posted April 02, 2013 02:10 AM            

He invited me to stay with him the weekend just gone so I went and everything was just fine until the 3rd day in. I can talk to him about anything, he's not phased by a single thing, so emotionally open and expressive but this day something felt amiss. Like he was there by not THERE. Anyway come the evening time and well he really started to seem distant. I let it slide til bedtime and then I said hits going on with you why so cold, 3 hours of frank chatting later and he is saying how he started to have reservations about how can we make it less stressful in the future that he wants to spend time together but what if we can't afford to see each other and we want to see each other more and more and then he had asked his boss about expanding the company out and him relocating to be closer to me and he's trying to come up with all these ideas but none seemed to fit and he was stressing and then basically it seems he resigned himself to the fact that there was no simple solution so he began to close his emotions down. He didn't tell me he was thinking so much about all this so i Was shocked. I tried to calm him down and he said he is confused and worried about why he isn't giving me his whole self that its not acceptable. That he wants it to work but he has to be fully committed to move forwards doesn't want to get burned by us being more emotionally entangled for us then to be torn apart, he said everything fits with us and what we have comes hardly ever if at all, so he knows its a big deal.

We talked til 6am I was exhausted and when I woke i had a couple of suggestions and he hadn't thought of them and they didn't sound so scary and he said I was giving him the most amazing opportunity to turn his life around but he didn't know why he had closed down and he needed to think about why it happened and if he could gets that back. I went through some different emotions of course and asked if all he told me was just rubbish and he said no way he stood by everything he said to me and I said look just tell me if you are looking to get out and he said not to count him out and that even though he felt his options were stacked against him, he wants space to unpick everything. So we cut the weekend short and went for a walk on the beach to end the weekend more nicely, we held hands and then When I left he gave me this huge hug and I was crying saying is this your goodbye and he said no is not good bye just let me fight my demons. I messaged him when I was home as he asked me to and I said it felt painful and he said to keep my chin up. I said I would give him space although it would be hard. He said he knew but that he needs his space in order for us to stand any kind of chance. I asked him to please let me know what he wants to do either way over phone not text and he said he would and my only other ask was that he read back through all our correspondence where we had talked so lovingly and he said he would. How much space do I give? I know it's a massive ask, half of me is disappointed that he isn't up for just going for it and the other half respects him for considering it logically and practically like a virgo would.

I'm hurting like hell and have done so much research about virgo men and some places say that when he loves you having no contact should be reassuring because he really is analysing and really does love you but then the non astro sites say this is classic I want to break up with you but haven't the courage yet?

He said that the easiest option would be for him to cut it off now and save any heartache but that a part of him doesn't want to as of course he wants it to work and so I said you don't want me to wait for you but at the same time if a part of me could wait you want me to and he said basically yes but he didn't want to be so selfish and would feel like a horrible person thinking I am waiting and to live my life!. It feels like a mixture of brush off and confusion but I don't get how he can let me go if I am his soulmate. It just doesn't happen, does it?

So what do I do now? I literally just know he is perfect for me and I am so loathe to let him go but realistically do I need to? Can anyone and everyone give me as much insight into Virgo males behaving like this and what my next steps should be please? To wait or not to wait? Because we spoke in some way everyday since the 9th march I feel lost without his lovely messages and its making me an insomniac and heartache is maxed out. Even on Saturday he talked about us going to concerts and stuff so what's going on? Have I lost him ???

Some of his major placements are moon Aries, merc virgo, cancer venus, mars aries

Thanks anyone, I'm truly grateful for any help.

Oh and when I suggested about us moving closer to one another which is what he wants he said he was worried about me uprooting my life in case it didn't work and then he would feel guilty, but its my choice to make surely. He is soooo concerned with the details. He seems to be getting caught up in the future a great deal when we haven't even sorted out the early days.

posted April 02, 2013 10:20 AM            

Are you really ready to change your life for someone you don't know that well ?

posted April 02, 2013 10:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beckylee:
I think he really likes you but if you live far away from each other it's hard.

Are you really ready to change your life for someone you don't know that well ?

It takes months to know if you can be in a serious relationship w someone.

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I know it sounds crazy but yes I would change my life for him as I believe in this sooooo much. I know it won't be easy and I accept it. I'm not one for rushing in but this feels too right. But I would like to at least try to slow it down a little trial meeting up at the weekends but he seems to be fast forwarding past that!

posted April 02, 2013 12:25 PM            

Now he toned down a little after I told him that these things take time.

posted April 02, 2013 12:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beckylee:
I have a virgo bf right now and he was like that when we first met. He was like you are my soul mate and he really looked like he meant it.

Now he toned down a little after I told him that these things take time.

I guess they express how happy they are with you like that. At least I took it that way.

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Thanks that's reassuring,did he do a time out on you though?? I'm ok to wait I think , hopeful at least

posted April 02, 2013 01:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beckylee:
We couldn't meet for 2 weeks after our first few dates because I got really sick for 2 weeks. Maybe it gave him time to think.

Even if things don't work out for you guys, it's clear that he really likes you My boyfriend told me he would never say such things to a girl just to make her happy. I don't believe him completely, but they probably mean it.

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posted April 07, 2013 09:14 AM            

Both of you move 40 miles towards each other, and you are half an hour driving from each other, and yet 40 minutes away from work. People have made transcontinental relationships work, with one in Europe or one in Asia, and the other in America. I know one from New York and the other from Dublin, and now they live in Stockholm. Lol.

posted April 07, 2013 09:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Oh come on. It's just 110 miles apart.

