posted June 28, 2013 12:47 PM            

It's kind of a selfish placement but I don't feel selfish. In fact, it's the opposite. I feel like I am so selfless that I am nearly sacrificial and when others don't live up to my expectations, I get mad.

I've evolved to the point where I don't lash out at them and yell at them, but now my anger & disappointment is more dangerous because I turn it inward on myself. I tell myself, "It's your own fault for believing..." or "It's your own fault for..." whatever.

Here's a specific example I am steaming about.

I do contract work & I have deadlines. I have Friday deadlines with a two projects due today and I knew this yesterday. But I've been doing back to back projects for weeks and I feel like I haven't spent much time with my partner or my kids.

So yesterday, in spite of my deadlines, I took the day off. I spent time with my kids (which is fine, they are kids so I have no expectations with them).

However, I took the night off to be with my partner. He didn't get home from work til 10 & then I pampered him, gave him a massage etc. and basically set the tone for romance. The night did not go as planned and there was no reciprocation. I was so furious, I steamed about it until 4am. I didn't tell him, but I am angry. At first, I was upset with him but I feel like it's not his fault he didn't live up to my expectations because my expectations are too high.

I got up at 8:30 still mad. Now, I have these deadlines to attend to so I am mad at myself.

But it got me thinking about astrology because this is a recurring theme in my life. It happens at least three times a month. What is it and how can I retrain it so I am not CONSTANTLY disappointed?

posted June 28, 2013 01:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
Afflicted 7th house ruler? Saturn-Venus? little bit of Pluto as well?

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I have no planets in 7H but the ruler is Aquarius.

However, I *do* have Saturn aspects, Venus included.

Mercury conj. Saturn
Moon square Saturn
Saturn trine MC
Venus sext. Saturn
Saturn square Neptune

As far as Pluto is concerned, I have Mars conj. Pluto. and Neptune sext. Pluto (but that's a generational thing).

That Mars/Pluto contact could be it especially since I have Mars in Libra in H3.

posted June 28, 2013 02:02 PM            

Saturn, Neptune and Pluto come to mind.
Do any of them touch your inner planets?

And yes, might as well be a 7th house issue.

posted June 28, 2013 02:05 PM            

I feel like I always have to lower my standards to stay happy. In my current relationship, I am the happiest I have ever been because I feel like he is the closest to an equal I've ever known. And I don't say that meaning I am superior to him or to degrade him because I do love this man and deep down I know how lucky I am.

I say that like he is close to an equal because he offers an equal level of love & dedication MOST of the time. But not always.

posted June 28, 2013 02:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
((( Geeky )))

Saturn, Neptune and Pluto come to mind.
Do any of them touch your inner planets?

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Aye.

We were posting at the same time. See above ^

posted June 28, 2013 02:07 PM            

Saturn /Moon - I was definitely thinking about that one and you have the square.. I'm not surprised.

posted June 28, 2013 02:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Looks like I was quite right.

Our lesson is to be self-reliant and emotionally "independent" - we can never count on people cause life will pretty much always give us lemons when it comes to emotional support from others, lol..

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This is sooooooo very hard for me. I am Venus in Scorpio too and I just want to love/be loved at the most intense level.

*sigh*

You are right. I need to be more self-contained / self-reliant.

posted June 28, 2013 02:19 PM            

I know exactly where you're coming from, I have a Scorpio stellium and some Libra, also NN on the DSC - of course I dream of love and closeness, even in friendship, but something always seems to be on the way.

I'm trying my best to count my blessings now though, cause dwelling in negativity doesn't help.

posted June 28, 2013 02:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Anyway, you're not alone in this, if that helps.

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It does, thank you.

posted June 28, 2013 02:27 PM            

I think he holds it in and puts his game face on because his Sun also makes contact with Saturn (and he's a Capricorn).

I hope we can avoid a path of resentment. :/

posted June 28, 2013 02:36 PM            

He should be able to "get you", if anything..

But then again, we're all different, some people with Moon / Saturn will be super closed off whereas others (I think this is especially true for the opposition, which I have) will be more willing to open up to others and try to "connect" with close people emotionally.

I think it's very important to let your partner know about your frustrations..
It's usually hard for us to express negative feelings towards people but sometimes it all explodes, which isn't cool.

posted June 28, 2013 06:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
Where does this come from in a chart?

It's kind of a selfish placement but I don't feel selfish. In fact, it's the opposite. I feel like I am so selfless that I am nearly sacrificial and when others don't live up to my expectations, I get mad.

