people in life (friends/lovers) who really feel right. I'm *positive* that you will also.
It does, but I feel inadequate because of my weight (and I know I'm in control of that but it's a cycle, etc. I don't really want to get into the mechanics of how that makes me feel on here.) and then I see people my age going through relationship after relationship and I've had to watch it going on around me for so long that it's almost subconsciously programmed like "That's what I have to do. I need that. Everyone else has that. I need that. I need that. I need that." Except I don't. When guys do hit on me and want to hang out I react the opposite way for the most part. I don't want to hang out with them, make time for them. I don't know why. Anyway I didn't mean to go into lamenting about my personal problems, but you're right. And talking to you helped turn that switch on in me that says "I deserve more than being treated like I'm second class." Lol. You brought out the Leo in me, Odette! Thank you. 
IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1699
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 08, 2013 11:21 PM
I'm so glad it helped you hannarama
I did see your pic ages ago and I don't remember exactly what you look like but at the time I remember thinking you were beautiful. I didn't think you were overweight at all. You're worried over nothing.
Too many anorexic models in the media!IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4153
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 08, 2013 11:38 PM
Women always think I'm beautiful lol. Guys don't fawn over me though but maybe because it's less appropriate. Not that I mind either way, a compliment is a compliment. IP: Logged |
moonram
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: Neptune
Registered: May 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 08:30 PM
quote:
I would say to further this, do NOT I repeat DO NOT smother him or worry about him all the time, they do not like this. It puts them off, trust me.
My boyfriend is sitting next to me. I read this and he nodded emphatically. I have Moon and Mercury in Pisces...I worry a lot. IP: Logged |
meissieri
Knowflake Posts: 98
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted March 10, 2013 06:54 PM
Can't say anything that hasn't been said here already, but I'm glad it was a normal pic! The idea of someone having those kinds of pictures (just what they could do with it) creeps me out pretty bad. I totally get why you told him that immediately. This whole thread does make me wonder if Cappy moon plays out very differently in men and women. IP: Logged |
unforgiven_soul
Newflake Posts: 12
From: Greece
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted March 10, 2013 07:08 PM
A Capricorn moon doesn't express easily his/her feelings and is kinda tough to love. You need patience to show them that you 're worth of trust. If you manage that, then you 're a winner. I also want to add that Capricorn moons have a strong connection with the piano. I am a Capricorn Sun by the way...IP: Logged |
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