Both of you move 40 miles towards each other, and you are half an hour driving from each other, and yet 40 minutes away from work. People have made transcontinental relationships work, with one in Europe or one in Asia, and the other in America.

Is he for real? You sure he's not married? As an older man, I'm reading between the lines. Single guys are mobile, even if they are homeowners.

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YEP!

I am a Pisces lady in a long distance relationship with a Virgo....to the tune of 1200 miles, havnt seen eachother in almost a year...

posted April 07, 2013 10:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hippichick:

Virgos are the true sign, especially the males, that can be happily single and alone...

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Seems like Virgos are one of those signs that doesnt need a partner to complete them. I am a Virgo female and I dont feel the need for anyone to complete me, just a partner who can ride along with me.

posted April 07, 2013 12:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Oh come on. It's just 110 miles apart.

Both of you move 40 miles towards each other, and you are half an hour driving from each other, and yet 40 minutes away from work. People have made transcontinental relationships work, with one in Europe or one in Asia, and the other in America. I know one from New York and the other from Dublin, and now they live in Stockholm. Lol.

Is he for real? You sure he's not married? As an older man, I'm reading between the lines. Single guys are mobile, even if they are homeowners.

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posted April 07, 2013 12:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
In that case, could he be commitment phobic?

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He doesn't seem to be, he had only had long term relationships so far. Anyway I caved in and called him, I was very upset and when I told him what I am going through emotionally he said he can't do this anymore to me, that he can't live with what he's putting me through, he said its not my fault and I did the right thing in calling him as if we had stuck it out and he found out I'd been through this he would have been cross. But now he knows he will take it to the grave, I reiterated everything I feel, he said he doesn't regret saying I love you and that he has love and strong feelings for me still but right now he doesn't think he can get over the way I've been feeling and he doesn't think we can have a future now. that he will probably regret this for the rest of his life and he would rather be single as he's never experienced a relationship like this and believes I am the one but he's just not wired to be the kind to jump Into something without considering the future first, moving 40 miles each was a damn good idea that I wish I had thought of sooner, but anyway my impatience but honesty has ruined it now,

posted April 07, 2013 03:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I know that a man who truly lives a woman would move mountains and swim across oceans. I would never tolerate obstacles in my way. I ditched my parents and everyone else to marry the woman I love. And she ditched her parents and everyone else as well.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I feel empathy. Hope all gets better over time.

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posted April 07, 2013 03:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lihar:

Thanks, funnily enough I felt I would do that for him so I guess if he doesn't have it in him to dothat for me, he cannot love me enough and that is not my fault, he just doesn't have it in him, thanks again for you support. I feel comforted by the empathy. I have to remember my self worth. I do now question my thoughts on him being my soulmate, I must have got it all wrong,

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posted April 07, 2013 05:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
Soulmates don't have to be around for long..

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posted April 07, 2013 05:09 PM            

And soul mates are people whom we connect in extremely deep ways, who teaches us big lessons and affects us emotionally in a very dramatic way. They could be somebody you only knew two months, but they always have the ability to change your perspective of life, people and love.

And it's never a good idea to uproot your life for anyone, unless you hVe a ring on your finger...I think he's getting scared and the logical Virgo side is kicking in.

posted April 07, 2013 06:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
Yeah if somebody wanted to be with you enough, distance, financial constraints etc ain't going to stand in their way.

And soul mates are people whom we connect in extremely deep ways, who teaches us big lessons and affects us emotionally in a very dramatic way. They could be somebody you only knew two months, but they always have the ability to change your perspective of life, people and love.

And it's never a good idea to uproot your life for anyone, unless you hVe a ring on your finger...I think he's getting scared and the logical Virgo side is kicking in.

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Thank you that's a lovely description of soulmates , really movingly written.
I think you are correct, he got scared, he was doing the uproot planning thing and then his logical side brought him down to earth, the side that rules him most, otherwise like you said nothing would get in his way.

posted April 08, 2013 05:06 AM            

Show him that you care and give him time.
It all happened too quickly, you both need time to digest it. Dont chase him, live your life, but remain open. Itīs the hardest, I know (I have the same situation with a Pisces)

posted April 08, 2013 07:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by jjj:
If you really care about this man, give it a bit of time... all this sounds wonderful that a real man is supposed to come and grab you if he really wants you, but I have never seeing it work, at least in my life, I have always been active and shown my interest as well.

Show him that you care and give him time.
It all happened too quickly, you both need time to digest it. Dont chase him, live your life, but remain open. Itīs the hardest, I know (I have the same situation with a Pisces)

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Thanks, he definitely knows how much i care, in fact ive more than hammered home that point! Its true its all been very quick and overwhelming. I will stop chasing him, I think my dignity will be lost if I don't. I think I have done everything I possibly can, so even though he said right now there's nothing we can do to make it work, perhaps you are right, if I live my life and remain open, then maybe space and time will help the situation. I know its unlikely he will come and grab me but if he really wants us to be together and time gives him the chance to digest it and work out what he wants, then i guess he will be back in contact.

posted April 08, 2013 09:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by jjj:
What are your major placements? Aries moon-mars seem quite assertive placements to me.

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Mine are sun gemi, moon aqua, merc gem, venus taurus, mars libra

Oh you mean assertive as in he's made a decision and the aries in him will be quite decided on that?

I wondered if my Taurus venus and libra mars are clinging but not sure. I'm normally good at keeping my emotions under wraps, self preservation but this is a feeling of out of control. Is that another influence reacting with his ?