I've evolved to the point where I don't lash out at them and yell at them, but now my anger & disappointment is more dangerous because I turn it inward on myself. I tell myself, "It's your own fault for believing..." or "It's your own fault for..." whatever.

Here's a specific example I am steaming about.

I do contract work & I have deadlines. I have Friday deadlines with a two projects due today and I knew this yesterday. But I've been doing back to back projects for weeks and I feel like I haven't spent much time with my partner or my kids.

So yesterday, in spite of my deadlines, I took the day off. I spent time with my kids (which is fine, they are kids so I have no expectations with them).

However, I took the night off to be with my partner. He didn't get home from work til 10 & then I pampered him, gave him a massage etc. and basically set the tone for romance. The night did not go as planned and there was no reciprocation. I was so furious, I steamed about it until 4am. I didn't tell him, but I am angry. At first, I was upset with him but I feel like it's not his fault he didn't live up to my expectations because my expectations are too high.

I got up at 8:30 still mad. Now, I have these deadlines to attend to so I am mad at myself.

But it got me thinking about astrology because this is a recurring theme in my life. It happens at least three times a month. What is it and how can I retrain it so I am not CONSTANTLY disappointed?

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This is exactly how I feel!
I have a Moon/Saturn Opposition, and it feels like everyone around me is useless and can't do anything properly. Especially my family; I feel my way is the best way and the fastest way of doing something.

posted June 28, 2013 06:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sven555:
This is exactly how I feel!
I have a Moon/Saturn Opposition, and it feels like everyone around me is useless and can't do anything properly. Especially my family; I feel my way is the best way and the fastest way of doing something.

It feels like you can't depend on anyone atall, you have to do your own thing. But if you decide to "sacrifice" yourself for someone else's sake, they don't really care; or don't show the appreciation that YOU are expecting them too do.

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posted June 28, 2013 07:45 PM            

Moon/Saturn.

Everyone let me down, I organised a "party" and they all left and now I'm alone, feeling lonely and sad.

posted June 28, 2013 09:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
This just happened to me tonight.

Moon/Saturn.

Everyone let me down, I organised a "party" and they all left and now I'm alone, feeling lonely and sad.

I need a hug.

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posted June 28, 2013 09:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
((( Hugs )))) Doux. Sorry things didn't go as planned

Hope your night gets better, and is already!

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Thank you, SSS
You're a sweetheart.

I'm feeling a bit better, have been reading about emotional healing - I have to read about self-healing when I get depressed, otherwise I go back to a dark place, uh uh.

quote:

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Originally posted by hikoro:
*hugs*

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Thanks, hikoro

quote:

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i can see the same thing happening to me...
doux, do you think we give out a funky vibe to people?

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I have no idea what kind of vibe I give out, to be honest.
I'm usually just very "normal" - nothing weird here.. Or so it seems to me (?)
I don't know, it's hard to know how others perceive me.

quote:

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do you ever feel like a fish out of the water in social situations? that is, not big on the chit chat, start talking to someone and, the person ends up excusing herself and decide to say hi to someone else...and you're thinking: what did i do?

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Depends.
I can be social, it comes easily to me.
But the thing is, I'm the one who gets tired of people, so sometimes I withdraw because most things people talk about are not interesting to me.
So I can come across as.. I don't know, anti-social? sometimes, lol.

quote:

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maybe we overwhelm people with our intensity? we bore people because we are too serious? what do you think it is?

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I don't think that's it in my case, although I can't say for sure.
No one would ever call me 'intense', that's for sure.
It's just that I'm a very sensitive person when it comes to changes in mood / emotional undercurrents.
I pick up on stuff most people don't even realize is happening.
And it can be very annoying, because my vision of things is different from that of others.
The things I consider important and the things others consider important are pretty much always at odds, which leaves me frustrated.
That's why when I want to do something that involves other people - like hanging out with buddies, going to a "party", whatever - it almost always ends up with me feeling bad.
I just can't seem to "connect" with anyone on a level that'd be satisfying to me.

posted June 28, 2013 10:08 PM            

Well.. obviously I have some skeletons in the closet, like most people.

You'd be surprised at the things I've been through.

posted June 28, 2013 10:17 PM            

I always notice your loving comments, so nice of you.
I can tell you're a beatiful person inside and out.

Oh.. I think I'm cheering up already!

Eh, it's 4 am here but I'm getting hyper again. :facepalm: